The chunk 105 The message -565-

Almost every day, many new posts appeared on Ahmed's page.
30 June 2020 at 10:05 he posted a video of a dancing tango couple:
"In a dull society where you lack taste, I only post to reveal what is buried inside me.. A video I personally composed for love at the tango, whose nobility is the grace of the gesture…
© Ahmed ****ni, 2020"

He posted stacks of photos and videos from the martial art training sessions he used to have. He published photos of his diplomas: bachelor from Algeria, master's and doctoral degrees from Japan. He posted videos of his defense of master and doctoral degrees in Japan ten years ago. There were photos of his favorite fish, favorite songs of his favorite Italian chansonnier Peppino Gagliardi, movies with Al Pacino and other European and US artists. He replied in one of the comments that "loneliness is part of my happiness". The status was set on the gaping “single”.
Ahmed seemed intent on showing off the full spectrum of his interests: like a peacock, he fluffed out his magnificent tail in an easy-to-watch position. But nobody can help here: he actually was brilliant. There were many observers, men, and women: people from all over the world left their likes and comments to him as a sign of recognition of his merits and outstanding achievements.
Olga did not dare to send a request to friends and even put some likes. But then, when she decided that it was wrong to view the page, being herself hidden, she put a single like somewhere at the end of his page on every visit (about once a week or two), so that no one, who knew Ahmed, would notice it.

Почти каждый день на странице Ахмеда появлялось множество новых постов.
30 June at 10:05 он выложил видео пары, танцующей танго. Этот пост Ольга невзлюбила:
Safebook of
Ahmed ****ni
“In a dull society where you lack taste, I only post to reveal what is buried inside me..
A video I personally composed for love at the tango, whose nobility is the grace of the gesture…
© Ahmed ****ni, 2020”
"В скучном обществе, где вам не хватает вкуса, я просто раскрываю то, что похоронено внутри меня..
Видео я лично сделал из любви к танго, благородство которого состоит в изяществе жестов…"

Он выкладывал пачками фотографии и видео с давних своих тренировок. Опубликовал фотографии своих дипломов: бакалавриат, магистратура, докторантура. Выложил давние видео своей защиты магистерской и докторской степеней в Японии. Появились фотографии его любимых рыбок, песни любимого итальянского шансонье Пеппино Гальярди и других европейских исполнителей, фотографии дизайнерских работ Ахмеда. Он написал в одном из комментариев, что одиночество — часть его счастья. В статусе зияло “single”.
Казалось, Ахмед стремился продемонстрировать все спектры своих интересов: он, подобно павлину, распушил свой великолепный хвост в удобной для наблюдателя позиции. Наблюдателей появилось много, мужчин и женщин: люди со всего мира оставляли ему свои лайки и комментарии как знак признания заслуг и незаурядных достижений.
Ольга не решалась отправить запрос в друзья и даже поставить лайк. Но потом, решив, что это неправильно — просматривать страницу скрыто — в каждый свой визит, примерно раз в неделю или две, оставляла где-нибудь в конце его страницы один лайк: так, чтобы никто из знакомых Ахмеда его не заметил.

The message - 251-
The message - 251-
29/06/20
Hello, o Ahmed al-Sad!
Today's my day off. Yesterday I possessed the app 'Nebo'. Now I can write letters with a stylus that is handy, comfortable, and pleasant. My consolation for a while.
Yesterday evening I visited your Safebook page again due to your promise daily to place your stories. Last several days I was depressed by your first posts on the page. Why? I don't know... maybe I envied all those men and women who know you... maybe I was angry at myself. I have chosen this way of contact that I have now with you. I made everything possible to repel you. But after some hours of thinking I felt quite well. I did all the things right. I hate to fake. I don't like when other people fake. Do you fake, Ahmed?
What the hell you decided to show some parts of your life? What or who made the impact on why you did that? Are you dying? I hope never. Are you in a hurry to represent your "forgive me" and "thank you", and "a tribute to your professor and to all your masters, mentors and friends who helped you keep up, quite successfully, with your journey in Japan"? Why? Interesting, how much time it will take for you to show all the most important events that happened to you in the last 15 years in Japan and in Algeria. It's such a huge amount of time! I bet you will post all the 15 years ...in 15 days or weeks... This life is like that. I would like you to appreciate in your posts all your wives. Did you have at least one woman to whom you can say a great thanksgiving? Your mother?               
My dear Ahmed! I liked how you call your fishes "babies". It sounds so cute, kawaii. It seems that to the fishes you relate more warmly than to the majority of people. Your quoted phrase, "A bit of gentleness in a world of brutes ..", hurts me, honestly. People are not brutes... I don't believe it.
Ahmed-al-sad! You looked so romantic with the long curly hair (I adore it, my brother was like that, quite beautiful), with the goat beard and the short mustache (prickly I think, but men with haired cheeks always attracted me despite that always I thought if the man is not shaved, he doesn't have a lover). You are like a superstar. Did you know that? I think so. Thank you for placing the photographs for me :)or for someone else. I feel like I'm almost falling in love with you, but I should love my hero, it is normal. I'll allow myself to love you for a while until those 1000 messages will be sent. You, dear, will not be able to withstand it for such a long time and, I am sure, will quit the game soon. I will reduce the time of those letters as I promised you in my previous messages I sent to you a long time ago and which you didn't read.
I got that somehow you can read all my messages and videos, and audios, maybe partly. Probably you use the trick with the airplane mode on your smartphone when one can read and watch all without being noticed in the app. My phone doesn't send me notifications about messages despite all my attempts to fix the bug. But recently I bought a tablet. Now I know that this is the problem with my smartphone: each morning I receive notifications on the pad from the Japanese who I don't like and I can read all of them without entering the Telegram, but my phone keeps silent.
Okay, Ahmed. Was I waiting for something else? Yes. You remain silent, so I hoped you off all the notifications. Why do you read them hidden? I cannot understand, sorry. To be honest, I don't want your response... but I also wait for it...I am afraid of it, it is more right to say ... for many reasons.

You know, it is a strange situation now: I write you letters, you read some of them. But I would prefer you didn't. So, why do I send them to you? Because in other ways, if I had written it for my diary, I would not have felt I wrote it to a real person. I would be fake, like that, Ahmed. I need you very much, my dear sad person. Post your nice messages on Safebook, they are really interesting not only for me. Don't leave me please, Ahmed ***ni, for a while.

The message - 253-
The male peacock is the same rooster.
The message - 256-
My daughter sometimes plays the synthesizer, hidden. She uses headphones connected to her musical keyboard. I only can listen to the sound of how her fingers type the piano keys. She always blames me that I didn't buy a true piano for her. I told her that we had no money but it wasn't true. I didn't want to be beholden to those people who wanted to make us the gift. It was a quite good piano...
The day before yesterday I came home and made pizza dough. I placed it in the oven and told my daughter to look after it. We both forgot about this shell. The food was spoiled again. We both were laughing hysterically to tears because it was the third time in the last two weeks we spoiled food. Probably we both are tired. She is stressed by her preparation for her exams, which will start in ten days, and I've been exhausted by my uncertain situation recently...
Yesterday a customer said he wants to return back the furniture I designed for him. He said it didn't fit his shop (health food store) in the model, in color, and in style, despite the project was approved by him and the color he had chosen surely by himself.
I imagined for a moment that I need to look for another job. It was like taking a look into an inferno. It was a blow. I felt I was on the edge of an abyss and had no room to move. Yesterday I realized all the horrible instability of all the situations I live in.
Several years аgо my husband broke his arm, couldn't work. I tried to find a job, but I didn't find a well-paid job even as a cleaner. They said: "You have such a good education, why are you applying for this work?" ...or "You have no experience of working as a designer in our firm, we have no time to teach you." A diploma with honor didn't help me. They were right. Now I am afraid of being humiliated in such a way again. I met so many strange hires... at least I am experienced in that. I want to provide safety to myself, but don't know how yet..to find a second job..as a freelancer?
Today I've seen some of your sketches...okay...okay... you've gotten much better and the colors you used were the colors of a happy person. Your taste is noble and far from dull society...I agree with you...I like your choice of music, people, things, women. Be happy with all of that deep buried into yourself, Ahmed. Is it true..that..we are that what we have chosen?