The chunk 132 The message -592-

Ахмед вспомнил случай, произошедший с ним в лагере. Ему было 17. He was a leader of a student team. She was a good-looking big woman about 55. He remembered how once he came into her office by her call. She talked about something unpleasant about his work with other students…she was almost screaming into his face, when she came to him closely, then she stopped in a rage, dropping her eyes...then she grabbed his chest and pressed him to the wall behind him with her huge soft body. He was afraid and stood motionless. Slowly she moved her head to his neck and slowly undo one button, then another, and others… She touched his cheek with her thick fingers and stroked his neck and chest, pressing her body stronger to his. She stretched her lips to his lips, but he quickly turned his head from her and shut his eyes...
Since that day he kept distance with all women he met. He never told anybody about the case, even his friends.
Только теперь он осознал, что легкий абрис профиля на монете напомнил ему о той, давно забытой, женщине из отрочества

The message -339-
21/10/20
Hello Ahmed,
don't feel offended. I am kidding. I never want to insult or touch you.
Enjoy. Probably, you know this animation. This animation is instead of a hug:)..miss you..hate you.

The message 351
Hello Ahmed,
As usual on weekdays I worked today. After my working day on Saturdays I have lessons with my English teacher on Skype. He looked terrific handsome dressed in his bright blue shirt and shining with his withe smile. His husky сreaking voice still makes it difficult for me to recognise English speech of him. I don't feel a huge effect from his help, but it's my guilt only. I am lazy. Also my abilities are modest for a huge result. One of my interlocutors is from Ghana, Sculptor — I call him so because he is a master of hand-made coffins. He said he got high education in Ghana as a sculptor and his father encouraged him in that. His father was an owner of a private school. About ten years ago or even more Sculptor had exhibitions in the USA and had been to there once. I saw the photos of many of his coffins: in the form of fenix, drummer, flamingo, cell phone for a dead baby, people, cars and cetera. The most expensive order he ever had was the telephone case made in the form of a giant penis. It cost about five thousand dollars. Sculptor is a carpenter and has several helpers as an owner of a coffin-workshop. Also he has a painter. This ghananian told me my English still isn't good. He tried to show me my mistakes, but I feel he is ignorant in English because he made some mistakes in spelling. However I like his spoken English, it is rich, despite him having the manner to type everything without commas and full stops that makes complicated understanding. Typing here in Google Docs is easy for correcting the sentences. They have quite cool algorithmes in correcting English language. I think it is a good helper: bit by bit I see my mistakes and can have known them in order to remember the right variant. I didn't have nothing like that in Chinese or Arabic. Sculptor says he loves me and he wants me to be  his wife. Funny..
I am tired, I want to sleep..He has the same teeth like Ahmed's..two central teeth are turned inside of the dentition plane and have a gap between them. Also he has a small stomach, I have seen under his shirt...his face seems ..good face..has……? tired
Maybe he is a cheater, maybe not. Maybe he is kidding or laughing, it is not important. He guessed me. It is pleasant to feel someone's goodness. Even if it is fake. He writes "jjjjj."
That is what I need. I need someone, my man, to adore and worship me, not because, not despite, but with a pure love not depending on any of my actions. Do I look for a father? No, I look for a mother in a muskuline image:) Fathers can not love like that. My expectations will never come true. The probability of such circumstances is almost zero, with the additional condition that I'll take the same position about the man.
I would prefer to avoid men now. I want, really want to be alone. I don't believe in destiny or fortune for myself. I think that death is what I am looking for. It's hugs will be warm and kisses hot, and its feelings will be understandable without any words. Good feelings which invite me quietly in its Edem. i hate myself..........................full stop