Conversation with ex-compatriot

Somebody contacted me on international side. From Moscow. It was written in the profile, that a woman lived in the biggest country of the world, but liked to learn about other countries. In the beginning it was fun-2 Russians discussing things in English, even politic . Never had such experience before. However the end was very strange. Don’t know where “to put” it on in my mind
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-Happy  New  Year!-the woman wrote

-Happy new Year to you as well! All the best wishes!

- What  do  you  expect  from  year-2023?

- I developed some projects and I hope to fulfil them. What about you?

-I  just  hope  that  peace  will  win,

-Hopefully, hopefully...

-Where  are  from?  Albania?

-Now I live in Albania, but originally I'm from Uzbekistan

-And  that's why  you  speak  Russian. How  long  are  you  in  Albania?  Why? You  may  not  answer.

-I'm 2 years in Albania. Why I'm here is a long complicated story

-Is  Albania  EU  member?  It is a  tiny  country...

-Not yet, but they want to be. Yes, tiny. it has 2 million people

-Where  is  level of life better: in Albania or Uzbekistan?

-I left Uzbekistan long time ago. Don't even know how life is there

-Albania is considered to be the poorest country in Europe I think

-No it's on #5. #1 is Ukraine

-You  stroll  round  the  world  looking  for  a better  life...
Your  countrymen come  to  Russia  with  the  same  aim.

-Not me, I have different reasons for moving. I changed 5 places No-6

-What  is  the  next  place? Or  Albania is the last one.

-I don't know. I stay till I feel that I cannot stay there any more

-You  are  from  the  USSR. Did  you  remember  its 100th  anniversary  the  day  before yesterday?

-I heard about that on internet

-Я  думаю,  что вы хорошо  владеете  русским  языком. Писать  умеете  или  разучились,

-I almost lost it when lived in USA. I could not write at all. but then I restored it. Now two languages are equal for me. none is perfect though

-English and Uzbek?

-English and Russian. I don't know Uzbek. In Soviet Uzbekistan even Uzbek people spoke Russian

- Are you Russian or  Uzbek origin?

-Russian-mixture. Uzbekistan had a lot of non-Uzbek population. Many came during WW2 in evacuation and left there. Everybody got along nicely

-As  I  see  you  don't  like  the  Soviet  Union. Are a dissident?

-Where do you see that I do not like Soviet Union, I am curious?

-You writes  that you heard  about the 100th anniversary in the Internet. You didn’t know about it.

WOW!!!

-Sure. I NEVER even knew about that. Overall I am not good about history, but I always defended values of socialism. You know that Albania also had socialism?   But I cannot defend socialism any more

-Yes, Albania was a part of World Communist camp. Socialism in the USSR is  worth to be  protected. Soviet  people  living  now  in  Russia  have  great  nostalgia about  their  lost  country

(I defended socialistic values (not protected), but now cannot do it any more because of the horrible war)

-Young generation blame socialism in current life issues in Albania. And not only in Albania. Unfortunately in people's minds socialism connects with repressions, Stalin, etc. etc. People focus on negative side of socialism

-People,  who  didn't  live  in  the  Soviet  Union  can  never understand  what  socialism is. I often argue  with  some  people  here  online  who criticize socialism: "You  have  no  right  to say  anything  negative,  because didn't live  in  the  USSR. You just believe your Western propaganda. It tell  lie"

-But what about Stalin repressions, Gulag and so on. In Albania they had the same. People got to prison for nothing. In Albania they had hunger. One loaf of bread for the family for a week

- Of course, Soviet leaders made many mistakes. But everyone knows that those who don’t do anything, they never have error. Soviet people work much and that's why they made mistakes, Sometimes, tragic ones. Besides, The USSR was the FIRST Socialist country. To be first is always difficult.

-For example my life was not affected negatively by socialism in any way. However my relative's husband was a priest and he was sent to Siberia after revolution. She was left alone with 2 kids and nobody gave her any jobs as she was a priest wife....and many similar stories happened. Now it continues-people get to prison for nothing. It’s not mistakes, it is something different

-As I said before Soviet leaders made some tragic mistakes. But it was made purposely. They didn’t have real examples/models to accept.  They were first.  Many things were unknown, mysterious.

-If purposely, then it was not mistake

-Sorry, I want to say "But  it  was  NOT  made  purposely".

-Ok, than it should be a REASON for doing THOSE kinds of mistakes-to kill, to destroy to put in prison. In Albania socialism started in 1946 and they did the same mistakes

-Well...what’s your opinion on today's  war?

-Horrible...it was created by people of socialism. There is nothing any more exists for a person to lean on...no values

-I justify defensive war only! But not predatory war.

-That one is predatory war

-Yes. Certainly. But in 1941-45 was defensive,

-Yes, sure. Now all achievements of socialism are destroyed. Achievements and positive sides

-Bad politicians are barrier to progress.  They pull back people to great troubles!

-Not agree. In Albania everybody complain about their government. My experience-They DESERVE such a government-I tell them that

-What don't  you  agree?  Government consists of politicians.

-People complain about their lives, blaming politicians, but they do nothing, themselves they do nothing, but everybody complain about government that what I meant

-I  don't  know  where  people are  satisfied  with  their  leaders...Leaders are always  guilty.

-Nowhere...I used to host students from different countries-everybody complained, only Germans did not. They were satisfied with Angela. Мe personally focus on people, not on government

-When are you going to come back to your Motherland?

-Never, although it was time I wanted

-Never...? Which country is better today for you? When are you going to leave Albania?

-Motherland does not exist anymore. My soviet friends are not friends any more. Mentality is different. My Motherland is Russian Language-I take it along everywhere. Today Albania is best for me-peaceful and quiet, no hatred

- So you are a  citizen  of  the  world. Yes, small countries are really quiet and comfortable and cosy. But  the  best  countries  are  neutral  ones,  such  as  Norway, Austria,  Malta...

-Not really. I lived in small Macedonia-saturated with hatred to Albanians. I wanted to go to Greece, but there is the same issue. They hate Macedonians and Albanians. Malta is not easy-I talked to somebody here. Austria I think has not easy mentality, but again I cannot go anyplace I want to. There are restrictions

-Restrictions may be everywhere...What restriction is in  Russia?  Uzbekistan?

-I don't know. Probably I can return to Uzbekistan, but for Russia I could not find information (but it was idea before the war) Now -no way. I will stay here if nothing will make me to leave...then I'll think or if I'll find something attractive for me in a different place

- I see. Where is your family, relatives? In Uzbekistan?

- In USA

-They are advanced

-In what?

-Well... they are lucky living in highly developed superpower.

-I left that paradise and don't want to return

-Is paradise worse than hell?

-Not really. I believe that a person is able to create own paradise or own hell here in the Earth

-Yes,  person  can  create,  but other  people  can  destroy  his paradise  and  turn  it  into  hell.

-Sure, but than a person should leave hell and create another paradise

-And his business is to build, rebuild...for the whole life. And life is short.

-No, then life is loooooong

 When  did  you  leave  USSR/Russia/Uzbekistan?

-I left for USA in 1992

-I  didn’t  ask   about  the USA.

-I left Uzbekistan in 87. But I experienced what people call 90x

-How could you experience 1990-s, if you  were not in your country? You may not answer.
-I was in Lithuania, a place where capitalism started and I experience changes in people's attitude

-So, how many countries did you live in since 1987? Sometimes I suspect, I ask inconvenient questions. You may not answer them.

-No problem. I think I wrote -6 countries. Probably it should be one more-I like number 7. What is your occupation? profession

-A  teacher.

-A teacher of what?

-English.

-OK

-What language did you learn  at  school? English?

-Yes, English, but British English. People did not understand me at the beginning. American English has different pronunciation

-You speak American English...Where do they cannot understand  you? Europe ought to understand you.

-In USA in the beginning they did not understand, because I used British pronunciation. Then I've learn American

-Do the Albanians understand your American English? I  think  Albania  is  Slav  country  and  so  they understand Russia. Am I right?

-No. It’s Macedonia Slav country. But I did not like it. It’s just as an ugly Russian. Albanian language is beautiful, but I gave up on it. It’s so difficult!. It has hard gramma as Russian and hard spelling as English. They have 36 letters and very hard pronunciation as well. Yes, they understand English-those who know English-no problem

-Your Russian must be good.  You were born and lived in the USSR. Do know Uzbek  language?

-My Russia is good, but still some English way is present sometimes in sentences structure. Uzbek was only in school a little bit, but we skipped lessons, did not attend them. I know couple of words only. Now I started to learn Italian, because here almost everybody know Italian

-In American college I've learned Spanish-easy, but I forgot it
-They  say  after  60,  people  should  learn  foreign  languages. It  helps  to  keep  clear  mind.

-It’s good to know 2 languages

-More  languages-better. Человек  столько  раз  человек,  сколько он языков  знает.

-I got languages very quickly, but then I lose them, if don't use. Once I spent 10 days with Albanian woman in one room. I've learn a lot, but forgot a lot , usually use Google

-Are you a romantic wanderer?

-No, I'm not romantic, more philosophical type

-Do  you  like  music,  songs...?

-I like music more than songs now. My mood chose which music to listen to

-Do you remember Soviet songs, films?

-Yes I do, I listened them yesterday and sent to somebody. I watch movies. Soviet movies are very humanly warm. And clear about good and evil. Now everything is a big mess

-I don’t remember-what’s your occupation?

-autism

-Thanks for conversation. Good luck to you!
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I wanted to response and also ask her some questions, but she banned me !!!
It was strange behavior.
Maybe she got upset that I did not ask her question, but I usually do not ask people personal question,-its American “policy”-not discussing politic, religion and personal stuff.
But maybe she satisfied her curiosity and decided that it’s enough-then it felt as a person use me for her needs

Well, people are strange anyway!