destiny

     did you happen to notice that all people believe in something we call destiny?

     somehow, among 7 billion people you ended up in this very place, doing the very this thing, and either you're happy or not, deep in your mind you're sure this is how it's supposed to be. you're unable to imagine a different path, and since our favourite "what if" remains a mystery forever, it may be easier for us to deal with all crap coming on and on by thinking that it's right. by thinking there is no other way of doing it. and till this very moment I believed it too. that every friendship was necessary for me to learn something, that every guy I've dated gave me a lesson to help me understand what I really want, and all my childhood troubles were there for me to understand what kind of family I want — what kind of family is RIGHT for me. these "rights" and "wrongs" almost tore me apart.

     so I'm sitting here, with my head full of judgement about "rights" and "wrongs", absolutely convinced I'm at the place where I'm supposed to be.

     but the thing is that I am not. and you are not. we're not supposed to anything. we end up in places where our dreams and wishes led us to. and if we stop loving it, then we need to stand up and walk right through the door, that's been gazing at us all this awful afternoon and maybe even longer. and once you set up your mind to something new — you'll end up someplace else.


     and that is how it's really supposed to be.