The chunk 163 The message -918-

“If you notice that any person (and not only a person, but also any life arrangement), as it were, depends on the ability to change internally in the face of some phenomenon in order to preserve everything you need to continue life, to know and find yourself, then you will easily understand, what an important role does certain game in the structure of our body, mind, and society."
“Если вы заметите, что любой человек (и не только человек, но и любое жизнеустройство) как бы зависит от возможности внутренне меняться перед лицом какого-то явления, чтобы сохранить все необходимое для продолжения жизни, узнать и найти себя, то вы легко поймете, какую важную роль выполняет некая игра в структуре нашего организма, ума и общества.” 
Sarah’s fantasy was inexhaustible. Ahmed was curious and this delighted Sarah and inspired her to invent new experiences with him.


25/12/2020
I was commuting to work and thought about Ahmed's video I’ve seen this morning. My first feeling was that he is talking about something that doesn’t satisfy him very much, that is obviously. I found again that his smile is similar to my brother’s smile when he didn't agree with some circumstances. Also, I realized he resembles my grandfather from the side of my mother. When I was a kid about 9 I guested with him, lived in his house. There used to be a photograph of him and my grandmother on a wall near each other. They both were young in it. In that young portrait of my grandfather in the age of about 40-45 his eyes are Ahmed-like despite these two men having different appearances. I don’t remember my father. Probably they would have some similarities too because it is obvious that my brother copied my father. My god, everything comes from our childhood. This is what attracts me to Ahmed. I like his manner to sit in such a laid-back, relaxed posture. And now his facial expression doesn’t seem aggressive to me. Сегодня посмотрю фотографии деда и остальных: возможно, у меня все очень поменялось в мозгах и я совсем схожу с ума от этого Ахмеда.
I received an answer from the Arab living in Egypt who taught me Arabic several years ago on Skype. Maybe I’ll meet him on Skype soon, but I don’t know what I want from him. I wanted him to help me in translating one of Ahmed’s videos. Now I don’t have such a need.
This morning I came into my daughter's room when she was still in her bed. She never sleeps at the time we are going to work. She lies in her bed and listens to our noises. On some mornings I come to her to kiss on her cheek. This time she smiled and said she likes to get up after we leave. I felt that something in her has changed after the trip. She looked with new eyes at Yutmen which she always loves, at us, at our house. She was glad to return home.
Во всем облике Ахмеда есть какая-то щемящая, тщательно скрытая боль, замаскированная ноющая рана. Я не могу понять. Мне хочется пожалеть его, даже если он сильный. Погладить по головке, по красивой кудрявой голове, и поцеловать эти кудри, совсем по-матерински.