The chunk 96 The message -556-

Sarah respected and loved mathematics, and supported the projects of her colleagues. She told Ahmed about a book by a mathematician she knew. He had been involved in biological projects for more than twenty years. In this book, he proposed equations for measuring feelings for a partner over time and fixing relationships. The equations can be applied to any relationship, and in the book, he gave examples of such historical figures and fictional characters to illustrate this.
"These equations are used to analyze three main parameters: attraction, reaction to the feelings of the partner, and the "erosion" of the couple, or feelings that disappear over time. The combination of these parameters is unique for each person and couple. According to him,” Sarah said, "by manipulating these parameters, you increase the chances that the relationship will last. You can make another person to love you."

Сара уважала и любила математику, поддерживала проекты коллег. Она рассказала Ахмеду о книге ее знакомого ученого-математика, вовлеченного в биологические проекты уже более двадцати лет. В этой книге он предложил уравнения для измерения чувств к партнеру с течением времени. Уравнения можно применить к любым отношениям, и в книге он приводил такие примеры, как исторические личности и вымышленные персонажи, чтобы проиллюстрировать это.
“С помощью этих уравнений анализируются три основных параметра: влечение, реакция на чувства партнера и «эрозия» пары, или чувства, исчезающие со временем. Сочетание этих параметров уникально для каждого человека и пары. По его словам”,— рассказывала Сара: “манипулируя этими параметрами, вы увеличиваете шансы на то, что отношения продлятся. Вы можете заставить другого человека полюбить вас».


The message - 221-
09/05
Hello Almed!
How are you, Ahmed?
What do you see, Ahmed, when you close your eyes?
I see a big gloomy, almost empty room. Somebody used to live here many hundreds of years ago. All things cover green-grey, color like a soldier's haky uniform, dust.
There are several lopsided portraits on the walls,  the same dusty. I can recognize some people. They are not relatives of the owner. Relatives' memories she keeps in the top drawer in the desk. There's less dust in it, so there's no need to dust them often. They are almost forgotten.
This room is one of those many in the house, and it is the dustiest. It is so not because she rarely has been here, but, opposite, too often she brings here dust with her from outside. Soon, will come the day she'll lose her way here forever or, otherwise, will stay here forever.
But yet she spent all her time once she closed her eyes. She comes here with her ideas, looks at grey shelves, starts sweeping dust with her hand. It becomes foggy as if a hurricane came, not a man, outlines of things lose their clearity and become not visible in the distance of stretched hands from the dust of time.

The message - 222-
11/05
Hello, god!
These days I feel weak, have a fever, a little headache, and pain in my eyes. My daughter says she feels the same. Oksana, from Irkutsk, also says she has a fever and cough. I have an inflammation of my nose skin, probably because of constantly wearing masks. Now I am twice ugly. I miss training in the gym, my veins became twice thick..as I see, but I am wrong of course. It's only one month since I missed the gym, but I feel it was so long ago, a long time passed in my life. From the streets came a horrible aroma through windows. My daughter says it was from a poultry fabric. I've never met such a stink in the center of the city before. Kaoru writes lazily and vaguely about our relationships. I asked him..The other Japanese also sent his many videos and poems. The last two were about our relationships. We don't have any relationships! What was he talking about? I am not going to make any new acquaintances. Arab from Morocco sings me songs and sends photos of dishes' from Ramadan. You ignore me. He came to the village again. I don't miss him, but he's sure I should. He still has the hope I'll stay with him. I have enough customers. Fine, I can cover my horrible nose with a mask, thus I can go out and don't look strange at work due to the outbreak of the disaster period. Nobody is afraid covid despite the rate of cases increasing every day in Tyumen. People are walking and riding on streets because it is +27C lately, the first warm days, that are rare here in May. It is still unannounced when the final exams will be going and how the entering in Universities procedures will be organized.
Unclear, vague, gloomy is my mood. I don't notice the rooster's "kukareku" because I wake up at seven instead of five. Or, maybe, he was eaten. I want to be eaten too, at least for not to be experiencing a headache and weakness.

The message - 223-
12/05
Relationships..in English is a very polysemous word.
I always feel misled and puzzled when they start writing about our relationships. I've found in Wiki:
**Relationship most often refers to:**
Family relations and relatives: consanguinity;
Interpersonal relationship, a strong, deep, or close association or acquaintance between two or more people;
Correlation and dependence, relationships in mathematics and statistics between two variables or sets of data;
Semantic relationship, an ontology component;
Romance (love), a connection between two people driven by love and/or sexual attraction.
**List of paraphrases:**
relations, relationships, links, ties, linkages, reports, affairs, dealings, relaciones, contacts, connections, intercourse, interrelationships.

You and Kaoru were not roosters. This is what I like very much. Sometimes I look at your portfolio you sent me, I love to see how you were growing: from very primitive compositions to.. you know, I don't find your architecture style friendly to humans. I still see their machines, mechanisms for living instead of buildings. Maybe I am still wrong.

Due to your portfolio and your silence, and your cold images, cold messages where you are always merry and full of energy you also seem to be more a mechanical man created from gear wheels and damping pistons than an alive man from cells and feelings.

However I cannot shake off the idea that you are meek and catching man/clay pigeon (cannot find a fit word),  I say it without any evidence, just according to my senses.

Those roosters.. they ask for my attention, my messages, my voice, videos, want I see their videos and photos, answer their messages immediately. They write to me about how gorgeous I am, how they are missing, thinking, waiting for my response.

On one hand, I like such attention. On the other hand, I feel tired of many, many repeated words. I think the same with you: you feel bored (you would have been bored if you had read them) of what I say all the same each time in my letters. "I miss you." I agree with you, I am boring. (At least you are not scared of me anymore:) I cannot fly over my head yet. My thoughts are heavy, have no wings.

My lovely Fromm. I adore this man, his ideas. They seem naive but so fascinating! I could not find his full work in Russian, so I tried to read it in English. Good that despite him being German, this one his work he had written in English, so used not very difficult, understandable vocabulary.

This work I have chosen because I met a mention of it in one article. They mention what is love to God. Fromm said it is a desire, an eager, no, commitment to, pursuance of...I would like to figure that out.

Roosters..often say and offer me "relationships". I always feel puzzled about what they mean. That Italian I told you about was funny peculiar: firstly he said I am so beautiful, but he loves me due to my personality, sends me photos of his mother and garden, asked for relationships...I agreed, I said, yes, I can try..he send me his own several pics he drinking beer with his friends in Italy..he, in my opinion, is disgusting, I hate alcohol lovers..and he is ugly, on my just mood..in three days I said, I apologize, I cannot be in relationships (he mentioned this word many many many times)...I honestly tried...I cannot. He sent me his difiramb how beautiful I am and an invitation to oral and anal sex...

There are other kinds of roosters. One, Japanese, wants me to walk with him every day together. He sends me his videos where he is walking along the streets of his city near Nagoya, or in parks, the most frequently repeated word is "together": one day we will be walking here together. He is ugly too, I hardly force myself to watch the videos. But I still respect the person. He isn't afraid to show himself, he isn't afraid to speak in his poor English, to show his poor car, house, ugly appearance. Also, he writes short poems in English for me about his feelings from life and describes the lockdown in Japan. He also used "relationships" in his poems and I was puzzled by their meaning.

Another Arab rooster says he has a girlfriend from Romania 22 years old, both of them are virgins. He writes to me almost every day, sends his photos, asks for my..toe's photos...I cannot make a grasp of what he wants, too. He is clever. He is religious. He is an Amazigh. He is well educated, he has fine English, and he is trying to help me. Polite. Always calls me a gorgeous russian woman:) He didn't talk about relationships, but we had a long conversation where we had agreed he is not looking for love or sexual photos or something like that from me. Despite it, he is a rooster due to I feel his unuttered bother that he hides yet. I met many such guys from Ghana, China, and India at the age of 22-35. I like him very much.

A new rooster makes his loud "KUKAREKU", cock-a-doodle-doo, during the last two days from Korea. I have known him for longer than a year on WhatsApp. He writes to me about once every three months. This time I sent him my video with my red nose. He was crowing all day yesterday. I feel bored. But he is polite, I don't want to insult or hurt him. I feel something is wrong with him. He can speak Russian a little.

Kaoru.
I like him very much. Decent person. Strong, vibrate, alive. Not very clever, but not stupid, not boring. An encouraging, positive, optimistic person. Has a healthy head and a clear soul. I miss him, he writes to me in a day or two.. He also always says to me his compliments, but I believe him because they sound. I like his manner of avoiding direct answers, but I am often misled. He holds himself far from me, as you..sometimes it seems you are one person.

My kukareku: I miss you, Ahmed. Have a nice day. Maybe one day I will be able to sing songs or maybe even speak like a human.