The chunk 102 The message -562-

Ahmed posted a video on his Safebook page with the title "My Budo journey in Japan"... No matter how hard Olga tried, she did not see Ahmed in that video.
Olga searched the Safebook for anything about her Ahmed. There had to be a group of Aikido students in his town! The town is tiny, there could not possibly be many of such groups in it.
And she found one! Olga ran into an account of a young guy from that group. After going through his account, she came across photos and videos of Ahmed during the training. Ahmed was suited to the dress: lightweight-judo-gi and dark-blue hakama.
So she saw, at last, Ahmed alive, Ahmed in motion. Ahmed was speaking in the video and...shouting with inspiration, attacking!

Ахмед на своей странице Сейфбук разместил видео с заголовком “My Budo journey in Japan”... Самого Ахмеда, как Ольга ни старалась разглядеть в том видео, она не увидела.
Ольга искала в Сейфбук хоть что-нибудь об её Ахмеде. Должна же была быть группа для занимающихся Айкидо в его городе! Город-то крошечный, не могло быть в нем много таких секций.
И она нашла! Ольга нашла аккаунт одного молодого парня из той группы. Пройдя по его аккаунту, она встретила фотографии и видео Ахмеда в процессе тренинга. Ему были к лицу доки и хакама.
Так она увидела, наконец, Ахмеда живого, Ахмеда в движении. Ахмед говорил и...вдохновенно кричал во время атаки!

The message - 240-
Hello,  Ahmed.
13/06/2020
I've casually met your photo on Safebook of May 2019 in a company of other samurais. You look fine, but those guys are much bigger than you. If you were wearing a bit shorter hairdo, you would look younger, but your head would look smaller and you maybe would look less clever.
Black is not your color. It makes you older but you are still a good-looking man, nice. I eagerly want to hear how you scream at training.
Thanks to the video on YouTube, it was pleasant to watch both parts of the meeting. But the quality of the videos didn't allow me to recognize you, young in it. There were two European in the master class who were similar to you: one with short hair looking like an ancient god and the other with curly hair. Who were you, I would not say, tend to think that the good-looking guy was you, because you used to be shortcutted in your youth. That guy, probably you, was sitting straightly as a statue of a Greek god gazing at the wrestling, only his hands sometimes made a move. I would like to see his facial expression, but the features were all blurred.

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The message - 242-
16/06/20
Hello Ahmed.
My cage is transparent, I cannot see the borders of it, so I often make myself black and blue, often it hurts. When one tries to fly and meets a wall of glass on his way it could be fatal.
More than unseen borders I am afraid of a spectator behind the wall. I always keep in my head that he could be kind or evil, he will not be laughing or caring, only indifferent or he will be annoyed by my attempts. Somehow I always don't expect good.
Goodness...I rarely met such feature in people...the true goodness is not indifference or silence or caring...it is not helping by actions instead of someone, but helping by a fit word or action that makes wonder, that makes people to bright or to flower, or to fly, and always makes them want to live.
I am afraid of a response, I think, but..the absence of a response is a response too.
Why does it happen that I have such fear? I cannot be indifferent to the actions of other people. I feel too deep, some things which even don't touch me I hardly can bear. And I can feel slew by someone's word sometimes. Why? What forces me to feel bad?

They say, actions can speak beyond words, and to remain indifferent or tolerate, or doing nothing is the action itself. Each move of a person is a choice. The choice always tells for itself. So the choice itself can hurt more than words.
To fly means to rise beyond my routine life. I want to feel the beauty of and in my life and in the world as a whole.
What is beauty? Something that makes me want to live. It is True freedom & True goodness & True satisfaction.
True freedom...when one doesn't have any unnatural fears. True goodness...when one is able to find and to accept true words or actions in his heart for or from others. True words are effective helping words, effective teaching words that give the right result. If someone avoids words, uses actions, he is saying by his choice. If he thinks he remains in a neutral position by his choice or no choice, he is wrong.
Sometimes it is better to say something unpleasant to others, it could be a more true word than encouraging him by a "kind" word or saying nothing. Not only bad words and actions can slay.
The right result makes normal people satisfied by themselves: thus they feel happy at that moment. Indeed, solving problems or achieving goals gives happiness. To feel satisfied one should realize the goal. True goodness is to help people to find a true aim and to help to see the true ways to solve it by oneself.

The matter is I'm, as it seems, afraid to lose my goal, to lose my way. A conversation doesn't come easy if people have quite different points of destination in it.  They should make sure they head in one direction, let it be different ways.

I am not talking about any marginal persons who have distorted attitudes.
Again, who defines the "norma"?

Maybe I am not normal...!?
Yes, I am not, if I write such rot and bosh!

The message - 243-
19/06/20
Hello,  Ahmed.
All I have written here are just thoughts between thoughts. Those ones that were placed here were just luckier. I am too lazy to give a full description of the chaos in my head.
And, look at that, explaining something by words requires other words, some terms, that have once and forever definite meaning. But I think that the borders of each of such terms, even when they seem very simple, it turns out, are difficult to explain in other words. We always cannot be in one stream of meaning because we do not have similar images of those terms in our minds. ... So, I think, it's very important to use the most simple and based words trying to explain something. The more simple and common are words, terms, definitions, ... the more worth of to be said is the explanation, or the describing, or a thought. The most complicated thing is speaking about difficult things in simple language.
Today morning I am oppressed by the behavior of my daughter again. She didn't go to take her documents for her future exams just because... the weather is too hot (25C!). She said she can do it on the last day in two days. If the average weather is able to stop her from heading to an aim, what should I expect when she will meet a serious test of life?
I extracted your voice from one of the videos, made a mix of short phrases cutting all the places with too loud sounds. I am listening to it as music. I understand only two words: "Okay, Arni!". The phrase is so encouraging, comforting, sounding meek...I keep listening to it and repeat it in my head to calm down.
"Okay, Arni!" "Okay, Arni!" "Okay, Arni!" I need consolation. Thank you for existing and having such a voice that is carrying a message to people beyond its mere wording.