Lets buy two

That evening, she was wearing jeans, Amir was so fond of, a black T-shirt that fitted Natalie's slender figure, contrasting with her, albeit tanned, but still very light skin. She looked infinitely happy and carefree, and there were sparks in her eyes.

They walked along the cool transitions of the pier as if along shady alleys, catching their reflection in numerous shop windows and mirrors. How wonderful they looked together - exactly as one whole, consisting of two harmonious and proportional parts.

Natalie walked to the beat of the music, the mood was such that, it seemed, a little more - and she would start dancing, spinning on the slippery patterned floor, as if specially created for dancing... yes, she would have started spinning, if not for the fear of shock Amir. He calmly walked beside her, holding her hand, and clearly did not suspect about her "dangerous" intentions.

When they passed a children's clothing store, where pretty tiny hats, blouses, overalls and other babies' things in delicate pastel colors were hung in the window, Amir involuntarily slowed down and fixed his eyes on them. In recent days, he thought about children, about the baby that Natalie could give him... He involuntarily squeezed her hand a bit.

- Let’s buy a baby! - she immediately responded. - Let’s buy two: a boy for me and a girl for you!

Amir nodded, smiling, a little embarrassed by his sentimentality and the fact that she could easily read his mind.

And he also thought how difficult everything in the relationship is: at first, in order to keep her, he lied that he wanted a child, and she believed. Now he confessed to her that he had lied then, she believed again, but this again turned out to be untrue, because now, after days and nights spent together, he also wanted this child, one or two, as many as God will give them, the main thing is that there will be something that unites them forever - the fruit of their love, the material expression of their unity.

novel "Natalie: The Art of Living"


Рецензии
as many as God will give them
As many as God WOULD give them. Maybe ?
Your punctuation is kinda strange and sentences rather long, but I get it.

Алексей Коротяев   26.09.2021 19:01     Заявить о нарушении
no, WILL, grammatically correct, because it's inner thought of a person, giving in such a way (not like direct speech, but by meaning it's a kind of 'direct', going in the moment).

as about punctuation - good it's understandable, as they say there is 'author's punctuation' :)

Sentences could be long, why not? it should convey thoughts, the main point, right?

thanks for opinion and feedback but you may read the same chapter in Russian, English variant is here for the readers who don't know Russian.

Надя Бирру   26.09.2021 19:23   Заявить о нарушении
What I mean is that the main point can easily get lost in overly long sentence. It can be applied to any language.
I liked the story though.

Алексей Коротяев   26.09.2021 21:51   Заявить о нарушении
well, Aleksei, your thought was clear even without explanations... but every writer (I mean writer :) ) has own style. So this is mine, ok? :)

thanks once again!

Надя Бирру   26.09.2021 21:56   Заявить о нарушении