The chunk 156 The message -910-

“We recreated the cafeteria experience we published in 2010 for BSB Korean TV.
The more blue – the more sugar, and the redder – the more protein, the Blob chooses a perfectly balanced diet.”
 joked Sarah.
Actually, it was right, Ahmed preferred food rich in both carbonates and proteins. It helped him to keep fit physically and mentally. He was capable of feeling food in the distance and even checking the quality of the food from a distance. He had gadgets on the surface of his body, which recognized some stuff in the food that was gone with the wind to Ahmed. He had no mouth, nor stomach, but he adopted all he met on his way: bacteria and other microbes, fungal spores…right into his body, like a cosmic Blackhole, and digested them.


The message -399-
29/11/2020
Hello Ahmed,
Yesterday I was invited by my relatives, by my cousin, to their house. We rarely meet despite living forty minutes from each other in one town. I love them and love to be their guest. They have a nice big cozy flat. This time I also met my aunt there, his mother. She is 72 years old madam, in good physical and mental form, having a lot of energy and her own original points of view on everything. I did not see her for about 15 years. I refused from the meetings for many years because there was a case when she tried to persuade me to not get married to my former partner and she succeeded in that. I wanted to get married to him seven years ago when he got his divorce. Honestly, I felt so black mood when I was going to do it that actually helped me to make the right decision. She even called a brother of my father who lives in Moldavia and he called me and spoke over the deal with me. Yes, I refused the marriage. But I was angry at her not because they discouraged me from the step. I didn’t like their relation to the man, my partner. They said that he is not a decent person, that his behavior with me was deceptive. He is simple, he is not educated, he is stupid often, but he is absolutely noble, much noble than most aristocrats, as the time shown in the end. I don’t like it when people are prejudiced. My relatives, they didn’t trust him and they didn’t trust my choice, so they didn’t trust me. How could I live for such a long time with a bad man? What were they really thinking about me? Okay, forget..
This time my aunt was angry at me. We were speaking about culture and she started to attack me aggressively. Her son, my cousin, also had complicated relationships with her. Once they didn’t meet for six years. He refused to meet her categorically. I didn’t expect to meet her that day and, of course, didn’t wait for such destructive behavior from her. But I always knew her character and I never got it too much to my heart. I avoided meeting with her but never felt offended. It is not easy to offend me :)
She went away in the end because her son started arguing against her. But she went out in a friendly mood finally.
After she left us her son was amused why she was so aggressive at me. In the end, he said that I was kind of competitive with her person: usually, my aunt takes all their attention to her and them, my cousin and his wife, usually are listening to her in silence. Only she speaks. I was speaking with her, against her opinion sometimes, absolutely independent and easy thinking. She doesn’t like the easy. I didn’t even argue with her. I just showed my vision. My brother said it is my strength that I couldn’t be offended.
Then I told them our story. Story of Olga and Ahmed in some variants of points of view. They told me to make a gap in my writing if I am not in the mood for that. That we two are in kind of a confrontation: Ahmed is playing and looking at how I am going to realize my promise about the one thousand messages. He is researching me, if, of course, I am not almost crazy now, and understand the situation at least partly right.
When I was in a taxi on my way home I realized what happened. Do you remember I’ve written to you about my vision of pain? When a person feels pain he becomes very small and points at his own body only, at his pain. I concluded that I felt pain. I should find the true reasons why, but not right now.  This is why I shrank to a point. I hid myself as a turtle in its shell.
I decided it was my reflexive move from something destroying me. I must be strong. I must follow the path I've set. I will not neglect my writing. I will not depend on Ahmed’s acts or behavior. This MY play is still interesting to me. I am going to go further. And never again will I allow myself to feel some feeling or a hint of it. Maybe just playing …
Also, I understood that I need an observer to not lose my interest. I counted, I had two constant guys who gave their likes for my posts on Safebook regularly. So, I had 2 from 250 friends. It means I could have 7 827 000 000 * 2 / 250 = almost six million potential people who could like my posts. But only about ; of them are adult people. So, I have about three million observers, potentially. That is comforting.