The chunk 97 The message -557-

“Why do I need Ahmed?" Olga resisted her invented attachment: "Ahmed correctly asked: why on earth am I so deeply interested in his personal life? In hindsight, I understand that a real meeting would have killed all the feelings, for sure. And what will I do if he suddenly makes contact?"
And yet, the unsinkable boat of her stubborn curiosity was carried away by the swirling waves that raged among the reefs of her small brain, no one knew where — where God would direct.

“Зачем мне Ахмед?” — Ольга сопротивлялась своей придуманной привязанности: “Ахмед верно спросил: с какой стати я так глубоко интересуюсь его личной жизнью? Задним умом я понимаю что реальная встреча убила бы все чувства, наверняка. А что я буду делать, если он вдруг пойдет на контакт? Такие же скучные беседы как с остальными мужчинами?”
И все же, непотопляемая лодка ее упрямого любопытства была увлечена вихрями волн, беснующихся среди рифов ее маленького мозга, неведомо куда — куда Бог направит.

The message - 224-
14/05
Hello Ahmed!
Thank you for your question. I got at last why you attract me so much that I am involved in your life, trying to know forbidden private information about the most intimate strings of your soul. I got a bit, as it seems to me.
The most attractive thing is exactly the fact that  you are a very good educated man, a doctor of science in your area. It seems the most sexual for me. That is because of two things, as I think.
First is: my father. I told you, he had a diploma with honor, and was very clever. Just after he graduated, he built many new houses in a mooring area, which was difficult at that time. He made some inventions that allowed the building of four- and five-storey houses in such areas. Those houses are still used. Then he became a person in charge, took on very big duties in the government of the city until he died. I was 10/11 y.o.
Then, it was my teacher in physics at University. He was a doctor of science, an associate professor, and had a very good education. He was from Moscow, was divorced, had an adult daughter a bit older than me at that time, they lived in Moscow. He was born in Ukraine, has typical pronunciation, dark-grey eyes which I loved very much, mustache and glasses. He was twice my age, even more. I was 18/19 and his age was 55/56. His hobby seemed very strange: each morning he went to a river, even in winter, when it is ice, to swim. And most of all he loved his work. He was a researcher, made a discovery in his area, a physical phenomenon associated with iodine. The Internet was full of his research, he was at the peak of his science career. I don't know why I attracted him so much. Honestly, I didn't believe my eyes until, several years later, I met my classmate and she asked me how the story ended with that lecturer who loved me so much. She thought we had romantic relationships. He attracted me probably because of his unusual manners and his interest and attention to me. I was just a girl. I did not have any sexual experience. It was easy for me to solve physics tasks, he was impressed maybe, or, as he said, I reminded him of his daughter. He never invited me to dialogue, we hardly ever were alone in a room. But I always felt he gazed at me, he was getting more nervous, I was closer, he was thrilled. And I put myself in confrontation with him despite that he attracted me so much. I thought about him later for years. You have a similar very intelligent appearance, but you are quite different in whole. I like you even more, at yet.

Another thing that attracts me is.. that you are an Arab, at least Muslim, who has this mentality. And it is also from my childhood. In USSR there was one very stupid and primitive, but a popular, movie: a noble guy, a horseman from one of a friend-to-Russia republic (exactly Azerbaijan), a Muslim, met a girl in Moscow and fell in love with her. Then they were exchanged by letters, but.. there was a bad Russian guy, a lazy drinker, but a good worker, who lived here. And he somehow made she didn't receive those letters from the Muslim. And even he quoted those letters as if it was written by himself. Those were beautiful romantic letters. She decided the Azerbaijanian guy forgot her and was getting about to marry the Russian guy, when..the Muslim had known she was going get married to another man and decided to figure out why she preferred the bad guy despite his incredible letters. He came to her...and so on...they were happy together, he took her to his country.
Probably I had a very bad experience with my father: when he became a very big head of the city, he started drinking more alcohol. I saw disgusting scenes between parents, she was hitting him once when he was drunk. I saw many drunk parties in our home, and many important people were invited. I hated them. My mother said they were "useful" people. You know, my partner was Azerbaijanian. I just now realized why I have chosen him.

The third thing that attracts me is that you seem meek and strong. The combination of tenderness and power. When I was a kid, we always had fights with my brother. He was four years older than me, stronger and clever than me. He has one friend, his name was Irzhik (he was mixed between an Armenian woman and a Bulgarian man), he seemed me Muslim too due to he had the Caucasian appearance (dark brown gasel eyes, dark hair, black long lush lashes), was noble, always defenced me from my brother's mockeries. I loved him with gratitude in my heart when I was a teenager until I met my lecturer. Of course, nobody knew about my obsession: nor friends, nor family, nor him. He was a very handsome guy. Later he had become a "king of cigarettes” in our city, he was not well educated, but became rich, didn't drink and smoke, and now he has a big happy family.

I realized why I want you, also why you attract me, what kind of man I should look for. But I am attentive, I do not want to make the mistake again...and maybe it's too late for searching for a partner...there are not many such persons similar to them and with you...in my age..almost impossible...I must decide which man I want, which life.