Дневник Сумасшедшего 1381

12819

Last night I had another conflict with A. We met around 5pm, went to a store to buy food, got back, ate, watched Petukhoff’s lecture, she went to take a bath, I was writing for an hour, and when she returned, she got upset because I tried to make a joke playing with money. Then I tried to calm her down. It didn’t work well. She started drawing. I went to do my exercises. She got angry because I didn’t try to “communicate” with her. She turned on math lectures. I went to meditate. When I got back, it was around midnight. She was drawing. We tried to talk, but with no success. I began reading my diary. She complained that I didn’t pay attention to her. Then, we played a game for half an hour, imitating certain animals. When she played a zebra, she asked me to watch a short, two-minute video, which I refused to do. She tried to persuade me, but I was firm in my decision and said “no” again. When I said “no” the third time, she got mad and said that she didn’t want to continue playing the game. I said “ok” and got in bed. I thought that the whole situation was absurd. I tried to figure out if she was aware that she was repeating the same pattern which she regularly criticizes me for. I mean, when I try to encourage her to do something after she says “no”, she immediately gets angry and upset. Now, when she tried to encourage me to do something after I said “no”, it was she again who got angry and upset. I didn’t talk to her about it; I was just lying and thinking. She joined me after half an hour. However, she couldn’t have fallen asleep and after another half an hour, she went to a different room. I tried to fall asleep, but it was impossible. I got angry myself and came to her to talk. I couldn’t control my emotions and said a couple of bad words very loudly. Then, I tried to fall asleep leaving her in that room, but after another half an hour, got up, dressed up and was about to go home. She stopped me, and we fought over the next hour, accusing each other of all sorts of things. The morning brought peace.         

Back: http://proza.ru/2023/03/23/1398
Forward: http://proza.ru/2023/03/27/1569