The story of my size

I still remembered the path He used to walk on. I remembered the unique smell of His perfume, the fragrance of  Deep Waters, and the happiness of His big hand holding mine. Eternal pathways are now so hard to find, though in those glorious days walking on them was like breathing. Who'd think it could ever be like this.
I came there alone, led by a mysterious feeling that I would find what I need. What it was - I myself did not know. I left my mantle hanging in the closet, just in case. No one was supposed to know where I was. And of course no one there should guess I'm His daughter.
Everything seemed so different now. A big brown bird the size of a heron came up with a shriek from almost under my feet, I halted and shrieked back. However, its soft feathers swept across my face as if trying to comfort, and the next thing I saw were the bird's long legs moving away from me in the air, as it was swiftly mounting up the dull indifferent sky. What was that about? Why hadn't I noticed it before: those high, distant and inevitable skies  were looking down on me with silent contempt, as if saying: “Rest assured, we always knew you were going to fail”?
I decided to go on exploring the old familiar places that have become so new. How much time passed I couldn't tell, before another strange thing happened to me. A creature, let's say a human being much below normal size, waved at me from a tree branch where he was peacefully sitting enjoying his meal, something that looked like a sandwich that was just enormous for him. Maybe it was the dim evening light that caused him to appear smaller? His little crooked legs in turquoise velvet pants embracing the branch straightened as he choked on the sandwich and started coughing viciously. Then he rolled down the tree.
- Want some? - he asked gasping for breath, stretching out his tiny hand with the half-eaten tuna sandwich.
As he stood next to me - he was up to my waist - I realized that after all, he was  not exactly a human being.
- No, thank you, - I answered, trying not to stare too inquisitively at the funny creature.
- Where are your manners - staring at me like that?! Haven't you ever seen a dwarf?
He seemed to be reading my thoughts. To my further surprise my new acquaintance told me in a low voice to follow him. I could see he was on guard, constantly looking to his sides and behind his back. Then, in a little cave the size of a dog-house, in a loud whisper he told me his sad story.  I was the sign he had been waiting for three hundred and ninety-five years! He explained that he wasn't always that small, but a long-long time ago a mean magician had turned him into a dwarf. The sign predicting the breaking of that spell would be meeting a girl who thought of herself lower than he did, at the time. As the little man spoke he started growing in size right before my eyes.
I stood with my mouth wide open, lost for words. I  looked at myself and in my mind I saw the picture of a louse crawling across someone's head, fighting its way through a jungle of  thick tall hairs. It was disgusting and yet so unreal that I just began to laugh.
- No, that's not me! It can't possibly be me. 
Then I stopped. At the cave entrance appeared a huge brown eye. Its eyelids were blinking and were as thick as ropes. The black pupil of the eye moved to and fro as it searched the inside of the cave and stopped at me. For some reason this occurrence did not scare me. Everything felt as if it was going the way it was supposed to be. It even looked like the eye belonged to someone's smiling face. Then he (or it) removed itself from the cave and the shadow of this creature darkened the entire space around it. I dared to peep out. All I could see was a very high mountain cliff. And the thought: I bet it was not there before! 
I felt an urge to climb that rock. I just had to find out what was there at the top. So I simply rolled up my sleeves and started climbing. It wasn't easy, and several times I nearly fell off. It reminded me of the mountain-climbing classes I took during my student years. I was never too good at it, and after a couple of months, embarrassed at the possibility of failing the first test, I decided to quit.
The main thing was to keep going up, I thought. So I did. The climb was almost vertical, with prominent parts of rock to hold on to and luckily, one ledge after another, until I could catch my breath and rest a minute on a narrow terrace. Sweat was streaming down my face, at times itchy, and I was annoyed that I couldn't take my hands off the rock to wipe it. 
Finally I reached the part of the slope that was not as steep and was covered with some unknown bushy plants. That's good for a change, I thought as I made my way further up the slightly sloping surface, until I finally came to the place where the top of the mountain was nearly flat. Here the thicker trees grew so tall I couldn't see their crowns among the white mist that I suddenly recognised to be clouds. I realised I must be very high, but instead of alpine meadows, here I found a real jungle.  It felt at home in that place, and a deep sense of satisfaction came over me: I made it to the top!
 I grabbed something that looked like a rope hanging off a tree and started swinging. 
- Woo- hoo! I am Tarzan! Oh what fun it is to swing!... - I shouted daringly as I flew through the air. 
I grabbed another liana and swung on it, then another one, flying from tree to tree, with boldness I'd never known before. My mind refused to search for a logical explanation of the happening. I was enjoying myself with my whole being, my every cell came alive and was vibrating with life! Then - oops!
The green plant slipped out of my hands and off the mountain I went! I expected to soar like a bird, and at first I did, following the momentum of my swinging, but then I turned in the air and started falling really fast, into what seemed to be a sea washing the foot of the mountain. Whatever the reservoir was, it must have been on the other side of the cliff I climbed, because it wasn't there before.
- I object! - was my last shout before I hit the water.
Again no fear, no panic, as if it were all a game. 
“Now I'm a diver! Wow!” The water felt cool and brisk. I was starting to enjoy my unpredictable journey more and more. I came up to the surface, took a deep breath and dove in again. I had always just loved swimming. With long confident strokes I was crossing the sea. Or was it a big lake? I tasted the water to find it was salty, even bitter. The vast surface must have been a sea, with no shores in sight, its water so invigorating that to my surprise, I was not getting tired. With every stroke more and more strength was flowing into my body and soul from some invisible source. It was a sweet kind of strength and it was making me alive again! In a distance I saw an island  and as I started swimming  towards it, it was coming closer with a supernatural speed. For some reason, it was also getting smaller! A seagull crossing the sky shouted “Rey! Rey!” I noticed as it approached me, its size was that of a sparrow! And then I understood. With every move, every stroke I was getting bigger! Finally I could stand on the bottom of the sea and cover the island with the palm of my hand! 

I looked back at my mountain and... guess what? It was no mountain at all! It was Him!!! Oh. What have I climbed? Right across His chin, His nose and His cheeks! He was smiling at me. Our eyes met. I felt so proud of myself: “ I did it! I climbed the very face of the One I sought! Getting lost in the jungle of His hair was not for me now! I am BIG.” The sense of greatness and power was overwhelming. I could do anything – just anything!
I decided to swim some more and to see what happens. I kept growing bigger until it was too hard to swim, the sea was too shallow for me now. Then I stopped and froze. I couldn't move a bit! 
What's the matter with me, I thought as I struggled to turn my head, only to see trees grow on the elbow that was sticking out of the water, as well as on my side where it rose above the surface. On the island of my elbow tiny little people were docking their boats, building a pier and starting to settle in! No way! Not on me! You little lice-like creatures, get off!!!  I wanted to shake them off but I still couldn't move a finger. I was completely stuck. So that's what islands were. Now I knew. Tall mountains covered by water.
 
After several attempts to get rid of my lice-like inhabitants I heard a soft chuckle in a distance. Oh, how could I forget about Him so fast? His face was as kind as ever, smiling and bidding me to come to Him. As I turned to Him I found I wasn't stuck any more! I was able to move again, only this time in His direction! The tiny people and their docks were left in the water far behind, but I could see them floating on its surface. I hoped nobody had drowned because of me. They will soon find themselves another island, I thought.
This time I was getting smaller with every stroke, and I'm telling you, was I glad! When I made it to His face it was my mountain again, so real and now so familiar. I lifted my head up and said:
- You are the Greatest!  Thank You... for letting me find You again. I love You!
- I love you more! You've found yourself, daughter.  And don't forget: your size matters.
I looked up. The sky was the same sky. But this time its message came to me in undistorted truth: He is proud of me, and it's OK to be small, as long as He is big. The contempt, mocking and humiliation were all dispersed like a cloud, and I realised they were never there, just the fog in my head. I couldn't help smiling at this profound revelation. The high, approving and gentle skies smiled back at me.