Mind Transformation 458

458.
S, i, s, z, f, ch, y, r, b - 2, yu, j, d, wa, ch.
Dream: I was at X’s apartment and there was a kind of fighting. A little bastard killed a baby with a knife. Then I killed this bastard and some other bad guys. But then more of them appeared and I had to run away to save my life. These guys were at the kitchen, and I jumped out of the apartment through the window. When I was close to my home, I realized that I forgot something at the apartment. So I got back and took it. I also took a few bags with money belonged to bad guys. After I left the apartment at the second time, I met Y and his brother in the street. There was a real kungfu fight between us and there were also other people helping them. So I’ve beaten them, but at the end I started complaining that they tried to attack me with numerical superiority. But still it was a nice battle. Punches and kicks were like in movies, and I watched that kind of movie through the eyes of its main character.
That’s the dream. Now, here is a line to start a poem, “I’ve forsaken my native tongue.” It came up when I was working on new words from the poem “The Garden of Proserpine,” that I’ve been learning for a week or so. This word “forsaken” instantly attracted my attention, and the above line showed up in a few seconds.
Yesterday, I wrote about programming, but it seems I have no actual desire to work seriously in this field. It’s simply not as inspiring as poetry or philosophy or whatever else I’m doing in life. I can learn programming and work on my project for a sufficient amount of time and maybe then it’ll become more interesting so that I’ll be able to focus on it completely. Now it’d better develop myself in the direction I took many years ago. Seeking outstanding ideas, thoughts, feelings, tragic stories, inspiring works of any kinds in literature, science, life, death—
Today, I’ve decided to record on video the poem I’m learning now. I probably may learn a poem like this every month and make amazing videos with them. What if I create a new channel and make 12 outstanding videos every year—it sounds very promising. Lot’s of people read poems on YouTube, but not so many can memorize a hundred lines. Mostly there are no real people reading poems but only texts and voices in the background. This “Garden of Proserpine” is really hard to memorize fully even for a native speaker, and a man who reads it in a video that I’m watching always looks at the text.   


To the beginning: http://www.proza.ru/2018/03/10/1530
Next: http://proza.ru/2020/06/03/769

See me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC43fwC5DpfaJi3wGQO5b_ZA?