The chunk 123 The message -583-

Ахмед прошел в сортир самолета и вспомнил навороченные электронные унитазы в Японии. С тоской представил ведра с водой около унитаза и ковшик в туалете типичной алжирской семьи...и никакой туалетной бумаги, такой привычной в Японии, сделанной из натуральных древесных волокон в три слоя с ароматом японской айвы!
В сортире Ахмед снял давно привычную маску: в Японии можно было не носить тагельмуст, заменяя его на какую-нибудь маску. Маски очень популярны у всех японцев независимо от пола, чем Ахмед и пользовался чтобы слиться с японской толпой и не привлекать особого внимания, хотя японцы очень деликатны и не пялятся на иностранцев, даже очень необычных: разве что из-под тишка…


The message -305-
19/06/2020
Hello bh.

Today morning he saw me wearing tight trousers and tight lace, a bit transparent but decent blouse, examined me from all sides and told me that I am getting older: "but you will be a beautiful old woman", he said. Also he tries to touch me. I don't allow him and he said that the Olga he was known he buried or that my lover is jealous. I hate him. Every day he promises he will go away in two days, and the next day says the same, and so on..I want him to go away..but it will be empty in the house without him. The best in him is he often has a good mood and energy I have lack in.

I miss my Ahmed recently. I want to lie down next to his side, to draw softly with my finger along the line of his profile since his forehead for to smooth out his wrinkles, through the line of nose, then soft lips, prickly chin and neck, and below down and down, very slightly and slowly.
I miss my clever, handsome, noble, bright, masculine, courageous, loving, smart, strong, kind, human and happy man. I still keep one of his photos faced on my PC screen. I look at him sometimes in the working process with pleasure. It's boring, isn't it?

To love a stranger. To give to leave to someone who loves so devotedly. A foolish woman.

Someone we are getting lost starts to seem to be needed.
Changes come not easy.

In darkness everythings is deceptive. Divine the reality if you are fool enough to be courageous.

What is the reason the sun shows its face somewhere in the sky? Blackness doesn't go away on my side.

They gave us a task to draw a self-portrait three times using only dots, only lines and only patches. I've done only one with dots today at work. But there was not time and I transferred the outlines for the sketch from a photo of mine on a leaf through a window glass and then put many dots of different size in the order to draw my face..at least my daughter recognized me in the conglomerate of the black circles.

The message -306-
20/09/2020
Hello mister Quiet blackness.

Today is cold again. I used a blanket sitting at my working desk with my PC. They said they see my serious attention to the subject of courses in my graphic portraits:) I try too much. To each my essay they do an addition. Nothing bad, but I feel strained after them each time.

--Today I closed my old browser tabs and have found one to page of his French teacher in martial arts..Peyote? I came, found his like and I have seen him had changed his avatar photo. But I didn't follow Ahmed's page. I want but I cannot yet. At least I am glad that my horrible performance has had a fine impact on him: he places his photos openly, he got much more confident and brave. He changed his sad face to his smiling pic. He looks very well as I can judge by the small size of the photo. I am glad for him. Aren't I clever?
__-- At least you are kind..forget him! __
-- Thanks. Let him go to hell...it's so late now..and tomorrow I meet with my black boy...I must do the homework he gave me last time...I will do it after getting up today early morning...an essay about "making good use of our time, money and opportunities". He will be wondering because I seem to know theory but don't apply it in real life. I have read about that so much..
__--..he will be astonished more by that ask you have for him about your learning process.__
-- Probably. I think and hope he is absolutely indifferent to the weirdness of his pupils :) Let's try, it could be the best decision for my benefit..if he won't mind
__ --Sweet dreams, good night!__
-- Good night