The chunk 232 The message -996-

12/January/2022
Ahmed posted two videos about Yennayer 2972 in Algeria with his congratulations and explanations of the custom: monolog and dialog with his friend who wears two rings and the checkered shirt and a post from 12th sura of Quran. It happened after she wrote the first chunks about wolves, but before she published it. She was astonished by the coincidence. It seemed that Ahmed could spy on her or read her thoughts...or she could guess his.

The message -931-
25/January/2022
Hello, my sweet tree trunk. What is the difference in the names I call you: "tree", "Black hole", "Ahmed", "God"…
It is so fine to feel the foretaste of love. It is not important if you love me or not or if I would love you real or not. This love doesn’t exist. The future and the name are not important here.
When I want to hug you I call you "tree", when I want to share something with you, I call you "God", when I am unhappy and want to disappear from life or I am angry at you, I call you "Black hole".
There were fine two years. But here I have to stop and return to sober thoughts, to a real-life for a while because nothing should be constant. I feel I’ve addicted too much to you – a real man. Do you remember, all “too” are not good? How do I know when it becomes “too”? Last year I felt mostly pain from any contact with the real you. The pain is the indicator.
You cannot disappear from my life despite that you ghost me. One only way to leave you is to start something new. I don’t know what it is going to be: studying programming or painting or writing the next book using another pseudonym. I only know I’ll name the notes “The Autophagy”. You will never hear about me again. You will not be able to find anything about me even if you would like. I will change all my fictitious names, and close avatars. I want to forget you at last: the hope for a wonder never dies, you know. But I’ll kill that.