Feelings of life

                Didicated to Farrokh Bulsara

Feelings? What’s that? May be it’s what makes the heart beating quicker or slower? Something incredible what gives us the life? Fear, hatred, envy, greediness, generosity, friendship, love, indifference – what else the human being’s life is defined by?
   All feelings have one common point – what you have and what you can give. The man comes having nothing and goes taken nothing. I think that all feelings except love are born be the false idea that something indeed belongs to you or me.
   What is hatred? One man thinks that another has taken something what must belong to him. It is the nature of not only hatred but also envy and greediness. The fear is born when we are afraid to lose something. But what do we have indeed? It sounds crazy but we have only what we can give.
   Indifference – it’s the most terrible feeling! The man indifferent to everything is dead even he  still exists. Having nothing, he gives nothing. Desiring nothing, he creates nothing. Life – it is at first the creating of something. Creating of what you will leave after you pass your way.
   What is love?
I asked this question many people and got many answers. People told:
- Love – it is when two people can’t live one without another.
- Love – it is a flame for long time.
- Love – it is a feeling of duty to those who depend on you.
Once a girl said me:
- You take homeless dogs and cats and how can you leave me? You are responsible for those whom you have tamed!
I think (and it’s exceptionally my opinion) that all of them are wrong. Yes, I’m responsible for those whom I have tamed. But people – they are not homeless cats and dogs. They can, in difference to the last ones bring as the joy as the pain, the pain not physical but that one which hasn’t been leaving you for many year and may be will never leave you.
   Well, what is that – the love?
   Everything, I felt, says me: it is that warmth in the heart when you think about him or her. These are memories about that time you have spent together when you were falling in love. It is that beautiful you have created together. The love can’t stay at one place, at one moment. When it  becomes a habit – oh, then the love dies. As fire requires wood as the love requires always creating something new.
   Marriage, the thing without which humanity can’t go on, it is so beautiful and so terrible. Humanity is going on and on but the love is dying! But in every death there is a beginning of new life so the love is dying to be born again. It is so different: the love to the woman, the love to the man, the love to the brothers and sisters, father or mother, -so different and so similar – the warmth in the heart and disinterestedness, giving everything never thinking to get anything back.