Art of Small Talk - Communication Skills

People admire those who feel comfortable in an unfamiliar social situation like a new job, country, or party, and who can make friends and assimilate or integrate into the community quickly. These people have what is often called ‘the gift of small talk.’

Small talk is a brief pleasant conversation about common interests, but nowadays it is an essential business tool. Secretaries and personal assistants should be skillful in making small talk to make visitors feel comfortable, tourist guides use it to keep tourists in good spirits and entertained, and negotiators use it to ‘break the ice.’

Do not underestimate the value of ‘small talk’ skills. It is an important confidence and relationship-building tool. The skill to make effective small talk can help people build and maintain productive relationships with colleagues, keep updated on what’s going on in the company, develop mutual understanding with the boss and help get promoted.

Small talk is an important ingredient of networking, which is vital in business. We often learn from other people’s experience faster than we can learn from books. People who undervalue the importance of ’small talk’ skills are often considered non-communicative, not confident and unfriendly. Anyone can develop this useful skill and like any other acquired skill, it can be learned, improved and mastered.

Smile.
How can you ‘break the ice’? Smiling indicates that you are friendly. Small talk is usually not about exchanging important information but helps to establish mutual understanding and to ‘get on the same wavelength,’ so it is better to start with a simple issue. You don’t have to be impressive.

Keep it simple.
Try to switch a conversation into something of mutual interest. Ask simple questions. Weekends, vacations, hobbies, children and food are probably the most common topics. Avoid slang and complex, rarely used expressions which can create confusion, because another person might misunderstand or misinterpret them.

Act confidently and naturally.
Notice another person’s facial expressions and body language. Be ready to make an excuse and leave, if you see that a person is too busy or is not in the right mood, Do not take it personally if you did not get the response you expected.

Be attentive. People like to be listened to.
Listen and demonstrate your interest by maintaining eye-contact and feedback. Looking around the room while they are talking to you is a sign of disrespect and it can insult a person. Try to listen more than you talk but have something interesting to contribute to the conversation. Resist the inner temptation to display your own special brilliance unless you are sure that the other person is interested. If you find something attractive about a person’s clothes, make a genuine compliment.

Accept a business card with respect.
Show that the card is valued. Accepting a business card normally does not oblige you to anything. On the other hand it may turn out that this is a useful contact for you or some of your friends in the future. Do not reject a card or say, ‘I don’t think I’ll need that.’

Keep it light.
Avoid going too deep into a discussion about unpleasant topics like illnesses or other people’s behavior. By all means avoid controversial topics like politics and religion. If a person has a different opinion it potentially can ruin a conversation or turn it into an argument or a fight. Be tolerant and avoid embarrassing a person with inappropriate remarks like: ‘I had a feeling it would fail,’ if a person shares his problems in relationships, marriage and family with you.

Keep it brief and sweet.
Thank a person for his or her time, make an excuse and leave before you make another person tired or bored. Don’t expect that all small talk will be perfect and inspiring but generally the more you try the better you will get.


Vocabulary

small talk  -  короткая беседа (о том о сем)
to admire  -  восторгаться
unfamiliar  -  незнакомый
to make friends  -  заводить друзей
assimilate  -  ассимилировать, ‘вписаться в коллектив’
gift  -  дар
conversation  -  разговор
common interest  -  общий интерес
nowadays  -  на сегодняшний день
essential  -  существенный
tool  -  инструмент
personal assistant  -  помощник руководителя
to be in good spirits  -  быть в хорошем расположении духа
to entertain  -  развлекать
negotiator  -  человек, ведущий переговоры
to ’break the ice’  -  включиться (в работу)
to underestimate  -  недооценивать
value  -  ценность
to maintain  -  поддерживать
to updated  -  обновлять информацию, информировать
mutual understanding  -  взаимопонимание
to get promoted  -  быть продвинутым (по службе)
vital  -  жизненно важный
experience  -  опыт
to acquire  -  приобретать
to improve  -  улучшать
to master  -  овладеть
to indicate  -  указывать
to establish  -  устанавливать, учреждать
to get on the same wavelength  -  ‘настроиться на волну’
impressive  -  впечатляющий
open-ended question  -  вопрос, предполагающий более информативный ответ, чем ‘да’ или ‘нет’
Keep it simple.  -  Будь проще.
complex  -  сложный
confusion  -  замешательство, неловкость
to misinterpret  -  неверно интерпретировать
to value  -  ценить
facial expression  -  выражение лица
mood  -  настроение
excuse  -  благовидный предлог
to leave  -  удаляться
take something personally  -  принимать что-то на свой счет
response  -  реакция
to expect  -  ожидать
feedback  -  обратная связь
looking around the room  -  блуждание глазами по комнате
insult  -  оскорбление
to contribute  -  вносить вклад
to resist  -  сопротивляться
temptation  -  соблазн
to display  -  выставлять на показ
special  -  особый
brilliance  -  привлекательное качество (характера)
unless  -  если только не
attractive  -  привлекательный
genuine  -  искренний
to accept  -  принимать
to oblige  -  обязывать
to turn out  -  оказываться
to reject  -  отвергать
Keep it light.  -  Не грузи.
to avoid  -  избегать
illness  -  заболевание
By all means...  -  Во что бы то ни стало…
controversial  -   противоречивый
to ruin  -  разрушать
to turn into  -  превращаться
argument  -  спор
to embarrass  -  ставить в неудобное положение
inappropriate  -  неуместный
remark  -  замечание
share  -  делиться
brief  -  краткий
Keep it brief.  -  Не затягивай.
perfect  -  идеальный
inspiring  -  вдохновляющий

Alex Kritskiy, a private English teacher, Ph.D., 38-067-391-76-62