Add an antibody to the body

CHAPTER ONE. WRONG RAIN
Today I have planned a business that I do not like. As soon as I made a decision, my body began to send me a message that it had something, it hurts somewhere, or it would hurt, and no matter what happens, if I still go outside with such prerequisites and go to do business to which the soul does not lie. Time passed, but I still could not take the decisive step.
 The phone rang.
 The caller was surprised that I was still at home. Although one wonders, why call an empty apartment if you are sure that the hostess has already left?
 Lost keys.
 Long searched, finally found. Then it started to rain. Of course, the umbrella was not in the usual place. I gave up. I started to take off the shoes that I had already put on, but I realized that the raindrops sounded somehow wrong. The wrong rain is coming. Right in the shoes she returned to the room to look out the window at the rain. It was cloudy, but there was no rain. The eyes of the rain did not see, but the ears heard. The sound of rain came from a far room. She took off her shoes and walked across the carpet. The legs became uncomfortable. The carpet got wet and no longer absorbed moisture. The window in the far room was open, and the rain was pouring freely on the floor. I stopped in the middle of the room. The rain kept pouring down, and I smiled. I felt good. I understand why I didn't leave. Guessed what kept me at home. Smiling and praising herself, she closed the window. But, it immediately opened, although there was no wind. The pressure of the water was so strong that I choked. Water flowed into the corridor, and I tried to catch my breath. As she breathed, the water reached her ankles and crawled further to her knees. Neighbors were banging and yelling downstairs. It was very good to hear them arguing. It was especially funny for a five-year-old kid who repeated bad words addressed to me after his mother. All this my mind noted as if in passing, but in fact I was thinking. Or rather, she tried to think, knocked down by a stream of water. I praised myself for pulling the books out of the closet yesterday, I wanted to rearrange them.
 An empty cupboard is very handy, but, together with books, I would hardly have moved it. On the wet floor, the cabinet glided superbly, and exactly stopped in front of the window. Making one more effort and pressing down the window sash with the cabinet, I decided to take a time out and look around. The water seeped rather slowly towards the neighbors raging below. There was so much water that you could lie on your back and swim like in a pool if you wanted to. But there was no desire, there was a thought that this does not happen. If it's raining here, why isn't it in the next room? Or maybe it's already there? But didn't have time to check. Something very strongly began to push the window sashes, and with them the wardrobe. It was scary. The cupboard moved, the water flowed more strongly, and I stood still.
Although she could have run away. And not only from the room, but also from the apartment, and from the entrance, for that matter. But she didn't run away, she didn't even try. My body told me that he felt bad, he was sick and he was not going to run anywhere! And then I remembered that it was he, the vile traitor, who first did not let me leave the house, and then the turn of the phone, keys and umbrella came. It became so scary that I closed my eyes, but nevertheless, I did not try to move. I felt that nothing would come of it. Judging by the sounds, the window swung open completely, the cabinet moved forward a little, and then fell. Probably pushed. Or maybe not. Something slammed to the floor. So much. Very much. Paul trembled. It became quiet. Only a rare thump of drops could be heard. From the windowsill to the floor. From po-to-rider to the floor. From p-o-d-o-kon-nick to the floor, from the window sill. ...
It became quite quiet.
 I opened one eye. Outside the window was the sun, and on the floor lay a cradle. Construction. Which is raised and lowered. Heavy. If it weren’t for the water, dust would probably be hanging in the air now, and pieces of plaster would be lying around, but there was water everywhere, so nothing hung or rolled. I climbed over the edge of the cradle and sat down. The water immediately reached me up to ... Suppose up to the waist. It was cold and ticklish, but I quickly got used to it.
 CHAPTER TWO. STRANGE MAN IN A CONSTRUCTION CRAFT
I lay and thought. I thought about why the water did not go down, and why the neighbors were silent.
They should have been standing under the door for a long time, knocking and shouting. Or maybe they were completely flooded, and now they swim like fish in an aquarium and open their mouths? The rope to which the cradle was attached trembled, and a man burst through the window into the room. He looked at the water, at the floor, at the wet trousers, at the cradle. And then he saw, but not immediately, me. I was in the cradle. Waist in water. Seeing me, the man did not get angry. No. But he wasn't surprised either. He took out a thermometer and put it in the water, pulled it out, wiped it first, and only then looked at the degrees.
- So. So. The man said without looking at me. - Let's lie down, then. Why are we lying down? Another would have been dragging a rag on the floor for a long time. Will have to liquidate!
- Whom? Rag? I asked
- No you.
I laughed. But then she shut up. For some reason, the man did not support my laughter. He didn't even smile. He didn't even look at me. He couldn't get enough of his thermometer.
Iwas silent. He was also silent. Having looked at the thermometer, he put it under the armpit of his left hand, and handed it to me with his right.
- Get up already. I can't liquidate you right in my cradle.
The man said the right things, but there was something in his words that was still wrong.
I didn’t know what, but just in case, I pressed my back into the cradle. The water immediately reached my mouth.
Seeing that I was not going to respond to his gesture of trust and friendship, and I was hiding my hands under, under the place where they usually sit, the man was offended.
- So you are! You don't want to be good. On the nose of the elections, and you give me such tricks?
Well, - the man was silent for a while, - I will liquidate it together with the cradle!
He spoke the last words, referring to the thermometer he had taken out.
So, looking straight at him, the man went to the window, but stumbled on the closet
“They threw it here,” he began to be indignant, but, looking back at me, fell silent. Then he returned, leaned over in disgust, pulled my hand out of the water, put the thermometer under my arm, and slipped my palm in ... Well, where I put it before. Again he went to the window. I stumbled on the closet a second time and said, “Oh, you!
And finally got out the window. Not out, but out. Take it easy. From the thirteenth floor.
The legs are gone. Shoulders. Head. One dome remained. So the tops are not a hundred ...
In vain I was delighted. The crown immediately reappeared, followed by everything else. Without entering the room, the man leaned over the window sill and asked
Who were you going to vote for?
While I was going with the answer, he concluded
- All clear. Ignorant element. Of those who...
I'm offended.
- You are wrong! I have read all the election programs. Very carefully.
The man has become kinder
- Carefully, you say? Well, lie down, lie down, don't worry! I will not eliminate you.
— Have you regretted it? I asked naively
- Not. There is no more time. In five minutes,” he pulled out some official piece of paper from his pocket and consulted it, “an earthquake will begin in five minutes. It will be exactly five minutes. Then, if there is something left of the house, a plane will fall on it. If that doesn't help either...
There was a whistle from the street. The man fell silent. And then... Then a miracle happened. The man smiled at me! However, he immediately pulled himself together and pulled out a syringe from his pocket. And he made an injection in the top of his head.
CHAPTER THREE. THE MAYOR OF THE CITY WILL TALK TO YOU
I lay still for two minutes, and then got up. And she went to a room where there was no rain. Because the phone was ringing. For a long time. Almost two minutes. There was nothing else to do in this room anyway. The water went all the way to the floor. The neighbors are lucky. And she left me. The phone didn't just ring. He yelled and choked on his own sound. The tube just flew into my hand.
— Press the button. The earthquake will start in fifty-two seconds. Press the button. The earthquake will start in fifty-one seconds. Click...
I looked back. There was no button in my field of vision. And the phone yelled so that the air vibrated. There was no button. Well, there was no button around. Desperate, and not hoping for anything else, I put the phone on the end call. And sat down to wait for the earthquake. The countdown of seconds ended and started again, but there was no earthquake. But the phone rang again. He called and called, and I sat and was afraid. The porthole opened. I jumped up in my chair in surprise. A paper airplane landed on my knees. I turned the plane around.
On it was written
"Pick up the phone"
I picked up the phone.
- Thank you for pressing the button - it started from the depths - the city thanks you! Now the mayor of the city will speak with you. Do not hang up. Do not hang up.
Yes, you can't argue with such a voice! This voice reminded me very much of another. My native language teacher. Well, one on one. And the elders were taught to respect and obey. Taught from first grade. They taught in different ways. And they did learn! Take, for example, my hand with the tube convulsively clamped in it. No matter how I tried to force my hand to smoothly lower the receiver and put it on the end call, everything was useless.
Useless.
 The hand from conflicting commands already turned blue and stiffened. Finally, I gave up. And stretched out to attention, she began to wait. It took a few minutes, finally it happened!
The mayor of the city thanks you! - rushed from the tube.
A very pleasant baritone spoke. From the surging feeling of patriotism, I almost suffocated.
And the voice repeated again
The mayor of the city thanks you!
I'm not a very quick thinker, but when a pleasant baritone repeated this soul-stirring text three, five, ten times, I realized that this was a recording. But I didn't get upset. Vice versa. Without removing the tube from my ear, I moved a chair with my foot and sat down on it. Sat down as comfortably as possible. It felt like I was in a concert hall. At a concert… Who does this baritone remind me of?
And why does someone remind me of someone all the time today? No, well, who does he still resemble? Especially those two words “thank you…”!? Whom? I remembered and fell off my chair.
Today was definitely not my day. The chair is broken. I hit. And most importantly, the phone fell with me. And crashed. Strongly. And probably hopeless. And all of— for that sweet-voiced baritone. It was he
CHAPTER FOUR. STADIUM WORKER IN THREE COLORED COATS
When the roar of the plane subsides, I will tell you who I had in mind, but for now, in view of the fact that the plane, in all seriousness, decided to fall on our house, it's time to save ourselves. Just how? The roar filled my ears, and I went to the window and opened it. Just. Just in case. Remembering that I am on the thirteenth floor. Wow! I always thought that from my windows there is a beautiful view of the garbage heap, which ends in a wasteland, but it is clear that in the half hour that I did not look out the window, in the world and specifically on my street, something has changed. Now from my windows there was a beautiful view of the stadium and, characteristically, my window was almost flush with the highest stand of the stadium. The time for reflection was over and, therefore, when the rumble of the plane that almost fell on the house and the roar of the stands merged into one sound, I made a decision. Rather, my body made the decision for me. The head was still thinking, but the body was already there, on the stadium podium. Fortunately, just all the spectators rose in unison and yelled something outrageous. Therefore, hardly anyone paid attention to me. I sat down and decided to show with all my appearance that I had been here from the very beginning of the match. But it turned out to be redundant. No one was going to sit down anymore. The match ended, and the audience yelled, apparently welcoming the winners and blaming the losers. I can’t say more specifically, because the language in which the audience shouted was unfamiliar to me.
 The stands were empty.
 And I sat, not knowing what to do next. Quite silently and out of nowhere, a man in a red coat and with a stretcher appeared. He turned to me. Addressed all in the same language unknown to me. I shrugged, hoping that he would interpret my gesture properly and back off. But the trick didn't work. The man turned to me again. The tone was distressed. I showed that I did not understand. Then the man began to untie the belt on his robe. I got scared. But as it turned out, completely in vain! The man took off his robe. There was another one under the red robe. Blue. He tried to put on me the robe he had taken off. When I refused such a generous gift, he tried to put me on a stretcher. When I declined this offer too, the man laughed and suddenly sang a song. I shied to the side. Then the man abruptly fell silent and began to untie the belt of his blue robe. Under the blue robe was still white. I liked what was happening less and less, and I turned to my window, hoping that the threat of a plane crash had passed, and I could return home.
 But, I didn't find my window.
 Or rather, I did not find any window. The stands were crowned with a cube of red brick, without any hint of windows. In disbelief, I tried to reach the smooth wall of the cube. The man immediately said something to my back in his gibberish. In annoyance, I waved my hand to silence him and continued to reach for the cube. I talked simply. If I was able to get down to the stands, then the reverse action should be done with the same ease. Finally I got it. The man continued to mutter something at my back, but I paid no attention to him. And in vain. Because as soon as I reached the place where, presumably, my window should have been, the spotlights in the stadium lit up and began to rush about and the siren blared. The impression was about the same as at the moment when the criminal escaped from prison.
Trying to block out the light, I raised my hand to my eyes, and heard a slight knock and the sound of broken glass. The thermometer dropped. Forgotten and long overheated. I was curious about what my body temperature is at the moment. She leaned over the remains of the thermometer. If something intact remained, then the mad searchlight did not allow it to be considered. Having sympathized with the strange uncle who forgot his thermometer with me, I straightened up. The light continued to blind, but I was no longer in the stadium. In a strange way, I ended up at the window in my own apartment. It was night outside. The night was lit up by flashing lights. Flashing lights were on the roof of the cars. For some reason, an ambulance.
Here's bad luck, again an ambulance, for the third time that day! Well, I won't get vaccinated against coronavirus, don't wait! Here is the neighbor of the neighbor of the great-aunt's second brother-in-law from the mother's side, got vaccinated and ... Well, what is it? Why break on the door of an apartment where they don't answer calls? I'll go to the room where it was the wrong rain. Nothing helps! Well, why are they knocking on the door? Oh, now they started to break the door!
CHAPTER FIVE. I ALWAYS DREAMED TO VISIT RUSSIA
What should I do? Opanki, window! I want to go to the stadium!
There was no time to think, I opened the window and jumped off. If there was a wasteland under the windows, then I would have crashed, but thank God that I ended up at the stadium again. Now, however, it was not just one man in a tricolor robe standing in front of me, but two. The first again asked something in an unfamiliar language, and then turned to the second. The second looked at me carefully, and then asked me in English. I knew this language poorly, but still understandala. After briefly answering the man and asking him something in turn, I finally understood where I was. I was in Russia. Once in my youth, I dreamed of visiting this mysterious country, and now, in an unexpected way, my wish came true. One question worried me the most and I asked the man who spoke English about what worried me.
- Sir, I don't know your name, I'm very worried!
-My name is Ivan. I am an administration representative. Our task is to ensure that the audience at the stadium is always satisfied. What did you want to ask?
-How should I say it? I'm wondering, if I go out into the city, will your patrol require me to have a certificate that I have done all 99 vaccinations against coronavirus?
- We don't have such a patrol. Can I escort you to the hotel? Are you a foreigner and came to this match from afar?
- No. Yes. Wait! Will they let me into the hotel without a dropper? I left the drip at home
-No, you only need to wear a mask at the hotel, and your temperature will be taken at the entrance.
-And that's all? Listen, sir, I like you more and more!
-I am very pleased to hear that! Do you have more questions?
Yes, a few more small questions. If I get sick while in a hotel, will I be walled up alive in my room?
- Madam, you are saying strange things! No, of course, you will just be taken to the hospital
- Just taken to the hospital? Strange. It seems to me that you are not telling me the whole truth!
- Madam, it's cold at the stadium, and you are dressed very lightly, can we go to the administrator's room?
- Yes. And I also want a red-blue-white bathrobe. I'm cold! Is this your national dress?
-No, this is how the stadium workers dress. But, if you want, then we will give you such a dressing gown
-While we go, answer one more small question. A small but very important one. If I don't want to get vaccinated against the coronavirus, will they force me to do so? The police won't knock on my door, won't an ambulance come to me according to the schedule?
-If you are healthy, then the ambulance will not come. If you are healthy, then you have nothing to fear from the police.
-Hooray, I found the country where I want to live!
- Madam, madam, wait! Where are you going?
- Yes, indeed, where am I? Sir, tell me what papers you need to collect in order to become a citizen of Russia?
-ABOUT!
- Excuse me, what did that man in the bathrobe say, who only speaks the language of this country?
- He said, I'm sorry, I won't translate it for you, his words are not one of those that are printed in books. Let's go, I'll take you to the city administration. There you will solve all your questions.
It is a pity that I did not understand the language of this country then, if I could understand what the watchman Uncle Vasya said then, I would have thought more before asking for asylum.
Now I can speak and understand this beautiful language and I quote verbatim what Uncle Vasya said then:
- Here (non-printable text) a woman (again non-printable text) would sit at home where (unprintable text) brought her?! To freely walk around the city, we do not need a pass. A chip has been implanted in the arm of each of us (non-printable text), the chip contains information that each of us has received 66 vaccinations, we will have to do thirty-three more vaccinations in the next three months (non-printable text). Of course, we are lagging behind Europe, mother her leg (unprintable text), but otherwise we have everything the same as the lady was talking about. However, you can’t forget the dropper at home, it is always with me. The chain that connects the body to the dropper is threaded into the earlobe. And (unprintable text) if you don’t want to be vaccinated, then they won’t send a car for you, not (unprintable text), why? It's just that the dispatcher at the hospital will press a button that will resonate in your head. A chip has been implanted into the head of each of us, and if we (unprintable text) want to refuse vaccination, then oh my, a slight movement of the dispatcher's finger and we are already lying on the floor in agony, writhing and howling! Chip in the head, this is not khukhry muhry for you! Well, where did he take this lady? Straight to the hospital? It would be better if she stayed at home. By the way, I see her window is still open! Well, you have to climb out the window! Let's see how they fight the coronavirus over the hill! Oh! (unprintable text)