PART 2 The Best Friend

"We are each our own devil, and we make this world our own hell". (Oscar Wilde)

PORTRAIT of JOVAN

I met Jovan, a gym instructor when my head was in clouds and pink glasses made life wonderful. He took care of neck pain, showed sincerity and open- mind. And he was very interested in my Little Dream and my work with special kids as he loved children himself, worked with them and had his own kids. From time to time he went to USA to make money, so he seemed could understand why I left “a paradise” as local people perceived America. I arranged some gym sessions and we started to work.
Sure, I shared with him my plans for life. As he worked with regular kids, he told me about his desires to include special kids as his work as well. We started to discuss ideas for cooperation and he convinced me that he’d do everything to make my ideas work. He introduced himself as a person with power and respect from people. He said he’d use the local media to inform people.  Besides, he had many friends, and the Mayor of the city was his good friend. Mayer “s wife takes gym sessions with Jovan.
He warned me a lot to be careful with local people and their specific mentality, lack of desire to work and take advantage of tourists. Since I didn’t know language I was in risk to become a pray for wrong people.  Then I didn’t know that it’s very popular to say that all around are bad, but I’m the one who is good. Seems as part of local mentality, what I  heard often.

BUILDING of TRUST

 Slowly I started to trust Jovan on everything. He introduced me to his little daughter and then to his wife and a small baby. His wife told me that she was teaching their daughter to be honest the same way as her parents taught her. Jovan’s parents were hardworking people. Father left for USA when Yugoslavia broke. Just the same as me. Mom was waiting for him with 3 children. I knew all his family. All children with high education. Everybody is married and have kids. Beautiful decent family. We talked a lot about money affecting people in a bad way and Jovan taking care of other people well-being and physical pain.  Jovan really did everything to show me that he is a sincere caring friend. We talked a lot about how he appreciated honesty and trust in people, being non-materialistic. I treated him as a son bringing him little presents-chocolate or nice tea. His little baby-son called me “baba”. Most of time I used to work with young guys and it was very habitual situation for me. In last work I was the only woman in boy’s residence among workers (many sons). They shared their problems, asked for advice or to help out. So for me working partner as Jovan seemed as a regular thing
Since Soviet time sincere people, good friends and unconditional help were a problem in my life. American life seemed wasn’t designed for that. So in my “pink glasses” with my “head in clouds’ I thought that I was bestowed “an angel” to make my dreams come true. It happened that he really became the most reliable and trustful person in my new life by filing up my wings with high hopes. It felt good to have a reliable friend on a new place. Some problem was that all main things should start at the fall when Jovan will return from his summer work in USA.
In short I became  completely blind. Even when obvious signs of “something was not really right” and even obviously wrong started to show I still held for my own trust and tried to ignore or find excuses for wrong things. Even when wrong things became obvious to other people I still didn’t give up and when one of Jovan’s friends asked me “Do you trust Jovan in 100%?” I said: “Yes” without any hesitation…

FINALLY : INSIGHT !!!

But then slowly the “worm of doubts” started to raise its head and my mind became realistic. It became obvious “I was taken for a ride” with apartment buying.  I’ve learned later such stories were pretty popular for new comers in those areas or maybe it was everywhere. I was afraid of that and talk to an old friend about coming and help out…. But why id Jovan was already to help me to have a nice oldness
I still hoped that we could resolve the problem what Jovan promised while being in America He explained that he has nothing to do with the fraud and it all the fault of terrible Albanian Mafia which hurts us-honest hardworking people. But being in USA he consulted lawyers how to proceed in order to get out of the story without losing anything. A lot of lies and cheating became obvious

ATTACK is THE BEST DEFENSE

When he returned back he was ”broke financially”  complaining about his financial problems. He also used the tactic “Attack is the best defense” blaming me  for creating gossips about him (although I never mentioned his name to anybody before he came back) He complained  his business suffered because Albania Mafia took revenge of him because he was my friend and helped me to buy an apartment. His words had no logic. So he sent a long list of strange blames and blocked the contact
His wife also refused to meet with me and clarify things in order to find mutually satisfying solution, explaining that her husband is kind of a “real angel”, who only helps everybody around and those who had any doubts about that is very bad person by default.
I met Jovan again suggested him to donate money which were involved in his dishonest actions. I suggested him to donate money to where they should be-for special children.
But he rejected the idea of donation, complained a lot about his financial issues and life being expensive. Returning from USA he refreshed his old business and opened a new one.  He also informed me that my “new friend” a lawyer M. would try to get from me good money.