The chunk 101 The message -561-

Ahmed opened his eyes. He had such a long dream as if he had lived a lifetime.
He dreamed of Sarah...why Sarah? He had never met a woman with that name. What an unusual, bright woman...a scientist, a biologist...from some other life. Maybe was it a parallel universe where they're together...and apart? And there, too, the Coronavirus is rampant… How strong he loved her!
Ahmed got up, went into the dining room, and made himself a cup of coffee. He went out on the veranda, where Peppino was serenading the rising sun, breaking his nightingale heart.
Soon there was a long call to “fajr namaz” from a nearby mosque, and the nightingale fell silent. Ahmed went out to his prayer mat. A half-empty cup of coffee was forgotten on the table. A dark drop of coffee trickled down her rounded, shiny white side, like a tear smeared with mascara, down the delicate cheek of a charming woman.

Ахмед открыл глаза. У него был такой длинный сон, словно он целую жизнь прожил.
Ему снилась Сара… Почему Сара? Он никогда не встречал женщины с таким именем. Какая необычная, яркая женщина...ученая, биолог...из какой-то другой жизни. Может, это параллельная вселенная, где они вместе...и порознь? И там тоже свирепствует Коронавирус… Как же он ее любил!
Ахмед встал, зашел в столовую, сварил себе кофе. Отправился на веранду, где, глядя на восходящее солнце, надрывая свое соловьиное сердце, заливался серенадой Пеппино.
Вскоре раздался протяжный призыв к фаджр намазу из ближайшей мечети и соловей умолк. Ахмед ушел к своему коврику. Пустая чашка кофе была забыта на столе. По ее округлому блестящему белому боку стекала темная капля кофе, как будто слеза, испачканная тушью, по нежной щеке очаровательной женщины.

The message - 238-
Hello god!
I lost my path lately, lost my thoughts. My working day became longer again and I feel tired coming home after 9 pm. I chronically have no time, have no rest. My working day is so thick that I sometimes have no time to go to lunch or to make a fast meal in the office, or even to drink my green tea. There are days when I return home with an uneaten food of my lunch in my container and a full thermos with tea. Of course, it is better than to be sitting without work and starving without having money for buying food. And my work is simple, almost primitive.
What I have to do and want to do now, while I am able to earn and save some money, is to collect them for studying. I need to refresh my head in graphic design and step by step to change my direction in life, if I have such an opportunity yet. I should hurry up with it. Who knows how much time I am lucky in the sphere I am working in now. I was able to save money for my daughter's studies. I bought her a laptop for the study process because the home PC is not enough. I feel I have the chance I was waiting for, for myself to study. It is my nearest goal. Thank you for giving me the chance again.

The message - 239-
12/06
All those men...I didn't find even one suitable for me yet. The single one I consider as a fine one is deceptive in his silence and I feel is not one I ever would trust or rely on. He lives for himself as I feel. Other people are nothing for him. His own complexity is more important. And his family, son, that is a part of him, he is an owner as I guess.
Japanese...I feel disgusted looking at photos of him he sends me from time to time. On the whole, he is sympathetic, has fine dark eyes, and looks good for his age. But I cannot accept him and I cannot tell him directly about my dislike of his appearance particularly. I would not want to hurt him. So I hide, delete the photographs of his face as soon as I receive them. On the whole, this man is pleasant but has many problems with his family and self-consciousness that were caused by his childhood.
The sculpture, the coffin master...it would be funny to consider anyone of all the men I met lately as a partner.
Appropriate one was Kaoru only, but his nervous state, I felt, is too masculine, too Japanese, too rude in my point of view. I could hardly tolerate his temper, although he is maybe interesting. I am not sure about it. When people spend so much time together, they come to the point when they have nothing to tell each other. It's time to figure out if they feel happy being two in silence or are indifferent to one another and all their interest was in selfishly expressing all that garbage they had for the other.
I am plenty sure all those men have not regular sex. More likely they don't have sex for years. I will be one of those from their party soon :) I am sure however no one of them would talk about it openly. An exception was Samir, a black guy from Spain, he admitted he had been starving without sex for four or three months due to lockdown.
I try to maintain good relationships with my ex-partner. Firstly he became hostile, cold, and silent. But I managed to melt the ice with friendly talks, kiddings. I don't want us to become enemies due to separation. I know how it is hard for him to stop daily sex. He has a very hot nature but he is kind. He even offered to pay for my design study. I refused.
Sex...I am missing of tender and softness and warmness of someone's body, not about sex. I miss to embrace him, to lay my leg on his stomach and my arm on his chest, to put my nose in his neck to feel his aroma, to stroke his hair slightly, to press myself to his soft warm, and pleasant body with all my body, to feel his cock is growing in response. It is enough to feel happy with a sweetheart.
 
Макото 24
29/05
I made a big decision this week.
I told a woman that I wanted to formally date.
I haven't heard back yet.
Despite the fact that I don't live near here and I can't always stay by my side.
But if you don't say it, you'll regret it all the time.
Even if the result is not good, I wonder if I will give up once.
Until I'm satisfied.
Honestly, another woman told me I wanted to date, but I declined.
There are people I like, but I can't date.
Yes, I have friends, but they are not the target of romance.
For me, love is a reward and I think it's free.
Of course, I also trust and know that I am busy.
I try to keep myself lonely by various means.
If you think you're not alone
Respect the other person more.
I will think more about the situation of the other person.
I promise only this
Even if you tell me not to date, I don't hate you.
You can't hate someone you love.
Please think slowly and tell me your reply.
Have a nice weekend.

Макото 25
30/05
I'm not afraid of change lately.
It may be comfortable if you do nothing.
While knowing that everything might be irrelevant.
I don't need any more conversation on the surface.
I want to have only honest and open conversations.
The worst relationship may end with people who don't think so.
So I'm just talking openly.
To convey my situation.
If you don't need it, you can erase it because it's unnecessary information.
I think I can't be a best friend unless I speak openly.
If you don't need a best friend, please ignore my long letter.
It just misleads you.
Even if they have different opinions and ways of thinking, I want to feel humanity with each other.
Yeah, just like talking to my best friend.
So I don't want to be particularly liked.
If you don't need
I just won't contact you.
If you don't need an internet connection, you can easily finish.
It's easy, though.
This is what I always think.

Макото 26
31/05
I look at the presents I got from you every day.
You sent me a surprise.
I was happy when I sent it right away.
For the first time, I sent a gift overseas.
It was the moment I felt your compassion.
The thing you sent is wonderful, but I am happier with that feeling.
Because a present is sent after thinking of the other person
It may convey your feelings.
Yes, the letter you wrote remains the same.
I'm sending photos and videos, I just wish you healed
I don't want others.
It just has to be part of the conversation.
I have the same idea for work and private life, but I tried hard, but when it is useless, there is no choice.
Sometimes there are no results.
See you next time.
I grew up in adversity, so I'm mentally tough, so I can't forget what I am doing.
I think there are times when I want to be healed.
Time is not infinite.
It's a waste of time unless you think people need each other.
You should spend your time on other things.
What do you think?
my short poem

Макото 27
31/05
What is happiness? Some people will be happy just to be alive, and some will answer when they are with someone they like. The shape and way of thinking about happiness are different. I think I am a happy person. Usually, people from overseas want to make friends with people from Europe, America, etc. rather than Japan. Some people may not look at Japan. I'm often asked what my future goals are, but I don't have them. All you have to do is live your day carefully. Speaking strongly, I wish there was a moment when you feel happy because I exist. As I said before, the feeling of happiness varies from person to person. There are not many opportunities to meet people. Moreover, there are no more opportunities to get to know people from overseas. I want to be your good understanding person. For the future as well. my short poem

Макото 28
01/06
I confessed to my favorite woman, but I was told that there was an important person.
The dolls and letters I just sent are treasures.
Of course, I saw the photos that I used, and they were happy. Please include a letter.
With that said, I would like to exchange gifts with mutual respect and gratitude.
Of course, only people who want to exchange it can do it without thanks to each other.
Also, since the address and mobile phone number will be open, you can not do it without trust.
It doesn't matter if you are married or single.
By the way, I sent it to a friend who took care of me last week. I plan to send another one.
I really want to send it to those who are grateful, so please treat me in the same way as I have been.
I will ask the address of the person I want to send, so please let me know in that case.
Please be assured that I will continue to talk with you even if you do not agree.
If you do not agree, I would be grateful if you could let me know.

Макото 29
03/06
It is a suggestion to exchange gifts to convey respect and gratitude to each other. Without respect and appreciation, there is no need for each other.

Макото 30
03/06/
I think don't have strong mentally
maybe weak mentally to me
many years before I understood my mentally
usually, many people have needed strong mentally speed a time daily life
I can feel weak mentally person
feel lonely and communicate with anyone often
don't overdo it
I am here
I can understand not strong mentally person
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адрес:
postal code 486-0852
*** banvel kasugai east *-*-* shimoichiba cho
Kasugai city Aichi prefecture in Japan
my name is Makoto ****
I was born in 1963.*.*

Макото 31
09/05
first contact start you trust me exchange message here.
because you tell me add.
i am glad recive message to you.
because i am contact you can good keep helthy.
i think we can good keep relationship with us,we can respect with us.
are you same thinking?
of course you are nice person to me.
always i think caring heart send to me.
if you can share with me,
good things and bad things.
of course i understand very far to you.
but always my heart near you.and alway thinking of you answer  message. 
are you feel my heart?
i hope you feel my heart.
have a wonderful weekend.
sorry mistake my english.
because i am not use translater.
i hope you understand my message
my short poem