A tutorial of a writer s success. Chapter 12

http://proza.ru/2021/03/04/382 A tutorial of a writer s success. Chapter 1. http://proza.ru/2021/03/04/382
http://proza.ru/2021/03/09/1868 A tutorial of a writer s success. Chapter 2.  http://proza.ru/2021/03/09/1868
http://proza.ru/2021/03/15/256 A tutorial of a writer s success. Chapter 3.  http://proza.ru/2021/03/15/256
http://proza.ru/2021/03/16/302 A tutorial of a writer s success. Chapter 4.  http://proza.ru/2021/03/16/302
http://proza.ru/2021/03/17/214 A tutorial of a writer s success. Chapter 5.  http://proza.ru/2021/03/17/214
http://proza.ru/2021/03/21/621 A tutorial of a writer s success. Chapter 6. http://proza.ru/2021/03/21/621
http://proza.ru/2021/03/24/573 A tutorial of a writer s success. Chapter 7. http://proza.ru/2021/03/24/573
http://proza.ru/2021/03/26/295 A tutorial of a writer s success. Chapter 8.  http://proza.ru/2021/03/26/295
http://proza.ru/2021/04/01/574 A tutorial of a writer s success. Chapter 9.  http://proza.ru/2021/04/01/574
http://proza.ru/2021/05/08/1300 A tutorial of a writer s success. Chapter 10.  http://proza.ru/2021/05/08/1300
http://proza.ru/2021/05/17/1365 A tutorial of a writer s success. Chapter 11.  http://proza.ru/2021/05/17/1365



Chapter 12. Looking at kopecks, do not lose sight of rubles

If we talk about the emotional side of marriage, then, as one of the writers wisely put it, "it's (inner) family matter."

Apparently, a relationship in marriage do not lend well to outside analysis.

As for the financial side, in many information sources there is a topic of frugality, maybe excessive, of Heinrich Schliemann.

What can I say on this topic? There are situations where everyone is right in their own way. If we talk about Heinrich Schliemann, then he was responsible for the discovery of Troy, which at the time of the beginning of the first and the beginning of the second marriage had not yet taken place. The duration of the excavation, the level and period of the upcoming expenses - all this was in question.

"Enormous sums", "untold riches" - these are all very relative concepts.

Ekaterina Lyzhina-Schliemann in one of her letters (from St. Petersburg) to own husband in 1864 describes the situation: “Imagine that Sidorov, having arrived here, brought [had in his disposal] about 100,000 [rubles], of this amount remained with him about 2,000 [rubles], he distributed the rest [money] back and forth [in different directions]” [Шлиман Е., Письма. С. 178] [Schliemann E., Letters. P. 178].

The phenomenon described by Ekaterina was not a secret for Henry, as evidenced, for example, by his words: "Money for buying oysters and champagne, money losing at cards, flies in hundreds of thousands out of people's pockets and rewards them with diseases and insomnia" [Богданов И. А., 2008 а. С. 170] [Bogdanov I. A., 2008 a. P. 170].

In Ekaterina's letters, there are also references to people of her circle, who were wealthy at first, but then found themselves in a critical financial situation.

Heinrich Schliemann did not need to look for such examples; he received numerous requests for financial assistance.

Ekaterina was guaranteed [was protected] from falling into a catastrophic material situation - and precisely thanks to the policy of frugality that Heinrich pursued. Perhaps, when writing the lines quoted above, Ekaterina thought that the thrifty Heinrich was not so wrong. 

On the other hand, both the first marriage and the second marriage of Heinrich Schliemann took place in situation when the rumor was ahead, overtook, was running ahead of a successful and rich merchant.

In such a situation, the marriage was preceded by certain financial expectations.

The frustrations that arise are transformed into negative emotions.

Concerning the topic of allocation of funds by her husband, Ekaterina wrote in a letter dated August 21, 1853: “You won't even achieve any savings by doing this. In all Your behavior there is so much petty, empty; you look at the kopecks [you worry about  kopecks], and you lose sight of the rubles; this is a bad calculation ... "[Богданов И. А., 2008 а. С. 48] [Bogdanov I. A., 2008 a. P. 48].

With a great degree of convention, two groups of persons can be distinguished: (a) those about whom it is reliably known that they received financial assistance, support, funds from Heinrich Schliemann; (b) those who turned to Heinrich Schliemann for financial support, but it is not known whether it was provided. (The appeal has been preserved, but there is no information about the reaction to it).

Both the first and the second wife of Heinrich Schliemann belonged to the first group. They may have experienced financial difficulties due to the fact that the periods of spending did not coincide with the periods of receipt of money (from him), but they never experienced an absence of financial means.

I suppose that the difference between the concepts of "financial difficulties" and "absence of financial means" is generally understandable.

Sophia, Heinrich Schliemann's second wife, apparently tried to adapt to his policy of thrift. Her husband's remarks about the need to have breakfast (to save money), not in a hotel, but “somewhere in the neighborhood” (“let the fools and madmen spend seven francs on breakfast, and you may spend one and a half or two ” [Богданов И. А., 2008 б. С. 229] [Bogdanov I. A., 2008 b. P. 229]) - she, may be, perceived it philosophically.

Most likely, she, like her husband, developed the art of normalization and of improvement intra-family relations.

However, the very history of the second marriage directly testifies to financial expectations.

As the family life of Heinrich Schliemann showed in both first and second marriages, family peace also costs money. And the wrong (insufficient) level of investment in this good turns into large emotional and material costs.

In the second marriage, the situation was eased by the fact that after the start of the marriage, the "treasures of Troy" were found, the excavations were executed, and Heinrich Schliemann could breathe a sigh of relief.

It is understandable that by the time Heinrich Schliemann entered both the first and the second marriages, the future wife and her family had significant preliminary financial expectations.

The question is, to what extent was the formation of these expectations the result of the conscious efforts of Heinrich Schliemann?

A rumor is able to run ahead of a person. Can the emergence of these expectations be blamed on Heinrich Schliemann?

At some point, one of the relatives on the part of the wife could have a feeling that these expectations were not met, that the expectations were deceived.

I find it difficult to determine the prevalence of the practice of marriage contracts in the second half of the 19th century. Heinrich Schliemann both times entered into a church marriage, he went through the church wedding ceremonies ...

Nevertheless, Heinrich Schliemann and Sofia's father signed a notarized agreement that neither Sofia nor her family would claim the fortune of Heinrich Schliemann, unless that issue was directly will be stipulated in his will [Вандерберг. С. 243] [Vanderberg. P. 243]. This action can be assessed as a step towards a marriage contract.

In any case, a marriage contract, while not being a romantic thing, can help avoid disappointment from unfulfilled, unrealized expectations. In some cases, he creates the right mood and forms more distinct plans.

Getting acquainted with the experience of family relations Heinrich Schliemann, I formulated the following rules of success:

1) In the list of priorities, move family relationships closer to the first position (or put them in first place);

2) Looking at the kopecks, do not lose sight of the rubles (the wording of Ekaterina, the first wife of Heinrich Schliemann ). (A family peace have their own price);

3) Invest in a family peace, in a family relationships (not overlooking the principles of timeliness and sufficiency);

4) Consider concluding a marriage contract.

I decided to summarize this difficult topic with the words: “A wife of noble character who can find?  She is worth far more than rubies ...” (Proverbs 31:10).