True Friend

 
 
USUAL MORNING
 
Elina's Sunday morning began as usual. After breakfast, she looked with annoyance at the room, where balls of all kinds and sizes were scattered around.   
“Johnny, well, I asked you to clean them up after you finish playing,” Elina muttered hopelessly.   
John is seven years old and has autism. At the very beginning, when the diagnosis had just been made, Elina really did not want to believe that her son would forever remain different. “Not like everyone else”, “special child” - these words caused her real despair. Every year it became more and more obvious that John would have to live with this. Just like her. Elina's life has changed forever. 
John's father, who at first tried to support her, quickly retired. Elina did not blame him; she simply allowed him to leave and was left alone with her child. She was grateful to him for financial support, but could not understand how her husband could leave a child who needed much support of loved ones. She firmly decided that she would give John a worthy future and would do everything that was required for this, no matter what it cost her. 
She spent hours talking with her son, although at the age of seven he could only say one word - "mom." It hurt Elina to tears: just one word. But the way the child said it revealed a whole range of his emotions.   
John was a charming child. However, sometimes his desire to get attention from his mother at any cost created problems. Sometimes John was just unbearable, trying to get Elina's attention. For some reason, this was especially evident in those cases when someone came to their house, when they were at home together and the child could easily find something to do. 
The older he got, the more often he exhibited typical autistic behavior. He could sit for hours in an empty box until Elina got him out of there. Perhaps the small enclosed space gave the child a sense of security. Another of his passions were balls, he could twirl and twist them indefinitely.   
Elina did not think this hobby of his was dangerous, but one of the doctors recommended that all John's balls be removed from the house, and not be played with. Elina, on the other hand, had big doubts about such a recommendation, because the balls were one of those few things that soothed and captivated her child. Instead of depriving him of this little joy, she went to the store and bought him a lot of balls, in different colors, sizes and textures. The son looked truly happy when she poured out this treasure in front of him.   
“Mom…” John whispered, looking fascinated at his new toys.   
During that period, many acquaintances dropped out and stopped visiting after they learned about the problem Elina faced. However, this did not bother her much, she only began to appreciate those who remained nearby, no matter what. For example, her best friend Irene, with whom they have been friends since childhood.   
In each of her visits, she flew into Elina's house like a spring wind: exited and cheerful.  She immediately brought down a mountain of various news on her: about mutual acquaintances, about her family, about her beloved dog, about her acting courses. Irene was engaged in the manufacture of jewelry from beads and stones and often brought her creations as a gift to her friend. She brought John his favorite balls, never repeating herself and trying to buy exactly what would please him. When she came, Elina woke up her usual lust for life and her inherent enthusiasm.   
The only problem was that as soon as Irene appeared on the threshold, John immediately began to persistently seek Elina's attention. He took her by the hand, dragged her into his room, showed her his balls for the hundredth time, and did his best to distract her from Iren. Women proceeded from the fact that these are just manifestations of childish jealousy, they say that the son loved his mother very much. They treated him with understanding, trying to switch his attention to his favorite balls, but John was persistent. Therefore, on such days, the whole trinity slowly followed John through the rooms, until Irene ran out of news. Then she listened attentively to her friend, if Elina had something to share. Of course, almost all of her news concerned her son. Therefore, Iren knew all the details of John's treatment and development and was very empathetic to her friend. In her support, she drew strength and often called Irene "my true friend."   
And yet, John's perseverance did its job - young women had enough for forty minutes, to a maximum of an hour, and then they were forced to say goodbye. Of course, they parted with the hope of meeting soon - in about a week, if possible.   
Elina dreamed of somehow explaining to her beloved seven-year-old boy that his mother would like to spend this time differently. Let him understand how important her friend's visits are to her and how she would like to completely immerse herself in communication with her, even for their usual half hour. 
Irene had about the same thoughts, but not clearly formed. About once a month, she would make timid attempts to drag her childhood friend out of the house in order to stir her up. Already knowing that Elina would not dare to do this during a personal meeting, Iren once tried to precede her proposal with a call.
   
FAILED PLAN
 
- Elina, what do you say if we go out for a walk on Saturday? Let's go to the movies, gorge ourselves on popcorn and watch some sweet female melodrama, huh? Or vice versa, a raunchy comedy? And then we'll go to a restaurant and try different goodies until we get bored. I understand that you have John, but you can ask your babysitter to sit with him.   
Elina thought. Few people could understand how much she wanted to accept Iren's invitation. Put on a beautiful dress, high heel shoes defile in a restaurant or even just in the lobby of a cinema, attracting the eyes of others. After all, she devoted most of the time to her son, completely forgetting about herself. And she had a nanny in mind: she used her services when she urgently needed to leave for work or other matters.   
– You know, Iren… I agree! Let’s go! I've wanted this for so long. Tomorrow I will call Mrs Jones and ask her to look after John.   
- Elina! You have no idea how happy I am to hear that! To be honest, I didn't have much hope. I'll pick you up at eight tomorrow, okay?   
The next day passed for Elina in pleasant anticipation. She seemed to fly, preparing a dress, picking up shoes and doing her hair. She imagined how she and Iren would walk together, laugh at some funny stories, remember the times of their fun students or school years...   
But at five o'clock in the evening the phone rang:   
- Elina, darling, I know, I promised to come, but it just so happened that my grandson fell ill. Sorry, there's no way I can look after John today. – Mrs Jones obviously was upset.   
- Yes of course. It’s okay, - Elina answered in a fallen voice.   
As she hung up the phone, she nearly burst into tears. Well, why is that?! Why on that one day, when she decided to arrange a little holiday for herself, everything turned out this way? Holding back tears rising to her throat, she began to dial Iren's phone number.   
- Elin ... Nothing, just don't get upset. Well, not the last day we live, well, what are you ... You know, I have a great idea. What if I come to you? I'll go to the store for a cake, and we'll sit with you. And John will play in his room. What do you think? 
Elina agreed reluctantly. Knowing her child, she knew perfectly well that just sitting and chatting would not work for them.   
Of course, the evening did not go at all as her friend had hoped and Irene imagined it. As soon as John saw her in the hallway, he began to pull Elina by the hand, trying to take her to his room. When this did not work out, he came to the kitchen, brought his balls, and began to show them to Irene. She looked thoughtfully at the boy. 

IRENE'S IDEA
   
“Listen, Elina, have you thought about the fact that he needs some kind of constructive purposeful activity to be involved in ? It seems to me that this would do him good, and it would give you a little bit of freedom - you need it so much. I recently read how parents develop the abilities of their children with autism through photography. I will send you a link. In my opinion, you and John could make an excellent photobook on the subject of his balls. After all, it is obvious that they are his greatest passion. - Iren had listened with interest to her stories about John before and offered her friend various ways to diversify his life with benefits.   
Irene's words did not leave Elina's head for several days. The idea seemed very interesting to her. She thought about how nice it would be if John had some kind of productive activity, if his blind passion for balls grew into something more, something creative and interesting. In the end, she took out an old camera, which she rarely used.   

ELINA GETS DOWN to BUSINESS
 
First, she took a couple of pictures of her son playing with balls in his room, office, and kitchen. Later, she looked at these photos, and some vague thought was spinning in her head. It seemed to her that John in the photographs looked somehow different.   
Suddenly, Elina realized what it was. Her son's expression was unusually calm. Normally agitated, here he looked surprisingly peaceful. In the bustle of weekdays, it is sometimes difficult to notice changes in facial expressions and behavior. Photography has become an excellent indicator of the real situation.
The idea of studying his son unnoticed, with the help of a photo, was inspiring. Elina began to take photos of her son and his balls more and more often and more and more inspiringly. The son noticed her actions, but was not particularly interested in them. When she had a small collection of such photos, she printed them out, bought a binder, sheets of multi-colored thick paper and transparent protective files, deciding that they would become materials for creating a photobook.   
- Look, Johnny. I have pictures of you with balls. Let's try to make a real photobook about them. We need to choose best photos, attach them to these multi-colored sheets with tape and arrange them in the right order. Let's try! What photos do you like the most?   
At first, the child only enthusiastically examined the images of himself in the company of his favorite balls. Then he suddenly took a sheet of yellow cardboard and carefully placed on it a photograph of him embracing a yellow ball. He did the same with the others: very thoughtfully John laid out photos of himself and his balls on sheets of paper, according to their colors. Elina was impressed by the enthusiasm and taste, with which her boy coped with the task.   
Their first photobook turned out to be very cute. However more importantly, John liked this activity, and began to devote a lot of time to it. When the book was ready, Elina realized that he was capable of more and it was time to move on.   
– John, do you want to try to take a picture of your balls yourself? What if we make a whole photobook about them?   
Hearing his favorite word "balls", the boy looked up at the camera and began to listen carefully to his mother. Elina diligently explained to him the essence of the camera in the simplest words. It turned out to be easier than expected. On the same day, John took the first beautiful photo: mom surrounded by his favorite balls. 

JOHN got CARRIED AWAY
   
An unprecedented occupation unexpectedly captivated John. He enthusiastically took pictures of his toys. Like a real photographer, he meticulously chose angles. Previously, he always did everything in his own way. Now it was surprising that he listened to the advice of his mother, recognized her experience. And she showed how to make photos more vivid, how to choose the right angle and lighting. Now they worked together. Every day John got more great photos.   
Over time, he liked to photograph the same ball, against a different background. Elina bought him large sheets of multi-colored paper for this. He could spend hours doing this and clearly liked the combination of different colors.   
The days flew by. Elina was incredibly pleased with her son's new occupation. In addition, she felt more freedom than before, as her son began to find his own activities. In addition, this joint work revealed many simple concepts as “closer, far away, in the middle, etc” that John did not know at all, and Elina had a great opportunity to explain them to her son, showing them in practice, as if in passing, and then, on occasion, make sure that he had learned them .   
It is often difficult for autistic children to explain to others what they feel or want, and John was no exception. His speech was limited to the word “mother, that is why it was so important to establish contact with him: in order to better understand him and develop his abilities. 
 
CREATIVE UNION of MOTHER and SON

Elina was able to appreciate that photobooks were a great opportunity to establish better contact with her child. First they made a photobook called "Colors" about the colors of the rainbow, placing there photographs of balls of various shades, of which John had many. After that, the idea of a size book came up: "Large, medium, small." Elina saw an opportunity to teach John new concepts and the words “more”, “less”, “equally”. A book about the positions of objects: "before", "right", "between". And, of course, they made a photobook about numbers: “one ball”, “two balls”.   
Usually John resisted attempts to give him some new knowledge, but now he received them in passing, as if in between times, "for your photobook." For Elina, this in itself became an exciting game - to choose the words, categories and concepts that she wanted to teach John, and then come up with and select stories for them for filming. John flourished from this new, high-quality gaming attention, participated with pleasure in these games with his mother during the filming.   
- Johnny, put the orange ball in the middle. Right here. The middle is between two other balls.   
And later she saw the result:   
“What do you think would be a good ball if you put it in the middle between these huge green ones?” Little red? Great. Put it down soon. I want to photograph them myself.   
Elina had fun, rejoicing to herself that he understood about the "middle”. 
- In order for the balls to be evenly positioned in the photo, you need to move the ball, which we have on the edge, which means at the very end. Yes, everything is fine now. Well done. You can shoot!   
In the future, she already planned to expand the field of their activities and walk around the nearby shops that sell balls, and at the same time introduce her son to the concepts of “address” and “route”.   
Next in line was the idea of a photobook about different shapes: a circle made of balls, a square, a triangle. The idea of sports is tennis ball, soccer ball, basketball. Elina imagined how she would tell her son about different sports and even show short videos about each of them.  Fortunately, the necessary balls and the Internet were at hand. She felt that she herself had already fallen in love with these magic balls.
Elina  got the idea to talk to John’s teacher in special program he attended, so she’d demonstrated photobooks there

ORDER for THE MASTER
   
When Irene came to visit a small family, Elina asked her son to bring his photobooks. Irene was amazed at the quality of his work and openly admired the boy's talent. An expression of pride and satisfaction gradually appeared on the face of John. Then the friends sat together in the kitchen, and John took pictures of the new balls that Iren bought for him, choosing the best angles and background colors.   
- Elina, he is very talented. Just look at the quality pictures he took. These balls seem to have a lifetime. As if they have their own characters and destinies, but only John sees them. And in the photographs, he shows them so clearly, so vividly ... Listen, I have an idea. How about John makes a portfolio of jewelry that I make? It could be the same photobook as with balls, only there would be pictures of my bracelets, pendants and earrings. I could show it to my clients, and we would put John's name on it. It's like he's a real professional photographer. What do you think?   
- In my opinion ... that is a wonderful idea, - Elina struggled to find words that could express her feelings. - I don't know. Let's ask John.   
– John, could you make the same photobook for Irene? Only instead of balls there will be her earrings and bracelets. She loves them as much as you love your balls.   
The child thought for a moment. Then he went up to Iren and took her hand, touched the shiny bracelet. Then he shifted his cautious gaze to her earrings. He nodded to his mother and went to his room for a camera.   
Elina felt involuntary tears rolling down her cheeks. She looked at her friend and whispered:   
- What would I do without you, my true friend!