Mealeasalia

The desolate road was winding among the bare and lifeless fields. Silence, which I grew accustomed to, seemed to have stopped pressing on my ears. Sounds of chirping birds, rattling grasshoppers, and rustling grasses remained in the past. As well as my earlier life. The world was dying, and for more than a week, I have been dying together with it.

A couple of people appeared from behind the road turn. Noiselessly, as though sliding in the air. They walked towards me. I stopped and watched them. I tried to understand, – their steps were noiseless! Whereas my own worn out, but still firm, boots clattered in the silence as if they had horseshoes on them. I stood and waited. The strangers kept approaching.

As though from nowhere. The strange couple, they were slowly walking along the black rural way. They seemed as if they were together and at the same time each on one’s own. She was ahead; he kept behind her. A woman or a girl? It was hard to figure out... There was something unusual in her look, but I could not get what it was. He was a strong man, with muscles prominent under his clothes and broad shoulders, but he was not tall though. Eh, anyway… He was stumpy, sturdy and seemed to be quite dangerous...

Are these predators again? What else can they be? – thought I. – There are no people left. Only predators sometimes show up from the twilight to attack a tortured, dying soul.

Predators have similar eyes – small, spiteful and searching. You feel their gaze distantly; it burns through your moaning soul, digs into it and squeezes your life out of your body... Then you get mad… and attack them with curses. Losing your human face, you turn into a wild beast, – ready to crush and kill, – and, finally, make the monster flee. Predators that squeeze out the last droplets of your strength are dangerous, but cowardly...

No, she did not look as a predator. But she was a strange creature anyway. She seemed to be not walking, but floating above the earth. And he… There was neither searching, nor petty malice or cowardice in his eyes. No, he was not a predator. But if they were people, their steps should have been heard... And she... The closer she comes, the more blurred her figure becomes. What a weird thing, so weird...

Then I saw it. A path. They were walking along the hardly visible silvery path. It appeared right under their feet and faded in the air behind them. I could not see her feet, but his were quite visible. Large, a bit in-toed, in firm peasants' boots. They sank into that silvery path without any noise.

I stood and waited. They were treading straight up to me along the magic path that floated above the ground. The man and the woman. Beauty and the Beast, if I could see her face and mentally disfigure his.

He was not ugly. In any case, he was no plainer than any usual village fellow. A week ago there was plenty of folks like that – simple people who lived without ceremonies. Irreplaceable toilers or soldiers, not very clever, but reliable and sometimes dangerous. They had broad faces, stubborn looks from under bushy eyebrows and strong fists. There was plenty of them before… But I have not seen anyone like that since the world has got crashed…

She... She was already a few steps away from me, and I did not see her face. More precisely, my eyes could catch neither the woman's face features nor her figure. I could neither secure the image of the unknown woman in my consciousness nor give it a certain shape. I could only feel that she was beautiful, but my eyes failed to confirm it. With her image blurring with some colorful spots, I saw her as a hardly perceptible phantom.
They had already approached quite close to me. I stood on the road and waited.

Ten steps, seven, five... My heart for some reason started beating loud in my chest. I wished to understand why I could not see the unknown woman's face. I again threw a swift look at her fellow traveler and my fists clenched. What if they are predators? – my inner voice whispered. – If I let them come too near, I won't be able to run away. I've got too little strength left. I've spent so much of it...

Can it be Death? – I thought with some fatigue and aloofness that replaced the fear. – I have to run, again run...

Yet, I felt as if my legs rooted themselves into the ground. Into that very ground covered with the black dust above which in several seconds the silvery magic path would spread out and She would pass by me... Indiscernible, perhaps, intangible, or maybe, non-existent... And the death would come, – uninvited, but long-expected death with the gift of peace... Death.

The world was dying, and it was my turn to share the fate of those, who used to live here before and had already gone. Anyway, I stayed here the longest. What for? Why?

So many sleepless nights I tormented myself with that question. While turning from side to side trying to fall asleep I asked myself again and again. Why?

My stomach refused to digest those deprived of any moisture pieces of wood, which I tried to eat to get rid of my hunger. It was aching demanding some normal food and water. I lied on the bare ground and gazed at the dark sky, where the stars used to sparkle once. I tried to figure out – why? Why did it happen to me and why am I still alive, when everybody has already died? Everybody, except predators...
Four steps, three... My heart seemed to be beating somewhere in my ears. I gazed at the blurred image of the unknown woman and at the same time kept her fellow traveler in focus. What will happen when she touches me? How will it be?

Two steps, one... At the last moment, I shut my eyes. The seconds flew away; the silence and the darkness reined in my mind. Only my eyelashes quivered and trembling soul longed for peace. Silence...

– Poor, faithful dog... – her melodious voice with that unexpected and even as if tangible kindness reached my consciousness and caressed it with love...

So, it is like that – to die... No pain at all, only the waves of the kind and loving voice in the darkness. Only tenderness felt in the heart and soul...

My punched through soul, devastated and scooped out, was full of love in a second. Full to its bleeding edges, which had only attracted new predators.

I opened my eyes expecting to see...

I guess, I expected to see the Paradise. Because, where else can one experience the things I have just felt?

But... the reality played its games again disappointing me more and more...

The world has not changed. I have neither died nor got into the Paradise. I stood in the middle of the road remaining on the way of the strange couple. The indiscernible woman-phantom stood in front of me and the man was in several meters away. Their feet sank into the ephemeral silvery roadbed. Its end was several inches away from my boots.

I kept living, the world around me kept dying, and incomprehensible kept happening to me.

Then She passed through me, and those several seconds when we were one I saw the paradise. The world became beautiful again. Birds skipped over branches in the green crowns of trees and the wind stirred golden fields of wheat. I felt the odor of summer meadow. It merged with both the flavors of the mown grass, wildflowers and the rising smoke of the fire made by children. And the air was full of sounds of the alive and triumphing nature. Insects buzzed, birds chirped and tree leaves rustled in the wind.

I wished she had remained inside me...

When the world again became dead, I saw her fellow traveler quite close. He did not even give me a glance; he went round me and only slightly touched my sleeve. As though I did not exist at all. They were going away. I stood on the road looking at their backs and desperately regretted that they had not called me to join them. The woman-phantom was walking away, and her silent companion was following her.

I watched them leaving.

Feeling arrogant, uninvited and unneeded, I hopelessly shut my eyes. I did not want to see. Let it be several seconds more, but I would not see that would ultimately put me down on that burnt earth. I would not see that dirty dusty road that only such survivors like me walk along and... predators.

I opened my eyes and looked downwards.

The soles of my battered on the roads boots were sinking in the silvery roadbed.

The path had not disappeared! It was spreading out in front of me, leading into the distance. There, where the woman-phantom and her companion-human being were heading. The silvery way was still joining me with them!

I dashed forward. The only thing I was afraid of while running was losing the way. That path, which connected me with them! That thread that She left for me as a gift! What for? Why? Who was She? I did not know. I kept running.
***

She walked ahead, and we followed her in silence. Predators kept emerging from the twilight as before. Their eyes would search and find, but their petty souls got scared making them keep distance. Predators hesitated to step on the Path. They would follow us for a while, moving as shadows in the short distance from the verge of the path. Then they would disappear again, dissolving into the gathering darkness.

We kept walking without any stops or talks. My strength began surprisingly growing. My exhausted muscles felt recovering; my soul purifying and healing its ragged sore.

When it got dark, She halted. I threw an inquiring glance at Her fellow traveler and for the first time I heard his voice.

– Night. At nights, She creates magic dreams.

She was the same illusory, indistinct and only perceived as being beautiful. She soared above the ground and winded us around with a magic band creating a new universe.

The world started changing right before our eyes. She danced in the space and we enjoyed the sense of beauty, security and the paradise She drew for us.
***
A nice, light room gave us coziness, cleanness and warmth. The dining table burdened with delicacies. The smell of the roasted meat pleasantly tickled my nostrils. Her companion sat opposite me devouring a large piece of meat on a bone with a great appetite. His face shone with both pleasure and the meat grease, but I did not feel any loathing. I was eating, and felt both happy and generous.

It was warm, cozy, and tasty... Neither painful nor scary. There were neither predators, nor recollections... Neither recollections, nor predators... It was happiness...

– Who is She? – asked I at length, after I satiated myself.

– Dunno, – my table companion did not seem to be of talkative sort. He did not even throw a glimpse to my side, and went on eating.

– Have you been following Her for long?

– For a couple of days.

– Where are you from?

He looked around, as if searching for a dog, sighed and threw the bone onto the empty plate. The scraps of the meat, which he did not finish, stuck out from the bone. Leisurely, he picked up a beautiful serviette. He first wiped his mouth with it, then his hands, and only after touched the bottle in front of him. The ruby wine, sparkling in the flame of the candles, filled up a tall wineglass. After a few big gulps, he looked straight into my eyes and, finally, replied.

– I am from Virehon. Have you ever heard about it?

– Is it that Virehon that is near Two Streams?

– Exactly. There's never been any other Virehon.

– What's your name?

– Jezhy. And yours?

–Yarotay.

– She takes you for a dog, – he grinned, recollecting the moment we came across first. – And me for a beaver.

I also remembered as She called me a dog. So tenderly, so softly. I, probably, could agree to be called even a dinosaur at that moment, if only that word would sound the same soft way.

– Why? Doesn't She know we are human beings? – I asked suppressing with efforts the recollection about the tender voice.

– Maybe, She doesn't, – answered Jezhy shrugging his shoulders. – Are you sure you are a human being?

I did not reply. I was sure once, not anymore. After all that had happened to me, when everything had gone and all those whom I loved had disappeared... After the attacks of predators I had to protect myself from, I lost my human appearance indeed. Perhaps, She is right, – I am not a human being. I am a wild, embittered dog that did not will either die or turn into a monster.

– And you, can you see Her? – I asked.

– I couldn't before, but now I start seeing Her.

– Really? It's strange... Who is She, after all?

– I wish I knew it.

We fell silent again. I tried hard to comprehend Jezhy's answer. He begins to see Her, why does it happen? Who is changing? He or She?

– Her closeness changes something inside me, – as if answering to my mute question, told Jezhy. – I dunno how to explain it, I only feel it – something is changing. It's strange, all this is very strange... – muttered he.

– Have all the folks you loved disappeared too? – I asked. I did not know how it was in other places.

– Almost. Some of them disappeared, other became soul-eaters. Yeah, too bad...

– Predators?

– How should I know what they are called? When you feel so nasty that don't wish to live, they attack you and squeeze your last strength out! They do it till you yourself turn into a beast. That's what hurts most of all! If someone had told me I would become a victim of some bodiless creatures, I would have never believed it.

– Yeah... The same story. When did it happen at your place?

– What?

­– Well, the end of the world?

– Eh? Well, right after the fire. Everything has been lost... The house that I built with my own hands, barns, sheds, cattle shed, – everything has been lost! There was nothing left, nothing at all...

His callous, firm fingers pressed the fragile wineglass. The glass failed to sustain and cracked. The narrow streams of the wine, merging with the droplets of blood, ran down the sinewy arms. They dropped down on the table and spread about the snow-white tablecloth. With a nervous, angry motion Jezhy cast the glass splinters away onto the floor. Both the remains of the wine and his own blood from his cuts splashed around.

Several seconds passed and his wounds were healed. The glass splinters disappeared, as well as the spots on the tablecloth, as if they had never been there. Jezhy managed his bitter recollections and looked at me again. His angry, offended, but honest eyes of a hard worker glittered from under his bushy eyebrows. His large lips stretched in a bitter, but anyway good-natured, grin.

– Why are you staring at me? It's a magical night-dream, I told you before.

– Are we asleep now?

– Sure!

– But I've been eating! I still remember the taste of the meat!

– So what? You have had your dinner. Later, you'll go to bed and see some other night dream. And in the morning, we are to walk along the Path again. We've nothing else but it.

Afterwards I was alone again. For a moment, I got even scared that my beautiful night dream had ended. I swiftly looked downwards. The soles of my boots were sinking in the silvery roadbed, which was everywhere now. How fortunate!

I looked around and noticed a bed, suddenly realizing how tired I was. It seemed to me that should I only lay my head on the pillow I would fall into a blessed sleep right away. The sleep that grants oblivion.
The bed sheets smelled of jasmine – the favorite flavor of my childhood. My full stomach stopped torturing me with aching pain. My soul that kept on being healed felt grateful for the miracle, but... My mind would not give up…

With the cruelty of a tyrant, it kept restoring in my mind painful recollections. Those memories that like a razor blade had cut my past into the scraps just before the world died...
***
When I woke up, I realized at once that I was walking again. The illusory woman ahead of us and the spreading under our feet Path, – all was there. My yesterday table companion Jezhy was walking on my left side. Immersed in one’s own thoughts, we walked in silence near each other.

My strength kept on growing. Predators showed up less and less frequent, and the world seemed a little changed. We walked through the wood. It was the same dead as yesterday. Yet my eye sometimes with surprise caught the sight of bright spots on the black earth. The blades of new grass, unaware that there was no place for them, fought their way through the dead soil. They grew green despite the surrounding gloom and sadness. Then even once, when I looked through the web of the black tree branches, I spotted a blue flower not far away. A tiny piece of the clear sky on the bare dead earth, – the sky from the past, which did not exist in this dusky world.

Late in the day, two sparrows flew over our heads, chirping loud. Evidently, the same outcasts like us that for some reason survived despite everything. Then, there was something more...

Either my eyes got tired, or used to the image of the woman, but it seemed to me that she became more real. I could not see her face as she walked ahead of me, but her figure became clearer. And even once my astonished eyes caught the sight of her thin fingers brushing away the strand of her hair.

Without any halts, we walked all day.

The night crept nearer.

A girl jumped out of the wood like a wild cat. Her eyes were wide open of despair and fear. She froze on our way ready at any moment to disappear behind the trees again. Her gaze swiftly scanned our faces, detecting if there was any danger. Then she looked again at the leading us woman. I wondered if the girl could not see Her either? Judging by the girl’s bewildered look, our fairy lady was the same indiscernible for her as for us.

Then, as if swept away by the sudden blow of the wind, both her bewilderment and despair were gone. She looked determined. The girl must have decided that it was her end, the same as I did yesterday. The inevitable end you can neither avoid nor escape, because you cannot run eternally. How long has she been struggling? Longer than any of us. She has been surviving in this lifeless world with nothing and nobody left around... Except predators.

She instantly got rid of her despair and fear, and became dazzlingly beautiful. Strong and proud. She straightened her fragile shoulders. Her huge slanting eyes sparkled with bravery and even with some challenge. Five steps, three, two... When there was only a step left, the girl shut her eyes tight. The same as I did yesterday, – I chuckled.

– Poor kitten...

Her voice touched some thin strings of my soul and created the purest music it had ever been capable of.

She passed through the girl the same way as she did with me yesterday.

The girl disappeared for an instant. She merged with the woman and after a moment, she became herself again. Immediately, the feeling of bliss and happiness on her face was swept away by perplexity and pain. We went around the fragile figure. The sleeves of our jackets slightly touched her shoulder. Her bare shoulders showed tender skin; she was quite young...

I did not turn my head back, why should I? I already knew what was there. Disappointment, exhaustion and bitterness. When you are ready to die without any fear, it means that you have drained the overfull cup of your pain. At such moments, you treat death as a deliverance. And there is no limit to your bitterness when you realize that even death has betrayed you.

What choice will this despaired creature make? Will she leave the gift of the Path or follow it? Any choice she makes will be her own.

When the night fell on the dead world, there had been already three of us. Two men and the fragile girl; we kept following our guiding star in silence.

Then again, a magic dance gifted us a blessed night dream.
***
The girl was eating swiftly, struggling to moderate her sudden voracity. Without raising her eyes from her plate she quickly ate the soup. She seemed to swallow her meal without even chewing it properly. After she finally satisfied her hunger, I heard her voice. For the first time for several hours of walking.

– Who are you?

– Human beings, – I answered. I knew she asked about that.

– And She?

– We have no idea.

– She is Mealeasalia, – broke his silence Jezhy.
Tonight he surprisingly did not touch the food. Seated quietly, he stared at the emptiness. His firm, callous fingers fiddled with a hunk of bread to the beat of his jumping thoughts. There was a pile of pinched off bread crumbles on the table in front of him.

– Now I know exactly, – he whispered, – She is Mealeasalia.

– Mealeasalia? The Guiding Star?!

Who nowadays believes in ancient legends? Only children. The little ones you cannot find in this dead world. Because children are like flowers, they do not grow in places without life. However, today I happened to see a flower, a blue one... The color of the sky... The symbol of hope...

– Yes, The Guiding Star, Mealeasalia. – The farmer's hoarse voice, evidently unaccustomed to tenderness, sounded soft.

There was something new shining in Jezhy's eyes. Something that was not there yesterday, but all of a sudden so brightly flared up today. Or, maybe not sudden? Did I look at him yesterday indeed? When while walking next to him all day long I kept recollecting the last memories of my vanished world? Do we ever notice what shines in the eyes of those who share their road with us?

Do you know why it has happened? – the girl's voice drew me out of my thoughts. Now she looked so defenseless and fragile as if an abandoned kitten indeed. The little, helpless, scared and, in spite of everything, trusting one.

– I don't know, – I replied with a sigh; I hoped that she did not notice it.

– I only remember how I ran to the wood and found myself near a tumbledown hut. The door was open. I ran into the hut, saw that there was not any sign of the rear wall and ran further. Then I threw myself down into the grass and sobbed my heart out. After I returned home, everything had already changed. The earth had become black, the sky – gray and my mom and brothers disappeared. There were only some white creatures around. There was something strange about them. They rushed to me, squeezed something luminous out of my chest, – something as ephemeral as She is. It was painful, so much painful.

Perhaps, the girl needed to have her say to get rid of the accumulated stress. She poured out everything she had kept to herself all those days of loneliness and suffering.

– And why did you run to the forest? – I asked with indifference. Only to show that I was listening to her. As Jezhy seemed to have immersed into his visions about the fairy lady Mealeasalia. Besides, her story with predators was almost the same as my own. Nothing interesting.

The girl's cheeks flushed; she dropped her eyelids. Her thin fingers adjusted the strands of her hair on her forehead. Then they started to fiddle with the cutlery on the table. She swallowed nervously and raised her eyes on me, then dropped them and after a few seconds looked at me again. O Lord! There was so much embarrassment, suffering, pain and again embarrassment in her look!

– Jonas was recruited to the army, – she said finally; her voice sounded changed and muffled. – He said he didn't know when he would come back. Before that, we were going to get married.

"Poor child", – I was about to say, but those words remained unspoken. As though they stumbled over some sort of inner insurmountable barrier. Probably, over the indifference and heartlessness. Those stone that captured my soul and turned me into a wild, spiteful dog.

With her head lowered, – perhaps, she wanted to hide her eyes wet with tears, – the girl awkwardly got up from the table and ran off somewhere...

Then, I was on my own again. In a warm bed that scented of jasmine I faced my memories. They were haunting and painful as usual. Yet, that time, for some reason, they became fewer. Presently, the images from my childhood began emerging in my mind. The magic, appealing ones... I used to picture them to the sounds of the soft voice of my mother. When I was a child, she used to lull me with the fairy tales about beautiful Mealeasalia.
***

– I've remembered! – Jezhy's loud cry reached my ears.

I screwed up my face; my thoughts returned to the present.

We were walking along the Path again. She was ahead, and we, as before, were following her. We kept silence until Jezhy remembered.

– I've remembered how it had happened! – He suddenly stopped and pulled my arm, urging me to hear him out. When I saw his eyes, I stopped too without any resistance. I thought it would be better if I let him share his recollections as I didn't want to lag behind Her.

Jezhy grasped the lacing of my jacket, turned me to see my face and started telling his story. He talked excitedly, throwing swift looks to the direction where She and the girl were going.

– When everything has burned down, do you hear me? When I realized, that it was all! That I had nothing left, it was the end! Do you hear me? When I saw, that everything was in vain! I remember, as I got furious. I grabbed an axe and began shattering those few remnants, which had survived the fire. My folks started yelling, but thank God, kept away. Because at that moment, God knows, they could get hurt. Then...

At that moment, he again threw a swift look at the woman-phantom, who was walking away.

Either did I. When I saw how far She and the girl had already gone, I broke out from the peasant's grasping hands and rushed away. I was afraid the Path would disappear if I lag behind Her.
When we got back in the blessed nearness, I changed to a walking pace again. Jezhy recovered his breath and went on with his story.

– I was chopping and destroying the ruins, and then suddenly saw a door, you see? I saw a DOOR! – This time he shouted that word and again tried to turn me to see my face properly. I realized that if I did not reply we would have to catch up again. She never waited for anybody.

– What door did you see, Jezhy? – asked I, releasing myself out of the peasant's strong fingers.

The cracking sound of the sleeve partly torn off my jacket vexed me even more, and I quickened my pace.

– The door! The one, which was among the ruins, safe and sound! It had never been there before! There had never been SUCH door in my house! Do you see what I mean?

I walked a bit ahead of him; Jezhy kept telling his story and trotted behind.

– I rushed to the door with my axe! I broke it through and found myself on the other side! Do you understand it or not? The thing was in that door! It was that door! It was that thing, I say! That damned door!

Jezhy's rustic attempts to attract my attention and the torn off sleeve of my jacket vexed me. It destroyed the precious sense of felicity I felt on the Path. I did not know what direction I was walking to, but I was happy just because I kept going. Happy, because I neither stood still nor spun around on the spot as though a dying, shot to death dog, – but instead, I kept going, even if I did not know where to...

I wanted to wave Jezhy away again when one of his words as if a hook hitched something hidden in the bottom of my memory. It pulled it up, revealed it and broke the ice of my frozen soul. Next moment I returned to the recent past. THE DOOR...
I ran against it by chance. On pacing as delirious, thunderstruck and dispirited, I still could not believe, not willing to...

Kyla, my Kyla... How could you...

We parted many years ago, but she has always lived in my heart... She is mine... She cannot be someone else's. Our souls had merged, despite the fact that we got confused in words and could not find the path back to each other. I knew, she did not get married to another man, but I did not find the courage to find her and beg her to be with me again. What a fool! Cowardly fool! Then someone's lying tongue told me that he had seen Kyla and my best friend Galnis together. My Kyla and my best friend!

He was not just a comrade, he was my friend I was ready to give my life for. He was a precious part of my life, the second closest person after Kyla, and I trusted him as my own self.

I am strong and firm as a cliff. I am not the one to be easily shattered. I take a firm stand, expose my forehead to the winds and storms and survive. I withstand both the elements and people, and my only goal is – to see the sun again.

Only that time everything was different.

Neither Kyla nor Galnis were storms or any other external force. They were not sea waves that would throw themselves onto the coastal rock in a desire to shatter it into pieces. Those waves that take obstacles out of their way when they aim to master the unruly shore.

They were my heart. They existed in the very core, inside the cliff, protected by it from all the elements...

The coastal rock is not afraid of any storms if it is firm and monolithic.

But I stopped being the cliff.

The single dirty gossip shattered me from the inside. One dirty word managed to do the thing, which none of the sworn enemies had managed to succeed in for many years. The rock cracked and broke into tiny parts, losing both itself and its power...

I failed to believe that, but the dastard's words had already stuck in my heart. I was going along the corridor making my way towards the gates out of the castle that had been my home for many years. With all my might I kept my bearing. I tried to hide even from the castle walls the fact that the unruly rock had fallen down and I had already died. I had died at the very moment the mocking mouth pronounced the words that my heart failed to endure.

I thrust it open with my foot. I did not even notice or realize the fact that there had never been THAT door in my castle before. At that very moment, the rock ceased to exist. Destroyed, it finally released the pain suppressed in the depths of the inside.

The whirl that got on the loose needed some movements. I rushed to the freedom, ready to crush everything in my way, but… I found myself in a dead, gloomy world. The castle started falling apart before my eyes. The black dust covered the earth and the bare trees. Some ephemeral creatures with searching eyes started tearing the bleeding wound of my soul...

At that moment, I did not know who they were. I named them predators, because they squeezed something luminous and ephemeral out of my chest and made me shout till I utterly turned into a beast...
***

– It's over there! I see it! – Jezhy's shout as if a lasso pulled me out of my bitter recollections.

I swiftly looked around. She was still sliding ahead of us. Her hair streamed down her flexible back, her long dress enveloped her female figure as if a soft silky wave. The golden hair over the turquoise silk, – never in my life I have seen anything more beautiful than that. Then, with astonishment, I realized that I saw Her.
Our fairy, who gave us the gift of the silvery Path and drew for us magic night-dreams, was sliding ahead of us. Visible and, perhaps, tangible, if I had some courage or insolence to approach and touch Her hair with my hand.

– That's the very thing! That very door! – Jezhy shouted again, pulling my sleeve.

He is insane, – a swift thought promptly occurred in my mind. But when I saw his eyes I reminded myself bitterly, – it seems like we all are the same here.

Over there, where Jezhy pointed out, indeed was a door. It towered up among the burnt ruins fractured with the axe of the raging peasant. If that door had remained safe and sound, I would think it was the same door I had thrust open before the world died.

– She brought me to that door, it was Her – the Guiding Star, Mealeasalia! – Jezhy shouted and grabbed me by the sleeve again. – And we...! I’ve got it! We are on the other side now! The world hasn't died, do you see? This is the world from the other side! I've been recollecting it for the whole night! Well, that legend, the fairy tale, which women scare their children with, do you remember it?

When your soul is hurt with the sudden pain,

Do avoid you the door that looks strange and alien,

Unaware what is hidden behind,

Never cross the threshold, it’s unkind…

No, he did not sing. He rapidly spoke the words of the song. Then, he finally released the sleeve of my jacket and turned his eyes to the approaching door. We kept going and the door towered up above the burnt ruins, getting closer.

The other side of the world! How could I have failed to guess it?! This is not a dead world! This is the world from the other side!

The world on the other side’s dead,

Full of shades of the liars and dastards,

Pure souls there are rare instead,

They are precious stars from the Astral…

That time it was the girl singing. She heard our talk, but it was no wonder. Jezhy shouted so loudly. Surely, every girl knows this song by heart. They all are to become mothers once. And when the time comes, they will tell their children fairy tales, and this one too.

So, does it mean it is not a fairy tale at all? Does the other side world exist indeed? The dead world devoid of love? The world of those who got lost on the crossroads of life? The place of the ones who do not believe in friendship, love and humanity? The world without place for all such things, because all that remained on the light side...

Suddenly, the wave of my own recollection washed up the forgotten words on the shore of my mind. And the memory of my mother's gentle voice as if a stream with fresh water returned me my lost faith.

If your soul is full of love,

You won’t cross the border of worlds,

But if not, Mealeasalia - Guiding Star of the Path,

Will help you to get back home…

That was why there was nobody except predators. I thought that everyone I loved had disappeared. Does it mean that there had never been any end of the world? Does it mean Kyla is alive, as well as the others? Could it be that she still loves me? Even Galnis is not dead either... Perhaps, everything the famous dastard told me had been only one of his false gossip stories! Maybe, Kyla had needed help and Galnis had helped her? He is my best friend after all. Whom else could she trust the same way as she trusted me, if not my friend?

What a fool I was! It was me, who had to be next to her! It was me, who she should trust all her secrets! It is me, who has to care about her and protect her from all misfortunes. It has to be me, – not my friend!

If I ever return home, nothing will prevent me from winning you back, Kyla…

Meanwhile, the door through which Jezhy had got into this world kept approaching. If not Mealeasalia who walked ahead the peasant would run towards it long ago.

The wind swayed the wooden frame in the ruins. The hinges of the broken with the axe door slightly squeaked. There it was, quite near. It was in several meters from the silvery path, along which we kept following the guiding us woman.

– Goodbye, Yarotay, – said Jezhy and looked at me. For the first time I saw a glimpse of happiness in his eyes. – That all don't matter, I got it! – He added promptly. – One can always build a new house! Do you hear me? Always! Only in our world, not in this one – the world from the other side.

Then he jumped. His strong, sturdy peasant legs pushed off from the silvery path. His body soared into the air towards the door that called him home. The door disappeared in the space as soon as the man crossed its threshold and left that dead world for good.

In the distance, among the bare trees there loomed a tumbledown hut without the rear wall. I knew that the girl also saw it. She squared her shoulders again; her body tensed in anticipation. There was something new in the girl's eyes that returned them their beauty... and something else... Wisdom, maybe? Her gaze, full of strength now, was riveted to the door. It was still far, but already quite discernible behind the black tree branches. The door that could return the girl to her family and, of course, to her beloved.

Being happy, I kept following Mealeasalia and felt as strong as a rock again.

I knew – there was my Door waiting for me, the door that would bring me home. There lived my Kyla, – my true soulmate, my own precious Silver Star... I also knew that from that moment, nobody would be able to tear my soul to pieces again. And that the door to the world from the other side would never rise before my eyes either. Why? I had already crossed its threshold once and would never do it again. And now I know – no matter how hard the life in your own world is, the world from the other side is much worse. Only the light of your love saved in your heart can find the reflection of your own precious star in the Heaven and give you Hope that would show you the way to yor own home…

Soon the girl disappeared within the door of the tumbledown hut. Then, the strange door of my castle rose ahead of me, the way back to my home...

The Door was open. Perhaps your own door never closes before you return back. You should just to stay near it, and better not to cross its threshold at all if you are in your own home...

I found my home,  my true self and the light of my own love...

Before I saw the sun again, I looked at Mealeasalia. At that moment, She turned into Silver Star ahead of me as if smiling at me and saying: *Come back...*

In front of me, wide open, there was the door to my world, to my own precious Silver Star, to her and my Heaven...

And I jumped.

2004

Elena Amberova