Farewell to Volunteering Idea

BIG BOSSES

The official bosses of my volunteering –the biggest organization in the country (the way they represented themselves)  which cared for kids with autism, suddenly decided to use my help. They wanted to meet and I came as soon as possible. I hoped that finally I could start real work. They announced that I should make a presentation of my TPB system to parents and professionals at the University for Autism Day. The thing for me was new and unknown. I’m not a public person-especially a public speaker. What to talk about? For me parents and specialists are so different audiences and for them there should be quite different content. But the bosses were not interested in this, speak what you want to speak about. Ok-I'll say something. And what is the purpose of my speech? It also does not matter. Very strange !
My constantly investigating mind naturally got busy with the puzzle. The organization consisted of a family-Mom, Dad and Son. The official head of the organization was Dad, but in reality Mom was the main boss. The Son  turned out to be flexible. Someday by mistake we met with him one to one and had a great mutually understanding conversation. He expressed the desire  to help me in my Project “Road to Independence and Self-Sufficiency”  and as usual “my wings rose”.
Stupid habit-to believe what people say. But I think the place of my current residency will help me to get rid of this habit. The promises of help turned out to be empty words. I think Mom intervened in son's desire to cooperate with me, because the next time we met and the whole family was present the son behaved completely differently-it was a different person. 
The organization was located in a capital city , but  Mom was born in the small city where I lived and knew “every dog” there. She promised to introduce me to the parents of autistic children, but then she  changed her mind. The date of my speech was supposed to happen  on a certain day, but nothing happened  Very strange and incomprehensible behavior

WHAT BOSSES WANTED…

After the voluntary contract was renewed, they called me again and in the presence of the whole family the son pressed with the presentation and again nothing was clear, and Autism Month was already finished.
They wanted a presentation with an unknown purpose for me. This topic they did not want to discuss. I picked up some untruthful information in the son's words as the last time it was one info and this time it was the opposite. My mind always focused on truthful stuff , automatically picking up contradictions . As if a red lamp immediately turns on inside... Attention!!!
Finally Mom decided first to do a presentation for parents in my town and then a presentation in their capital city- for professionals. We even made a date as Mom had a family event that day there. As I was in the process of moving it was not simple for me to arrange everything, so I asked for how many parents I’d have to prepare my place for. The answer was as usual-I will  know that on the day of the presentation…

HOPES and REALITY

. I felt that Mom would cheat me again and On the day of the presentation I got a call that Mom will come with a translator. What about parents? Тhe translator is the parent… I knew that  she would not  introduce me to parents…It came out to be the Truth. Mom brought a businessman from another city-a parent of a child with autism. From another city. A parent, who decided to make a business using autism.
But I really hoped to see my parents and in spite of mess with moving, I prepared the stuff to demonstrate to the parents.
I still tried to put the conversation to my topic, asking him to tell me about his son. The answer was short:,“ The son is tall and makes movement with his hands-” He demonstrated the movement as if he described the item…Father could not  do more. I tried to put the conversation to the topic of my approach working with kids. None of them showed any interest.
Finally they put a conversation to the right direction-a business. They present their ideas. I must go to different places including Father's  city to do presentations and Mom added-voluntarily means for free. Mom sold me out to her “colleague in business'’…not sold out forever…maybe just  for temporary use   in order not to waste me.. until she'd find another use. Or maybe she owed him  money
When I finally got the real Truth and saw what my hope to help autistic kids  by volunteering came to, it was some relief. There is always a desire to make money using autism  and it’s not easy to avoid it. But I am “experienced kolobok”, so they got nothing from me . I habitually listened to their usual complaints about the lack of time to spend with kids and lack of money to pay bills . Also I’ve learned that the official cause for autism adapted here is vaccine and ABA with medication is a solution. And I realized that I'd not have an opportunity to help kids. The lawyer who did my documents warned me that Mom perceived me as a competitor
In the end of the meeting finished with traditional coffee, Mom promised to bring real parents for a presentation next day and also help with my stuff moving…we parted with hugs…She called me in a few days saying that she was in the hospital , but nothing serious and that her son will call me later. Probably she got a new idea to use me, but probably it was not practical either as I never heard from her again.
But…when I went to the mayor of our town with my Project suggestion, he told me “not to worry-everything is under care” and soon they were going to open a new center for autistic kids with 12 specialists...Then the real purpose of Mom coming to the city became clear….Mom opened a huge center. Invested huge amount of money. Expensive equipment from England and other countries. When I've learned it I wrote her with suggestions of my project going along with her Center. But my idea focused on kids' progress and not for profits, so Mom didn't respond.
The thing is that what specialists help kids with should be carried to the child's real life, especially with autistic kids. That part parents should do, but for the most part they don’t do it. My suggestion was about that. I tried to bring up that issue in the USA as well about united actions. In organizations they used to say ‘Just do your best in given circumstances-the rest is not up to us”. Here the situation was similar “we don’t communicate much with parents”, -said the Director of Center for Special children. Mom talked a lot about that issue, but ignored all my suggestions. Her plans and goals were in different directions.
And then I stepped to dangerous path-I wanted to be independent and those desires often end up in Hell where I eventually find myself

MANDATORY VOLUNTEERING

In the survival period of American life the government decided that immigrants' support should be paid off, but for some reason they call it volunteering. I was almost finishing college at that time and only one semester left for graduation for an early childhood education degree. I planned to open a small home daycare named “Seven Clouds” with some specific. I collected famous fairy-tales told by different cultures. It was a very exciting idea and I could not wait to give it a life.
But “mandatory volunteering” intervened. I was put on the streets dressed in a bright orange vest with a broom in hands among other immigrants, who also could not finish their computer or accounting courses and instead of government support get a real job and start earning money.We were supposed to sweep the streets of NYC. American citizens were satisfied to see that their money,which supports the immigrants, makes the city cleaner. I did ask the volunteering office to put me in day care, considering my soon to be educational degree, thinking that I could bring more benefits to the city there, but they said I was needed more on the street. That is a separate story I’d describe someday, but as a result of that volunteering I hurt my back and Project “ Seven Clouds” died together with a spinal disc condition and my life took a different turn.
When I got my degree in the Soviet Union we were sent to pick up cotton or sorting vegetables. It was mandatory, but nobody called it “volunteering” as those two words seem  the opposite.

ORGANIZED VOLUNTEERING

I met those people in the Red Cross of that city where my personal volunteering failed. I was aware of that kind of thing on the Internet. People work for certain benefits and their activities are strictly organized by other people. I asked  if I could join them in learning the local language (paying for that) , but they refused. Organized volunteering does not support those who volunteer on their own. A person should be organized by someone. I did a lot of volunteering for different organizations

The way I wanted to organize my own independent volunteering, unfortunately, failed. Probably, I again wanted something, which does not exist.It happen with me very often