Corner me!

"Corner me! I need to be cornered. I need to see clearly. By not cornering me, you are increasing my disease".

KAMA, part IV


PREFACE

I wonder Will we ever understand each other.  Or will all this be just futile in the end and we just die without achieving anything.

hm... I don't have problem with it, means I'm satisfied with the way I understand you and your "YO" in the morning was a very nice surprise ;
 
Why not? Everything in life should mean something, right?

what do you want to achieve?

Well, we will all stand before God one day.  I should at least have something to show as an achievement. That i haven't just spent my valuable life on frivolous things.

ok, but how is it connected to me? my achievement depends on me only ; not on others

I'm talking about me

ok, so go and do your things... ; I'm not keeping you. GOOD NIGHT

That's not what i mean

I know...

Stop being so negative all the time

you want some sense in our 'friendship', I am calm about it cause it's fine for me...

Sometimes i just wonder what have we achieved so far after so many years.  You at least wrote a book out of it and are now rich because of it

no, I'm not rich because of the book at all, I'm rich because I have a wonderful life
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX





Well, let's discuss ... I can't leave your questions unanswered.

Do you want to understand the meaning of our relationship and what we have achieved in them over the years?

I'll start with the question: you have a mother... have a wife... have children... have relatives... have friends... what is the point of your relationship with them? and what have you achieved or want to achieve in THAT relationship?

Doesn't that sound funny to you? or even stupid? Or does the demand for meaning and achievement only apply to our relationship with you? Then the next question is: why? what is so special about them?

I can answer these questions - for myself. You have to find own answers.
The search for meaning and answers to such questions cannot be borrowed from someone. Then what am I doing now? Do you remember how you asked once: "Corner me! I want to be cornered! I want to see clearly!" Here, I'm trying to help you see clearly: either you are looking for meaning in our relationship by analogy with other "chains" in your life... or you are trying honestly to answer yourself the question: why is our relationship so special?

In general, the meaning of life phenomena is within the following categories: pleasure; training; test. And at the same time, it is not at all necessary that some phenomenon, person or relationship falls under only one category. There can be two or all three.

My answer for myself: you are interesting to me. By my standards, we have a good, warm, trusting and deep relationship. You like to talk to me, and I like to talk to you. We can discuss whatever we want, we have no closed topics. With you I feel as myself, I do not need to "adapt to the level" of the interlocutor, because we talk to each other on equal terms.

And this is the main thing that attracts me to you. Intelligence. Sincerity. Openness. This is your uniqueness. In my life there is no such second "alter ego" as you. And all of the above fits perfectly into the "friendship" category. I do not need to "achieve" anything, we have ALREADY achieved: this unique and wonderful relationship is given to us as a GIFT from above ... or as a result of tremendous work to overcome all barriers sometime in the past (I mean past lives or pre-existence - we don't remember anything, but the result is there).

What sense or what achievements do you want, besides the ones I have listed?

Although... why to pretend? We both know... But I don't want that anymore. When you appeared in my life, my heart was free. Now my heart is busy, and yours is busy as well. You just have to come to terms with it and accept the situation, as I do.

Somewhere in the depths of your soul you are haunted by the thought: why did what was and remains only a dream for you become reality for another one? why did he manage, but you did not? .. because he did not dream, did not wait, did not seek meaning, but acted! Because he wanted to be with me and he had the determination to go all the way.

The ability to wait is the power of the feminine principle. The ability to act is the strength of the masculine principle. I've got enough femininity ... I needed a man.

Another side of the truth: we were very close with him, the connection was strong... still not to break... but to accept me completely and understand me as you do, he has not yet been able to.

But I wait and hope! :)

"Hurricane", Excerpt 7.