New Martyr Nestor from the village of Zharki

New Martyr Nestor
from the village of Zharki.

Father Nestor (Savchuk).
 (1960—1993)
 Commemorated on the 17th (30th according to the new style) December.

“Suffering for the Lord is such a joy!”
 — Hieromonk Nestor.


A brief biography of Father Nestor was compiled by Father Herman of Platina with additions and edited by Vyacheslav Marchenko based on the memoirs of Viktor Saulkin and other people who knew him.


Content:

Foreword.  Holy Russia today.
Introduction.
1. Calling.
2. Pochaev Lavra.
3. Hierodeacon Svyatopolk.
4. Blessing to the seminary and refusal. Hegumen Pafnuty.
5. The wisdom of the bishop.
6. Fathers Ambrose and David.  Temple revival.
7. The churching of a hooligan.
8. Zharki village. From the notes of nun Anna (Bukharova).
9. Father Nestor in Zharki.
10. Reverent.
11. Gifts of God.
12. Abkhazia.
13. Dream of a martyr's crown.
14. Temple robbery.
15. Bookstores.
16. “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.”
17. Prophetic dream.
18. The last days.
19. Traces of ritual murder.
20. Farewell.
21. Mysterious sign.
22. Fulfillment of a waking dream.
23. Heavenly protector.
24. Good memory on earth.
25. In Paradise.
26. The story of Father Nestor is not over.


 Foreword.
 Holy Russia today.

Before sunset, the heavens are ablaze with the majesty of the beauty of God in the ether. So before the sunset of Christianity, the Lord is pleased to show the splendor of God-loving people to modern people. He shows a new image of martyrdom for Christ, when people fall victim to senseless anger, rage for the great goodness of God. A few Easters ago, the Lord suddenly called three Optina monks, whose souls were full of the Jesus Prayer, as if pouring out and fulfilling all grace, indescribable joy in human language.

In the Volga region, in the deserted village of Zharki, on the very New Year's Eve of 1994, another young righteous man of pure soul died as a martyr. Like the New Martyrs of Optina, Hieromonk Nestor became like the venerable honor of his beloved Optina brethren, who included Father Nestor in their ranks. With a fiery soul, the young desert-loving hieromonk-ascetic fell victim to spiritually devastated and drunken sub-humanity, which is rampant, like the once bloodthirsty hordes, again staggers everywhere in Russia, looking for her best sons, "whom to devour", and their goal is to destroy Russia. But the Lord accepts this almost organized ritual extermination of innocent victims as a precious confessional pledge and in return sends special grace to help on new spiritual arable land and crops, so that young Holy Russia rises for the purity of the Orthodox faith, for the Truth, for Christ!

The proposed experience of the biography is not the final version of the life of Father Nestor. Much has not been said, not worked out.  These are sketches. This is a preliminary attempt to look into the soul of young Holy Russia.


Introduction.

Ivanovo region.  The ancient Volga city of Yuryevets. What happened in the small village of Zharki, which is 30 kilometers from the city, at first was known, perhaps, only to local residents. Here, on the eve of the new, 1994, year, the rector of the local church was killed.  He was 33 years old.

There is no road sign to this village, nor the road itself.  More recently, she was listed in the category of unpromising. Life is almost dead here.  In 1989, when Father Nestor came here, there were only two yards in Zharki. Nevertheless, he began to perform services according to the strictest monastic rules, for 5-6 hours. The rumor about an amazing priest quickly spread throughout the district, gradually people began to come here from Kineshma, Moscow, St. Petersburg, even from Odessa. Some, having arrived for 1-2 days, stayed here for good.

Nikolay Savchuk is from Ukraine. Before being tonsured a monk under the name of Nestor and taking holy orders, he worked on the restoration of the destroyed Little Russian churches, passed obediences in the Pochaev Lavra. According to friends, he dreamed of being a priest right here, in this rural parish, where 10 years ago the icon of the Kazan Mother of God was miraculously found. The unexpected and terrible murder of Father Nestor shocked everyone.

On the night of December 31, Hieromonk Nestor was killed in his cell.  His blood was on the wall. According to medical experts, he died without regaining consciousness, from complete loss of blood. In the morning, a local mechanic came to the police, calling himself a murderer.

Father Victor, the closest assistant to Father Nestor, who served as a deacon before the tragedy, says: “And so, you know, I think when they beat him in the face, they didn’t beat him against this broken glass, not about fragments of the frame, as the investigation says, but we think that they beat him with knives.”

Two years before this murder, a documentary film was made with the participation of Nestor's father.  These frames are unique, because they have a living father Nestor.

His cassock, all soaked in blood, was blessed by the local bishop to be placed under the throne of the Church of the Nativity of the Virgin in Zharki. Now, not only here, but also in other churches and monasteries, along with the names of the New Martyrs of Optina, the name of the murdered Hieromonk Nestor is also commemorated.


1. Calling.

On March 4, 1960, in the village of Popovka, Genichesk district, Kherson region, the son Nikolay was born in the family of Ivan Mikhailovich and Anna Anatolyevna. The family was peasant and very religious. Nikolay's grandfather, Dubinin Vyacheslav Konstantinovich, was a priest and lived in retirement in the city of Pochaev at the Lavra.

Nikolay studied at a secondary school in Aleksandrovka in the Crimea, then graduated from college. From 1978 to 1980 he served in the army. In 1981 he moved to Odessa and started working, mastered several different professions, tried his hand everywhere, not being afraid of difficult and risky work. In his free time, he went to church, to the church of Peter and Paul in Odessa.

In 1986, his grandfather fell seriously ill and needed care, and Kolya went to Pochaev to look after him. He spent several months there, and his desire to work for the Lord was strengthened under the spiritual influence of his grandfather and in the atmosphere of monastic life that permeated the city: the proximity of the Lavra, numerous pilgrims, miracles from ancient monastic shrines... There he passed his first monastic obediences, there he felt the special prayerful help of his second grandfather, the Pochaev monk Svyatopolk. No wonder it is said that one monk saves several generations in the family.

Here is how his friend Viktor Saulkin recalls the young man Nikolay Savchuk:

“We met Father Nestor when he was Kolya Savchuk, Kolenka. Ýòî áûëî â 1983 ãîäó. We met like this: a young man, Nikolay Savchuk, appeared and offered us to paint the church.  Painting of the temple near Odessa. It was still pre-perestroika times, it was a complicated matter.  And we somehow saw that the guy is so kind, a pure soul, but not churched. And we invited him to help us, although he was not an artist. The work is difficult, on scaffolding, under a dome.  And, of course, over the six months of this work, we became unusually friends with him. He was an unusually kind and open person. Of course, in his youth, it was typical for him, if we talk about such qualities of an “old” person, he, out of his kindness, liked to promise a lot, tried to help everyone, but sometimes he did not have time.  Some people resented him.

And here's what's interesting, then, after taking the tonsure, all these qualities changed: he became such an obligatory person, he tried, worked hard on himself, knew his shortcomings. In general, it is amazing how before our eyes a person whom I knew when I was quite young, at the age of 20, how he later changed before our eyes, became a very attentive, very spiritual pastor. And when this happens to your comrade, who is always your junior comrade, it is especially surprising.

And then the temptation happened.  We worked for six months.  The painting of the temple was of the holy noble prince Alexander Nevsky in the village of Yaski. The work was very hard, very dangerous, under a dome.  The Commissioner for Religious Affairs then ordered the work to stop. The headman was a protege of the Executive Committee, and he simply forged documents and did not pay money for six months of work. And Father Nestor was an inexperienced man, for him all this documentation was unacceptable. And I just know people, artists, icon painters, who were knocked out for a long time by such temptations and taken away from the Church. And then a man who only began to become churched with us at this work. But it’s not that he doesn’t leave the Church, he gives up his residence permit in Odessa, is discharged and goes to Pochaev, to the Lavra.


2. Pochaev Lavra.

Before this work, we came from Pochaev.  We had a conversation with him.  He says:
— How to get to Pochaev?  I told him then:
 - You know, you need to pray especially to the Mother of God, so especially - and you will get.

And so he prays, goes to Pochaev and undergoes obediences in the Pochaev Lavra. And as soon as you arrive in Pochaev, a special officer-colonel comes up: “Why did you come here?  Why are you not at work?  Who you are?  Where are they registered?  What are you doing here?" It was necessary to hide from the colonel.  The novices had to hide. And so he was in obedience for six months, and there were sorrows, and, of course, huge ones.

The ancient Pochaev Lavra, which has not ceased to exist for centuries, made a strong impression on the young man. Icon and Foot of the Mother of God, the cave of St. Job, his missionary printing work in the spirit of genuine apostolic standing guard over Holy Orthodoxy, being surrounded by the Latin propaganda of papism – all this made a strong impression on the future Nestor. The cathedral church itself, with vaults painted with frescoes, rising to an immense height, delighted his soul. And besides, the persecuted monasticism, fleeing in the Lavra, was distinguished by great spirituality, although the communists planted mentally violent patients there in order to kill the spirit of the monks. There were great ascetics there, like the now glorified Saint Kuksha. There was also Father Ambrose, who later, like Nestor himself, was greeted by the kind bishop of the Volga region of Ivanovo, who instilled in young Nestor devotion to the monastic vocation.


3. Hierodeacon Svyatopolk.

In the Pochaev Lavra, Nikolay learned about his great-uncle: one of his grandfathers was a white (married) priest near Pochaev, and the second grandfather was Hierodeacon Svyatopolk. In the 1960s, the Mother of God appeared to him.

Then crafty atheists were allowed to govern the Russian country, chief among whom was the impious Nikita Khrushchev. And those atheists decided to close the Pochaev Monastery, where Father Svyatopolk labored. They put the monks in prisons, drove them even to death.  And so, when all the monastery supplies ran out, there was nothing to do, Father Vicar blessed the brethren to feed in the world. But then the Queen of Heaven appeared to Father Svyatopolk and forbade that blessing of the Viceroy. Father Svyatopolk said to Her: “But the brethren may not believe me.”  But the Most Pure One answered: “Well, then you will bring the brethren, and I will appear a second time.”  And so it was. He appeared humbly before the brethren and testified: “The Mother of God appeared to me, She forbids.” Then the elders go to his cell, as the Mother of God commanded them through him, and She appeared before everyone again and repeated Her prohibition. And the next day a convoy came to the monastery with bread, cereals and all kinds of food from Moldavia.  And he came, of course, with the blessing of the Mother of God. Thus, the closure of the Pochaev Lavra was then prevented.

In those days, Nikolay was still a very young boy and did not know anything about it, and when he grew up and became a monk himself, from the day he took monastic tonsure, throughout his charitable life, he especially felt the constant presence and spiritual support of his grandfather, the pious Hierodeacon Svyatopolk, to which he himself testified: “I especially began to feel him, Svyatopolk, his special kind of spiritual support ...”


4. Blessing to the seminary and refusal. Hegumen Pafnuty.

After graduating from school and then college, Nikolay served in the army in 1978-1980, in intelligence, where he underwent special training and learned hand-to-hand combat techniques. After he entered the Odessa University at the Faculty of Geology and Geography. He passed his first obediences in the Pochaev Lavra in 1985-86.

In Pochaev, the rector of the Moscow Theological Academy, Vladyka Alexander, meets him somehow. He liked Nikolay very much, he gave him a pray rope and says: "Come to enter the seminary." He comes from Pochaev to Moscow to enter the seminary, so inspired - the rector himself blessed.

He came to the seminary.  The Vladyka Rector coldly refused him. For Nikolay, this was a blow, but now we understand why the rector refused ... He submitted documents, Vladyka warmly welcomed him, and three days later he arrived - a dry refusal. Well, it's understandable why.  Because the government has banned it. He will not explain to a 20-year-old boy what is happening there.

“And then he stayed in Moscow. - Viktor Saulkin recalled.  - I left then to paint icons on the walls of the church. He lives in my room.  Well, how did he live? He had a very warm heart, a rug in front of the icons - and bows, after Pochaev.  He lit the lamp. Books and prostrations, 500 each. He was so good!  Such was his prayer, faith... And before that, there was another moment.  When we arrived in Moscow after that work, we did not know that we had not yet paid the money. He asks our artist friend Vitaly Dimitrievich, an experienced person in life: “How to live in the Church?” – He says: “You know, Nikolay, the seminary can take a lot away from you, you better go to church.  Go to the parish, to obedience - a more direct path, and you will go in obedience.  That's what he did."

And soon Nikolay already carried obedience to hegumen Pafnuty, a man of sacred prayer life. Batiushka was already old, old, at rest, a great prayer book.  Nikolay helped him at divine services in his home church, served as an altar boy. He was deeply impressed by the ministry of Father Pafnuty.  They served with him, went to different places. The priest became Nikolay's confessor and after some time introduced him to Vladyka Bartholomew (Gondarovsky), Archbishop of Tashkent and Central Asia. He blessed him to go to Vladyka Ambrose (Shchurov), Bishop of Ivanovo and Kineshma. From Father Pafnuty Nikolay received a great example of the experience of prayer.


5. The wisdom of the bishop.

It is impossible to understand the image of Father Nestor without taking into account the psychology of a person who turned to Christ, a person who found a living, personal Savior of his soul from the clearly tangible reality of the death of the soul, that is, a human personality, which is perfectly aware of the futility and meaninglessness of earthly life, a person who has realized the power of death and longs for a full life. Such people, awakened to an understanding of the principles of spiritual life and thirsting for true life, may seem unbalanced from the outside, but a stream of inner cheerfulness bubbles up in them, or, in the language of the church, it is a thirst for salvation. And for them, therefore, the Savior is the mysteriously living and reachable Jesus Christ, the Savior of the world. Few, even church people and even bishops, understand this psychology of a man who has found, as it were, the hem of his deliverer from the deadly bonds of this world, his Savior. So who found God was the young Savchuk. And his happiness lay in the fact that he found an understanding bishop who guided him on a spiritually active path, that is, he found an outlet for the energy bubbling in the heart of a newly converted Christian, the future father Nestor.

Bishop of Ivanovo, Bishop Ambrose, was a spiritually understanding person. He immediately understood the psychology of a young, newly revived Christian. He tonsured him as a monk, and ordained him a deacon, and soon as a very young man, a hieromonk. Vladyka himself was a sensitive soul, he suffered greatly from the enemies of genuine Christianity, the sly KGB officers everywhere, whose business was the systematic extermination of the memory of God; they intrigued people who showed a craving for God, were engaged in surveillance, interfered in other people's affairs, instilled fear - in a word, they did everything that demons have been and are doing from time immemorial.

To be a shepherd of Christ in such satanic conditions is a matter of the finest sensitivity of the soul. And by this he defeated the enemy and helped many to be independent Christians responsible before God. What tortures of the soul such Christ's archpastors have to endure for their spiritual children and especially for their subordinate shepherds! What a sensitive old man he was for the young, just beginning, ardent youthful pastor Nestor, whom he tonsured as a monk and placed not in monastic conditions, but in a secular parish. He knew what he was doing, and later, when Hieromonk Father Nestor died, he personally told us that it was clear to him that Father Nestor had fulfilled his desire – he had found the Lord. In his diocese, most of the clergy are in the monastic rank, there the monastic brotherhood has several monasteries and almost all of them are young, as, perhaps, everywhere in present-day Russia.

Nestor was among the spiritual children of Vladyka. For several years he was in obedience to him, and as a very active, very energetic, physically strong person, he was sent to many churches for restoration work. He had a very strong spiritual will.  He walked to God in a straight, narrow way, without turning to the sides and without rest.


6. Fathers Ambrose and David.  Temple revival.

There were many sorrows.  Once Nikolay told how, having visited one parish, he felt a special grace there, a special presence of the Queen of Heaven. And extraordinary beauty.  He spoke then about the village of Zharki, near Ivanovo.  Kazan miraculous icon, wonderful temple. But in obedience it was hard for him there.  They looked at the stranger, and even from Odessa, as a crook. And it was so embarrassing.  And he overcame the insult in the following way: he went to the cemetery, cried, prayed to the Mother of God and again - to obedience: to heat the stoves, chop firewood, and carry out various assignments. Vladyka Ivanovsky Ambrose fell in love with him very much.  He sent to restore temples.

For the first time Nikolay Savchuk appeared in the Ivanovo diocese in 1986.  He told me that he was in Zharki, was the headman of the temple and was engaged in overlapping the roof of the temple in Zharki with zinc iron. And at that time Zharki was such a place that the authorities had a negative attitude, because in 1984 Archimandrite Amvrosy (Yurasov) was appointed rector there, who in subsequent years was the confessor and rector of the monastery in Ivanovo.

Archimandrite Ambrose is known to be an active preacher. He came from Pochaev, from where he was expelled by the authorities for preaching the Gospel, and for some time he was an itinerant preacher, that is, not a single bishop received him anywhere, they could not accept him, and wherever he came, all the bishops refused to receive him and  they said that the KGB did not allow them to receive him.

Vladyka Ambrose took Fr. Ambrose to his place and appointed him rector of the Church of the Nativity of the Virgin in Zharki.  This man was known in Ukraine, and then they began to come to him from all over Ukraine. And the place has become quite famous.  It used to be that the train was moving, and the whole car was leaving.

What were the Zharki at that time?  Zharki is a temple that stood in a ruined village, in which there were only three houses and nothing else - a wasteland around. When Archimandrite Ambrose arrived there, he settled in a church house, repaired it beautifully, and built a bathhouse. And he set up a bunk, there were only bunk beds around the house.  And when the people came, they all spent the night on the bunk, and up to 50 people visited him. And the KGB arranged raids for him: they would come in cars, surround everyone, the police would run from all sides, and they would arrest these people, take them away, then check their identity and inform the KGB at the place of residence that they were going to this Ambrose, who was unreliable. The KGB followed him all the time.  Very soon, Vladyka rewarded him in every possible way, because he saw and appreciated his labors, he did everything for him in this life.  Vladyka acted very boldly.

And when the KGB was dissatisfied with this, they said: we are transferring Archimandrite Ambrose in Ivanovo to the cathedral, so that it would be better to monitor, just as Vladyka Ambrose from Tolpygino was once transferred to the cathedral in the 60s to monitor, so this Ambrose  , archimandrite, is also transferred to the cathedral, so that it would be better to conduct surveillance of him in the city.

And then it was necessary to appoint someone to the temple in Zharki, and abbot David (Efremtsev) was appointed there.  With this abbot David, Nikolay went as the headman of this temple. And somehow they did not have a relationship, although Abbot David himself is very good, and Nikolay was a kind person, but they had different temperaments.

This is what Nikolay (the future father Nestor) differed in: he went straight to the Lord without wagging, and gave his heart, he only struggled with sins.  He walked straight.  He had a special path, he was a man of very strong will, spiritual will. Although he, of course, endured many temptations there, in spite of all the sorrows, he fell in love with Zharki and said to his friends in Moscow: “I got to such a parish, you can’t imagine what grace is there!  There is a special presence of the Queen of Heaven.  And beauty! .. There is an unusual temple of the Kazan icon.  If the Lord made me worthy to be there! .. "

Vladyka sent him to restore temples, his friends were even afraid then, they thought: well, Vladyka will bless him now - and he will become a “supervisor”, and he is a man of such a prayerful mood.  But Vladyka will soon tonsure and ordain him.

Nikolai was a very honest and completely disinterested man, unmercenary, even recently they told him: “Father Nestor, well, sew yourself a new cassock!” And he says: "Yes, well, what are you, what are you."  Well, his cassock was bad then.  Then the spiritual children sewed a cassock for him.

Somehow, Father David came to the diocesan administration and asked to share him with Nikolay. But it was also bad to remove David, because he was a very spiritual priest, many people began to visit him. What was to be done? And then the Lord just sent that perestroika had begun and churches began to open, and the first church was opened in the city of Furmanov, not far from Tolpygino. And this temple was neglected, it was a dairy in the temple. A temple like the Yelokhovsky Cathedral in Moscow, huge. And there are 50 small domes on this temple.  All in all, there was a lot of work. And the temple is given away, and there is all the plaster in the temple, which is saturated with milk vapor, all of it could fall on people's heads, it could kill. And so Vladyka takes Nikolai from Zharki and assigns him to the city of Furmanov, to this temple, so that he would help put it in order there. Nikolai climbs the scaffolding, does everything everywhere, and Father David remained alone in the temple in Zharki, which is what he wanted.  The Lord somehow divorced them.

And then, when Father David was transferred to another church, this church in Zharki was freed, and Nikolay immediately ran to Vladyka and said: “Vladyka, I have already matured, I want to be a monk and hieromonk and only in Zharki.” Vladyka then immediately tonsured him, ordained him, and sent him to Zharki.

Father Nestor was pulled by Zharky.  The lost parish, far from the main roads, attracted this man, where he wanted to spend his life in humility and prayer. And it is surprising that the active energy did not pull him to the cities, to the great temples. On the contrary, with all his energy and openness to the world, he preferred to hide in a small village, as if in a desert, and serve in a temple, where every object is sanctified by his presence.

And he immediately begins his activities there, he paints the temple there.  He had many friends who were icon painters. They also came from Ukraine, from Odessa.  Painted the temple. Then they made the floors in the temple, well, in general, a lot of things were done.

People began to go to him now.  Such pious people, ordinary people, went to Fr. David, and the intelligentsia and all sorts of dissidents, thinking people went to Fr. Ambrose.  And all of them ended up with Father Nestor. And he himself enjoyed tremendous authority, because he was such a living person.  He immediately got a horse there, rode a horse.

In the diocese, all the guys, the monks give each other not only nicknames, but affectionate names, they called him “mermaid”, he was somewhat similar to a mermaid: his hair was so long, his face was pretty, his eyes were green, like those of a fish, and he was always so alive and alive, he ran like a fish in water, that's why they called him "mermaid".

And he preached and traveled everywhere a lot, he traveled to Ukraine, traveled to St. Petersburg, to Moscow, he was known everywhere.


7. The churching of a hooligan.

In October 1988, Father Nestor was ordained a deacon in the town of Shuya at the Resurrection Cathedral. He was ordained and served there for several days.  An interesting incident took place there. After ordination, since he was a secular person before that, that is, he was not a monk, he was still somehow not used to his new clothes and walked around in secular clothes. And now, after his ordination, he is so joyful, contented, radiant, standing at the bus stop. It was in the evening, the ordination had already been performed, dinner had taken place, everyone had eaten, the bishop had left.

Nestor is standing at the bus stop: in a hat, long hair, a small beard, with a briefcase. Several guys, very drunk, from such a youth who had nothing to do with the Church, approached him, grabbed him by the shirt and said:

- Shall you cut your hair?

 And he is silent, does not say anything to them.

“Why are you silent, why don’t you answer anything?”  Let's kick your ass in the face now.

And he again is silent and looks only at them and does not take his eyes off. Father Nestor, I must say, was a very strong man, physically, he served in intelligence, he was very strong and knew how to fight very well, very strong. And that's when one:

 “Show me the cross,” he stretched.

“Here is the cross,” Father Nestor says, “you must not touch it,” and removed his hand.

They are trying to beat him.  But he laughed, then said: they wave their hands, I move away, dodge, they cannot hit me. But then he remembered the briefcase with documents.  He turned around, and then they hit him right in the eye. And he fell, they started kicking him then.  And he was silent, did not say a word. And they were so furious that he didn’t scream, didn’t say anything.  Everything is silent. They are tired of beating him already.  And then he got up and they said to him:

 - Why are you silent?

And he is silent again, does not say anything to them.  And suddenly some people were walking there, grandmothers on the other side, and they recognized him that these guys were beating the one who had just been ordained in the service.  And they cried out:

- Guys, do you know who you beat?  This is the priest. And one guy looked at him and through the fog of alcohol he suddenly realized that this was really a priest, and he was so remorseful that he knelt before him and said:

- Father, forgive me, I did not know that you were a priest.

 Nestor answers him:

- And if I were not a priest, would it be good that you beat me?

And he began to cry, began to ask:

 “Sorry, forgive me.
 “God will forgive you,” he just said, nothing more.

And then the police arrive (these grandmothers call the police) and take everyone away.  They were taken away, arrested and had to be judged, because there were witnesses. And the police then wanted to arrange a show trial to show, as it were, that they were defending the Church.  They say that there were famous executions in Shuya, they started with Shuya, and now we will imprison them. But Father Nestor says:

 - I'm not going to write a statement.  I completely forgive them for the sins of youth.

- No, you write.

- No, I forgive them.  It's my business.

And when there was a trial, Father Nestor was invited, and he came.  And at the trial the police asked him, but he denied it.  They were forced to be released.  Nestor did not say anything to them, did not approach them.  And he left for himself.

And here is one, the boy who hit him in the eye, rushes to his parish to ask for forgiveness. He was 18 years old, named Andrew;  usually depraved for our days: he drank, smoked, did not know prayerful communion with God, was idle. He was threatened with five years in prison, because before that he had some offenses several times, and he was supposed to have a total of only 5 years in prison. And he came to him in Zharki, found him and said:

 “Father Nestor, I have come to repent before you.  And I brought you money.

They collected money and wanted to give him a bribe, as if to thank him in their own way for not jailing them.  And he says:

I won't take money from you.  If you really repent of what you have done, then stay with me and serve here in the church and atone for your sin in this way.

And he gave up everything, stopped drinking, smoking, left the world and settled with him.  Lived with him for two years.  And he completely became a church man.  Father Nestor baptized him.

And on the eve of the murder, he left Father Nestor.  And literally on the same night he dreams of Father John (Krestyankin) and says: "Come back immediately to Father Nestor."  But he still didn't come back. And he later learned that Father Nestor had been killed.  And he came to the funeral, cried and said: “How could I leave him on the eve of death?!” He lived in a house next door, very close to Father Nestor. He says: “If I had stayed, then maybe he would have been alive then (because he often visited him), but I left him, and at that moment they killed him.”

And then he lived there, Andrew, so pious.  This is God's Providence... It would seem an accident, but providentially: he hit a deacon in the eye - and then he himself was saved because of this, or became a church, in any case.


8. Zharki village.
 From the notes of nun Anna (Bukharova).

The Church of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin Mary in the village of Zharki, in the Yuryevets district of the Ivanovo region, has existed for more than 200 years. These places are already considered a taiga zone.  In the area of the village of Zharki, there were once beautiful water meadows. There were many villages that disappeared before our eyes: Gar, Yablonovo, Usovo, Basharino...

The Resurrection Church in the village of Elnat, at a distance of 7 km, was revered. In it, in the 17th century, St. Simon the Blessed labored for several years, who was found nearby in the forests and brought to the church in Yelnat. Subsequently, from Yelnati, the blessed Simon went to Yuryevets, where many witnessed his miracles (walking on the waters, extinguishing the fire) and where he went to the Lord after he was severely beaten by order of the local voivode, who later repented greatly and himself buried the blessed Simon. The relics of the saint rest under a bushel in the Church of the Ascension in the city of Yuryevets.  The memory of Simon the Blessed - May 23.

In Zharki, the icon of the Kazan Mother of God was revealed, which to this day is located there in the church.  During haymaking, people saw an icon in the thick grass.  It was an icon of the Kazan Mother of God, quite large. They took the icon to take it to the church in Kamenniki.  But when they began to approach the river, the people carrying the icon began to go blind.  And people understood that the Most Holy Theotokos did not want to leave these places. Then a chapel was built on a hill in Zharki, an icon was placed in it, and they vowed to build a temple on this place later. The temple in Zharki, unlike many others, was not destroyed or desecrated during the last persecution.  It remained closed for about two years, from 1939 to 1942, where grain was stored. The activists removed the bells, threw them down, but three small bells still survived.

Now the parish churches are left without their villages, which inevitably disappear.  There will be no more such as we still remember them. Empty fields overgrown with trees, “white handkerchiefs” do not flicker, these workers and prayer books do not rush to the temple, do not file notes for their deceased soldiers - husbands, sons, and dear brothers. How many of them the temple in Zharky saw, how many of their tears were in front of the Kazan icon, how many requests were heard by these amazing, compassionate faces of saints.

The old generation is gone.  These were “warriors”, and we are “blind, lame and wretched at the crossroads”, but “he who loves the Lord in the last times will rise above our fathers”. The Lord gives the same reward to those who came to His field later than everyone else, and to those who labored from the beginning.

... When we arrived in Zharki, Father Nestor (Savchuk) met us at the house right on the street - in a cassock, young, with his beautiful white-toothed smile and always slightly sad eyes. And then he announced to us: “I prayed that the Lord would send people.  So He heard my prayer.” We were given tea.  There were two other clergy in the room, all young. Then Father Nestor said that it was now Great Lent and we would soon go to worship.

Local grandmothers fell in love with Father Nestor immediately, despite his youth.  How he fit into these northern Volga expanses, and how he, so young, became their father, is inexplicable for an unbeliever. Father Nestor never took off his cassock - "this is my military clothing."  Strong-willed.  And his neophyte faith was bright, convinced, pure.

When Father Nestor left, one by one, the grandmothers also began to leave very quickly.

A very beautiful temple standing in a remote place was robbed three times - ancient icons of the 16th and 17th centuries were preserved in it. The tragedy of the criminal attack on churches and icons in the 1990s has not yet been realized by us.


9. Father Nestor in Zharki.

Father Nestor prayed to the Mother of God to go to Zharki by ordination. The place there is special, deaf, far from the main roads. The land is indescribable, of some very lyrical Russian beauty. People live from the earth - by the labors of their hands.  The Church of the Nativity of the Virgin is visible from afar. It hurts to look at such villages. Once crowded and noisy, where many generations of people were saved;  were born, grew up, played, danced round dances, worked in the sweat of their brows, experienced misfortunes and joys, and now - under the yoke of the fight against God - dying out. The big temple remembers the times when the parishioners filled it, prayed with the whole village, they had communion in agreement with the Body and Blood of Christ, but now there is only a priest and a few parishioners in it, deserted, there are no more people in the village.

On May 31, 1989, Nikolay Savchuk was tonsured with the name Nestor in honor of the Monk Nestor the Chronicler in the Holy Cross Church of St. Seraphim and became the spiritual son of Bishop Ambrose.

On September 3, 1989, Vladyka ordains him a hieromonk at the Transfiguration Cathedral in the city of Ivanovo and appoints him as rector at the Church of the Nativity of the Virgin in the village of Zharki. Along with the ordination, he received an award - a priestly legguard.

And so Father Nestor ends up in Zharki. Zharki is an extraordinary place. Indeed, the Queen of Heaven Herself marked this place with Her Kazan icon - it was found there, and then a temple was erected in this place in honor of the Nativity of the Virgin. He prayed to the Mother of God that, if he was ordained, he would get to Zharki. Before Father Nestor, the priests served there for a year or a year and a half, and he only served for the fifth year. And there is a prophecy in Zharki.  There are the graves of two blessed, tortured by the Bolsheviks. So, the blessed ones left a prophecy that the priest who stays in this village until his death will be saved. Father Nestor said: “I don’t want to go anywhere from Zharkov.  - I feel it in my heart.  - How to stay here all my life ... I will pray to the Mother of God to stay in Zharki all my life.

And he was the only one of the priests who lived in the unfortunate twentieth century before his death in Zharki. The miraculous image of the Mother of God, called Kazan, on the site of the appearance of which a church was built, in which Father Nestor was the rector, he especially revered. This image remains in the temple to this day. The young, energetic and strong monk did not rush to cities, to large parishes, but he loved a secluded village, like deserts.

In Zharki, he overcame economic temptations in himself, because he wanted to do everything himself. And he loved to pray, he served with zeal, his services were in full order. Vespers lasted 5 hours, and this was especially shocking.  In winter, five grandmothers stand in the church (the village was already dying, there was no one there), and the service went on for 5 hours.

People began to come to him.  Father Victor came and became a deacon.  Father Nestor wanted to revive this place.

Here is how the pilgrims remember:

“We first came to Zharki then and suddenly saw that Russia is average, it’s just that Russia is a land of indescribable, some very delicate beauty, and this church was visible from everywhere from different angles and always in different ways. We saw a young hieromonk and little by little we began to understand what a huge burden lay on him. We saw that everyone around, both young and old, was waiting for his blessing, that he kind of brings everything together here, advises on very different issues, from family to economic. And the economy of the church was considerable and, I must say, quite well-established, despite the fact that the community is very small, there is almost no money. And people live by themselves, with their own hands, their labor and land.

I remember that his house was in perfect order, somehow very light and clean. And Father Nestor joked that the main thing for a monk is a broom and a samovar, that is, the house should be clean and there should be hot tea, and only then fasting and prayer.  Well, of course it was a joke. The main thing was the service and prayer.  He never shortened the services, they often lasted a very long time, but he was a very young man and he must have had many hobbies. He loved horses, just loved life.  He liked to look out the window, how he laughed, it replaced his TV.

In the early years, it was hard for him there, because, by diligence, he wanted a lot. But before our eyes, from a zealous young monk, he became such a spiritually experienced person, as he already saw human weaknesses, as he saw who could accommodate as much, sometimes allowed some kind of consolation. A lot of people flocked to him.  At his funeral (it was still very difficult to get there), the temple was packed, even in the porch they stood. Moreover, they came from Ukraine, from St. Petersburg, Moscow, from Odessa, that is, it turned out how many people he managed to feed spiritually! And people walked and walked, the procession behind the coffin dragged on and on... Zharki, I don't know if they've ever seen anything like this. This temple, probably, has not seen such a number of people since pre-revolutionary times.

He baptized many.  He loved to pray, he always prayed reverently. With special trepidation, like everyone who was in Pochaev, he honored the Mother of God. He was completely in the will of God, all constantly in prayer.  But it was hidden from the eyes of strangers. It used to happen that Father Nestor would hang a castle from the outside, sneak into his house unnoticed through the barn, hold the door from the inside and stay for a day or two in solitary prayer. And the Lord gave His beloved love and patience.

The community was small, Father Nestor fed everyone at the temple. It was scarce at times, but no one was denied a meal.

After prayers before the icon of Kazan, Father Nestor anointed the parishioners with oil from the lamp. And healings began to take place. With amazement and inspiration, the young priest thanked the Mother of God. A special prayer was always performed in front of that icon.


10. Reverent.

Father Nestor loved to pray, he prayed, indeed, very reverently, he always prayed, and in particular before the miraculous Kazan Icon. He said: “When I first began to serve, we always made 50 prostrations, an akathist, a prayer service to Kazanskaya. I anoint grandmothers with oil from the lamp - and diseases disappear.  The Mother of God gives. There are two such amazing icons: Kazan and Skoroshlushnitsa Iberian Athos writing, huge. The icon is wonderful!  He constantly performed such prayers.

In winter, artists Viktor and Sergei came from Moscow to help him paint the temple, worked on the scaffolding, and Father Nestor served: in the temple, Father Victor sings on the kliros, 2-3 grandmothers pray - and the service goes on for five hours.

He had a special reverence for the Mother of God (like everyone who visited Pochaev), he felt Her so reverently, so he always prayed to Her in some special way ...

There was once a wonderful case with him.  Father Nestor was praying at the altar when ball lightning suddenly struck. The attic caught fire.  People ran with buckets to put out the fire, but Father Nestor did not interrupt his prayer: “Well, nothing,” he stood and prayed. They splashed a bucket - not enough, the fire did not weaken.  The one who splashed fell - it was impossible to approach the burning rafters, the fire grew stronger. Father Nestor calmly continued to pray, and suddenly - just two or three more buckets - everything hissed violently, the flame went out by itself.

At the Liturgy or when a prayer service is going on, Father Nestor, of course, if the notes were submitted, read, and then he gets up in the altar and himself commemorates those for whom he always prayed. It took him about 10 minutes - just from memory. Some write down everyone in the commemoration book, commemorate, but from memory he always prayerfully commemorated several hundred names of those whom he constantly kept in his mind and for whom he prayed. Moreover, no matter what prayer service he serves, he will always remember everyone.  And his spiritual children, and those who ask to pray.

Lately, it has been hard for him, the last year, not only assassination attempts and robberies, he just went through some kind of deep sorrows, that is, already, apparently, the Lord cleansed him before his death ... Many people came, he led them spiritually well, but he was quite young. He often could not explain something, but he saw that it was not saving them;  and the demons raised up a battle against the confessor. In general, he, a meek person by nature, had a strong will, but tried not to offend people. And in the last year he had very great sorrows.  He tells his friends, “I can't.  The worst thing is that I'm a monk, I can't be offended. The Lord gives me, I pray for them.  But it’s a shame that those to whom you do good most of all, they are so ... well, absolutely for nothing, and they condemn you with such terrible slander.

He suffered a lot from condemnation, that is, those people who should have helped him, they condemned him very strongly. Friends tried to talk to them somehow from the outside, because they saw how hard it was for him. Hieromonk, who stands and prays for them all, and those people who should be a support, for whom he did the most good, they condemned him. And he endured it all.  I remember my last conversation with him:

— The Lord will sometimes give me the strength to pray, and sometimes my heart will already shrink, but I can’t be offended.
— Of course not, you're a monk.  You chose this path...
— Yes Yes.  That is OK.  Mother of God will help...

And how did he endure all these sorrows?  He had one remedy - he would simply become a prayer - and that's it.  He is all about prayer.

And in general he had such a moment.  He was a very active person, as if running around like that, trying everything himself, then he feels ... but no. He began to pray - and somehow everything is arranged.  Even in small things, in some circumstances.

One day a friend, Hieromonk, was visiting him. And when it was time to return to his place, he was in a hurry to go to work, but they missed the bus due to the fault of Father Nestor, then they went to the owner of the only car in the village, and his “Muscovite” turned out to be completely disassembled. The hieromonk began to grumble, saying that because of you I am late for the service.  Father Nestor began to pray, said: “Now the Mother of God will help...”

They went, and suddenly someone came to his parishioner in a Toyota - an amazing thing for a remote village.
 — Will you take me?
 - Of course.
There were many such cases in his life.  He was completely in the will of God.  Everything is in prayer.  But it remained hidden from outsiders.

He did many, many things, all in prayer. So he often spoke, but many did not understand, and yet they saw his activities.  Even the priests of some of the neighborhood said: “Here is Father Nestor running around.” And the inner life is hidden, it was necessary to live with him in a cell.  And his cell was like a monastic one: pretty hard bunks, a mattress;  He very rarely heated the stove in his cell. The lectern in front of the icon of the Mother of God, the icon of Feodorovskaya, photographs of children, godchildren and just children for whom he prayed, photographs of his closest ones, and books, and a desk, a wardrobe - cassocks, a mantle hung there. Such an empty cell.  And in the room where he met guests, it was somehow more comfortable there, he always tried to receive guests.

Once a friend of his lived with him in a cell, he recalls how Father Nestor would often come ... let's say, he celebrated his grandmother in some village. Waist-deep in snow, then there was no horse, there was no sleigh, waist-deep in snow he would get from somewhere, he would come tired.

- Well, are you tired?  You lie down, sleep!
 He says:
 - No no...

He gets up to pray, then sleeps for two hours and gets up for the service, as a rule.  Such was the ascetic. But few people knew about this, because outwardly he was such a very cheerful and very sociable person. He only revealed his inner life to those who were close in spirit. And sometimes he just did such a thing: he would close the house with a padlock for a day or two and simply did not leave the cell - a cell prayer ... Everyone comes up - the lock hangs, and he will go through the barn, there he will prop up the doors and that's it, and so for two or three days at prayer. He said: “I will arrange such a small solitude for myself when I feel that I can no longer stand it.  And again, there are forces.

One summer he was in Yuryevets.  It was getting dark, and his spiritual child Galina offered to stay for the night, but Batiushka then said: “No, why, it’s twenty kilometers away.  It’s so good at night: for now I’ll go, pray, and remember all of you.”

Father Nestor's cell was modest: a lectern in front of the Feodorovskaya Icon of the Mother of God, hard bunks with a mattress, a locker, and a desk. On the wall are photographs of the godchildren for whom he prayed.  In addition to cassocks and mantles, he had no personal belongings. True, there were spiritual books that he loved so much, and among them there was always a new issue of the Russian Palomnik journal, which he especially loved. He also had a second, more comfortable room in his house - for guests.  In winter, the stove was heated very rarely. Sometimes he had to go waist-deep in snow to a neighboring village to perform unction.  He will return tired, but will immediately go to prayer, then he will rest for a couple of hours and - to the service, to the rule. But few people guessed about his ascetic life.  Outwardly, he always remained a very sociable and cheerful person.

Father Nestor loved spiritual books.  Close to him were the works of Father Seraphim (Rose) from distant America. A portrait of Father Seraphim hung in his cell on the wall. And he tried a lot so that people would have a convenient opportunity to buy soulful literature. At many railway stations he set up shops with Orthodox literature. He was direct and open, and many of the chiefs of the railroad respected him.

The Lord gave him love and patience.  It's amazing how it becomes in a year or two. A man who spoke not only deep spiritual things, but even just such spiritual wisdom. He saw human weaknesses and understood where it is possible to tell a person and where it is not necessary - he will not accommodate. At the beginning of his monastic life, he dreamed of seclusion.  He wanted to go into seclusion somewhere, but then I realized what it was ... Not so easy.

He really was, as his friend Evgenia Avdeenko said on the day they learned about his death - you just need to write on his grave: Reverent Father Hieromonk Nestor.


11. Gifts of God.

Father Nestor carried out his monastic rule without fail, no matter what.  He loved to read akathists, especially to St. Nikolay the Wonderworker. If there was an important matter for the temple, he immediately took up the akathist, and miracles happened through his prayers.

The parishioners noticed that whatever Fr. Nestor asked of God was being accomplished.  There were many examples of this. At that time it was difficult to get the most necessary things, but here such a large temple needs to be restored. So he went - begging for bricks, then cement, then nails.  The temple was restored literally by his prayers, his sweat and blood.

Vera Alexandrovna Alova, a parishioner of Father Nestor, said: “Somehow I had a severe headache.  And on that day, it was necessary to help Father Nestor. I barely made it home, I told the priest that I couldn’t go anywhere.  He says: "Drink some tea and the headache will go away." I can't even drink because of the pain.  He bowed his head and stared at me intently, then looked away - and again looked silently. My pain began to subside and then completely disappeared.  But joy came and strength returned. I said in amazement: “Father Nestor, do you also heal with prayers?!” And he abruptly cut me off: "Be quiet and don't tell anyone about this."  And that evening we did a lot of things with him.  That was his prayer! But he always tried to hide it.  So it was at that time - he offered one thing, then another, to cover up the prayer. But God arranged it so that I could see that he had the gift of healing.”
      
Another parishioner of the church, Galina Anatolyevna Karavanova, who lived in Ivanovo, testified:

“One day my daughter and I were sitting, and she said: “I wish Laponka would come now.” The children loved Father Nestor very much, they called him Laponka.  I answer my daughter: “But how will he come here?  After all, he is far away, in Zharki. And she sits, grieving.  We spent the whole day in sadness. In the evening, suddenly - a knock on the door.  I think: "This is a neighbor came."  I open the doors - and I can’t believe my eyes: Father Nestor is standing! He smiles and says to me: “Why did you call me?”  Oh, and joy was then!

And once father Nestor cured my daughter at a distance.  She fell ill then, the temperature was 40. And I was in Zharki, in the temple at the liturgy.  My heart was breaking, I wanted to urgently go to my daughter. But no matter how many times I tried, Father Nestor did not bless.  Finally he came out of the altar, came up to me and said, "Let's go." We left the temple, sat on a bench, and he said to me: “Everything will be fine with your daughter.  You don’t have to go now, you don’t have to leave the liturgy.” Then he took the prayer rope and began to pray.  He says after a while: “Here it became easier for her” … Then: "Here the temperature began to subside."  But I don’t believe it, because my daughter always had a temperature for a long time. And the father continues: “Here she got up!  She went out into the street."  I could not stand it, I said: “Yes, this cannot be!” And he told me: “Here you are, time to mark, what time it is now;  and when you come home, then ask how it was.  Then you will know that I told you the truth." And so, when I arrived home, I found out that everything was exactly as he said.  Both the husband and the neighbor were only surprised at Sashenka's quick recovery.

With all the labors of Father Nestor, prayerful and worldly, people offended him a lot.  And he said that every insult is a gift from above. He was all in prayer.  But it was hidden from the eyes of strangers.


12. Abkhazia.

Father Nestor knew missionary, apostolic zeal for Christ. When the war began in Abkhazia, his soul ached.  Secular propaganda said that Christians were at war with Muslims. But he had been to Abkhazia before, he knew the truth: Abkhazians are not Muslims, although some of them are under the influence of Islam. Not Muslims and not pagans, they know their Orthodox history.  There is not a single mosque in Abkhazia, but there are ancient Orthodox churches. And Father Nestor wrote a petition to His Holiness Patriarch Alexy II to send him as a missionary there, thinking: “That’s why I’m ready to leave Zharki even for a while.” But there was no blessing for that, and Elder John (Krestyankin) wrote to him: “What mother would leave her children and go to strangers?” And father Nestor understood, and remained in obedience.  But before that, he happened to be in Abkhazia on his vacation. He knew places there, stunning in their beauty, but disturbing and dangerous. Mountain trails, militants armed to the teeth, riot police, snipers in ambushes. Death is stalking people at every turn. He preached a lot among the Cossacks, soldiers, but the questions, when there was a serious danger nearby, were of a different nature, not like in peaceful lands. People did not reach out, but just rushed to the priest.  Death is near, and God is near.

And he nevertheless went for a while to Abkhazia.  Cameramen became his companions.  Here is how one of the participants of the expedition tells about it.

“We had our own tasks, Father Nestor wanted to find the parents of his monastic spiritual father.  There was no news from them, but there was still a war going on.

It just so happened that our path to Abkhazia lay through the cordons of the Caucasian State Reserve, the border of which is the border of Russia. There, on the cordons, the priests did what they should do: baptized, married ... There is no church here, the place is quite deaf.  And Father Nestor was in a hurry to baptize both adults and children, to marry them right here, in the field, in the midst of this amazing nature. The times were very disturbing, the places were serious and dangerous, near the border. Young foresters of the Caucasian reserve had to walk along these paths, where they could easily meet with a detachment of militants armed to the teeth. Often they had to be conductors of the Russian riot police detachments, which then held the border, and even snipers in ambushes. Anything could happen, and Father Nestor believed that they should be ready for anything. At the same time, funeral services were served at the village cemetery, including one of our old friends, who until the end of his life defended this reserve from all kinds of poaching. Then it was not as clear to us as it is today that these people, the one who serves the memorial service, and the one who lies under this cross, are very similar, because each of them protects his own reserve to the very end.

On a helicopter of the Russian riot police, we managed to get to the extreme point of the border, to Lake Kardyvach. Then there was the most advanced riot police detachment, which actually held the main path across the border. All sorts of detachments with any intentions could go through this path, and the task was to prevent weapons from getting into Russia, because weapons are death. Quite unexpectedly, right at the helicopter, Father Nestor met a forester he knew, who was now a sniper in the riot police detachment.

The Russian priest, who then appeared among the people who undoubtedly defended Russia at that time in a difficult and dangerous place, left a mark on their souls.  The riot police met very joyfully.

Abkhazia was within easy reach, there was only one pass, and besides, it was not so difficult. It so happened that I, and father Victor, and father Nestor once walked through it in peacetime. But today it was impassable, because it was along it, in fact, that the border passed, which at that time was almost a front line. And then there were unprecedented autumn rains, and the rivers swelled, became impassable, terrible. We had to make a long way to get where we were in such a hurry.  And yet we got there.

Here, in the midst of chaos and death, he, the priest, was needed by people even more. “Father, pray for us,” some said desperately, while others smiled crookedly. Father Nestor insisted that, together with the Abkhaz priest Father Vissarion, we go to the Georgian prisoners, and on the way we met a scary-looking man who looked menacingly in our direction. Nothing good comes from such meetings.  But the priest of God was not afraid. He looks, and the man’s head is tied with a ribbon with the prayer “Alive in the help of the Most High.” “Why don’t you fit under the blessing?  You see, in front of you is an Orthodox priest!” — He was not at a loss and literally commanded: “Well, on your knees!” And he fell on his knees, accepting the blessing, and they parted in peace.

Father Nestor addressed the captives with a sermon about peace and love:

“... We also pray for the virtuous, the captive and the laboring.  Captives are people who are in captivity. And everything can be solved peacefully.  Everyone should stay on their own. I have my own house, I have my own family, my own hearth, all this is my sacred, and none of us should encroach on someone else's. This is what the Church has always said, says and will say, because the Church is love.  I also ask the Abkhazian people not to be angry with you. I do not indicate to you, I have no right, you yourself will choose the path that you like.  My call to peace. Love the peace, appreciate it, because in all regions, not only of our country, but of the whole world, something inhuman is happening.  What does a person need?  Eat and dress. Is it necessary for him to have these luxurious cars, is it necessary to wear some kind of luxurious clothes, does this improve a person’s life?  Or purifies the human soul? Just need to work.  Why?  Let there be a piece of black bread, but it is mine, I sleep peacefully and I am clean before God. Do not deviate from Christian truths.  It is impossible to deviate from Christian truths.

It is a pity, of course, all - those and you.  You are all children of God.  For me, there is no such issue as nationality, you are all people, you are all sons of God, and I and you are one and the same blood. But the thoughts are different, the heart is different and the soul is different. Do not succumb to the enemy of our common Satan, do not succumb, because he draws you there, he sucks you in with his temptation, the beautiful world visible, and this is all charm, that is, a deception, because you enjoyed it, but it's time to die and regret that you are this  enjoyed, because you do not know what awaits you there. And there, oh, what awaits those who did not live according to the commandments of God, not according to the statutes of the Church, which the Lord God gave through his prophets and all the saints. In reality, who lives by his own will, and his own will is the will of Satan ... "

We returned, it was time to go home.  We crossed the border again, now on the other side. And Father Nestor again talked with the soldiers, now with Russian soldiers. And the last, perhaps the most joyful memory was these few days of crossing the reserve.  It was an incredibly beautiful October. I remember Father Nestor then went upstairs alone. After all these turbulent events, after many impressions, he longed to be at least a little alone up there in the forest hut.

- I want to be alone, to pray.

We ask the conductors:

- Is there such a place?
- Yes, they say - seven kilometers away.

Everyone is already falling off their feet.  Another seven kilometers up there is an abandoned hut.  And now he is already climbing the mountains alone, just to retire and pray there at night.

Comes.  Hunting hut.  He got up and prayed: very well, there were some supplies, he prepared food. Suddenly, probably poachers tumble in, they say:

- And who are you?
 “What,” he says, “have you never seen an Orthodox priest?”  And well, under the blessing, fold your hands like this.

They stood up and blessed.

- Well, what, - he says, - guys?  And he began to preach to them.  They do not disperse, but he already wants to sleep, after all, there were such transitions.

And they:

 - No, no, Father, we will still listen to you.  Then he slowly began to speak to them:

 - Well, oh, oh, brothers ...

And so it is calm, and after seven minutes he looks - they fell asleep.

That's the kind of person he was, Father Nestor.  After 20 kilometers of crossings, he could climb another seven kilometers alone through the snow into the mountains, just to retire for prayer ... It is clear that prayer meant a lot to him.

There were a lot of raspberries on the way, we were in no hurry anywhere, we ate these raspberries, grazed the horses.  In the mountains, winter comes early and always unexpectedly.  It snowed in October. For a very long time, Father Nestor dreamed of putting a cross here, almost on the border of Russia.  But all this depended on our strength, on time, on the weather, on how tired the horses were, on how the border guards would let us through. And quite by chance for us it so happened that we put the cross on the feast of the Exaltation of the Cross of the Lord.


13. Dream of a martyr's crown.

And three years before that, even before the missionary trip to the Caucasus, he said: “I have such a burning desire - I would receive a martyr's crown! Because I feel that in my youth I was a sinful person.  So I want a martyr's crown, because the Lord has vouchsafed me such mercy. How can I repay the Lord?  The Lord, by His mercy, has led me to serve as a priest for Him, and how can I thank Him?”

One summer, Father Nestor was sitting in the hayloft with his close friend Viktor Saulkin, who painted the temple for him, confessed: “You know, I prayed to the Mother of God to grant me a martyr’s crown.” Viktor, a little older, who had come to the Church earlier, who had once helped Kolya Savchuk to enter the Church, said with a smile: “Look, you are cunning!  We endure sorrow here, and he once - and into the Kingdom of Heaven. Who are you to be worthy of a martyr's crown?  Do you know to whom the Lord sends martyr's crowns? Yes, you must be worthy of the crown of martyrdom!  You still have to pull the parish priest's strap!” — “Yes, I understand... But I prayed... Here, maybe the Mother of God will send?.. Maybe She will.”

And after the murder of the monks in Optina Hermitage, he said: “What a wonderful death for a monk, death for Christ, to suffer like this for Christ. Well, only the Lord can send such a thing, a special mercy.  To suffer for Christ... How I kindly envy them, the monks of Optina...” And he commemorated them prayerfully.


14. Temple robbery.

In the spring of 1993, a robbery was committed on the Church of the Nativity of the Virgin in Zharki, there was generally a strange story there. I must say, Father Nestor was very active, he baptized many people, he baptized the police, he opened a church in Yolnat... He was a real preacher. It cannot be said that he delivered sermons brilliantly, but he always spoke somehow from the heart, and prayer was more given to him. He always spoke sincerely, and everything went from his heart.  This was in the month of March.  Father Nestor said:

“I arrived, saw the devastated church, and my heart wept ... And we immediately all who were there, 50 bows to the Mother of God, in front of the Kazan icon, an akathist with a prayer service.” And around there is a deserted place.  You can get to Zharki in winter on a sleigh, in spring, of course, preferably in waders, and then ... but in summer it's fine. And here it is already March, the snow is melting.  And so Father Nestor was running around, running about 20 kilometers through the melted snow, looking for traces. He ran with a prayer, and yet he found traces.  He saw the car somewhere near the forest.  He thinks they should hide somewhere.  Flashed. Father Nestor hid the cassock under his coat, put his skufya in his pocket, hides his beard, and under the guise of a drunk approaches the car to look at the license plates. Some kind of Caucasian bandit is sitting in the car.  Father Nestor says: “Take it to Kostyaevo,” he starts to stagger. The Caucasian jumps out, wants to beat Father Nestor, but he dodges.  And at the same time he needs to see the license plate of the car... “For me,” he says, “of course, it didn’t cost anything to detain him by force, but it was impossible, I had to look at the license plates of the car.”  He looked at the numbers: "Well, okay, okay, I'll go." And he went, and immediately raised the district police officer.  There was a whole chase, the bandits fired point-blank at him with a sawn-off shotgun, but the shotgun misfired.  They were caught, they took that car, they returned all the icons.

And when this gang was imprisoned, Father Nestor said: “I would forgive them ... The leader of the gang is a young guy, he graduated from the Institute of Culture and has never been convicted, while the rest have several convictions.  But he didn't have an iota of remorse in his eyes. I told him: “What made you, Nikolay, make you rob the temple?”  “Need,” he says, “Father.”  There was a fear of prison, but there was not a drop of remorse.”

And when the bandits came to Father Nestor to ask him to withdraw the application and release their comrades whom he had caught, he repeated the words of Metropolitan Philaret: "Forgive your enemies, crush the enemies of the Fatherland, abhor the enemies of God." And they, he says, are both enemies of the Fatherland and enemies of God.  I,” he says, “can’t forgive them.”

And then friends for the first time say to him:
 - Not afraid?
 “If I get hurt, well, that’s the protection of the temple.”

There were then several assassination attempts on him.  But, defending the temple of God, the priest of Christ remained firm.

His friends were afraid for him, of course.  Later there were several assassination attempts. In the summer there was another attempt.  The bandits burst into his cell, and they could shoot him.  When he came out in the evening, they approached him, pointing a gun: “Hands up!” He looked, turned and went, locked the door with a key, realized that they would not shoot. And so they began to break into his cell window, and Vladyka had already blessed then that the police would put a walkie-talkie for him after attempts to rob icons.  And Vladyka blessed the rocket launcher to give signals. They broke the window and he fired a flare gun to scare them.  Specially fired, so as not to hit people, of course. They looked, waited until the rocket went out, and again climbed inside through the window!

Can you imagine?!  And what does it mean to shoot a rocket at a person?  This is a huge hole, this is death, there cannot be any wounded. And they climb, despite this.  Although, apparently, they knew that the hieromonk would not kill.  What if he gets scared and shoots?  In a person.  Can you imagine?!  And they, not being afraid of that, climbed into his house.

He closed this first room, went to the cell, put a window in the cell.  And exposing the glass, he cut his hands. Well, he squeezed a vein with his hand, took a rocket launcher, jumped out, ran, and where he ran, he sprinkled blood on the place where he is now buried. And yet they took one icon, well, this icon was the first one they came across ... They, of course, climbed over his soul, this icon was not worth such labor for them. And they were caught again.  Returned the icon.  And then the Sovereign Icon came to him.  Instead of that icon came the Sovereign Icon of the Mother of God.

Well, in the summer, all that summer, the bandits were just wandering around there like wolves around Father Nestor. Friends came then, went with him to guard the temple at night.  Already feared for him, of course. There was such a premonition, they prayed, but what could be done ... There is a distant village.  But, of course, he was not afraid of anything. He was simply an extraordinary person, he entrusted himself to the will of God.  And by human qualities, by his character, he was very brave.  Intrepid! One colonel, who knew him during the war in Abkhazia, testified that he was not afraid of anything: neither splinters, nor bullets.


15. Bookstores.

Father Nestor was a very active person.  He was engaged in the organization of shops of Orthodox books throughout the railway. He was respected by all the authorities, he was a very direct person, and somehow he had a good effect on everyone with his faith.

He read and sold a lot of books, a lot passed through him.  And more than once he distributed the books of Father Seraphim (Rose). Everyone in Russia knows Father Seraphim.  This phenomenon is very big. Especially his book "The Soul After Death", a very necessary and useful book, and generally very outstanding from all modern literature. There is nothing more impressive for a person, nothing more important than this modern book. Father Nestor loved the "Russian Palomnik" very much too.  He had all the numbers. In his cell, where he was killed, hung a portrait of Father Seraphim of Platina - on the right side of the corner with icons near the window.

Here's what else he did then.  He decided to open a wooden chapel on the grave, at Simon's spring.  There was already a project. He was supposed to donate money to the temple, but he decided that the parish was small, there were no parishioners, it would be better to have a chapel for the righteous Simon.

He himself took care of the household of his community, and everyone who lived with him in the parish, everyone always fed, that is, how many people came - he could feed everyone. He set up a small community, though sometimes poorly, but he had a common meal there, the skete was small. He wanted there to be a courtyard of the Valaam Skete, that is, lands that would go to Valaam.

Until the last day, he arranged everything, set things up, moved things forward.  On December 29, 1993, he arrived in Moscow. When all the issues had already been resolved and all the problems settled, he went to his Moscow friends for the last time: “So I arranged everything, all the bookshops ... Finally, now the mountain is off my shoulders. It is so hard for me, because many condemn, reproach, here, in particular, those who were supposed to help.  Why, they say, nothing is needed.  Do not understand.  I'm not doing this for myself. I just need to pray... I want Orthodox books to be sold at all stations.  How hard it is for me.  I would like to shut myself up and pray. Well, nothing, now I'll have a rest ... Everything has already gone, everything has gone ... I've done everything, I've adjusted everything.  Now I can pray."

We wanted to go somewhere together.  “No,” he says.  - You sent me, please, a few more books, tomorrow send by train, and I will already meet you on a horse. Finally, everything is ready, now everything, thank God. No, not after Christmas, but after Epiphany, you and I, I’ll take a short vacation, go to Odessa (Father Nestor wanted to open an Orthodox gymnasium in Odessa - there were many acquaintances there, he was respected) and maybe we’ll go to Abkhazia. Now, finally, I can go there and just pray for two weeks.

We also wanted to go to Optina, since he really wanted to go to Optina, he wanted to visit Father John (Krestyankin) again in the Pskov-Caves Monastery. He went to see him, and Father John blessed his cassock even before he was tonsured.

He said: “It’s so hard alone, so I saw you, I’m with you for a day and - rested, rested spiritually, because brothers can open up, talk. You love, don't judge me.  It is very difficult when you are condemned and you cannot open up.  But it’s easy with you, and most importantly – a spiritual experience.”

Father Nestor thought a lot about the fate of Russia and greatly revered Metropolitan John of St. Petersburg and Ladoga. He talked a lot about Russia, but spiritually, he was not politicized.  He always talked about everything that happens, everything that he thinks.  We talked about it the last time. We talked about this and that last time in life.


16. “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.”

He was very lonely in that last year of his life.  He was alone, and, apparently, the Lord gave him this loneliness, although there were many people who loved him, but somehow it turned out that he was lonely there. Probably, the Lord gave it so that only he and the Lord, and he poured out all this sorrow in prayer, especially appealed to the Queen of Heaven. He loved akathists, he always read akathists in front of Kazanskaya with great reverence.  The whole temple was always present, everyone was praying... He said: “Often there is no one here, I see someone on obedience, it’s hard, then I’ll go myself, get up, read the akathist in front of Kazanskaya - and it’s easier ...” And then he would come, it used to be, he would say: “Well, brethren, whoever has a desire, let’s go in front of the Kazan icon and read the akathist, with bows.”

He must have had a premonition at the time.

Viktor Saulkin recalls:

“On that day, the last one, we talked about Russia, about the fate of Russia, we were just talking about the fact that it’s not scary, somewhere, a lot.

– Of course, it's scary now, but this is the fate of Russia - a spiritual war, and an open war is already going on, in fact, with churches, with the Church, with Russia.  And now everything will depend on the monks. We must rely on the will of God. The Lord, if anything, will bring up children. The Queen of Heaven will not leave. – You have no idea what words you said to me today.  Thank you.  You helped me a lot.

Abbot Zosima recalled:

“Once we spoke with him that there would be an Antichrist, that he would come and torture and kill everyone, and that there would be a “New World Order” and it would be very hard for Christians to live, that it would be better not to live to see such a time, it would be better to die now, because  that a lot of strength is needed, it is better not to see anything. I don't want to see this, for example.  And he says to me: “But I'm ready for anything, I'm not afraid of anything. I will go to the mountains, I will eat grass, but I will never worship this Antichrist.  I am not afraid of anything, I have no fear. Let them torture me, let them cut off my arms and legs, whatever.  I can handle everything.  I'm not afraid of anything".

Nestor had moments of grief in his life, he was upset by the imperfection of his human nature. There were moments that he was very burdened.  He said: “When I read the words of the Apostle Paul “I want to be resolved and live with Christ” and more: “I no longer live, but Christ lives in me,” and: “I want to be with Christ, and death is not terrible for me,” these words are very close to me. And that he is very tired of this life, which is far from ideal and he does not have the strength to change a lot in himself, and that by human nature it happens to him that he stumbles somewhere and then he has a very big conflict inside, and that  it's hard for him to live here, that he would like to die in order to be with Christ, in order to be perfect, because he was very burdened by his own imperfection and he suffered greatly from the fact that he could not be a saint in this life. That is why death was desirable for him.  He repeated this often.

And it happened, when he was talking, he wept, said that, for example, it happened in such and such a way in life, it happened recently, and he spoke frankly about his missteps, wept and asked:

– Pray for me, for me to change, to become a better person.

– But after all, it happens to everyone in life that a person does something wrong, does something.  Don't suffer so much, don't suffer, don't. The Lord sees your burning towards Him.  He sees your love.  There are no such people who would not stumble, would not fall.

– Yes, but it doesn't satisfy me.  I can't, I can't be satisfied with this life.

He was constantly looking for something unearthly in life, the earthly did not satisfy him. Earthly life, it was unnecessary for him, that is, he did not live this life.


17. Prophetic dream.

“It was the end of December, a few days before his death,” says Abbot Zosima. – I was sitting in my diocese office writing a report for His Holiness. And I was in a hurry, I was nervous, that I needed to quickly, quickly.  Suddenly there is a knock on the door, Father Nestor comes in, says:

– Father, can I come in, I want to talk to you.

– Nestor, you know I can't because I don't have much time.

– Yes, I have quite a bit.  Let me massage your leg, it hurts you.

– No, you don’t need to now, then, next week you will come.

He says:

– When will you come to me?  I want to share with you. My heart is heavy, I would like to tell you a story, but you are busy.  Well, listen to me anyway.

– Come on, but faster.

And I write a report at that time, and I myself listen to him, and he tells.

“I have such a dream that His Holiness Patriarch Alexy once again came to us in Ivanovo and wanted to reward me again with some kind of award.” He had already received a golden pectoral cross before from the Patriarch. And then he dreams that the Patriarch comes directly to Zharki for the second time and seems to want to give him some kind of reward, but he went to the stable - and there is so much manure, dirt - and says: “Why haven’t you cleaned up here?  So much dirt."  I, he says, began to clean this manure, I clean it, I clean it, there is no end in sight, and then the Patriarch went somewhere, and I left the stable all dirty.

There is no patriarch, there is no one, I see some men are digging a grave near the temple.  I approached, I said: “What are you doing?” And they: “Father, we dug a grave for you.”  “What are you talking about, I’m alive!  - I touch my body, I grab my hands, - I’m alive, ”I feel myself. “Ah, you don’t like this place?  Well, they say, then we will dig here.  And they start digging a second grave. He says I looked there, into this grave, and it is deep, deep, there is a whole abyss there, in this grave.  And I cried a lot. I say: “Guys, what are you doing?  I’m alive, why are you burying me alive?” And with such a cry, as if with some kind of despair I woke up, I sit on the bed, sitting woke up, and crying right in my sleep. And I was so scared, I jumped up, put on a cassock and ran to the grandmothers who live nearby.  But this is at night.  I ran to them and said: “Oh, grandmothers, I dreamed that they buried me alive, but I’m alive, and such a dream was, as if all this was waking up.  I can't come to my senses." And so he stayed overnight with this grandmother, and in the morning he took her to that place. “Here, they dug one grave, and then they changed it and began to dig in another place.  This is where you will put me when I die,” he says to this grandmother. And she says: “Father, you will live a long time.”

And now I have such a thought that I will probably die soon, since I had such a dream.  I have a feeling that something terrible is going to happen to me. He says: pray for me, please, Zosima, what do you think about this?

And I tell him:
 “You know how tired I am of you,” I say, “you with your stories will still live for a hundred years, you will outlive me, and you are telling such things. And you don't have to believe any dreams, and get out of here.  Stop, then we will meet in the new year, we'll talk.

And I took him right by the hands and led him out of the office. True, we said goodbye in a good way, but I did all this so quickly, I think: go with God, do not interfere.


18. The last days.

After parting with Abbot Zosima in the diocese, Father Nestor went to the Ivanovo Convent of the Presentation of the Most Holy Theotokos, where he said that he was going to Moscow to sell books there and look for some donations to build a house for the disabled at the church in the village of Zharki. He wanted to take young guys who have no arms and legs there, so that people would take care of them and feed them, and that they would live at the church, the disabled people of Afghanistan, various people who need help, so that they could find their place in life. And so he went there, to Moscow, and warned the nuns of the monastery:

– I feel like my last days have come.  I don't know why, but I feel like I'm living in the last days.  I feel something is coming at me, and I myself can not understand what it is.

Those say:

– So, is someone following you?

– I can't explain it, but I feel like something is going to happen to me.  You will pray for me,” he said to the nuns.  And he left for Moscow.

On the day when he arrived from Moscow, December 30, he was very joyful and excited, he carried a diplomat in his hands. And this diplomat was very hard, and what was in it - no one knows. And they assume that there was a lot of money there, bundles of money, probably, were lying there, because he came to Zharki and said: “Now we are very rich, we can now build the house we wanted.”

He had a chauffeur who drove him, but he was not his personal chauffeur, they just seemed to be friends. And this driver was like a beast, such a wild man, and drank a lot. At one time, he helped Father Nestor catch criminals who stole icons in the church. And many had a suspicion that he was connected with these criminals, that he just pretended to help Nestor in this regard. In fact, he himself, perhaps, was an accomplice with them and shared the money from the sale of icons with them, with these criminals.

The next version is the driver himself, the alleged killer.

The driver drove Father Nestor to the village of Elnat, not far from Zharki. In this Yelnat there is a village council, and there are women who helped Father Nestor paint, whitewash, wash it, and although they were representatives of the secular authorities, they were believers and treated Father Nestor very well.

Since it was New Year's Eve, Father Nestor says:

– Women, dear, I congratulate you on the new year.

They persuaded him to take only one symbolic sip.  He took a sip and put it down, he was completely sober but hadn't eaten anything all day.  And then he went from Yelnat to Zharki on the Buran.

The driver, who later confessed to the murder, said that while Father Nestor, while he was driving him, remembered that he had forgotten some of his things in Yelnat and forced him to return back to pick them up. When they arrived in Zharki again, he again remembered that he had forgotten some other things, he went back and forth three times, and when he later arrived at his house at 10 o'clock in the evening with this driver and they went into the house together , then suddenly Nestor remembered:

– I have to go to Elnat for the fourth time, I again forgot something there.

And then this driver was indignant and said: - How long will you drive me, I'm tired of driving.

And then Nestor allegedly said to him:
 - If you do not want to take me, then I myself will leave on your Buran.

He took the keys and went to the Buran, and since the driver objected, he locked it in his cell with a key. And the driver says that he was very indignant, began to knock on the door.  Nestor didn't open it, he went to Buran. Then the driver broke the glass and wanted to get out of the window and beat Father Nestor, because such a state of irritation attacked him that he wanted to beat him for mocking that he had to go back and forth all the time. And when Father Nestor heard the sound of breaking glass, he ran from the Buran to the door, opened the door and hit the driver on the head, and he lost consciousness. “And when he came to his senses, then,” the driver said, “I grabbed Father Nestor by the hair, began to beat him on the floor until he calmed down. And there was broken glass on the floor from the broken window, and his neck was cut, and blood flowed.  And I thought I killed him."

And he got on the "Buran" and came to the police.  Since this is a small village of Yelnat, he knew where the policeman lived, and he came to his house, all spattered with blood, at night.  And he said to the policeman: “I think I killed him, Father Nestor.  Let's go and see."  He himself confessed to the police, and the policeman sat down with him, drove off, and they found the corpse already.  Nestor bled to death.

“I immediately,” Father Zosima said, “when I found out about this, wished to meet with this policeman, who actually participated in this.  And the policeman told me a very interesting thing.

Indeed, he was at home.  He knew Father Nestor very well, they were friends.  But he was a friend and a driver at the same time, they were all friends together.  And he says, when this man, the driver, arrived, he said to him such cryptic words:

– Listen, get ready, I think I killed Father Nestor.  Let's go see if I killed him.  And if I didn't kill him, let me finish him off.

And the policeman says:

– Are you out of your mind?

I’m telling the police, doesn’t it seem strange to you that if there was a domestic quarrel and, let’s say, he injured Father Nestor, then he came to you to declare himself, that is, he, as an honest man, wanted to confess to a crime. Why did he say these words: “If I didn’t kill him, then I should go and finish him off?”  Don't you think this is strange? He says that I myself was amazed and surprised by this, because he was calm, and they were friends, and even if there was some kind of quarrel and something so irreparable happened, then why did he want to kill him to the end? That is, he already knew that he would be punished for the crime, he knew that he would be tried for it. On the contrary, he should have said: “Lord, save this man, maybe, after all, then I won’t be in prison either.”  And he wanted to kill him.  Why? And he asked him: "Why do you want to kill him?"  And the driver says: “I don’t know, just like that.”

And then they went.  The policeman called the authorized policeman, who was sitting in the police station itself, and told him that a murder had been committed. The car arrived immediately, everything was photographed, but they did not take fingerprints, although this murder was a criminal offense, and according to the law they had to take fingerprints of everyone who was here, everything had to be done.  Nothing has been done. They took the word of the one who called himself a murderer.  This is not supposed to be done.  What if he's telling a lie?  Suddenly someone else? Maybe there were some accomplices with him?  No investigative steps were taken.

The corpse of Father Nestor is taken away and for some reason they take it not to Yuryevets, but to Puchezh, a completely different place, which is far from Zharki. And why is the examination done by a young, untrained doctor who does the first examinations?  He simply cannot be an expert on such a complex matter, he is a young boy who has just graduated from the institute. And this boy signs unimaginable documents stating that there are no signs of mutilation, nothing, although, for example, we ourselves saw when we got there that all the walls were spattered with blood, that there was a whole slaughterhouse.  It was terrible!

And nothing is shown anywhere.  And it is simply written that he died from loss of blood, and that it was not murder, that it was he who died from loss of blood, because he prayed and fasted a lot, so his blood flowed easily, so he died from a small cut, and if any other person were in his place, then he would not die, that is, it turns out that this is not a murder, but just some kind of accident.

And this crime was not registered anywhere, not submitted to the report, not published anywhere, and then only, when we insisted, it was published that he was allegedly drunk and died as a result of a drunken fight. We demanded an examination of the blood, and when they did the examination, they found that he was moderately intoxicated, but there was no food in his stomach. But we knew Father Nestor very well, he had never been an alcoholic and, moreover, he never drank on an empty stomach.  How is it to drink a bottle of vodka on an empty stomach?  It's impossible. They just poured it into his mouth!  He was killed and then poured into his mouth.  And, of course, if the stomach is empty, while the person is warm, alcohol is absorbed into the blood, and, naturally, it showed that he was intoxicated. Of course, this was done on purpose.  It is impossible to imagine that he was drunk, and he has never been drunk. Moreover, he was seen literally two hours before: he was in the village council, where he treated the people to this vodka and did not drink it himself, and said: “I can’t drink and don’t want to, I have different things to do today.”

There were a lot of different people around that night: the local authorities gathered for hunting, a blizzard, it was snowing, the traces were covered ...

Then the police discovered that the diplomat was empty, that there was nothing in it.  And next to the corpse lay a large bill covered in blood. The criminals, when they took this money, apparently dropped this piece of paper, it was lying near the corpse.  And the police didn't even add it to the case. And when people began to insist that they investigate where the money went from the diplomat, they said: “Can you prove that he had money?” We say: “So it's up to you to prove whether the money was there or not.  You must take action."

But they did not do anything of this, and instead they opened a criminal case against the head of the railway station, who helped Father Nestor sell books, and then tried to find out if the diocesan administration had anything to do with this trade - so that later, if we will strongly insist on investigative actions, so that later we can start a case against the diocese, that we are somehow managing our finances incorrectly, that is, there is, as it seemed to us, blackmail so as not to complete the investigation.

And our archbishop then said that the devil reigns in this world, therefore it is impossible to establish the truth in this world, we must leave everything to the will of God, since we cannot prove anything here. It will be a useless struggle with those forces that are interested in hiding the whole truth. But Nestor himself died like a real monk-priest, like a martyr, and he does not need to be rehabilitated somewhere and prove whether he was drunk or not drunk. This is not our business, as the authorities want, but the Lord knows that he is a man of holy life.

The perpetrator was later arrested a second time.  He was released, then re-arrested.  At the trial, he behaved very cheekily, freely, and received only two years in prison. He was later sent to prison, but they created a preferential regime for his stay there, he could go out, he was released, he walked everywhere and came to his house to his family.

So who killed Father Nestor?  Rough driver?  Revenge of the mafia?  Or maybe it was a ritual murder?  We do not know. Metropolitan Vladimir was also killed by drunken sailors, and it was clear who was behind this.  Legalized atheism! From the outside, we who live far from Soviet reality, this is clear! There is an extermination of the best representatives of Christianity with a satanic purpose - to destroy the memory of God, all-good, beautiful, pure, inspiring human souls with spiritual cheerfulness. In this sense, the murder of Father Nestor, and every atheist mystically took part in this bloodshed of the righteous. Cursed days are still going on in Rus'.  The Russian people have not shaken Satan off their shoulders yet.


19. Traces of ritual murder.

Father Nestor suffered from evil people to death.  There were traces of a ritual, satanic murder on his body.  It happened on December 17 (30 - according to the civil calendar) in 1993.

The Lord vouchsafed him martyrdom.  How it all happened is not known for certain.  According to the police version, Father Nestor died in a drunken brawl.  But is it possible?

It is clear that the murderers were prompted by the eternal murderer - the devil.  Apparently, the suspect in the murder is not the killer. He could not later tell how it all happened.  Why he, the father of two children, took upon himself the murder, we do not know, we can only guess. But we see that it was not a simple, not an accidental murder.  The wounds on the body of the holy martyr testify to the ritual murder. He died not from a blow, but from loss of blood.  And the "murderer" played the role of a ritual traitor.

It seems that there, when he brought Father Nestor, there were already people in Father Nestor's house who had committed a ritual murder, and the driver was simply their accomplice. He simply took the blame for this money, for these symbolic thirty pieces of silver, which were paid from that diplomat, guess. Therefore, he behaved later so confidently that the authorities had some kind of participation in this in advance, and they guaranteed him that nothing would happen to him, that he would not receive much persecution.

And it is interesting that the policeman who testified in the presence of the people that the so-called criminal wanted to finish off Nestor, if he found him alive, retracted his words at the trial. Father Zosima wanted to meet him and ask him why he did it, but Vladyka did not bless him, he said: “There is no need to do this, we will not establish anything anyway and there is no need to search for such a thing.  It is not the nature of the Church to do such things.”

The version that Father Nestor allegedly began to fight with the driver and that this Alexei began to beat his head on the floor in a fight – broken glass, a broken window – and killed him, raises many objections. He was a monk and, according to the canons, he could not fight.  In addition, Father Nestor was spiritually a very sensitive person, he could not bring a person to a fit of anger. He saw what happened to people.  We began to carefully restore the picture: multiple cuts on the face and a cut on the throat, the cause of death was blood loss, very large. It turns out that there were also cuts on the body.  This is clearly not an accidental murder.  The examination showed that Father Nestor did not inflict a single blow. And he was physically very strong and very dexterous person, perfectly trained in hand-to-hand combat, that is, he would not have been able to cope with him alone. Only one thing is obvious, that this man simply betrayed him to others for murder.

Abbot Zosima testified: “When we arrived there, we saw that all the walls were splattered with blood, that there was a whole slaughterhouse, all the walls, tablecloths were splattered with blood, the entire cassock was saturated with blood, the cross was splattered with blood, a large worship cross, a crucifix, Golgotha -  everything is in the blood. There was something terrible going on.  And his hair was all torn out, it lay in bunches.  It was terrible!"

… The persecution ended with a crown of martyrdom. It is interesting to note that Father Nestor was 33 years old on earth and that at his last meal there were twelve people in his parish. It is also symbolic that among these twelve was the culprit of his death, who played the role of a traitor.


20. Farewell.

Father Zosima came to his village of Tolpygino, and on December 31, on the eve of the civil new year, the phone rang in the evening, Vladyka called and said: We have a great misfortune here.

And when he heard this, he somehow felt heavy in his soul, he felt that something terrible had happened.  Then the Vladyka says:

– Nestor died, he was killed.  Go there and pray for the repose of his soul. And we can bury his body in Tolpygino, where you live, make a grave, and pray for the repose of his soul, come on in the cathedral, that is, bring his body on a sleigh, in a car to the cathedral, there I will pray for the repose of his soul, and  then we will bury him in Tolpygino with you.

– Vladyka, what if they don't give up his body?

– Who won't give up?  There will be no one there.  You will probably be alone.  In the same place, no one will pass to Zharki.

Zosima went there, he arrived, there the tractors were already clearing the road, with difficulty, but they cleared it.  And when he arrived, the temple was full of people. There were a lot of people.  Maybe two hundred people, the temple was full of people.

The body of the murdered father Nestor stood in the temple, they buried him on the fifth day, with the blessing of Vladyka. There was a doctor there, he was surprised that there was not the slightest smell.  Not the slightest smell of smoldering!  And his hand was like a living one ...

The unmercenary father Nestor, after his death, left almost no personal belongings.  Prayer rope, mantle, cassocks, icons, crosses, books.  He even had to be buried in someone else's shoes (his own were too old, trampled).

In those cloudy winter days, people went to one of the remote villages of the Ivanovo region, to the Church of the Nativity of the Virgin, from everywhere, they walked, rode in sledges, on Burans, whatever. They got from the surrounding villages, from Moscow, someone from Ukraine, someone from the distant border of the Caucasus ... It was just before the new year. And the occasion on which they gathered was sad, it was terrible and at first glance absurd: here, very close to the temple, right in the house, on the night of December 30 to 31, a hieromonk, the rector of this temple, was brutally murdered, father Nestor, a very young man, a monk of 33 years of age. The murderer was from the locals, well known to the parishioners, and as they said, shortly before the fateful Friday, acquaintances and friends gathered at Father Nestor's, there were many guests, 12 people.  The killer was among them.

Many people came to say goodbye to Father Nestor. It is amazing how many he managed to spiritually feed! Such a confluence of pilgrims that even crowded in the porch, the temple did not remember from the time of Tsarist Russia. Abbot Zosima later recalled that he had to confess on the eve of the funeral service for a long time, almost until morning. Then the forces of demons became embittered: the authorities, defiantly unwilling to conduct an investigation, mocking the faithful Orthodox, showed their atheistic face - the whole temple shuddered when, during the evening service, a man arrested for murder suddenly appeared and ominously stood behind. But the tension then dissolved little by little in the heavenly joy of the bright face of the deceased.

The parishioners, having learned that their father might be buried elsewhere, said that he repeatedly asked to be buried exactly here, where he served, next to the church. Fortunately, the diocese treated this with understanding.  They buried the Monk Martyr not far from the church altar on the fifth day.

The house where the crime was committed, where Father Nestor lived, was re-consecrated, a prayer service was served, as they say here, from the beast. It was in this room that the beast, which from time to time inhabits a person, broke free. The whole room was spattered with blood, even the calendar with the image of the Savior, which hung on the wall.

The ninth day of the posthumous life of the new Saint fell on the Cathedral of the Most Holy Theotokos: the Mother of God Herself received him, he begged for the crown of martyrdom from Her. Heaven found a new inhabitant for itself, and we - a new one praying for us, for our Rus', for Father Nestor loved Russia very much, rooted for her. He revered Metropolitan John of St. Petersburg for his confession. And when people told him that, they say, it’s scary to live in the world of victorious Freemasonry, when there is a constantly hidden and open struggle against Holy Orthodoxy, and personally to him - also under open threats from gangsters, he answered: “Well, why should we be afraid?  To suffer to death for the Lord is such a joy!”


21. Mysterious sign.

In the days of parting with Father Nestor, this is what happened.

The service in the church ended, Father Zosima confessed all the people who had come to the funeral, a prayer service was served in the house of Father Nestor. Two more priests and a novice arrived, one representative from the regional administration for relations with religious organizations, who knew Father Nestor very well.  And all five of them settled down in the house where Father Nestor lived.  There were two rooms. Three of them settled down in one room, and Abbot Zosima with an official from the administration settled down in the very room where he was killed, in fact, where Nestor's cell is, and went to bed. Father Zosima said:
 “I remember locking the door and going to bed.  Then I could not sleep, my thoughts were confused and I prayed: “Lord, show me where Nestor is, where he is, where his soul is, how it may be suffering right now.  Maybe she is feeling bad now, maybe she will go through some kind of ordeal? How, what's next for him?  Maybe he is wandering around here, give me, Lord, some sign about him. And my soul was very sad, and because I loved Nestor very much, I could not calm down for a long time and then again, because I had such a feeling that I should then grab his hand and say: "Let's go to me!"  or go to him, then nothing would happen - so I thought.

When I began to fall asleep already, but still did not fall asleep, I heard steps, someone walked across the room, opened the door with a key and went out into a cold room. And then I waited and waited for him to come in, I thought about asking who it was that came out.  But the man did not return. And then I thought that maybe he was also killed when he went out there. And I think I should go look or close the door, but I could not get up, because my strength just left me completely.  And I think, come what may, and fell asleep.

And in the morning, when I woke up, I found out that this official from the administration woke up first and found the door open.  And it was cold in the house. I interviewed everyone who slept in the house, and it turned out that no one went out at night, and thus I was convinced that the door was opened by the spirit of Father Nestor, who simply went out. This was a sign from God that his soul is here with us.  Because to explain how the door could be open when no one came out and it was locked, I personally locked it. And moreover, this authorized representative from the regional administration heard how I locked it with a key, and fell asleep with satisfaction that the door was closed, it’s not scary to sleep. Although, of course, they said that maybe the criminal was hiding there, was in the house and went out, but there was nowhere to hide, the whole room was open.  So it is only a spiritual phenomenon, obviously.


22. Fulfillment of a waking dream.

Here is another recollection of Father Zosima about the days of parting with Father Nestor.

I got up in the morning and went to the temple.  And they asked me: “Where is the place, father, will you bless, where to put he?” I wanted to take Father Nestor's body to the cathedral, but the people did not give he to me, they said: "We will not give him up, let him be here near the altar, we will go to his grave to pray." And I thought that there was no need to insist, because the people want it, and the voice of the people is the voice of God. I showed them where to dig the grave, and I thought that it would be good to bury him not far from the side altar, because the revered Kazan icon of the Mother of God stands there, and I think that just at this Kazan icon he will be buried, which he loved very much all his life.

And when the grave had already been dug up, then that grandmother suddenly runs up and says:

 – You're digging his grave in the wrong place.

And I say:

 – Where is it?

– And here, she says, here, because he showed where to bury him.

And they had to dig a grave in another place, and when it was dug out, I asked this grandmother:

 - Do you know, he told you his dream, which he told me?  I then remembered this dream.

– Yes, he told me right away at night, and in the morning he showed me, - and she says, - the grave, which was first dug for him in a dream, was just at the place where you showed.

And so I saw that this, of course, was God's predestination, that this was bound to happen, and nothing could be changed here.  The Lord determined to be a martyr for him, according to his prayers.


23. Heavenly protector.

The 9th day of the posthumous life of Father Nestor falls on the Cathedral of the Most Holy Theotokos, which means that the Mother of God accepted him to Herself.

Humanly, the grief was very heavy.  The locals were simply shocked. But spiritual experiences were extraordinary, because some kind of prayer was felt, his prayer, his presence.

Vladyka blessed Father Nestor's cassock, soaked in blood, to keep under the altar of the temple.  And Father Zosima told the parishioners that they now had their own martyr, the Heavenly patron. So the wish of Father Nestor came true, nevertheless he was honored, he begged for a martyr's crown from the Queen of Heaven.

Bishop Arseniy knew Father Nestor, because Patriarch Alexy awarded him a golden cross when he came to the Ivanovo diocese. Then he was called from a distant parish, and he rushed.  Vladyka Arseniy also knew him from missionary work, as letters went through him. And Bishop Arseny blessed: “Yes, it was, of course, an ascetic.  It was visible.  This is the ascetic of our time, write his life story.

Now, after his death, some, those who during his lifetime very strongly condemned him, tried to create a false picture. Here, they say, Father Nestor, he fussed a lot, did not pray, although he seemed to be a good and pious person.  But the Lord took him away at the right moment, otherwise he fussed, prayed little. Why all these deeds, why all these books, why open temples?  Our job is to pray. And they create, as it were, a different image of Father Nestor, because if he is a martyr, then their relationship with him during his lifetime clearly looks unsightly. His spiritual children have completely different memories...

After his death, this is what happened.  One woman, who knew him during his lifetime and already revered him as a martyr, was digging a garden.  Tired, she prayed: “Father Nestor, help!” And suddenly he hears the voice of Father Nestor behind him: “Can I help you to earn me at least some money?” She turned around: a stranger approached the garden. He did not know Father Nestor, but addressed her with his words, just as Batiushka often addressed during his lifetime in such cases: “Can I help you?”

In Optina Hermitage, Father Nestor began to be commemorated as follows: "The murdered hieromonk Vasily, the monks Ferapont, Trofim, and the murdered hieromonk Nestor."  They asked to bring his photograph, the Optina residents accepted him immediately. For some reason, many felt, began to pray for him in many monasteries, in many churches. And now in St. Petersburg, where, it would seem, they do not know him, but they commemorate the murdered Hieromonk Nestor. And in America he is already revered as the heavenly patron of young missionaries of true Orthodoxy, they painted his icon.


24. Good memory on earth.

Father Boris, a priest from the Ivanovo diocese, the village of Bugreeva-Nikolsky, Yuryevets district, told the following:

“Fate brought me together with the already, unfortunately, deceased father Nestor. For the first time I heard about his death at our Vladyka's, and then several times I visited Moscow, St. Petersburg and somehow I came across traces of Father Nestor's activities all the time. And she was, indeed, very patriotic, pious, and at the same time, apparently, he spent so much energy, brought so many people closer to the Church, that everyone remembers him with extraordinary warmth and joy. He apparently infected everyone with his energy, his ideas about the revival of the Church, about the revival of Russia. When you visit churches, they ask you from which diocese.  “Did you know Father Nestor?”  “The first question they immediately ask is whether he knew Father Nestor.

“In my monastic community,” says Father Zosima, “I notice something that we didn’t have before, we somehow lived one way, but now we live differently. And although we don’t have too much abundance in anything, it always happens that at the last moment some help comes, and I feel that Father Nestor has some part in this, since he himself gave a lot of time to  to build the temple materially, that is, somehow restore it, build something, do something. And when we have to do all this, that is, build at home, then I feel that there is some kind of his help, that there he does not forget us, because supernaturally it turns out that when, it would seem, there is no hope, suddenly this help comes unexpectedly, there are some benefactors, donors, some helpers and what we want, everything is always done.  It wasn't like that before.

I remember how Father Nestor baptized.  The temple stands on the bank of the river, such a slope is very beautiful.  There are extraordinary places... And he always baptized in the river, in Pazhek, and in winter they even made an ice-hole for adults, babies were still in the font, and he took adults, and everyone, without a doubt, dived into the water, even teenagers, everyone dived, and in summer  Moreover, he dipped everyone into the water right from the boat.

The shops he opened continue to operate, no matter how hard the authorities try to close them. And at the station, some other premises were equipped, and they also want to organize a store in Kineshma. Thank God that the activity that he awakened to life does not stop.

He spoke at a meeting of all the directors of the stations of the Northern Railway, and apparently had such an effect on them that they all undertook to open shops of Orthodox books at all stations, along the entire Northern Russian Railway. I met with the director of one station.  Apparently, he was never such a spiritual person. But now, remembering Father Nestor, it was clear how his whole heart lit up in him.

Colonel of the press service of the Ministry of Defense Soldatenko, who knew Father Nestor very well, in Georgia, in Abkhazia were under bullets together, he spoke very warmly about him, father Nestor baptized his wife and daughter, he, an experienced man, said one thing about father Nestor: “Well, a man!.. He was not afraid of anything, even when the fragments flew there ... An amazingly brave father Nestor was a man.” This is evidence of deep faith above all.


25. In Paradise.

Fr. Zosima dried up Father Nestor's cassock, covered in blood, and placed it under the altar of his church, with the blessing of Vladyka. Father Nestor is not yet a glorified martyr and, of course, the relics of the saints are kept in this way, under the throne, but since it is obvious that his death is so special and he died as an Orthodox Christian and died for Christ, this cassock laid with blood attracts the prayers of the father himself  Nestor from the spiritual world to the temple, and people feel help. They feel that he is here, near.  This cannot be explained, but there is a feeling that Father Nestor is present there with his spirit.

Various people later testified that they saw Father Nestor in their dreams joyful, walking without touching the ground, in Paradise;  many flowers, trees bloom;  he walks, smiles, blesses. It is amazing that different people saw the same thing in their dreams.

In Zharki, one woman, blind from birth, or she was blind in childhood, that is, she does not remember what flowers look like, does not remember light, the sun, was amazed that Father Nestor, whom she had never seen, appeared to her, she only heard him talking. She saw him in a dream, says: "I can describe what he looks like." She accurately and accurately described his appearance. Previously, he confessed her, communed her, and then she fully saw him for what he is. She says it wasn't even a dream. She slept during the day, it was like a vision that she saw Paradise and flowers bloom there, trees, birds there, a garden such that Father Nestor walks without touching the ground, in white robes, all shining. His face radiates light.  He smiled, said something to her and blessed her. And she was filled with such happiness and, waking up, said: “That's it, I now believe that Paradise exists and that Father Nestor is there, he is waiting for us there.”


26. The story of Father Nestor is not over.

There are other cases of the mysterious participation of Father Nestor, who has now become the patron of youth in different countries.

Our American brother, the representative of the American Valaam Society in Russia, visited Zharki to photograph places connected with the life and death of Father Nestor. Prayerfully bowing before the ascetic, dear Father Nestor, brother Thaddeus made a pilgrimage there and prayed over the grave of the New Martyr Nestor for the youth of today, who are in a very low moral state. Considering Father Nestor the patron of a chaotic generation and wishing to have some answer to his prayer, whether Nestor hears about him, he told us how Father Nestor hears.

He was put to spend the night in Father Nestor's cell, where, by the way, on the wall is a portrait of Father Seraphim (Rose), hung by Father Nestor himself. Fear gripped his soul when he was left alone and lay down on the bed of a new righteous man, who suffered just from the modern unbelted nihilism. A lamp was flickering, and a huge cross hung on the wall, in front of which Father Nestor prayed and was killed, spattering it with his blood.

The next morning, when Thaddeus was getting out of bed, he stumbled and fell right on the spot where the body of Father Nestor was found. He did not receive any injuries, but a sensitive reminder of the difficult ascetic life that Father Nestor led remained in his memory. And he was thankful to God that he felt it.  This brought him even closer to Father Nestor.

The story of Father Nestor is not over.  Father Nestor is now becoming the protector and patron of young people who have converted to Orthodoxy. The handsome, affable, bewitching image of the New Martyr can touch any soul and incline to a prayerful mood. For a joyful appearance, combined with stern Orthodoxy, is a living attraction and disposes the soul to prayer. The younger generation, constantly attacked by the horrors of modern life, is tired of the industrialized godless civilization. The rural church, the huts, the boundless horizon, the monk on horseback, and the joyful passion for Goodness and compassion evoke hope, faith, and love for everything that is good, natural, and truthful. And then the sacrifice of one's own life completes the image of the spiritual leader leading to the Kingdom of Heaven.

There are already quite a few believers who venerate him as a saint out of their love, without waiting for canonization. And one brotherhood of young Orthodox Americans honors Father Nestor as their special heavenly patron, setting up a portrait of the New Martyr in the chapel among the icons. The young brotherhood of Orthodox of different nationalities cannot but thank God for such a helper from Heaven, like the holy Great Martyr George the Victorious or the holy passion-bearing brothers Boris and Gleb, galloping on a symbolic horse into the next age, where there is no death, illness and sorrow.

Martyr Nestor, pray to God for us!