Soucramento Poems of Conffesion at Poems

SAMSON    GELKHVIDZE




Soucramento  Poems  of
 Conffesion at  Poems
(Poems)


 



TBILISI  -  2022


UDC 821.353.1-1
G-34









© Samson Gelkhvidze, 2022












ISNN  978-9941-8-4727-1


 


"Poetry is my calling,
my destination
That for which from Heaven to earth,
fate commanded me"






 
 




"My Essence
there is my pain... and my feelings,
without which I am far from me"
Samson Gelkhvidze



 

SAMSON    GELKHVIDZE




Soucramento  Poems  of
 Conffesion at  Poems
(Poems)




"Vanity of vanities, everything is vanity,"
said the Ecclesiastes,
And only poetry will risk
Whisper back to him:
"Everyone but me."






Tbilisi – 2022
 


Gelkhvidze Samson Prokofievich. Soucramento  Poems  of  Conffesion at  Poems / Poetry collection / Ed. G.B.Korenetsky.–Tbilisi, 2022.,  p. 86.




The collection contains an introductory article by the editor and selected poems by the author from 1984–2001, grouped into sections: "Poetry and I", "Sounds of the Heart", "Meditative", "Civic Stanzas", "My Friends", "A Look into Nature "," Joking.


 





© Gelkhvidze Samson Prokofievich
© Korenetsky Gleb Borisovich
   (Introductory article, structure, cover, design)







"THE SOLID HEART HUMS EVERYWHERE"
(Editor's note)

These words of Vladimir Mayakovsky are the most suitable for characterizing the poems and poems of Samson Gelkhvidze, who for the first time appears before readers as a poet.
"The first sign" on the bookshelf of fiction was the collection of stories "Dealers in Pain" (Tbilisi, 2002), and now we see a test of the pen in poetry.
The carrier of a purely earthly profession of a builder, having scientific contributions to this field of technology and a scientific degree, as it turned out, spends a significant part of his life ... in the sky, carried by the wings of inspiration, and, perhaps, by Merani himself ...
The poems, conditionally "sorted into order" - sections of "Poetry" could be indignant and demand "perestroika", but ... what's done is done! The author wrote many, many punched cards that impress him as carriers of original lines, and then the PCs and editors got involved in the work, and there was a "registration" on the shelves ...
"Sounds of the Heart" is not only a section of the collection, it is its essence. The poet's meditation covers, first of all, human feelings: love, compassion, the joy of communicating with nature and Heaven.
The troubled soul of the poet, who for a long time vaguely aspired to Heaven, to lofty feelings, to great sacrifices, received calm and access to the Heavenly Father. Samson became a devout parishioner of one of the Tbilisi Orthodox churches. In many of Samson's meditative poems, the "Heavenly Theme" was explicitly expressed and, in his opinion, poetic creativity was prompted to him from Above, is a divine gift. Hence the title of the collection.
"Poetry is my calling,
my destination
That for which from heaven to earth
fate commanded me ... "
"Poetry in me is from God"
"... Greater happiness
After love and devotion to God,
In poetry I want to find!.."
Samson deeply believes himself and convinces the reader that the life of society without Him, without observing the Commandments, is flawed, inferior, and sometimes criminal, leading to upheavals and crises. We read this in his Civic Stanzas.

"There is no community of people without God..."
"People, don't shoot your brothers..."

A special place in Samson's poetry is occupied by traditional meditative-lyrical questions: the sources of inspiration, creative impulses, the essence of poetry. He shares his feeling of deepest satisfaction when punched cards are filled with inspiration and his beloved, which brought poetic lines to life, he can carefully and safely hide on a shelf:

"I'll take you to a notebook ... on the top shelf,
I'll take it farther...

Samson's bright humor is also manifested here, as in poems about a draft - a guest of the research institute, about his name, etc.
Heartfelt "trials and errors" are presented in the collection with sincere, truly confessional lines, the poet's excitement sometimes spills over the edge of the heart cup.

"Still love sick
To everyone and everything
But, as before, we do not love! .. "
"... I just wrote, hoped and believed,
In the dream of unfulfilled love,
"My essence is my pain
and my feelings
Without which I am far from me ... "

The ability for warm heartfelt dedication to friends and everyone in need of help manifested itself in stanzas that were not devoid of some bitterness. Apparently, gratitude was not always the answer ... What a pity! Such a manifestation of altruism is rare in our super cruel twenty-first century.

"I saw human tears,
I drank human grief to the bottom ... "
"I sacrificed myself for my own joy...
And in this I felt my purpose ...
The more things he did, the more they demanded ... "

When reading love and meditative lyrics, the "spontaneity" of Samson's work is striking. His "natural verses" do not know the "comb" of versification, they are whirlwind and sometimes clumsy, the author has no time to "comb" them.

"Pandemonium of thoughts
My abandoned soul..."
"In the avalanche of these lines
I don't see all the mistakes...
Rather, I skip them."

The lines overtake each other, are often repeated, falling under the cruel pen of the editor, but they always feel the beating of a full "fireproof pain", a sensitive and devoted heart. In one of the poems, Samson repeats several times:

"Find a woman
Soul more feminine than me!"

I really want to transfer from the thick author's folder to the next poetic collection of analects  migrated  "combed" by the author himself "creations". In this collection, the reader will already find many poetic finds, unexpected images and metaphors, and, most importantly, bright feelings.
And I also want to wish the poet joyfully, deeply and for a long time to look into the dilated, devoted pupils of the eyes - into "two sunflowers on blue marble", which he once happened to see! ..
Indifference is the most terrible human feeling, all earthlings must overcome it in order to refute the sad lines of Samson:

"A person's life is the black box of an airplane,
As long as you live, you are not interested in anyone ... "

Human life is a bright, bright trace! Moreover, - the poet, who creates Poetry: - "Mine, yours, someone else's!"

Gleb  Korenetsky
;
POETRY AND ME

Mine, yours, someone else's...
Mine, yours, someone else's
What's the difference?
Poetry is one
Folk, human,
Poetry is soul
My soul, yours
The soul is completely different!
Poetry - souls
Living Stream!
Poetry - souls
My one hope.
Let me be a bad poet
But the soul burns
And so I live
And so I exist!
Poetry is mine
Love, one - to the grave!
You broke my night
Break another one!
But build my life
From heat cubes
Build a spacious house
So that many
Warm hearts!
Live my love
For the benefit of all people
Live and create
Don't leave me!
03/06/1986

;
* * *
I write for myself
This is what I pamper myself with.

BAN
I forbade myself to read for a long time,
So as not to write about what I caught.
I want to voice only the thought of the poet,
Sing the song that sits in me!

How true this is, I don't know...
After all, in life there is no - without God - the right path.
Any other road edge - the end of self-deception,
End of truth-seeking, end of damned lies.

The secret is that you can't see it
When you're on the road...
Validity of your idea
Unable to appreciate

But from his next venture
Lost the joys of Spring.

Well, in the end everything will be very simple:
What nonsense on paper
Gave freedom of speech to create!
9/9/1984

I DON'T WANT AND CANNOT...
I don't want to and can't read aloud
All that I silently pour out on paper ...
When it sounds that I silently express,
Everything is false. I don't want to lie to you!
Do not demand, friends, do not force,
Do not wait, from my trembling lips
The pain and trembling of languishing feelings will not gush ...
Reading silently, accept the lines,
I hope I avoid falsehood in them.

* * *
Is he a poet who is not proud,
Neither the day nor the hour of your destiny?
Is he a poet who does not bow
For once, before the name - "love"?!

* * *
"Vanity of vanities, everything is vanity,"
said the Ecclesiastes,
And only poetry will risk
Whisper back to him:
- "Everything, but only - not me."

* * *
Writing poetry is so easy
Tune in to the poetic wave
So...
The lines themselves pour from the sky onto paper!

* * *
write poetry
I can every day
Tirelessly, cheekily...
But who needs to know
Know how you are for hours
Spins relentlessly
Restless earthly whirl?!

;
* * *
Not lines in iambs, meaning or rhymes,
I was lured into poetry
Only the anguish of a bizarre tide,
They called me a quiet, gentle rustle...

Waves of sparkling feelings
On the golden sands, the coasts were painted
One Divine, life-giving word to people,
Written by them in different languages...
There was this word - Her Majesty Sorrow!
11/25/2001
* * *
Poetry is my calling
my purpose
That for which on earth
destiny commanded me.

* * *
I ask you not to judge me for free writing,
To accept advice, instructions, wishes - I am ready.
But to translate all this into action - I can not:
Too expensive and fragile
Feeling every word of mine
1.12.2001
* * *
Poetry in me is from God,
And prayers of Gratitude, Majesty and Glory, -
Him for it! With all my heart, soul and mind,
On my knees, I Exalt!
1.12.2001
* * *
I am an Aries of Christ's flock,
Finding himself in poetry.

* * *
Weak, quiet, silent breath,
Tree leaves rustling loudly
whispered poetry in my ear,
Drawing out the lines of my feelings
From the mind and heart on the sly...
1.12.2001

* * *
When you want to cry
Take a pen in your hands and write
Write, giving free rein to your feelings,
Write about everything that hurts
What drained your soul, your brains...
And when you stop crying,
Everything written, do not be lazy, read it.
Rip it up or burn it to ashes
Or maybe - mercifully save for a long time ...
11/26/1984

* * *
Of my written poems I word-for-word,
I can't remember by heart...
And even those that in the last minute
So tremulously and passionately I composed.
Just chest pain...
A broken heart bleeds
And not a drop of blood pours from it,
And sadness my burning verses.
Poems that quench the thirst of mortals
Poems that saturate the hungry mind,
Poems that easily melt in the wind
Poems that, if you forget, you lose a little.
And, remembering, maybe - do not be sad ...

I would not go astray from the right path -
After all, you only want one!
11/26/1984

* * *
Beautiful words game - a fun idea,
They sometimes lie in my poems ...
Them, falling on white sheets,
The Muse carries it to its place,
Depriving their memory and reason,
So that they do not remember their creator.
08/07/1985

* * *
I do not rewrite my poems amateur,
Let someone else do it
And if no one has a desire,
Paper, written by me with paste,
Always good for something
Even if it's somewhere in the home.
10/17/1984

* * *
Don't touch my lines, don't
Don't waste your soul
They contain unfinished remains.
Days of childhood, youth, former life, -
What I still live now
That protects from noise and bad weather.
Scraps of former joy and happiness
Splinters are flying around ...
The world of fairy tales disappeared without a trace,
Childish games, friendship and love,
And Musketeers' loyalty to goodness...

Where is the devotion to the cherished everything,
Where did you lose your role, Actor?
10/21/1984

* * *
To the canons of all versification,
I'd rather take liberties.
I can't get along with the thrown lasso,
Rather, I will part with the Muse.
Let me be that - "not in fashion."
I will get a lot of attacks,
Well, what can I do, I'll get used to it,
This is not the first time in life!
7.12.2001

* * *
For my life lived, not easy,
I have already served science in full,
Now I am indebted to poetry,
And I feel like she is waiting for me.
12/18/2001

* * *
For each line in the answer,
I am a stubborn realist of my words,
I am the ashes burning in hope
That the lines will find understanding.
Strings sparkle in my veins,
Consciousness generates thought
And enough for everyone who wants
Love and warmth of my soul.
05/8/1986



* * *
My heart asks not a pulse count,
And my mind does not just give birth to a thought,
And everything in me lives with poetry,
And in the veins instead of warm red blood,
The words of my poems flow, play...
7.12.2001

* * *
Like the Bible instead of any person,
No one else will read
So are your individual verses, poet,
No one else can write in life!
10.2001

* * *
I myself am not a dream, I am only Samson,
And I am not catfish, and I am on "he"
And if I swim in verses
That in order to put out seriously
There is a blazing fire in them of my feelings.
10.2001

* * *
I'm like crazy, crazy!
Such a night brings sometimes
Luckily, it won't last long...
The mind will wake up in the morning, as always,
And everything will return to its original place,
And the lines of the terrible night that has flown away,
They lay down on the sheet, lived until the morning ...
I am filled with the joy of victory:
Again the mind leads me!


What about the night? Is it cheating, right?! - I dont know,
But the memory of the past is heavy ...
03/06/1986

CHALLENGES OF GROWTH
"He will not seek victories,
He is waiting for the higher beginning
He was increasingly defeated
To grow in response to him"
R.M. Rilke

Reread your creations
To be honest, I don't always succeed.
I fix hastily, as I burn ...
I will be grateful to fate if I
Will let go at the end of a few days,
To reread your past insolence,
And to be ill with youth again.
Perhaps a lot of marriage on the sheets,
And on my favorite punch cards,
And what some once said ...
So, it means life can repeat itself
On the evolvent of higher consciousness,
Leaving a trace of knowledge of the earth,
What link can a person be?!
I understand judging myself
On this issue, it is impossible
The path traveled is not easy to evaluate ...
But still everyone should do it!
18/19. 03.1986




* * *
I am often accused of
That I am silent and say little,
Well, well, let my letter
Make up for my silence!
18/19. 03.1986

* * *
Do not touch, do not disturb my lines!
I urge you to handle with care
So as not to disturb the quiet sadness! ..
They are a lot of grief, tears, sadness,
And brought some joy...
You can share them with me.
24/25.03.1986

* * *
If anyone finds out
At least from me, what I write -
I'm afraid I can't write anymore...

That's why I'm silent
I write and I carry pain in my chest,
But how long can I?
So many around,
Who destroys my peace
And their number multiplies every hour,
Yes, not by the day, but by the hour!







* * *
Your admirers, Poetry,
Less and less collects benefits ...
Are there fewer poets?
Or today everyone is not up to you?
It looks like it's a pity
Today you are not in fashion ...
09/03/1986
;
HEART SOUNDS

WARNING
- Don't love me!

Who will meet me
Will he be friends with me?
Who will befriend me
Does he recognize me?
Who knows me
Will he love me?

And who will love me
He will die with me.
- Don't love me
Have pity on yourself!
09/26/84

I DON'T LOVE YOU WITHOUT SAD
Forgive me, because sadness
suits you better...
But I don't want to be sad!
The wrong side of sadness is bile,
Mysteriously dumb.
The storm shattered the sky
And my heart stops,
Your laughter is unbearable
Lip lift was not broken.
But somewhere far away
The sea of feelings raged
By ship, it's easy
You were getting further and further -
Away, into the world of longing,
Mysteries and sadness
And the wave of your hand
Called rainbow gave ...
Never burning evil
Didn't make me sad.
Mouth, barely faded
Pretty lucky.
And a whirlwind that has flown -
Don't get to the point!
Sweeping everything along the way
Will not carry away passions
But whims will awaken ...
And no strength to be found
And white doves
Your destiny will not.
Many winters will pass
Summer will not give fun ...
The enemy is time for a man,
And don't shake your finger...
To him the prayer of the poet:
- Dispel her sadness - the villain!
09/13/1984

* * *
Whether fate, chance or time,
They will bring you down - I don’t know
And there will be joy or burden
From a meeting in the far side

* * *
Why are you walking my path
Cause I'm not right for you?
You can't turn fate to yourself -
I don't get it!


I met you by chance in my life
No need to grumble at fate:
The wrong page in the prospectus
You stand - let me flip through!

* * *
I confess, in my lifetime,
I have seen a lot...
Don't touch my line
Frighten off a good start!
09.1984

* * *
Let me tell you, you have changed a lot
I'm starting to notice this:
You have become more affectionate, diligent, and ... luxurious,
It just got harder to understand you.
Over the years, the life of other people warps,
Making them more insidious and harmful.
On the contrary, it leads you to mind
You become brighter and more tender!
09/25/1984.

IF HELP YOURSELF YOU GIVE
YOU WILL NOT WISH
Without raising your head
Without saying a word
You go into your thoughts
Not knowing otherwise.
In your difficult moments
You didn't share a word
Leafing through the days
Can't find the past...
It usually drags on all day
Goes in a long line
You sit alone
Twisting a pencil in his hands.
And thoughts only increase sadness ...
I forbid thinking
Delight for tender lips
I send a smile.
Do not frown, light up with joy,
To torment a pretty soul -
To you: - "Love!" - life dictates,
She will disturb the peace.
Don't listen to your heart
It harbors deceit
And even the mind is given:
Lighten up the fog a little...
But if help is denied
You outlined yourself
Do not fill your eyes with longing for friends -
For the selfishness of the meta...
09/26/1984

STEP ON MY HEART
Step on my heart, step on
I will write this for you!
You will pinch my soul in the crack in the door,
I'll sing this to you!
Take away my crazy thoughts,
I will tell you this!
Stretch my life with a wolf's howl,
I whisper in my ear!
Don't walk, don't make noise, don't wake up!
Do not destroy, calm the pain of the soul!


I'll run away - catch my feelings:
I wanted to tell you a lot!
11/28/2001

BELLS
Love bells are ringing
Poets are called to heavenly voices,
The wind carries away their voices,
Bringing love to saving covenants.
Once again the bells are ringing
And fill my heart with bliss...
I would like to dissolve in these calls,
I would turn into these calls.
I ask you, bells,
Take away my spiritual pain,
In the heart of evil feelings lull
Peace, heavenly peace!
Bells are ringing in the distance...
Poets are called to heavenly voices,
The wind carries away their voices,
Bearing love for saving covenants.
Bells, ringing tirelessly
Warm human souls and wake up,
Love stolen from people - return!
11/28/2001

* * *
Your face features
I've known for a long time
They have not lost
Former marvelous beauty,
What have you always been proud of?
For unnecessary words
You hid from me
Hide all your vices
Calling and beckoning.
I heard an unintelligible call
The game won't save you
Or make your way to happiness
Or the time for melancholy will come.
11/23/1984

* * *
It won't take a day, maybe two
And you yourself will perfectly understand everything,
The riddle will end for you
You will understand that life is not worth living without loving ...
What kind of hearts end - your eyes ?!
I'll never know, of course...
And to nothing! .. And I met you, -
And so, I write, pulling the leaves ...
11/23/1984

LIMITS OF BEING
Will you ever understand everything
The reason for that groan
That proudly walks the earth
Under the name ...
Love.
Understand my sadness and pain
I am tired of this.
And full of lies - if you please understand,
Artful, daily.
I can't find myself
It's cold to the point of anger
That temper - I'm friends with a donkey,
That - "take care of the bones!"
You despised, and right,
And she called me a fool...
my stupid head
Didn't notice that!
Now catching your nervous step
I'm happy and satisfied
But everything hides the secrets of darkness
I don't want to lose you!
For stealth, a reliable shield
I am grateful to fate
He will truly protect me
From evil, with misfortune paired!
But suffering cannot be avoided
Only crumbs - consolation,
Love and hate are on the way
One hundred faces - from birth!
11/26/1984

ARE YOU ALONE IN YOURSELF?
- One - not one, mine - not mine!
I scream at the top of my voice, the pain is not melting.
Not sparing myself, I tear out desperately
Sheets from a notebook mercilessly.
I repeat, I'm sure in full:
- Are you alone in yourself ?!
Thoughts come back to you
One word can't describe you!

- One - not one, mine - not mine!
I scream at the top of my voice, the pain is not melting.
11/26/1984




* * *
Forgive me, my betrayal:
I love poetry more than you.
My poems are my treasure
And more happiness
After love and devotion to God—
In poetry I want to find.
1.12.2001

WE HAVE SUCH A FUNNY LIFE
- Well, what about you, you seem to be embarrassed?
Believe me, there is nothing new in words,
As there is no lie in the words of my confession,
That laughter is our best good.
Laughter is the safest medicine
What was free and free
Sick humanity is given ...
But all earthly medicines are more expensive,
I only have your opinion.
What is the best feeling in the world:
Laughter at life or at yourself?
Are you looking for the right answer?
Play everything as it is given to understand.
Go ahead, but just laugh more!
Laugh until you feel sad...

And you get sad -
Keep smiling!
Then maybe
In life, you will finally be lucky.
11/26/1984



RED CLOVE IN THE SNOW
You are like a red carnation to me
On white, untouched snow,
And they took you away that evening
Doubt in unbridled fervor.
The burning cold causes a groan,
And for a while the heart stops,
Who will support him now?
I'm cold without your hugs
And are you hot in the snow?!
Let me pick you up from the snow
Greedily put to your lips.
Petals glowing bright!
Be sure that with your cold
I will be able to cool your ardor in an instant!
In response, only melts "no" along the strings of the violin
The long-suffering bow rattles...

Oh, my tears, my tears! How not to burn
You are still not my saviors!
4.12.1984

DO NOT LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN!
"And he is no longer the same as he was in the beginning,
Alien destinies, becoming his fate,
Recognizing him, they take him away ... "
R.M. Rilke

Dealing with your fate carelessly,
I accidentally forgot to close the door of the soul ...
I, who waited for the chance resignedly and for a long time,
A thief managed to easily get into your hiding place.
I penetrated in broad daylight unnoticed,
And shame and conscience as if having lost,
Now I will live in you forever
But it's completely invisible to you.
From now on, I don't care what you will be
talk and think about me,
And I will not grieve in vain,
Let the views all change in you.
I know only one thing, moreover - iron:
Wherever and with whom now you would not go,
Now and forever - you are mine forever!
Don't change what you don't know!
I burdened myself on a hard way,
Once in your clear, bright labyrinth,
But the choice was the only one possible -
Without an exit, but forever bright, the path ...
Here I enjoy enough before death,
Transparent depth of spiritual depths,
Fanned by a fragrant light wind,
From the tenderness of the eternal numb.
I'm sinking slowly but surely
Into the depths of your virgin nights...
I have dreams at night, and I fly -
I soar like a migratory bird.
I soar among your desired passions,
Meeting the starlight of your eyes,
Soar, wrapped in your misty dream,
Among your unrealizable ideas.
I gently whisper the lines
In order not to show yourself in you,
So that our souls are not disturbed by the sound,
And free to live in a bright labyrinth ...
I have already said: - You are my spiritual,
The only and bright labyrinth,
I'm not going to look for the way out,
It is gratifying to be mistaken and lost in it!
And if suddenly by chance, unexpectedly,
In your soul you will catch me -
Do not blame for my sudden impulse:
It is given infrequently to penetrate into the soul!
Waiting ahead on a long, long road,
All the charms of the mysterious soul,
On the path of life, a glorious segment, -
I - earthly can no longer be found! ..

I'm sorry, I left you without saying goodbye,
I'm sorry, I exchanged you on the earth,
To the dreams of a deep and desirable soul,
To the bright, endless labyrinth!..

And whose fault is it? Don't leave open
At least for a moment, the soul's front door! ..
09/11/1984

AGATE BEADS OF HAPPINESS
The tears have dried up
Lines of rhyme lost
Taste of meaning escapes from life,
But I'm still looking for you
And waking up at night
I call you without words...
I beg you, at least a little,
Be brave, don't be afraid to try
You are the feelings of my piercing rays.
I run on new continuous lines,
restless letter,
And day after day I string, as if on a thread,
An enchanting cascade of words calling you, -
Agate beads of happiness.
But you are still dumb.
Well, wake up at last and have pity,
Because of you I came to nights without sleep.
Instead of a beloved, hugging a pillow,
I don't get tired of going a little crazy
Maybe it's because I'm tired of life
Or maybe from what I need
Barren clouds of feelings thickened.

Don't love, don't love
If you don't want, don't want
But goodbye give a smile,
And let me just wish:
So that you are lucky to find it soon,
Your love - your sorrow...
12/20/1985

AFTERWORD: "DID NOT MEET"
Here is the New Year which time in a row
Unceremoniously in life comes ...
Fireworks bloomed - a parade of colored lights,
An uninterrupted shooting rumbles ...
My soul is silent - the whole cannonade of feelings
She "shot" a long time ago during her lifetime,
A long "non-meeting" of you and me
I've been oppressed all my life...
New Year's Eve candles are melting,
Days and years of life - in great demand ...
How many years have I been waiting for you -
I have no strength, and the question torments me:

Where did I go wrong and lost you?
Maybe when he was born?
I do not understand, and I know only one thing:
I have become old, and my strength is fading.
I'll probably die soon
It's not destiny - I see you ...
I have met many in my life
But I was looking for and waiting for you - alone in the world,
And for my words and feelings - I'm responsible!
And if you call your life with only one word,
That, for sure, will say: "I did not meet", and "I do not expect",
“I’m not waiting anymore,” but I was waiting for one in the world! ..
I can't find you in this life...
12/20/1985

* * *
Let your victory be
Believe me I don't need her
I would like to reach the top of summer -
Everything will become clear.
I will find you victorious,
And silently begin to observe ...
For this cherished joy,
I'm ready to lose to you.
01/19/2002

* * *
I'm afraid to hurt you with a word,
But, apparently, that cannot be avoided.
After all, I dared your eyes - like two sunflowers
On blue marble - one day to see.
And I realized in a moment one, I finally
That from which the soul languished all his life,
And it sounded cheerful in me,
A heart animated by the tide.
7.12.2001

CONDEMNATION
I parted with love
Although you are still there...

I'll do it differently, smarter:
I'll keep love with me, but you ...
Loving you in my heart and condemning,
Forever I drive away from myself.
Will break away from  heart
Another shard
And the pain will pierce through
And my heart will get smaller...
And the tears, as if wiser,
They don't flow anymore.
Suddenly losing its meaning,
Dried out...

But in life it's always like this:
What has come is gone...
So now: dead
What once was born.

Gone to nothing
Disappeared, dissolved...
29/30.07.1986

THE WALL
I did love you
What have you done, why?
And who did you change me to?
You overturned love
I spilled everything, completely, to the bottom,
And at least what? ..
Never mind!
You don't deserve ink or paste
No punch cards, no pen.
And it is necessary: how quickly,
Your affection for me is gone
How quickly the false tears dried up!
Only lips remember, probably a kiss,
Which ... and did not take place at all!
No, I don't miss you anymore
That I was indecisive - I regret it, right!
I was afraid to be guilty
At least in something...
How was it there, with the unborn?
- I was afraid to die and from that I was not born,
Isn't it a "weighty" excuse?
08/14/1986

JUDGE BUT DON'T JUDGE!
Would you like to talk to me?
Walk the path first
Which I passed:
To love, not to be loved;
Alien wounds
Take it to heart;
The other one was wrong
I keep the answer;
Shed other people's tears;
Toil and suffer...
And how does it hurt -
Being a scoundrel is not for yourself!
Walk my path
To understand me
And all questions will disappear at once,
Everything will fall into place.
One thing remains unclear:
How could not drive away
I love from the soul?!
They don't leave me
Pain, tears and love
To you and for you
My patient, devoted reader...
03/17/1991
FIND A WOMAN!
Find a woman with a more feminine soul than me!
(Women are now transferred?)
Find a love more selfless than mine!
(Love is now translated? ..)
Find the soul, sensitivity, pain!
Perhaps at least the last one was found! ..
I conjure - find a woman,
Soul more feminine than me
Not for me, but for yourself...
No, I'm not babbling!
And I only ask for one thing:
Do not distract, beckoning to yourself,
Until I meet... a woman
Soul more feminine than me!...
She and I are a destined couple,
Carriers of Heavenly Fire...
- My love, great joy
Soul more devoted and feminine than me!
03/19/1991

DO NOT RUSH!
Oh, why did you "infect" me?
I fell ill with you then ...
And then retreated with tears,
And now I understand that in vain!
Those happy days won't come back
And I can't find you in another.
The pain in my heart won't go away
And I'm just a meeting for you on the way...
But, wait, for God's sake, wait,
At least for a moment warm your attention,
Let your heart beat with joy:
Don't rush, don't rush, don't rush!
Well, I'm sorry, I swear it's by accident
Threw us into that crackling fire
He burned the two of us mercilessly,
But you dealt with the burns.
Neither time nor the wind can
Take away my feelings for you
And the suffering of love is everything in the world
For two, I agree to carry!
No, my soul is not healed,
Pain tore her to pieces
I keep hurting you
You, love, forgive my moans!
Oh Lord! You hear my cries
Return my tenderness and reality!
It hurts to see and feel in color
How unforgiving life is...
26/27.03.1991

I, Alas, was not destined
I love! And what?
I was forbidden to love!
Is that possible?!
Women's heart and beauty
Sparkling eye,
Lips swollen with honey
Your freshness...
Was it possible
Resist yourself?
So I burned like a moth,
In a hot, alluring flame -
The light blinded me at once,
Life changed smile
Rushing into the clouds...
But got lower
Totally incomprehensible...
I am defeated, once again,
And defeated - in the clouds!
True: the outcome of battles
Not set by fields -
Need to be able!

How to realize without pain:
I am alone in this world
I overtook all the living:
I succeeded in my life
Look into fate from heaven!
I see the ban, the irresponsibility...
How can I love?!
05/05/1991

MEDITATIVE
MAYBE LIFE
Maybe life
What has become the past
Was it more beautiful and truer?
And what came to today
The summary of my days?
Slipped into the past health and study,
Smiles, tears and love, a liar is hope.
Friends left - some in silence, some a hero,
And a lot of things merged with a lump of grief.
All good beginnings go away,
Instead, evil hung over us...
But is this what
What were you striving for as a youngster?

No, everything is not right, all life is the other way around.
And maybe the roads of torment
I will find that gap that swallowed good,
Or maybe everything is carried by the constellation,
Rising above our destiny?
Learn from him:
What awaits in unlived days?
Another question before me
Or just a continuation of torment?!
So where to look for the answer and in what?
Perhaps where the wind does not walk
Neither a dark night, nor a burning day?!
The price of the answer is life,
And life will be valued for a penny,
If you don't sing songs!
That is the question,
That's the answer
All truth and all lies!
Live while you live
And rejoice, fool, to half tears,
For the sun that always rises
For all others
When you leave them!
Why do you live, why were you born?
You don't have to lie to yourself about anything.
Live for today or tomorrow
But lift up a man with words,
And believe that he is innocent of anything!
09/18/1984

WANTING TO
Escape from bad weather
Wanting to get away from the bad weather
Get away from chaos, from fame and noise,
I go to the sky,
To hear the call of the world
In the land of lost desires
In a land of bizarre lands,
I find people's souls
I'm ready to give them warmth.
I'm leaving without leaving a trace
Among the traces of my people,
And flying away, I'll take away one day,
previously received from him.
I would like to leave - and not stay,
And take misfortune with you
And on Earth to part with your loved ones,
I would like - only unearthly.
I confess, I'm only guilty of one thing,
I lived next to you in the white world
And just in time, not late at all,
I will redeem her, though timidly!..
09/19/1984

* * *
I'm only to blame for the fact that I live,
And my life, I swear
I will redeem in full.

DO NOT WASTE GROUND!
Although I didn't travel much,
I searched everywhere I could
But about saving the answer,
Couldn't find myself.
Having lived a little and not bleakly,
I sometimes lost myself in search,
Having spent a lot of money and effort,
I was left with almost nothing.
But I found charm in the answer,
It makes you forget about death
Despising the earthly cycle itself:
- Don't rush to give advice to others!
Comfort yourself and try to sit down:
- Your salvation is in you,
Have it on hand
Pen, kipu paper and flute.
And after, - the main thing:
Don't be afraid to run aground!
But if no one is charmed,
The "carousel" I proposed,
And I will not hear the warm response of the heart, -
Don't waste this shoal!
Empty time will quickly dissolve
And come to visit...
destroyer - hops!
09/19/1984.

PEOPLE DIE FROM THE DEATH OF LOVED ONE
People die from the death of loved ones
And the death of friends tears hearts apart,
Otherwise, not a single disease in the world,
Until the century we will not bring the end!
Ridiculous case, knowing all about it,
In practice, uses the rights
Without making you wait for an answer,
And miracles bring us rumor.
Not knowing the direction of the blow,
Pillows for falling without carrying,
We fall from hops, from intoxication,
From the bullet... silently. Or voice...
An absurd chance rules over us,
And someone is whole, counting the floors,
Someone spared the evil flame,
And someone, as luck would have it, survived ...
And the darkness tightens the net,
Curling the arms and legs of the victims,
With fear we are waiting for the World Third,
Evil to break stretched the nerve.
Man passes by man,
Bloody night and daylight
And Chance travels through the century,
Ringing an ominous bell! ..
09/26/1984

* * *
It is said: - There is no evil without good!
Perhaps that is how it is...
But the whole point is
What is bad and what is good!

* * *
I beg you, oh life,
Take it easy even for a moment
Pandemonium of thoughts
About my abandoned destiny!
11/23/1984

* * *
Essence is mine
there is my Pain... and my feelings,
without which I am far from me.


* * *
Significant and majestic is not me, and not my poems,
And my Pain, my tormented feelings...
But, by the way, are they mine, and only mine?!

ABOUT ME
Who made money, who made a career,
Everyone arranged life - as best they could,
And I wrote, hoped and believed
In the dream of unfulfilled love.
He wrote poems, stories, aphorisms,
Locked himself from people for hours, from their deceit,
At night, he ran away from the bustle of life,
To give freedom to unfamiliar feelings,
To completely surrender to them, at least for a while,
In order not to prevent them from pouring out and being embodied in my thoughts.
I've always been embarrassed to admit my feelings out loud...

CHILDHOOD CLOUDS GO
Empty eyes, bitter smile on the lips,
Life scorched look to the ground ...
Blowing soft white smoke
Memories of the past - childhood clouds.
The wind of life is playing over me,
Drives them further away from me
Never see them again
A pale memory will remain alone.
Yes, memory is something that is not for sale,
Only with life is she taken away ...
Joy and memories fade away
Clouds of childhood are leaving...
Your eyes change color
Hair turns gray, head bald.
And suddenly plunge into the soul boldly
Unsolicited arrow...

Ahead and behind - the road,
From nowhere to nowhere!
What's ahead - we do not understand
And behind one alarm:
Clouds of childhood are leaving!

Hold on, my friend, be bolder on the road,
What will happen, will not pass ...
12/3/1984

* * *
Do not trust impulses of pity,
They are capable of lying
There are "masters" without a little -
Play for pity!
12/26/1984

cherished dream
You make sure first that this chaos
Comes far from you
You make sure that life in this world
Not worth a penny on a market day.
- What? I'm wrong?!
Then hurry up, discard
All my bullshit...
All the way to the last line...
You changed your mind? - Maybe I'm right?
Then tell me why God pleases
Witnesses of this life - like us?
Why cruelty to the sky
What, it wasn't saturated with blood?!

Perhaps in a distant world
There's a hard plan for us
And we love in vain
Those light blue skies...
Cherished dream:
Death on a clear day
When the grasshoppers ring in the green grass,
When carps leave the leash,
Boldly ripping off the fisherman's tackle.
When a good bite, and the rustle of reeds,
When the meadows bloom and the rainbow plays
And the young man who finally dared
He embraces his beloved,
Kissing for the first time, rosy lips
Berry taste absorbs...
When the bee buzzes so sweetly
Diligently collecting nectar from flowers,
When the birds chirp in the sky
And swallows captivate with aerobatics.

When life is everywhere
And different colors - darkness ...

On such a day - ordinary, serene -
I would like to die quietly.
To refute skepticism before refute,
Wash tired eyes with tears
And they replace the mute lips:
- "In this world, life -
Not so bad
With their difficulties -
Beautiful and wonderful!"
Covenant to my friends:
"Go through life with dignity,

Get over the bullshit
And live in "tomorrow!"
2.01.1985

* * *
The Holy Fathers say:
The fall of man begins then,
When he starts to think and imagine
What something he is.
As much as I don't want to fall today,
For what happened to me seventeen years ago.
12/15/2001

* * *
“And I, like everyone else, did not escape retribution,” wrote the Great Dante.
And I only with great regret, will have to realize:
Retribution and I can not escape!
Do not forget that we are responsible for everything:
For thoughts and deeds, and for your words,
Which shoot cannons more trenchantly ...
Especially for those words that are in the lines
poured out on my sheets.
Forgive me Lord, if I
So recklessly and bitterly blundered,
Not knowing the mistakes
What will I write, what am I writing about now,
For the fact that I once wrote from pain.
12/15/2001

* * *
Life is a big all-consuming Ocean,
The Church is a saving ship,
to which you need to swim, get.


Poetry is one of the boats that help man
get to the rescue ship.
12/15/2001

* * *
Memories rear - my paradise ...
I feel good in paradise
But where it's good, there's no place for us,
And not born for myself
And not for happiness man.
Path of life
It only pops up occasionally...
Human life is the black box of an airplane:
While you live, others are not interested;
If you die, they will seize, open, decipher!
And maybe after that they will understand
What suffered, how a man died ...
And before that: go - walk, go ahead - suffer,
And nobody else cares...
What about the future? - No, it doesn't scare me,
Just a little disturbing
And I wonder anxiously:
Can miracles happen again?
12/29/1985

* * *
Fear of death...
For him, retribution is life!

* * *
Of all the living, the saints are children,
Of the adults - old people who have reached
Heights of absolute knowledge
And the secrets of the silences of their souls.
05/8/1986
* * *
Children of nature, "remember heaven's advice"
Love and respect each other
And do not grow old without each other.
You are alone on Earth, in your Galaxy,
Just like everyone is alone in himself,
Live happily, all the best to you on Earth!
05/8/1986

* * *
More important than the goal is the creative process,
May you not reach, perhaps, to the goal, -
At least you will find happiness in walking.

GLASS JAR
Forgotten and abandoned by fate,
I'm going deeper and deeper in life
A person who understands the meaning of life
I haven't, and probably never will.
It's all right, of course.
"Everyone dies alone"
Yes, so as not to offend others,
For those who understand life to the end leave.
Programmed people walk
Who is good and who is evil
The glass cap will break
Which helps to survive -
And the depressurization result:
Everything is falling apart,
And the chaos born of the explosion
Events are dictated by the course.
01/26/1986


HOW NOT TO GET CRAZY?
Lies that you are forgotten, a departed friend,
Lies that there is justice in the world,
Lies that I can be happy
It's a lie that on Earth ... there is life!
Everything is amazing
Everything is relative,
Feelings are burning
Thought is killable.
Pain is unrelenting
Power is exhausted
Blood is exhausted..
Life is like a hostage
What's happening...
How not to go crazy?
Making a choice
Between love and beauty.
And knowing: under a charming mask
Death hides well
And crosses out our miracle -
Life...
03/11/1986

NOT EVERYONE CAN UNDERSTAND
Although with you I am nice, but alas,
You can't solve my problems
Everyone's problems are mine
And stay with me forever.
Life is a vanity of vanities and forms,
previously unknown phenomena,
But the essence of the flow of Life is unchanged:
Knowing and not knowing, people leave,
In a hurry to know from the forces of the latter,
Sometimes noticing the stupidity of being...
Sadly, the Earth is spinning!
Not everyone can understand and bequeath,
Getting ready to leave
Your sadness and bitterness
Your resentment of life.
And we ourselves will have to
Experience something like this...
And I've been sick for a year now
Sadly I know, and there is no one to save! ..
03/13/1986

* * *
I saw human tears
Hearts broken, burned to ashes
And hatred and envy, a sea of evil...
I drank human grief to the bottom.
And life is long and yet ... short,
And there is little room for love in it,
She has big changes.
We have to choose between.
The truth is bitter sweeter to the poet,
Than false peace and grace ...
In addition to human - our duty
Obey natural laws.
I loved you, my death
But life has made me insignificant...
I try not to hurt you
I dare not torment you any longer.
It is wiser to refrain from the unknown,
My silence is a sacrifice of many blessings
Oh heaven! I dare to ask you:
For grief to people from above to compensate:
Love is healthy!
Health is sick!
Eternal memory - to the dead!
Living - long life!
But life is cruel and treacherous...
My cherished prayer
Please do it!
04/12/1986

* * *
Abandoned by everyone
Appeared to the mercy of fate
And I do not expect mercy from the latter,
Full of memories
Today's story.
They  just  help  me  live  ...
Such is the irony of fate:
Once you love it, go away
Hated - stay!
Anthropogenic world
Worse than natural
Even though man is her creation...
All died out long ago.
And hatred and resentment
And indifference spreads curls
On my soul getting cold.
Whether I want it or not is an empty question,
Stop the current in me
Only death can!
04/24/1986.

* * *
"After all, the role of the subconscious is to act contrary to the consciousness and remain unnoticed at the same time, and when the consciousness determines the catch, a scandal begins with itself."
Levy
"If the stars are lit, does it mean that someone needs it ?!"
If they make a person "such and such",
Is this also necessary for someone ?!,
Let those who do not agree with me,
Before you argue - be silent for a minute!
Even if I'm wrong and lying
There is in every lie - and a grain of truth,
To understand me a little,
Listen to Rachmaninoff
In cloudy weather or in the rain,
But only - alone.
Find strength and patience for this,
And I assure you, you won't regret it!
05/19/1986

UNCLEAR!
I'm full of your hopelessness
From your torment, my feelings burned,
There is no happiness on Earth for me! Not!
Why did misfortune visit you?!
There are no such tears, no feelings,
No voice, no facial expressions
that could express
That tension of feelings
That take away strength without a trace ...
I feel sorry for you!
To tears, to howling anguish,
To the scream that drowns out the thunders,
When a spark breaks half the sky...
Death is difficult to accept philosophically.
Years go by, life - that's right ...
People close, enemies leave...
And wander yourself - you don’t know how much!
Life is a test of feelings
Souls and bodies... - That's right!

Then "veal tenderness" - why?!
Where does it come from?! Unclear!
3/4.12.1986

* * *
The sick will not cure the sick,
And evil will not do good,
Sadness, do not make others laugh ...
Don't expect help.
She only comes by chance
As a result of events beyond their control.
Cowardice - from the disease,
Health is from nature
Woe - from the mind ...
From chance - misfortune or happiness,
And joy comes from ignorance of being...
01/10/1987

"YES-YES, NO-NO, WHAT IS ABOVE THAT - FROM THE EVIL"
The soul is full of sadness and longing,
Where are you? Where are you people?
I've been waiting for a long time on the way,
But I, having not met love,
I can't leave everything.
I had to involuntarily extend
business trip in this world,
Consciousness is increasingly yielding
The arena of action - the soul:
- "You act, I'll stay in the shade" -
The mind wisely speaks,
It's impossible in this world
To love someone fully."
Three "golden skates" of fate,
Love and jealousy
Let's not forget: morals,
And the denial of denials
Here are opposite knots...
The more you read
The less you want
Create with your pen!

I hate opposites unity!
Metaphysics - Happy!
Dialectic - Unfortunate!
Clear skies - to you, Earth!
22/23.01.1987

I WANTED A WOMAN...
I was looking for a woman with both heart and mind
I was looking not for the bed - for the soul,
I was exhausted from heavy searches,
I searched, and yet I found it!
However, I met
What I wasn't looking for
It happens in life
You will find what you are not looking for!
And what you are going for, what you are striving for,
Suddenly slips out of hand...
But, I must admit, I'm very lucky
And, having met, I realized that I had suffered for her,
My love was not alone
Forever with wisdom she grew together ...
The find was called Lubomudry!
She doesn't really solve the problem.
Mine, and no one else's -
She removes it from the agenda,
And gives relief to souls ...
Please don't misunderstand me!
But people are looking for those who are not looking for them,
To these troubling questions,
Lubomudria can fully answer you ...
I was looking for a woman
With heart and mind...
Searched for her, found another
Love of Wisdom is her name.
05/10/1987

WHO LOVES...
My friend, they did not understand me ...
I taught myself, I taught others...
Worked, valued - did not understand ...
Loved with all my heart and soul
Offended...
Who loves - he does not offend!
5/6.04.1989

ABOUT LIFE
In memory of Alexander Borisovich and
Boris Moiseevich Kutsenok
People are dying like flies
thereby killing others,
Happy years pass
Around everything is changing rapidly.
The heart squeezes in a vice,
Pinching pain, and don't wait
To erase all this from memory,
And to get lost in lies...
Nothing will pass without a trace
The secrets of the soul will be revealed
On the day of the brightest happiness
They will fly over you with a thunder of screaming
Unhealed life wounds.
In a pernicious cry, involuntary
Run into death
Unstretched seams!
01/15/1990

* * *
Oh, the loneliness of the soul
The greatness of suffering, torment and pain! ..
The size of my pain -
How big is she
I'm on a par with her
And life does not seem short to me -
I don't see much light in it...
That is my tragedy.
In meetings - former, future,
I see the hand of the sad Muse of sorrow,
And silence in broad daylight
Heard me in the roar and noise of everyday life ...
Life has no answers for me
The poet does not send his line ...
I don't believe this silence
Poetry is immortal! I write myself!
As before, sick: I love,
But, as before, we do not like ...
I'm drawn to everyone and everything,
The soul, perhaps, is powerless here ...
Prudent unexample,
I live among you - one such.
And I'm left with one thing:
Thanks to all of you who lived nearby,
Whom he loved, gave good,
For being so...
09.1991

CIVIL
THIS JUST IS LUCKY
Life has beaten us many times...
For our children's vocations,
For faith in the happiness of shooting stars,
For a hare that escaped into the bushes - love.
For the devotion carried away by kindred souls,
For the zeal that beat in waves against the pier,
For our hopes, like waiting rooms,
For islands of joy shining
Flashes of a direct hit
For the pain of loss crowned with a subtitle,
For all our naive dreams
Soul sunsets of starvation,
Dawns of unclosed borders.
For long wanderings in search
Dissolved children's orbits.
Who survived in that thresher,
That's just lucky.
And those who got out alive
You can't call them alive
They crushed human souls,
Now what are you going to get from them?
Days pass, years follow
Our descendants will replace us,
But all the past troubles
For them - a hundred times more dangerous!
So, what are you, blinded descendants?!.
All at once you went crazy
And you completely forgot about us ...
But no, don't expect condescension.
For everything you have to be in the answer,
And this, rightly, is not "all the same" ...
Leave your wills in an envelope -
But I promise you that this
No one will justify you.
You better gather your mind
Mistakes of the past
You don't keep accounts
And don't ruin the future "tomorrow"
Leaving your sad trace on the planet ...
All earthlings are responsible for life,
And for myself, and for you, and for him,
For Faith, For Hope, For Love.
09/25/1984

* * *
How many times will the clock strike twelve at night?
In order not to lie to you, I will say: - I can forget!

* * *
Who to deceive? Is it yourself? Outsiders?!
Everything has its end...
Our lives are passing by.
What is in it - do not count, do not sing!
The time is coming - do not play the fool,
Keep an answer for everything
Tricks won't help
And only one dream overcomes:
Collect the rest of the force and be in time
Life lived joyfully sing.
I, apparently, will feel the peak at sunset,
Today I see the same goal everywhere:
Writing is not to speak out loud
To write is to heal oneself, one's country...
11/26/1984


ONCE YOU WILL BE BROKEN
You to me for the umpteenth time
You keep saying the same thing:
Lightness, flexibility, simplicity -
Companions of luck, happiness, life.
Maybe that's all it is
And you're right and a bit stubborn...
How can a person do this?
What is art, craftsmanship,
Which will be taken from him -
Simple, easy and without cheating?
Today is taken by public labor,
And tomorrow it's just - they took it away again,
Such is the law of life -
Two sides of the coin!
To keep all the things you told me
Don't live among people
Go to the shepherds, to the flocks,
Or treat like you
In the mountains of distant wounds
And forget that they go down there,
Faceless, without conscience, without morals.
Yes, it's not easy to survive next to them,
You know it very well without me
And yet you keep saying one thing...
Staying on your own is not so easy
When you're in the thick of things...
A year, two - probably do not change the essence,
In the end, be at least a titan, at least a goon,
And, anyway, everything will break in you,
At the same time, a song of joy will be sung,
And then you're nobody...
Is life really that cruel?
Let's take the honest path
We firmly believe in a good start,
We weren't built to be deceived.
And only in a life perverted by man
Deception is ultimately our true face.
4.12.1984

LIFE WITHOUT HIM
"Above the past - darkness,
Fog over the future
Humanity is mired in deceit...
The twentieth century. bloody age
What have you done, man?!
M.Dudin
Enmity between people, enmity...
The traces of relationships are swept away
Everywhere you go, traces of war,
Human hatred, resentment, intolerance
People have forgotten the best of the year ...
We continue to play mistakes
And we fall, and we break faces,
We're floundering on the edge of darkness
And we don’t want reasonable conclusions ...
And everything is so simple - like God's day.
It's high time to be able to understand
Communities of people - without God there is no!
And without Him the unity of all people
Under various strange names,
Doesn't last long at times
Although the philosopher teaches wisely.
Open our hearts to each other
And temper the evil ardor!
We ask, God, we beg


So that you extinguish the flame of wars!
Amen!
01/17/1985

BY EDUCATION I AM RUSSIAN ...
I am Russian by education,
Although according to the passport - Georgians,
Relatives also did not go to the Russians ...
School and university - I was raised like that!
Am I sorry?
To be honest,
Simultaneously: no and yes.
No, because
I am Russian by education,
And only according to the passport -
Full-fledged Georgian,
But not in nature - yes! ..
But there are, friends, and more important things:
We, all peoples, are brothers of being,
And everyone should be responsible for everything,
So that trouble does not come,
We all live in this white world
Few, happy years.
Calling for love, work and peace,
All peoples, desires are not melting,
We cannot forget, we have no right,
Heroes of our military deeds,
Not even sorry for life, so that
To exterminate the enmity of people in the world! ..
10/17/1984




MAN DOES NOT GET ON WITH PEOPLE
Celebrating the New Year alone - for the first time ...
Caught the dawn with paper and pen.
Which year in a row
Everything in life starts over:
Discord, separation, squabbles,
And a bowl full of self-deception
The enmity that destroys the minds of people,
Pierces the heart like a sword
Deep wounds leaving a mark.
And again, for the umpteenth time,
We experience the collapse of our feelings,
Feelings built for many years in a row,
And as a result, we are left
Mind-blowing emptiness.
Sorrow again torments our souls,
Carrying mutual understanding
And there is no more strength, and no desire,
Start all over again, as always,
For a year now...
Lose the meaning of all the passed flour,
Bewilderment introduces us to questions:
Why build something for us
`When in one fell swoop,
All barbarously have to destroy?
Some battles everywhere, around, always,
And do not get away from this violence ...
Do not expect a quiet life on earth,
While walking cold, darkness.
The only escape from the hustle and bustle
Life without desires and answers...
And every day I see more clearly:
Losing altitude
Less and less, my life love you!
What is the strength of the human mind?
When he arranged life so ridiculously,
Giving her the rainbow known colors?
What is new in life? In the knowledge of the world?
Or, perhaps, in the "jokes" of life?!
Death is not new, and life is a complete lie:
What you don't want, you'll get
And if you wish, you will lose!
And no one could ever say
Why do we need life-suffering...
New Year, - the Earth is spinning in the old way,
Problems are new, the fate of the Earth is old...
My New Year - without a Christmas tree and toys,
And Santa Claus is also not to be seen:
The Snow Maiden is young for the night,
Heeding the spirit of the times, she dragged him away ...
The further in life, the less love ...
Ability to stay alone
More important than giving food to the stomach...
It will take a long time to learn
To better understand your life
Understand people who have gone through their lives...
Don't ask! Could you tell:
- A person does not get along with people,
And without them, he does not want to live for a long time!
That's the whole secret inexplicable -
The one that dead people knew...
Carried away, did not divulge secrets,
To break people's hearts
Remaining, to continue to live - with the living.
Paradox can't explain everything
For silence - glory to those who leave!
The experience of life is clear to them in full:


Life is not a train stop
To get off... She's a business trip
To test the strength on the way!
12/31/1985

IT'S NOT LATE YET!
"He's good because he-
-not at all..."
I. Severyanin:
Face - I'm not the same as the soul ...
Who looks into my depth,
He marvels: Is that you?
Our Shota the Great was wrong,
Covering the spiritual world behind the exterior!
I don't wish evil on anyone
And even those who traveled
For me and along and across ...
I dream of only one thing:
More often to see loving people,
And so that life does not go out on Earth!
Torture yourself more than others
And life in labor, lead in motion,
You look at people with a kind look,
And goodness will lead you to their love.
Helpless - hope for salvation,
"Lords of the world" - a disastrous end,
Wake up before it's too late
Earthlings, know that there is still time!
Does everyone have a chance in their hands?
So try to find the truth.
Try while there's still time
A verse to refute mine,
Don't miss a moment!...
01/14/1986
PEOPLE, DON'T SHOT YOUR BROTHERS
Everything in man died a long time ago!
No strength to act
The dust has burned out,
And furious and passionate - for work ...
It was so easy to drown him out,
Insidious color life.
Everything has gone to hell:
Wishes, joy and love.
And no friends around
No relatives, no relatives
Why do you live, who will explain?
Am I not fit?! Now, of course not!
But am I alone? After all, such - without counting!
Striving for a living
In any way,
Silence people their own people.
They hit us with direct fire,
At the "market", at work, at home...
Our entire family suffers from this!
We are lagging behind day by day, and this
We strengthen the opposing system.
People don't shoot your brothers
To not shroud the dark gloom!
Heart breaks with sadness
After all, consciousness is heavier than longing:
Just overcome a fierce enemy.
It is difficult to stop our decay,
Maybe it's just impossible?!
Self-burial - instead of happiness to live!
I understand: it is immutable!
...Ready to leave, but no, without betraying!
Only because there is no place for the dead
And there should be no struggle on the way,
Ready to leave, but don't give up!
I swear I'll keep
Feather in trembling fingers
While the engine is pounding in my chest
As long as consciousness allows thinking,
I swear to try
From the last strength


Death of mankind
At least slow down for a while!
06/2/3/1986

ME AND NATURE
YOU WILL HEAL YOUR HEART IN THE MOUNTAINS
You will heal your heart in the mountains,
And killed me for life ...
And why did I meet you in my life,
Hurt yourself beyond measure?
To be honest, most of all
I was afraid to lose you then
You didn't know anything like that.
You don't understand those fears.
What was, is gone for both of us...
I have completely forgiven your negligence.
But bitterness gave birth to this verse:
I marvel at your other side.
Poems, I confess, since childhood I wrote,
But it was not pain that carried them - other things ...
I recently learned a new reason
She came under a sinister name!
Do not think, I do not know the fear of the word,
But I don't want to scare you again
And only when you leave me again
My chest will give birth to him with a groan ...
You will meet this word and understand
You will understand the reason for the groan,
What walks the earth, under the name ...
Love!
09/21/1984

* * *
The deeper you go into life
The more you leave it
And the realization of how in life
Helpless and pitiful man
It elevates him immeasurably.
Clarity comes, how beneficial
The gifts of nature influence him:
sun, air and water
And peaceful, living silence,
Which happens high in the mountains,
But not transmitted to humans...
12/29/1985

THE SILENCE OF THE OAK
Changed once again the leaves of the green garden,
Having seen more than one generation,
And the old oak, enchanting with beauty,
It stands mysteriously, still silently ...
And who can in deep silence,
Read what you want to say to him?!
Whose heart is weary
His excitement of the past perceive?
Perhaps someone will comprehend mournfully,
What in order to withstand him
And last so long

So much happened to him to be silent, silent! ..
Silence is gold and ... lived years.
01/26/1986

VESELCHAKOV DO NOT LIKE MOUNTAINS
Mountains don't like Veselchakov...
Mountains - not at all fun,
Steep slopes of mountains, cliffs,
On narrow shelves - the audacity of a climber ...
Everything suppresses humor
And no time for jokes at this moment.
Cracking leg joints
Grab fingers,
The pupils are playing an alarming game,
The whole mechanism of human self-defense,
Does not know in a moment of dangerous relaxation,
Fall off - fly
And there is no chance to survive! ..
Flight flight - strife ...
More beautiful - in a different way:
A wave of music picks up life,
Fun, jokes, youth arrogance,
Arrogance before death! ..
Man does not die from death
But a person from death is an orphan.
And this cannot be compared with death,
Although we die hard!
All people are orphans, most of them,
That's why tears come down
That's why the heart is so restless
That's why I took up the pen...
That's why the sun generously warms us,
That's why people are enchanted
Four wonderful changes of the year! ..
I'm a merry fellow trying to explain
In the mountains, on the verge of death, what is the reason,
All troubles, heavens, all discord in life,
War and peace ... After all, people forget
How did they come into this world?
Forgetting your beginning - you need peace!
Everything is clear in the mountains: you can die yourself,
But who gave us the right to destroy others...
Forgive, God, sinners,
Think fools,
Clear their minds. After all, from a height you can see:
More than ever, peace is needed today!..
03/06/1986

* * *
It's hard to keep up even on skates!
Not to fall into the abyss
People go stubbornly to the mountains,
But there is more danger...
Fear of falling from a height
Pushes them to certain death.
04/25/1986

* * *
Can I do it without shoes?
Go on a trip?
Where will you go - there I will go
And barefoot!
Not for you, but more for myself.
But this is far from "ego" ...
The man will go there
Where he is welcome.
And the trouble is, since there is nowhere to go,
Lost my friends
Went off the road...
Woe to those who realize this:
Only realizing their losses,
Subconsciously I got up
On this path...
04/30/1986

LOOK INTO NATURE
In Beshtau the colonnade is white
Blinds and glorifies the hand of man...
I studied the man for a long time,
More precisely, I tried to study
And suddenly Nature's world
Appeared and asks for a word...
A lot has changed in me with the campaign,
And a lot has been revealed to me...
Perhaps even more - I lost.
The love of writing, however, remained,
Remained the same - tender, hidden ...
Let me be a simpleton and a fool
But I don't want to play with feelings.
I'm not going, and I can't
Play miracles with yourself
And, frankly,
Landscapes are not my soul.
3.09.1986

I'M LEAVING
They told me: - Go away!
I groaned, “Shut up!
And, miracle!
Me: - Come on,
We will treat the sick!
Come on, let's see
How will you come back again!

No, shelter for the soul
I did not find by the sea!
Waves, winds and noise
Smashed my feelings
Cry of the soul, pain in the chest,
And in response, only a laugh ...
Waves came over me
The winds pierced the soul with a needle ...
Meaning of meetings
There was a reconnaissance battle:
Is it good new?
I hear everything that is not new ...

The familiar noise from the seashell...
The clock took me away that evening
You will not tell me more: - Come in!
I will not hear again: - Call!

I wanted to ask so many things
But your thunderous "go away !!!",
Drives summer from your soul...
01/31/1990

MY FRIENDS
GIVE ME MORE
YOUR FEELING POEMS
Poet Tamila Aydinova
I confessed my love to you
From your first lines
Call away the dreams
And floods of tears!
Features not finished
Thoughts run away
Waves of lines are coming, -
You can drown!
you infected me
with its tenderness,
I want to get sick
Heard verse.
Don't wake up in me again
Wonderful dreams of the soul
I ask you one thing:
`Don't read to me!
However, it can be seen - anyway -
Late asking!
I, smitten on the spot,
I explain to you.
1.12.2001

TO MY NEW-OLD FRIENDS
MISH LYASHENKO AND
ANNA SHAKHNAZAROVOY
I resent myself - you see?
How have I not met you for a long time?!
You are my old friends from far away
But they didn't know about it...
My soul has heard your call,
And joyfully responded instantly,
Hearing the voices of kinship,
I fell blissfully ill.
Lost night, sleep, daylight,
Thank you all my life for this!
In my poems I trust in Heaven,
For my Pain, for my daughters I beg ...
I have no right to die!
Caring burden requires: - Stop!
Care, thoughts and worries about the native,
In "another life" - they will not humbly let go ...
I beg and ask not for myself,
For the pain that worries me
Which in one bad moment,
All my best feelings were dragged away.
That Pain of mine is mine and not mine,
She is named and unnamed...
Give me back my lost feelings
I will be grateful to you for this!
But my pain is my joy,
She rightfully belongs to all people,
It dissolves my whole life.
I beg you, do not miss my Pain,
And catch up, take away and return,
All that she once stole from me.
Without feelings, I'm naked, I'm hungry, powerless...
– You, new and old Friends,
You are like my black horses,
I beg you, friends:
Take it out, folks, take it out
From the battlefield - take out and carry,
So that he does not fall in a battle unequal to his fate.
Dear, my good ones,
Do not take with you on a long journey,
Only my Pain, collect from the leaves.
And carry it into the light without fatigue and abuse.
Pain, burning like a torch, do not let it go out.
Let it burn to the ground, do not burn people!
Hear the planet whisper to you:
- The Earth is already tired of Pain - pretty much! ..
Release it into space - aliens?!
Let me die in peace - boldly! ...



AFTERWORD
I came into this world on business.
Meet here and carry my feelings.
Leaving, I will leave them forever,
To my new friends -
Take out by word of mouth
Rows or columns
Render up to the reader forever!

* * *
Duty to Misha and Anna's desire
Made me pick up the pen again
Wished? Now be patient, be patient
And take my lines wherever you want
Until I got sick! All!..
1.12.2001

PARTING
Misha flies to Russia, -
The death of a brother is to blame for this! ..
Sadness takes over me
Alone I stay for a while
Without his reliable wing.
The bullet shoots another message,
Anna broke her leg
My left wing is hit...
There is safety in numbers!
My two wings are broken
I - as in an air battle
A downed plane, but I'm flying
Black smoke of wounded happiness emitting,
Saying goodbye, I wave my padded wings ...
And now I'm walking without flying,
And now I don't need more wings...
"Born to crawl - not to fly"?!
It was important for me in my life to meet you:
In another, I found myself
When I met you both together
I managed to see myself to others ...
And now for the umpteenth time,
I pray for help for my friends,
The sky whispers back to me
That soon, very soon
My friends will be with me!
My two wings will return to me,
And I can walk confidently
And sometimes - take off, sad that the wings
Needed by one - only for flight,
Others - so that on the ground
Don't fall, walk...
Learning to walk - not only to the future,
But in the past it seems
I haven't been before!
12/25/2001

MEMORY
Not enough lines
To write about him
paper pages,
Tears and blood of the world,
To drown out that pain
which he left to us
A friend who suddenly passed away...
All the threads of blessings, you cut off peace,
Who knew you and remembers the world,
And scarlet blood bleeds in vain,
We still can't get you back.
You wait a little, do not be bored -
Maybe we'll meet soon...
To live hunting, to be honest,
But the life of the one that dreamed
We can't seem to find it in this world.
Desired joy of sensations
Sometimes, not coming true, it destroys us,
But without a dream - we can not live, sometimes ...
Live there that you did not live with us,
And hello there forever
Since it's not fair here
He lived and fell so cruelly! ..
While friends live
You walk among us
On the day of your remembrance
We honor you alive!
29/30.04.1986

* * *
In seven years of longing for a departed friend...
I want to envy from the bottom of my heart
To everyone who suffered less from it.
Questions, hints, words...
Only pain is felt,
Companion of human life!
And only great jazz,
Whispering in my ear: - Believe me,
All of this is a fool's errand...
2.06.1990

JOKE
THE WIND WALKED ALONG THE CORRIDOR
The wind blew along the corridor
Enclosing space for yourself
By the fact that he was captured by the building,
He hurt himself quite a bit.
He is every meter of the wall
I thought it was my destiny
Searched, searched for holes
And met with me:
- Come in, why stuck in the door,
Sit down at the worker's table!
And the wind answered me:
- I would be very happy
"Thank you" leaving in a hurry,
Flutter through the window -
into the world!
So goodbye and don't judge
For the fleetingness of the meeting.
Perhaps the meeting is ahead,
And debts will be out of the question.
Be a guest under a clear sky, -
As soon as the sun shines
And I will make you sad
Let's talk about life...
When, at your fateful hour,
I'll fly, don't be afraid
With earthly pain and longing
Better say goodbye.

Why extra weight on the road?
I will take them easily
And I will bow down from heaven
Tulips and levkoy.
To the hill that hid you...
And you - hide our secret.
- Opened with verses ?! - falling out of love
I won't visit!
10/10/1984
I WILL TAKE YOU TO THE NOTEBOOK
I'll take you to the notebook
Don't be surprised and don't be afraid!
I'll lay you down in lines
And just don't get discouraged.
Don't be afraid, I won't eat you
To decorate my poems
You gently lie down between the lines, -
I'll put you in a notebook!
I'll put the notebook on the shelf
And a long, long time from the top shelf
Your gentle voice will pour -
Such a sweet notebook!
And maybe you decide
Keep me in your notebook?
Do not hesitate: I agree to get there
Into your captivating web...
1.12.2001

FROM MY FAVORITE POEMS
FRIEND OF YOUTH - NUGZAR KULUMBEKOVA
A crow sits on a bitch
And sucks his own leg
And who cares
He has a destiny!
1980

THE TARGET HAS Gone
YOUR ARROW
I fell in love with the fatal fool
Maybe because he's an idiot!
A sign of old age
"Serious" feelings.
How can you not expect stupid things from childhood? ..
So I'm going back to the mountains,
Though the desire was to wait.
To love the desire has ruined!..
Whether my path will be far, I do not understand.
My zigzags,
Understand and regret soon
About the futility of his undertaking,
They will burn, blazing with bright color ...
I do not wish them such a fate!
In life we both find and lose.
So love, stands in front of you
Another tempting target

Mine was, she's gone now
Struck by your arrow...
03/06/1986

* * *
What are you to me
What mountains are for you:
How can you not live in the mountains,
So I can't live with you!
03/25/1986




;


The author is grateful to:

Gleb Korenetsky,
Mikhail Lyashenko,
Anna Shakhnazarova,
Mariette Galdava,
Svetlana Rudchik,

and to all those who took part
and provided support and assistance in translation
my poems and poems, from Russian into English,
 as well as in preparation and publication
this book.




 
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;;;;;;; - 2022
 

САМСОН   ГЕЛХВИДЗЕ



ТАИНСТВО  СТИХОИСПОВЕДАНИЯ,
ИЛИ
ИСПОВЕДЬ  В  СТИХАХ
(Стихотворения  и  поэмы)











ТБИЛИСИ  -  2022

 
Contents
"THE SOLID HEART HUMS EVERYWHERE" 7
POETRY AND ME 11
I DON'T WANT AND CANNOT... 12
CHALLENGES OF GROWTH 19
HEART SOUNDS 22
I DON'T LOVE YOU WITHOUT SAD 22
IF HELP YOURSELF YOU GIVE 24
YOU WILL NOT WISH 24
STEP ON MY HEART 25
BELLS 26
LIMITS OF BEING 27
ARE YOU ALONE IN YOURSELF? 28
WE HAVE SUCH A FUNNY LIFE 29
RED CLOVE IN THE SNOW 30
DO NOT LEAVE THE DOOR OPEN! 30
AGATE BEADS OF HAPPINESS 32
AFTERWORD: "DID NOT MEET" 33
CONDEMNATION 35
THE WALL 35
JUDGE BUT DON'T JUDGE! 36
FIND A WOMAN! 37
DO NOT RUSH! 37
MEDITATIVE 39
MAYBE LIFE 39
WANTING TO 41
DO NOT WASTE GROUND! 41
PEOPLE DIE FROM THE DEATH OF LOVED ONE 42
ABOUT ME 44
CHILDHOOD CLOUDS GO 44
GLASS JAR 49
HOW NOT TO GET CRAZY? 50
NOT EVERYONE CAN UNDERSTAND 50
UNCLEAR! 53
"YES-YES, NO-NO, WHAT IS ABOVE THAT - FROM THE EVIL" 54I WANTED A WOMAN... 55
WHO LOVES... 56
ABOUT LIFE 56
CIVIL 58
THIS JUST IS LUCKY 58
ONCE YOU WILL BE BROKEN 60
LIFE WITHOUT HIM 61
BY EDUCATION I AM RUSSIAN ... 62
MAN DOES NOT GET ON WITH PEOPLE 63
IT'S NOT LATE YET! 65
PEOPLE, DON'T SHOT YOUR BROTHERS 66
ME AND NATURE 67
YOU WILL HEAL YOUR HEART IN THE MOUNTAINS 67
THE SILENCE OF THE OAK 68
VESELCHAKOV DO NOT LIKE MOUNTAINS 69
LOOK INTO NATURE 71
I'M LEAVING 71
MY FRIENDS 72
GIVE ME MORE 72
YOUR FEELING POEMS 72
TO MY NEW-OLD FRIENDS 73
MISH LYASHENKO AND 73
ANNA SHAKHNAZAROVOY 73
AFTERWORD 75
PARTING 75
MEMORY 76
JOKE 77
THE WIND WALKED ALONG THE CORRIDOR 77
I WILL TAKE YOU TO THE NOTEBOOK 79
FROM MY FAVORITE POEMS 79
FRIEND OF YOUTH - NUGZAR KULUMBEKOVA 79
THE TARGET HAS Gone 79
YOUR ARROW 79
 
Samson Gelkhvidze - links list
to literary editions of the author
http://proza.ru/avtor/alekssandr
https://stihi.ru
1. COLLECTIONS OF POEMS AND POEMS:
1.1 The sacrament of confession or confession in verse
http://proza.ru/2019/05/04/407
1.2 Pain and Faith
http://proza.ru/2019/05/04/73
1.3 The soul longs for the Word
http://proza.ru/2019/05/04/86
2. STORY BOOK:
2.1 Pain merchants
http://proza.ru/2019/05/04/515
2.2 Return
https://www.litmir.me/bd/?b=645232
2.3 Winds of change
http://proza.ru/2019/05/04/79
3. NOVEL:
3.1 Nightingales of the monastery garden
http://proza.ru/2019/05/04/113
3.2 Budapest Moonlight Sonata
http://proza.ru/2019/05/04/59
3.3 Paradise Lost
http://proza.ru/2022/05/31/1459
E-mail: samsgel@gmail.com