Run

I want to tell you about running, Lola.

It is interesting to feel, to sense running. Perhaps it is better to start in the evening. Choose a quiet place. That way it might be easier for you to get to know yourself.

Start slowly. The most important thing is your feelings. The most difficult is breathing. It needs to be let go. Direct control of breathing is not the best way. Think about anything - just not about breathing, let it live its happy life, like a person at a known temperature of "thirty-six and six."

You are able to notice the beauty of the world, Lola, I know. Apply this skill while running. Exclude competitiveness, all the way to the end - competition with others, and even with yourself. Here and now there is nothing more important than your sensations and breathing, everything else should not bother you.

If your breath is in a fever, slow down. Up to walking, if necessary. Walk even for a month until you feel that it's time to run again.

Learn to restrain yourself, while enjoying it.

You need to look for it in yourself, it is a pleasure hidden in you. The longer you run, the more it accumulates. At first you will sense that the feet are no longer feeling slightly stiff, as if not flexible enough. Then there will be more and more heat in the legs and some kind of dreamy power will begin to arise there. Touch it with attention, don't let it fly away. Accumulate this longing until the whole body begins to feel light. This is the first breath.

You will one day feel that you can run this way your whole life as much as you like. But even then, do not let the longing take you into accountlessness, do not break into a rush. Just wait. The body runs as if by itself, weightless, joy warms you, but you continue to keep pace.

Amazing confidence will come to you. You will notice that there is no more doubt - how to keep your hands, either bent only a little, or half bent, or even let them sag? They themselves will find their place, they themselves will begin to move in time with the general movement, you will feel coherence, you will feel it in action. What a beautiful word is coherence.

Nowadays, they often talk about meditation. I still have not understood exactly whether all the speakers mean the same thing when they pronounce this word. However, I know for sure that if you run correctly, all superfluous will go away by itself. Your spirit will be the spirit of lightness. And you will find an answer to any question.


At some point, sooner or later, new sensations will come. You will feel the joints. They will become filled with fatigue. Thoughts will come that running is absurd. The question "why" will arise.

At this point, it is better to stop if you are not yet in shape. But when you get stronger, you can try to get through this. For example, like a sail in the wind. Imagine the wind blowing in your back. Your back is a sail. Now, you are sailing on the board holding the sail, and a fair wind drives you. You are the sail, and the board, and the wind, and the one who holds the sail tightly. At your disposal are any means, everything that you once experienced and can imagine. I chose a sail.

If you succeed - and you succeed - you will feel lightness again. At some point, you will catch yourself feeling joy, not joints. This is a second breath. You feel again that you can run as long as you want. This condition of acquiring a new breath will repeat.

... A strange thought might come to you one day - that your personal running is the only thing that makes sense, that gives you a feeling of genuine life, where you actually feel alive. Don't send this thought away...


Now only you decide which moment to choose as a culmination. Did you dream about how you run, accelerate, push off, and - fly? This state will come to you. You will fly. You can do whatever your soul desires. And it will be beautiful.

*

Run, Lola! Run through the passers-by, who stink, as if in spite, of strange things called perfumes. How ironical, because they say that once perfumery was intended to hide the stench, and now the perfumery itself is most often a stink. Do not let this stink knock you off the running wave. Run. They will scurry around you, and intently rush off somewhere, radiating irritation and longing. Do not let the hustle and bustle hinder you. Run.

Run, Lola! Run through people smoking on the go, through their stinking plumes! Run through the pigeons climbing under your feet, as if infected with dementia from people. Run through the children, these homeless creatures with their existing parents alive, children with warped facial expressions madly screaming their fantasies, copying their loved ones, copying movies, copying everything they met.

Run, Lola! Run along the sea, along the ocean, run through the Ardennes forest, to your Amber, to your real land made of real substance, not reflections. Somewhere out there, Roger (*1) will wave a welcoming flashlight to you. Run through your Labyrinth, your Pattern, having recreated yourself anew, and with the effort of thought you will be transferred to the place that is hidden in your soul. That place is known only to you.

Run through the vast expanses of Olafa, in one of the corners of which exists fireweed-sutta (*2). And in another place, an old man who knows about the escape of meltwater and is full of love for his granddaughter, cuts the sky with a penknife with one wave of his hand (*3).

Run without looking back. After all, now you know the secret, you understood the mystery hidden between inhalations and exhalations. The wordless essence lurking in the body revealed itself to you in sensations. Nothing can stop you now. So run, Lola! May your sail and wind always be with you.

... One day, Lola, you will find true people. Such people who do not need to mask their spirit with internal perfumes. Those people who have this spirit, their own, genuine, at all, who do not need tricks to imitate themselves. You will be able to see and feel such people, Lola. By now, your own spirit has changed ...

What will happen then, Lola? You, perhaps, will fly together, or go sailing to unknown horizons. Whatever happens, Lola, tell you story to those who are still waiting for miracles. A world where street children play, digesting each other, needs your story. Perhaps it is you who will show us that the laws can change if we become stronger.



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* 1 - Roger Zhelyazny, author of the series "The Chronicles of Amber"
* 2 - Oleg Nikolaevich Ermakov, author of the novel "Ivan-Tea-Sutra"
* 3 - Mikhail Rezin, author of the story "Flight of meltwater"