Balkan Pattern

There are rumors exist among some of Russian speaking people: you come to Albania and they will cut you for organs and sell them to NATO. But people still come and see friendly smiling Albanian people, always ready to help confused foreigners. They could buy bus ticket or water, even postponing own destination will walk you into yours. It’s true! It’s pleasant and surprising as in not many places that kind of attitude exists...But at the same time other attitude also exist

Director of Center for special children in Vlora was very pleasant young woman. Her friend brought me to her with a purpose she could use my skills and desire to work.
Director shared with us her problems: many parents needed help with their kids, but no place for them in the Center, problems with money, etc
I described my situation-season coming and I needed to move out, unless I’m willing to pay seasonal rate.
 Director suggested for me
1)  working with kids for payment, so I could pay high seasonal rent. She would discuss it with parents
 and
2) teaching  their staff my photo therapy for free. She promised to talk to staff
That sounded great! Especially the second one…

In my turn I let director know that I needed to get a result of it as soon as possible in order I could decide what to do with moving as it required time and money... She promised...I believed her words …Again!... I left Centre inspired and hopeful… 
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In a few days

- Hello !   Thanks a lot for the meeting and your suggestions I'll come as soon as English-speaking staff will be ready.  Here are some materials they could look at (I send my articles)

In a couple of days (I try not to be pushy, but...)

-Hello! How are you! I'm ready to start. What about your English-speaking staff.  Do they ready? Thanks.  All the best    
-Hello! I’m sick at home
- O sorry! Get well!
- Thnx
(It was strange, why I needed Director to start working with the staff, but I said nothing…)

In 3 days.

- Hello! I hope you feel better. Maybe at home you have more time, so I'd like to ask you a question. N.told you what has happened to my house and I'm still looking for solution.
So, here is Idea-suggestion
With help of municipality build some new building there to use for autistic kids of your organization and for me (to live there and work, developing my Phototherapy as I have many projects in mind) I bought that place in a hope to work there with kids, but was cheated. Maybe it’s possible to solve it that way-kind of make a little bit different programs or whatever. Maybe work on USA grants. You could know better those things. All the best. Get well.
- Hi !. How are you. I am sorry but I in the problem e i can’t find solution. And my head is down
- What is solution you are talking about?
-My problem dear in my home. I write you. And see you next week
- Sure!  Tuesday 10am!  OK . Btw, I'm problem-solving person. If you think I could help you with "head down" let me know
- Thnx. But my problem is with money
(Maybe it was a hint to give her money)
- I have some ideas about that subject
- What subject?
- Money subject
- What idea?
- Tuesday
- Ok

WE met at school and set a meeting with the staff for me to teach them my System. Also I shared few ideas about Kume with her. She promised to talk to municipality the same week
- Hi! How are you! Here is 2 more ideas  for Kume programs   
   #1   Program with kids together with parents-actually teaching them to teach a child life- skills
   #2   Almost nobody do photo-therapy like that (only in Russia by my articles) so we could apply for research money as a pilot program.....Also  just in case  I attached my resume and a reference from the Manager where I worked for 17 years

-I read now. I was in meeting with the staff. In Albania is difficult to research for money. And to take a loan is impossible. I talk to municipality and I write you for the answer
-I meant money not from Albania, but other countries.  In USA they tried twice to do research on my ideas. I don't know much about that financial side. We also discussed possibility of research with university psychologist here in Vlora, with stress on local mentality, but she is leaving Albania for good

In a few days

I presented my System to therapists and suggested a few ways they could apply it. Therapists told me they are not allowed anything, except written for them by organizations who pay them salary. Director was not there
…Why Director did not tell me that nobody would allow me to teach staff therapy? What kind of game it was? I had to go to the end of it to understand
----------------
- Hi. I was in the centretoday, hoping to see you. What municipality said? I talked to the staff. Please tell me only about municipality -  yes or no.  Thanks
- Hi! I write you later. Because i am in a meeting
- ok
- Hi! This week is impossible to me to talk to the municipality. Thursday I talk to them.  In a meeting
- OK ! Do you know any English-speaking parents here who really would like their child to progress?
- In my centre no Parents just speaking albania language
- In other places? in Vlora or anywhere else??? Your specialists told me about the problem -which is everywhere in the System-every action should be approves- bureaucracy...
  - Yes. Exactly. Every action need to approved by municipality. And in my center nobody speak English. Parents. But in Vlora maybe parents with children with special needs are speaking English. But i not know who they are

(WHY Lori suggested me to teach her staff my phototherapy? WHY?)

- That is why I wanted so much to be independent. You cannot help a child, when every action or words needs to be approved by municipality or somebody else

- I understand. But is the manual in center.  They stop staff to work with the child in private way
(WHY Director suggested for me to work privately if that was forbidden? Maybe it was done for her friend who brought me? Friend was a Big Person working for some organization)
- No private work?

In a while

- Good morning! System is everywhere the same. I realized, that doing anything in the Center could be big problem. I'm sending you some writing. Please read the Project for Kume and see if that could be attractive to you in term of financial side-attracting tourists with special kids , referring them to hotels and get some percentage.  Maybe Municipality could be attracted by that idea and would help with Kume house.  What do you think as you know the politic here? Project would require different organizational skills where I can do nothing. Also after 2 hard years in Vlora I have no any beliefs in positive things here.

In 3 days

- Hi!  Hope you and your kids are OK. Tomorrow work starts again.  Please try to talk to Municipality as I need to make decision this week about my relocation, which involves finance. Your staff-therapists promised to give me their answer tomorrow.  Thanks
- Hi !Ok

3 days later

-Hi!  How are you! What is up!  Jenny the therapist promised to answer Wednesday, but did nothing. I need to pack my stuff. And I'm waiting for your answers. Thanks

No answer

- Hi understand that all answers are "NO". Well, not a surprise! Thanks for everything. I wish you all the very best!
- Hi! How are you. Sorry but my day is a lot of meetings with parents and staff because of autism month.  In municipality is impossible to me to find a answer. Because the municipality are not in possible to find a grant.  And your project needs a lot of money.  I can not find a way to realize this idea.  And Jenny is in home with her daughter because is sick

(That was a polite way to let me know that I should get off)
- OK! Thanks!
- You're welcome!

(I lost a lot of time with relocation and had huge extra problems because of that.  WHY that all happened? Because after so long time on Balkans I still believe in people’s words and promises. But if I don’t, then how to function. I need to learn the way to function, consider fake promises, but still did not figure out how, because if promise would not be fake, than I could be in a bigger problem as well. I did not pack stuff for kids, hoping that one of Director’s promises would be not completely fake.
Another thing is that after words are proven fake, I always try to understand WHY, analyzing possible reasons. With Director she probably tried to show care in front of her friend and then just went with whatever flow was around.
It was much easier with my clients behavior
and
how bad it is to be depended from other people