Идём на помощь Шекспиaру Вильяму нашему

Ну как тут не протянуть руку помощи?
От Владивостока до Конотопа и Филадельфии...
Отрывок из новой книги

  ****               
               
Dedicated to Villiers de l'isle Adam (19 sciecle) - author of the novel
"l'Eve future"                about the ideal woman, named by him Android.               

- What must your... special woman looks like? 
- It`s my woman.

Special woman,
or Dead hand

Novel, or a play for the theatre of the absurd
Larisa Mironova
 

Characters
Supreme Rulers of the planet:
President of the World Olabama, after a skin transplant from the fifth point, he looks like a youngster
Prezident war Frau Kalmar, a youngish woman in trousers, with a short haircut, from time to time waving his hands and whispers: "Dibs, dibs! Hande Hoh, asshole!".

The speaker of the Congress of the transition period, simply called
Bobo, a brisk old man, is talkative, glibly swears in Russian and lies without batting an eye, on his back, closer to the coccyx, an alarm button, in case of right danger, immerses him in sleep; another button between the blades — remote control movement and speech,
in front of his black glasses, rolled the doorman is

Monsieur Pepo, nicknamed (written on the back) HEROYAM SALA,
he is in an old motorcycle riding suit, donated by President O'la-land.

Yaytsenyuh — messenger from another world, invisibly present before the mind's eye Frau, her everyday nightmare is outstretched hand of Yaytsenyuh.

Android - perfect woman of the future.

Lord Ewald younger  -  is a miserable, suicidal Englishman, the victim of a love affair with a beautiful bourgeois woman by name Alicia K.,;but that soon turns to hatred.

Alicia K.- the fine bourgeois with a down-to-earth nature.

Extras are depicted on numerous screens hanging over the stage - members of Congress, sitting on Skype, inflated NATO soldiers, as well as freaks, cripples, inadequate and other victims of the war.
Large on center the scene the writing:

POPROSHAINICHAT ZAPRISCHINO!

ACT ONE (PROLOGUE)
Rulers world play in childish game, which them has taught Vovo. He shakes a limp hand Frau Kalmar, monotonously sentencing: "Inanimate hand, inanimate hand", then with shout "Babakh!" suddenly hits the hand of Frau on the nose of Olabama, that profusely bleeding, he whimpers:

Olabama: Again all my face spoiled, the bully with a temper nasty!
The doorman Pepo (brings a bowl, dunks the face of Olabama in the water): This is for Guantanamo, ablesyana Hawaiian!
Frau Kalmar: Guinean! Fool! (belligerently) Schmutzig Schwein! (beats Olabama punched in the head).

Monsieur Pepo: Again? Always there are heromants agreements violate!
Frau Kalmar (ironically): Oh-Oh-Oh. What all of themselves offended! I don't mean you. What stand as a stump? Let the boxer through the anus! Schnell! (Waving his hands.) Oh, my God! Hande Hoh! Let him there devour giblets in Ukrainian. Yatsenyuk? And let him go there too! (her cell phone rings, the melody of the call goes: "Deutschland, Deutschland, Hubert alles"; Frau spitefully says into the phone.) Go you to the anus, you are likes cutlet bits! The doorman will send you there.
However, Pope does not listen to her and plunges Alabama's head back into the basin. Saves it from flooding In.
Bobo: (pathos) Sirs and Fraud! Pardon... Sirs and Frau!  It is not yet time for decisive action! Wait for the signal! (He feels the top button on his back and kicks the basin out of Pepo's hands with his left foot, breaking Olabama's lips in the process.)
Olabama (whimpers): I only Babakh wanted to listen to the, Fugue number №24. You always promise, and all's remarks lying.…
Bobo (fervently): Will for your fugue to a New Year, will the number 24, and the 25!
(He folds Frau's limp hand into a fig and holds it up to Alabama's nose.)
Alabama (whimpering): 25-th fugue there is no have Babakh! Candy Rass told me! Ay, you are bully, nasty... (He runs off in a corner, smearing blood all over pink cheeks, pulls from his pocket the little pink dumbbells and begins to nervously swing muscles.)
Bobo: Evoked the last year's snow! Candy taught you Russian from Dostoevsky as well? Listen here, lousy democrat, will you and 24-I, and 25-I ... this ... Fig ... Fugue... Recognize now! (He presses the top button on his back. Behind the stage you can hear the sounds of breaking dishes.)
Frau Kalmar (with satisfaction): Wundeba! 
               
Olabama (gloatingly): Again on its cuisine please! To his wife Milky gift for the holiday! (Giggle.)
Frau Kallmar (becoming more and more animated): Zum nehsten mal wir alen ... machen ... besser! (Slaps Bobo on the back - on the one bottom and then on the top button. There is a series of deafening explosions. Lights go out. In the dark Olabama whispers timidly:)
Olabama: Bobo ... himself something as? Ready already? 
Bobo: What?
Olabama: Are you ready to confess already?               
Bobo (hisses): And you made?
Olabama (pathos): Long live God! Hahay-hi! I thought I'd give you a Christmas present. There is no, not worry, nothing worthwhile, simply somewhat junk remained from Edison, was have us in Amerigo Vespucci such krazy, can you be appropriate, and the hangs on balance without affairs, pity even. What do you say? Well, if you want, you can pay one back to avoid suspicion of the corruption. Yeah chance to buy back... but not rustling you bills, pleas, here the walls have ears... Let's change...  And I am a cash need, for phone call. It`s go? Wait.
Bobo: (whistles) Wait for the answer, like a Nightingale of summer. What are you not presenting?
Olabama: You are as a baby. I have to count the cash myself. What if it's fake? And to me it is necessary!
Bobo: So, what do you need, a quarter? And what ahead of time not stocked up?

Olabama: Yes, I stocked up, but Monsieur Pepo, as will take clothes to the dry cleaners, so all the pockets will be cleaned. And Frau Kalmar takes loans in the quarters, yesterday I hid the last one in the boot, so she lay at my feet until took off my shoes. She promised to repay her debt in the morning tomorrow, gave her word of honor as a pioneer… Yes! She gave a promised and give honest pioneer she was given! And the quarters she still did not give me… But gave me a stamp only… She's got a suitcase full of it. But why? Of the letter I am not write, I wanted to call from phone-automaton. All commies, you such... Oh! Is there a phone I might use to? (whimpers).
Bobo: (thoughtfully) Come on. Okay. It would have been worse if she had shod you, that is, deceived you...

Olabama: How is that okay? How am I going to call Mishka?
Bobo: You'll send a pigeon, that means – golubey.
Olabama: There are no pigeons! (goes away singing): There are no pigeons, there are no anything golubey… then...