5. Brother 13

6.

Saturday morning was terrible for her. She woke up early with the feeling that something irreparable had happened. An instant… and I remembered one's hands touching her body, stubborn lips... She felt sick, broken and humiliated.

These hasty, unnecessary, such frankly carnal touches seemed to desecrate her, violating her inner purity, peace and harmony, and almost completely crossed out the charm of the first "innocent" evening ... How her soul rejoiced after the first date! Now she was definitely thrown into the abyss.

Silence ... Everyone was asleep.

She needed some fresh air. Slowly dressed, Martha got out of home and went to wander.

At this early hour of the weekend, the streets were deserted; the tram rumbled only once; damp, thick fog filled the air, enveloping all the trees and buildings, obscuring the prospects. Outside as well as inside. It seemed that nature was grieving with her, and this was a quiet consolation.
Marta walked unhurriedly along the deserted streets with wooden houses that still survived in Otradnoye, and tried to explain everything to him.

Yes, I'm twenty years old. I am an adult... young, as you say, but I do not want everyone who is not lazy to touch me with their hands. Yes, I went with you myself, but could it have been different?.. What have you done? “You suit to me,” but you are only interested in the body! How can you say that I am suitable for you if you do not know me at all? You don't care what's going on inside me. I don’t want to! Physical sensations mean nothing to me.

What do you mean I can't feel you? I like you. I am pleased to see you, to hear your voice… you are interesting to me... But now the end! Sorry ... Yes, because I can't be with you the way you want.

No, don’t think, I’m not against it at all, but people need to love each other. And in our case, we cannot talk about love - you know, you are here for a while ... And if we suddenly fell in love, it would be a disaster for us. Am I right? Or do you not yet know what love is? But I know!..

Oh, what I mean! I understand: you are looking for an easy, non-binding relationship. You just want to be with someone ... No, I do not blame you, there is nothing special in such desire. But let it not be me. After all, there are ... girls who need the same. You will get along easily and both will have fun. And I feel bad! I feel bad, disgusting, devastated! This is what you did to me. And leave me alone, understand?! Leave me alone!"

Tears flowed from her eyes, mingling with light droplets of rain. There was no need to hide from anyone because there was not a soul around. One could cry and talk aloud to oneself.

Martha walked for a long time, and gradually her thoughts calmed down, and the blues gradually dissipated, like the morning fog. She was already just walking, listening to the outer sounds of the awakening city: somewhere a dog barked and a gate creaked, a tram that passed by began ringing; the trees rustled, swaying - still so black, wet; transparent drops hung on the tips of the branches, like tears, and it seemed to Martha that they were alive and were crying with her.

Well, but what about Sunday?.. I won't go! I said “yes"? Yes, I said yes...

Actually, Nutam, you were not so bad. I understand: if you really were so impatient, you could... Yes, if to think about it, I still have to say "thank you"... And in any case, you do not deserve that I deceive you...

Good. I will come and try to honestly explain to you why we cannot date. We can take a little walk and part in an amicable way. I will say that I liked you so that you don’t think that something is wrong with you... Maybe you’re right in own way, I just don’t need all this. You don't understand me at all!... It's a pity!

Deciding to do this, Martha felt relieved. She did not foresee any difficulties in carrying out her plans, unless he understands. But that's his problem, not her.

Deep down, she was pleased that she had met Nutam and that she had manage to go out of the story with no loss.


Nitram prepared for the siege. The problem was not that his pride, his male self, accustomed to victories, was hurt.

No, there was something about this girl that touched him deeply. And it was not about looks ...

He could not clearly understand the matter. She was of some other human species, and now, having rummaged in his memories, Nitram was forced to admit that he had never encountered anything like her. He had nothing to rely on.

He was used to the fact that girls of all colors and skin tones willingly showed him attention without any special tricks on his part.

Why was he rebuffed this time? He had no answer to this question. There was so much illogical in her behavior that when he thought about it, he could not connect one with the other, only his head ached more and more.


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