The Rising Moon Sinks All Hearts from Trials Of Ja

The end of Chapter 136



                THE RISING MOON SINKS ALL HEARTS


6:55 am It’s been SNOWING here for the last three days. James would run out into the lawn every morning, barefoot and with nothing but the dressing gown on, frolicking in the snow, remembering the “good ol’ days” in Crystal Valley.

Krotkie would always join him.

Henry is still too heavily drugged for such an activity.

William as been in bed for three days now. Apparently, he had a left knee injury he never told James about, and now it is acting up so that he is being sedated.

We are having a family meeting, held (if only briefly) by Lady Anne:

“My friends, members of Jim Kellspell’s URET (the closest), I have gathered you here to announce a few new things, and also, bring your attention to the fact that the Year of Jaguar is to be remembered by this lovely snow so early in fall.” Lady Anne sighs, as if she is bearing a heavy burden, and she knows that even death will not lift it off her chest. “God willing, we will be on our annual Field Trip to Malachite in only two weeks. My advice is - get your shit together NOW. James has already told you, and he saw that coming from over a year ago - there will be NO BLUE KSILL there.”

I don’t even know who she is addressing. Henry is on a horse’s dose of tranquilizer, still working through accepting William as Jim’s FIRST. He is standing by the curtains to the entrance of his bedroom, not even able to hold his eyes open long enough.

William is in Jim’s bed, motionless. Either out of it, or close. He has not moved in two hours since we all woke up. This is what happens to you at old age. I should take note. Life just seeps out of you, leaving you dry, motionless, like an old log.

But Jim adores this old log of a man. He kisses Conroy, and brushes the remainder of his gray hair, covers him with a blanket, feeds him in bed, and takes him to shower every other day. He washes the man thoroughly with the softest of sponges he could get, then puts a t-shirt and underwear on him, and puts him back to bed in the most caring way.

Krotkie lays happily by Jim’s feet. He wants to be on the bed, but James does not want William disturbed.

Richard was done with his moonlighter janitor responsibilities hours ago, but, as the meeting was announced at 4:45 am, Rockford picked up a broom, and was sweeping floors around the fireplace with a gloomy face, hoping that the busy work will earn him credits.

“Those of us who grew to rely on it for the good mood will have to bite the bullet. Switch to drinking. We will have a gym, equipped with a swimming pool to help you burn off the persistent calorie surplus you will have once you hit the bottle. Other than that - try not to kill yourselves. You see a rope in Jim’s hands - take it away from him. We only have THREE HOURS left to the Pearly Gates.”

James raises his brows and rolls his eyes. He’s been drunk since 5 am. It is, I swear, the only reason he has not shot us all yet. He is that close to a complete meltdown. Now that he knows there will be THREE MORE YEARS of complete silence, and no job offers.

He’d kill for an offer to be on a project now.
So would I.
But we all have to wait for three more years.

“I’m going to give floor to James now, and there is no need to pay attention, because Jim got off the injections, and his speeches are AGAIN nothing but narrow-minded, angry ramblings. Feel free to get back to your daily activities.” Lady Anne smiles, and walks away, across the hall, towards the Spiral Staircase, smiling at someone in the kitchen. Probably Matushka or Lady Tigress.

With that, James perks up and starts with the list of things as to why he wants to kill himself.

Henry, heavily medicated, disappears behind the curtains of his bedroom and crashes there.

Krotkie runs around, happy to be with James and all us. Then he lands by the new fireplace, installed at the end of the wall of our bedroom. Ten feet behind it is Spiral Staircase with the Mood Rug by it. There is a rocking chair for William by the fireplace, but he is still in bed.

James tucks him in, hugging him and whispering love stuff into Conroy’s ears.

“I know that ego is a dumb tape recorder, and I know that patience isn a virtue.” James begins, as he stands on the scale and looks down. “But I feel so profoundly forgotten that I listen to the ego, that tells me, that God has his favourites, and I’m not the one. That makes me drink even more.” He takes wild swig from a bottle of wine.




“The reason I drink is because I’m not just impatient, but also fearful of H.M.’s wrath. Or interference. I sit there on Level 1, wincing at every sound, always afraid he is coming to steal my peace.” James frowns and goes to pull the blanket on William’s shoulder. Then he tucks him in again, and runs his hand along Conroy’s blanket-wrapped shape.

“Carry on.” Lady Anne continues. She is happy to play a role of our “kindergarten teacher”. She wants to help us. She wants James to get better, and live to open the Pearly Gates for ALL OF US.

Jim spent his life being an advocate for the poor and the disadvantaged, just like Darler asked him. Darler made Jim sweat on both of their blood that Jim was going to continue Darler’s fight.

Lady Anne is only too happy to become an advocate for the man who dedicated his life to countless needy people he did not even know, just like his Darler, his Spiritual Leader.




The sliding door is wide open, and pre-dawn wind brows in with wild freedom only the wind can know.

“Lady Anne is telling me, that HAPPINESS is FAITHFULNESS and LOYALTY to the WILL OF GOD.” James comes to hold William’s hand, and that hand is utterly cold.

I see it on my bridgeplate. James inhales deeply to suppress panic, and kneels in front of William to listen to his heart. A dramatic pause later he gets up, more or less satisfied.

But also, let’s not forget, if Conroy coded, The Arkabins would be here immediately, if not sooner. So, no worries.

“I’d LOVE to be sober, hardworking and loyal, as opposed to drunk, not willing to pull my weight, and wayward. I just don’t know how.” James gets up, walks there and back by his lover’s bed, and glances to the wind-blown curtains of Henry’s bedroom.

“Maybe I should get prettier, but stronger rope.” Kellspell muses.

And I can’t take it anymore. On the rising moon, every day Jim either contemplates or threatens suicide.

Alright already.

You’re not the only one.
;You think you’re the most forgotten character in this show.

But you HAVE A voice and I DON’T.

“Maybe we should close the door. It’s 49 degrees outside.” I say, and hate myself for it immediately. When do I NOT hate myself? Jim’s torment… You think KELLSPELL is going through trials? Kellspell does not even know the meaning of a word “trial”.

He is a puppy, your James Kellspell.

I’m sorry. I’m not even supposed to say anything. I’m an Arkchil OPERATOR, not speaker.

“How is that going to help me become happier?” James turns to me, his hair blown about by wind. “Meaning, more understanding towards the fact that I never got any projects, while every single one of you, bitches…”

“Closing the door might not help any of that, James, but both me AND William would be warmer. Therefore my, AND his hands would not be so cold. You just checked his hands so lovingly, and you found them to be cold.”

“What do you care if I check his hands?” Kellspell is suddenly hostile, and in my face.

“When was the last time you checked mine?”

“You are NOT my First Spouse.” James snaps and goes back to his thoughts.

No. I’m only a SILVER CARD holder. And ONLY by virtue of his ex-bf Banazir. And even then Kellspell would not let me in for years. If it was not for Henry, I would NEVER get into the Emerald Filament Team.

I should remember that James did not care for me no matter what I said or did, if it was not for Lord Carlton’s involvement. I must know where I belong in Regent Kellspell’s harem.

“Just for your information.” Lady Anne comes in. “ In twenty minutes I have to take James for the ultrasound of his right ovary, for a possible cyst, on Level 1. They’re suggesting his female avatar goes back on birth control to stop those from growing. James, I need you to be ready in ten minutes.”



UKS15 (to 16): POSSIBLE MEDICAL EMERGENCY

RegJKellspell: “MAYDAY, MAYDAY. I have not had bowel movement for over a week. I have been eating nothing but oatmeal for the last three days, and I have been taking stool softener, max dose of 2 gel pills (half white half purple) for THREE DAYS now. ZERO REACTION. Right now my stomach is so distended I have to be in bed. It is hard to carry it.

This morning I was having an ultrasound because of the possible cyst in the right ovary, and the tech said - oh, it’s been a while since you have had any bowel movement.” And I said - fuck yeah, I know, but WHAT CAN I DO? I have been trying to eat all the right things, plenty of finer, and I have been taking a max dose of Stool Softener. BUT NOTHING HAPPENED.

MY PRINCE I NEED HELP, OR I WILL END UP IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM TONIGHT ($6000).

If no bowel movement takes place by tomorrow morning (assuming I’m not in the hospital), I will be forced to take Dulcolax, which will cause me to take the entire Monday off for 12 hours of vomiting.

It did not have to come to that, if Prince Moretr’s men had reacted EARLIER.

EARLIER was a week ago. I’m going to hold Prince’s office responsible for all the Level 1 hospital charges.”

Thus, we were put on notice.
Pray for James.






“Another reason why I left William was because he was way too good for me. He was so beautiful, a successful American professional, a medical doctor. And I knew, I KNEW IN MY HEART that he would not want to have anything to do with a shuck from USSR. On Level 2 he was using my know-hows to access lower levels of Time, but on Level 1… How could I hope for anything? So, after seven years of those dark thoughts… I’m NOT saying that it was THE ONLY or the MAIN reason why I left William and never answered his calls or messages again. Which were many…” James sighs. “Boy, do I feel rotten fr not answering such lovely messages. This blue-eyed blonde is sending you long videos where he pleads you to open the door of your heart “for our love.” And you IGNORE him for 30 years. Right. How do I explain away THAT behaviour?”





My opinion is that we must fight global warming with any means necessary. Global warming is truly the most significant problem facing us today. For example, it is hurting the Earth with hurricanes. The hurricanes have become twice as strong, and twice more often than before the global warming began! Also, many species of animals in the seas are dying because of the water getting consistently warmer.

The opposite opinion is that there are worse problems than global warming, and some people are too poor to change their lifestyle to slow down global warming.

However, how can people switch to different lifestyle to slow down global warming? People can switch to electrical cars, and to use less plastic. However, there is another opinion, that many people are simply not ready to change their lifestyle.

To conclude, we can say that Global Warming is real, and we need to do something about it. More needs to be done to save the Earth. I’d like to hear more opinions about it from my friends and family.



James Kellspell. Memories of the past.

He drinks a lot more if he ventures down the Memory Lane. “My life was like walking barefoot on burning ambers while trying to squeeze through the ever narrowing walls of broken glass with my bare shoulders. It hurt like hello and I screamed alone in the dark. And when I complained, my parents said - quit whining, this is LIFE. And then they wondered why I wanted to kill myself.”

Here he goes:

“And when I tried to be DIFFERENT, the extremely narrow mind of my mother simply CUT OUT everything she did not understand, and then branded me “INSANE AND DANGEROUS”.

James is silent, staring ate wall. He can drink half a bottle of whiskey without thinking twice, fast, and not showing any signs of inebriation.

“My mother gets PTSD… Every time she talks to me.” James hiccups and takes another swig from the bottle. “You see, “her” ego FORCED her to brand me as “insane ad dangerous”. So, she never enjoyed communicating with me. That brand, or a label, was always in the way. You know when they put THAT label on you? When their DUMB, narrow-minded egos can’t figure out what you are. If you DO NOT FIT any of the transparencies the ego puts on the situation, YOU get DISCARDED.”

“James, will you stop drinking for s second?” I enquire, as I’m the only one in attendance.

But for Henry in his bedroom, standing right there, greedily listening to Jim’s every word, and William, asleep on Jim’s bed, covered in blankets.

“NO, Wallace. I will not stop drinking. There IS NO reason.” He sighs and pats William’s shoulder. “You came into this world saying with joy:  I AM HERE TO CHANGE EVERYTHING! AREN’T YOU TIRED OF YOUR OLD TRANSPARENCIES through which you see the world? Good, Bad, indifferent… I AM NEW! I AM THE TWIST YOU DID NOT EXPECT! Be happy!” James turns to me with a wide smile on his face.

Looking into his eyes, full of tears and pain, I know we’re heading for the precipice.

“But… “ He continues, raising the bottle, which glows dark-yellow in the rays of the autumn sun \Level 1: Genesis 17, Level2: Strobulus\Advancing Proximity to Pearly Gates: 2 hours/

“Your own mother whacks you with a fly-swatter, because after the first five years of your life, once you learned to talk, you were not MAKING ANY SENSE to “her” ego! You said you were a man, when you are a 5 year old girl, you said you could hear “people on the other side”, and you refused to wear shoes.”

“James, come on. Please stop and eat. You haven’t eaten ANYTHING since morning.” I plead.

“I want to die, Wallace. I care not to eat. That will prolong the torment needlessly.” Kellspell puts the bottle down and rubs the tears and the tiredness off his face. “ The ego DISCARDS everything it does not understand. A horrifying notion for me. I could never do that. But the overwhelming majority acts in this way, every day. It is easier - you do not need to wake up, and you do not need to turn on your brain. “Your” ego tells you - “WHAT GIBBERISH! TUNE IT OUT!” And you do. Tired of life, tired of being beaten too much and not loved enough, you trudge through life. The ego IS YOUR ONLY friend. The ONLY thing that is ALWYS there. That is why you listen when it orders you to hurt other people by NOT LISTENING!”

“You do that every day with me, James.” I remind. Really, not knowing why I’m arguing with James Kellspell. Maybe, it is because he is the only man that matters in my life.

“So, you sit at home in front of the TV, and you keep on “program surfing.” Why? Because your fucking ego is restless and is never satisfied. Led bye it, you become LIKE YOUR DUMB EGO-MACHINe. It says - go to the next show! I’m BORED!” And you switch the program like the obedient slave of your ego, you are!!!” James looks at me, with these dark circles under his eyes, and the fat that has crawled under his chin from too much alcohol - I see all that, and I want to wish him dead just to end his torment. “And you switch to another show, like “your” ego told you! Your desire is to please… Or shut up, your ego. The ego can make your life hell if you do not please it every minute of every hour of every day. THIS IS YOUR LIFE after you agreed to break away from God. That is why you drink. I’m stuck there, too…” James howls the last words into the ceiling.

He howls when he types on his computer in English, but the text comes out in Hafnian, because he forgot to switch the keyboard. But it never happens on his bridgeplate.

So, he abandons the computer on Level 1 and ascends back into his body right here in front of me.

“I need to be dead. I long to be dead, Wallace… I’m too tired of being completely alone in this world and with absolutely no reward from God.” James covers the sleeping Conroy with yet another blanket, and walks out into the blinding sunset with a cigarette. “Unless something changes that shows me that God cares about my fight.”



FILE IS CLOSED   
18UKSJAG^