Conversation with a Man from Germany-part 2

CRITICISM

- I said that I had objections and you wanted to hear them.
Where to start?

 If I had to tell an overall objection it would be that you are a typical politically left person with the typical left-wing fallacies. (I say this although we never talked about politics.) For example you believe that the autistic children are not physically ill, but decide to withdraw from a world/society that overburdens them. That's pure Rousseau: the good original/wild/ innocent human and the bad society, the depraved culture.
Furthermore it reminds me of a certain belief of many people, a quasi-religious belief: The belief that all illnesses are caused by psychological issues. I don’t see any reason to believe any of these assumptions. How could a child decide to show such a strange behaviour. A behaviour that limits the child very much? Children usually want to keep up with their peers, they are eager to learn and develop. The assumption that they withdraw and limit their own talents is far-fetched. Especially if you know that there's strong evidence of biological reasons for the condition, gut bacteria and mercury for example.
My next objection is that you say you don't want to make money with your method and you don't want it to be a business. But the academic world isn't an option for you either, so why not run it as a business? There's nothing wrong with doing something good and making money with it as long as you still do a good job and don't get greedy. You aren't a totally selfless person (and you don't have to be one): you complaint that some people stole your concept (I think it was researchers, but not sure, or publishers). If it's ONLY about the children and not about you, then you should be glad if the method is spread, no matter whose name is printed on the front page.
Nobody is completely selfless, neither you nor the people whom you might need to make your method known and available. So you need a plan which takes this into account.
Another thing is that you describe your way so far like: I am that innocent person, who was cheated by all those bad people. If you describe yourself as a totally naive person, you won't attract anyone to work together with you -except bad people.
Another point. First you said, I have a method that I want to spread. Later you wrote somewhere, I can do it only myself, not make other people do the same. You cannot learn it, it's intuitive. So what do you want? You need to take a decision. Teachable method or personal gift?
Another objection is your use of euphemisms and politically correct words like "special children". Confusing, useless, typical left-wing language manipulation bullshit. The child of my brother is special too, but she's completely healthy.
And finally, my last objection: You didn't answer my questions well. E.g. the question why it has to be a photo book project. Your general approach is much wider and more understandable. A photo book project will be finished after a few weeks or maybe months. But the child will still be there afterwards! So you need something permanent. Imagine you're a parent. You want a permanent solution for a big problem: how to raise your handicapped child in a good way. A photo book project doesn't sound like a serious offer in that situation. It sounds more like a gimmick.
So, in business speak, you need a strategy and a plan and then a story to tell. And market research. You need to know your "customers", their needs and how to make them believe that you or your method are the way to fulfil those needs. And your customers are not the children in that case. Your customers are those who make the decisions. Ok, that's what I thought when I talked with you and read your articles. I hope that my criticism is not too harsh but a bit helpful. Good luck for your work

COMMENT

That is the problem. People understand it in their way and I have no chance to response or object. They do not clear things up, they do their assumptions and leave. And then I have discussion with myself

DISCUSSION with MYSELF

1)
“For example you believe that the autistic children are not physically ill but decide to withdraw from a world / society that overburdens them. “-I see the main reason that they feel environment as a scary place and decided to stay in their own limited reality. That is my assumption. Hypothesis. Based on that assumption I take them out carefully and lovingly, I make it the way they want to go out together with me. Those kids are full of Fears. What is wrong about that assumption, regarding children? (not your feelings about my assumption about society) My belief has supports from different facts and from learning the phenomena-theoretically and practically

“How could a child decide to show such a strange behavior”-It's about consequences-not about choice. A person is afraid to go into dark room, he does not go-he is afraid. I put light on, take child's hand and we go in
 “Especially if you know that there's strong evidence of biological reasons for the condition”-There is evidence PROs and CONs for everything, including  biological reasons like immunization. I've read a lot about that.
“Children usually want to keep up with their peers, they are eager to learn and develop.”-From my experience autistic kids also like to learn and develop, BUT in their own way. Not the way, regular kids do that. They like to have friends, but they don't know how to connect.
What I do ii
1 Illuminate Fears
2 Go Their Way, giving them understanding and acceptance
3 Create positive and productive connections
4 Study carefully specific of a child
5 Only then start intervention, taking him to a "big world". We go together. It’s not fast and not easy, but absolutely harmless
Most parents want "magic pill" to fix a child, often hurting them mentally and psychologically. Sometimes physically. I've read a lot of adult's stories who went through System approach

2)
“Furthermore it reminds me of a certain belief of many people, a quasi-religious belief: The belief that all illnesses are caused by psychological issues. I don’t see any reason to believe any of these assumptions.”
That is not my assumption. Not all illnesses. But there is psychosomatically problems exist-I DO have one myself-observing and studying it

3)
 “How could a child decide to show such a strange behavior? A behavior that limits the child very much? Children usually want to keep up with their peers, they are eager to learn and develop. The assumption that they withdraw and limit their own talents is far-fetched. Especially if you know that there's strong evidence of biological reasons for the condition, gut bacteria and mercury for example.”
Many things happen unconsciously.  Please, read also about "mirror neurons". If to create different conditions a child would be happy to learn. There is evidence that brain of autistic people constructed differently than brain of regular people. That is why behavior is also different

4)
“My next objection is that you say you don't want to make money with your method and you don't want it to be a business.”

I did not say that I do not want to make money with my method. I said that "children wellbeing" should not be depended on business and everything connected to business
 "But the academic world isn't an option for you either, so why not run it as a business?"
That  what I wanted to do in Macedonia as well as in Albania. Inviting couple of families with autistic kids to rest by the sea (source money for me) and to work with their kids (developing  further my method-my interest)
But,
"That intention was used by a real estate agent, who was a lawyer . He inspired me with support of my Project by local professional community and his own empathetic attitude and desire to be involved to get my trust. His real goal was to sell an old rotten house, which should be demolished, illegal garage and the land which Government Project took for road reconstruction. He was paid well by seller for that work. "
That is why I believe (and many others) that growing of autism has a goal to change human nature. Too much lying, manipulation and hypocrisy in world around. Autistic kids cannot lie, parents should teach them.

5)
 “you complaint that some people stole your concept (I think it was researchers, but not sure, or publishers).”
My book in Russian was stolen by publisher. The book I wrote with somebody from Arizona, she wanted to use for research and they even started one. My psychologist for many years wanted to do research in Brooklyn College behind my back. It was a lot of lies everywhere...To prove my hypothesis maybe"

6)
“If it's ONLY about the children and not about you, then you should be glad if the method is spread, no matter whose name is printed on the front page.”
They could be honest-I like honesty. Some professional in Russia use it at their work. It’s good, but not exactly the way I meant it.
If it'd be honest research (with my participation) and Method officially established under somebody else name, but the honest way-no problem. I cannot be an author officially anyway according to existing system. I offered it honestly to someone once, but honest way did not work. That is why I cannot be happy.

7)
“Another thing is that you describe your way so far like: I am that innocent person who was cheated by all those bad people. If you describe yourself as a totally naive person, you won't attract anyone to work together with you - except bad people.”
I never said that. I describe the events the way they happened. But people read that as  "I'm good and everybody is bad"-that is how people understand, but I just give account of facts happened.

9)
  "Another point. First you said, I have a method that I want to spread. Later you wrote somewhere, I can do it only myself, not make other people do the same. You cannot learn it, it's intuitive."

I could not say that, I said different thing. To continue developing it, I have to do it myself, because I do it intuitively. What I already published could be used, of course-no problem. I was talking for developing it further...and deeper

10)
“So what do you want? You need to take a decision. Teachable method or personal gift?”
That is what I was interested myself. When a woman from Arizona instead of writing a book, started to do research it showed that it could be a method, but that was the only opportunity to see it. In all other cases people were afraid, as it was not officially accepted without research. It’s kind of “Circle 22” What professionals do and how they use it-I have no idea

11)
“Another objection is your use of euphemisms and politically correct words like "special children". Confusing, useless, typical left-wing language manipulation bullshit. The child of my brother is special too, but she's completely healthy.”
That has nothing to do with me-American invention and everybody accepted. Me? I do not like it myself, but use it as everybody

12)
“And finally, my last objection: You didn't answer my questions well. E.g. the question why it has to be a photo book project. Your general approach is much wider and more understandable. A photo book project will be finished after a few weeks or maybe months. But the child will still be there afterwards!”
It’s NOT photo book project
Its PhotoBookS System-it’s the whole System of development. I need to continue developing it further

13)
 “So, you need something permanent. Imagine you're a parent. You want a permanent solution for a big problem: how to raise your handicapped child in a good way. A photo book project doesn't sound like a serious offer in that situation. It sounds more like a gimmick.”
Right. Its Phototherapy, which I cannot officially perform as I do not have official credit for that. I looked for cooperation of somebody with credit, but... you know the story...,

14)
“So, in business speak, you need a strategy and a plan and then a story to tell. And market research.”
Market research  was made by the American long time ago when we wrote a book together, who started to do research instead of working on the book. She did it for her daughter, who just went into that field

15)
“You need to know your "customers", their needs and how to make them believe that you or your method is the way to fulfil those needs. And your customers are not the children in that case. Your customers are those who take the decisions.”
Yes, it’s true. And that make the whole situation very sad. Not so many people are good for working with autistic kids. I’m one of them, but cannot use my personal gift, because…

“I hope that my criticism is not too harsh, but a bit helpful.”
It’s very helpful and just on time, consider the current situation.
I don't know why things are that way, but they are. I have no ambitions; I just like the process or working and creating new things. I did meet sincere supportive people on my way, but only a few.

Recently someone described one of the therapies for autistic kids.
"The session itself looked like this: taping on the turned side of both palms - tapping with the fingertips, and then very quickly and abruptly transitioning very slowly, and so on for several alternations. And it was said by the person, who wrote the book on autism that it improves the connections in the brain. The very state of the child after the session is some kind of drunken excitement."

DO NO HARM

My approach has no harm, no risk whatsoever. I work with a human nature of the child, not with autism. Some issues affected by autism, but some are not. But something in my approach makes adults to reject it. Every time it is something different and connect more to beliefs of those, who reject. And nothing I could do about that, just simple "LET it BE"

STORY about an ATTITUDE

When we came to USA, at the beginning we washed toilets as everybody, but then switched to babysitting. We worked for many years in religious family with 6 kids, when started, and 11 when finished. Father there was very religious and kind of close-minded, while mom was pretty open-minded and not so heavy on religion. Parents loved my daughter and tried to make her into religion. In my turn, I did not encourage it, not rejected it-just observing, studying,  asking questions, which should not be asked and so on. Of course, eventually the question arose o- religion and money.
Eventually, my daughter chose non- religious way. The result of my investigation, of course, influenced her decision. Father became upset with me, what is understandable
Their kids got attached to me very much and parents had a dilemma- should I continue working there or not. Father did not want it, but Mom won and I continued working. Father  hardly said “Hi” to me, when I used to come. He was a great father and loved his kids dearly, but he loved religion more and it was hard for him to see me there
Dilemma!