Anchorite and the The Heart of Effie. Chapter 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN. THE ENDLESS WALL

Alpin opened his eyes. A feeling of tender deathly weakness washed over him as if the boy had been sleeping for several hundred years and his body had practically lost the ability to fill with energy and generally move. He was lying under a big piece of cloth, resembling the dried skin of some gigantic animal, stretched across the top of a fragile structure of poles tied together with ropes. It was quiet and calm around, the smell of boiled potatoes and smoked meat was in the air. Alpin was lying on a soft mat, and under his head was something that looked like a soft feather pillow, but in fact, it was not. The boy turned his head, trying to figure out where he was this time. The last thing that clearly popped up in his memory was a pack of wild monsters that attacked him and Oreon. But Alpin no longer remembered the outcome of the unequal battle. Everything was mixed into one indistinct mess. Bad thoughts immediately attacked the boy: Oreon was nowhere around. Did he survive?
Actually, Alpin was now in someone's modest abode. Someone made this place simple, but very cozy as if somebody had lived here for many years. There was everything that seemed necessary for a tolerable life: a table, a chair, a fire place that looked like an unfinished stove, a huge number of jars and flasks, dried herbs hanging over the entrance, an old rusty sink chattering rhythmically with a drops. Alpin was completely exhausted, but he was still able to move, rising on his elbows and sitting on the mat. The body felt as if it had frozen and was now slowly coming to its senses, giving off an unpleasant tingling.
'You woke up,' a female voice was heard, soft and kind.
A woman unexpectedly entered under the shelter, holding a branch of a strange plant in her hands: it was clearly not set on fire, but nevertheless a light smoke was coming from it, rushing up in a thin stream. It was the smell of this plant that Alpin mistook for the one of food.
Alpin stared in amazement at the woman who had placed a branch in a tall bowl and, having washed her hands, went up to the discouraged guest sitting on the mat. The boy rubbed his eyes a couple of times, even pinched himself painfully, suspecting that this was still a dream. But no, that was reality. And Alpin's eyes did not deceive him.
'Mother?' he said in a trembling voice.
It really was Salina Arvus, Alpin's mother. Or someone who looks like her, like two drops of water. Salina looked exactly the same as Alpin remembered her: hair as white as milk, neatly curly and falling over her shoulders, fair skin with a slight blush, thin lips, spreading in a friendly smile and beautiful green eyes, too big for her face, but not spoiling it at all. No, definitely Alpin could not be mistaken at that moment. Forgetting about his weak arms and legs, he jumped up, leaving a soft bedding, and threw himself on his mother, literally hanging on her, clumsily trying to stay on his unstable legs. Tears gushed from his eyes. Alpin still did not believe in what was happening, but he felt the warmth of his mother's skin: the woman was more real than anything in this world was.
'How can that be…' whispered Alpin. 'I saw you die...'
The woman with grief in half reassured the boy. She sat him back on the bedding,  then poured him a glass of hot herbal tincture, very similar to the one that Oreon gave before, and treated him to a crust of black bread.
'You have come a long way, my dear,' the woman said solicitously, without explaining anything. 'Now you need to gain strength, and later I will take you to the Endless Wall. There you can start your big and much more serious way.'
'But you're my mother, aren't you? It is so?' the boy did not let up, still not taking up tea and modest food. With his hands trembling with excitement, it was even difficult for him to hold a tin mug in his hands. 'Please don’t be silent. My eyes see what cannot exist. But it is still real: I see my... my mother...'
The woman lowered her eyes, shaking her head. Of course not. Alpin's mother is long dead. The boy himself saw it, with his own eyes, which could not deceive. There is no return from the World of the Shadows. This is impossible. However, who is she, a copy of Salina Arvus?
'Who you are?' Alpin asked insistently, gazing at the woman.
She set to work sorting the dried herbs, separating the petals from the stems and placing them in a small bucket with curved sides.
'I'm an anchorite. My name is Estella. Usually I stay away from people, I live as a hermit. I am a kind of intermediary between the World of Shadows and all who inhabit the existing lands. Sometimes I get in touch with those in need to help. My help does not always remain recognized by short-sighted mortals, but in the end they all find the truth and a valuable lesson. You need my help, Alpin. That's why I'm here. I will help you.'
The woman cast a brief glance at the boy, realizing that he had not received the desired explanation, but sat in complete bewilderment, unable to comment on anything in response.
'Everyone who watch me sees me in different images, depending on their state of mind at one time or another. Sometimes I become in someone's eyes the embodiment of something ardently desired, sometimes I turn into the most terrible fear, the embodiment of the horror that people keep in their souls, sometimes I am not visible at all, then a person feels the presence of someone who, as if with an invisible hand, directs his. Many call me a guardian angel, while others call me a curse and disaster. Well, you, Alpin, saw in me your mother, who died many years ago. Believe me, you are far more fortunate in this regard than even people, for example, of royal blood.'
'So it's just a shell?' Alpin muttered a little bewildered and even upset, having drunk some tea. The drink was not hot, but mildly warm.
'Just a shell,' the woman repeated. 'Yes. This is true. I suppose for you to listen to me, to understand me, to trust me, I had to appear to you as the most valuable, though deceased, person. You were heading in the right direction, but were held back by a pack of Andalay wolves. If I hadn't intervened, you'd already be within the Enchanted Forest...'
'In the possession of the elves...' added Alpin, remembering the words of the old man Poltus.
'Yes,' the woman nodded, continuing to touch the dry leaves. 'It's too early for you to face your destiny. You still have unfinished business. It all starts from the moment you cross the Infinite Wall. And I will help you. I had to intervene. Then I came to your little village, Bryson Hill. I should have forced you to leave the place that should be covered by shadows of death and destruction soon. I couldn’t save everyone, but your life and your safety are more important than you might think.'
'So it was you?' whispered to the boy in an insight. 'Holy Five! Were you there that day under the guise of King Primus? Did you want to pick up my father from Bryson Hill?'
'Yes, I did,' the woman smiled. 'You and your father. I was sure that he wouldn't go without you. Geodor would never abandon his son. I do not choose what form to appear in front of any man. Your father saw me as his old friend. Apparently, very dear and valuable. But you, Alpin, turned out to be a very, very complicated child. You are full of surprises.'
'And that fog? Ahlise. Was it also your handiwork?' whispered Alpin, trying finally to sort out this puzzle and clarify the picture in his head.
The woman, without interrupting her work, answered as demurely as she could.
'I say things didn’t go as planned. Ahlise is beyond my control. I didn’t create it and I can’t control it either. Just like the Andalay wolves who were sent to the wasteland, to the ancient dead city of Tombtown, to kill you. You have enemies: you don’t know them yet, but they already want you to die as fast as possible. Yet here you are. You have overcome all the hardships of these last days. Soon you will know your purpose in this story, and I, as I said, will help you make the final and decisive step.'
The boy lowered his head. For a moment, he mistook a woman so similar to his mother as someone who would magically give answers and solutions. Obviously, that’s not the case.
'What happened to Orion?' Alpin asked. 'How did we manage to get out of that massacre? Where is Oreon now? Is he alive?'
'Anchorites are strong, but we are not ubiquitous. I know a lot, but not everything. The only thing I can say is that you saved him, your fellow traveler. If not for you, Oreon would already be a pile of bones. You will know yourself when you show yourself beyond the wall. And we need to hurry. Eat bread, gain strength.'
'Estella?' the boy asked as he finished his tea. 'You said your name was Estella, right?'
'Usually, yes, it is,' the woman smiled.
'Oreon also said that I need to go to the wall. But what is this wall anyway? When I asked Oreon to tell me more, he constantly evaded the answer. If I ask you now, will you tell me about this wall and why should I be there?'
Alpin looked away, finally seeing what was beyond the canopy, and, frankly, there was nothing there but a desert land, dried up by the heat, stretching for many kilometers and disappearing beyond the horizon. It’s still the same wasteland Oreon  led the boy to the wall. Not that Alpin was particularly interested in local landscapes, the boy just could not calmly see this woman, who took on the appearance of his mother, and realize that this was just a trick.
'I can only guide you. I am not a giver. I'm just the leader. All the images that existed in your head before the moment when Bryson Hill covered the ahlise, no more than the appearance of Salina Arvus, which lay on me as a mask,' Estella continued to tell vague phrases.
'Are they alive?' the boy asked in a pleading tone, hoping that at least this question would receive a positive answer.
The boy got visibly too emotional. Suddenly, he felt a surge of emotion. The wave covered him with his head and just as quickly subsided. Alpin found it hard to concentrate.
'Behind the wall,' Estella repeated calmly. 'There you will get all the answers. And luckily for you, we'll be heading there in the next few minutes.'
'So, after I find myself behind this wall, I will know everything? Just like that?' Alpin asked directly, because he really needed this promise. Such a promise would at least a little calm the soul of a weary wanderer.
'Even anchorites do not know everything in the world. But in this case - yes, in order to get on the right path and calm your soul, the truth that awaits you behind the wall will be enough. I can promise you this, boy,' Estella concluded, finally leaving the dried herbs and going up to Alpin. 'And it will happen much faster than you expect.'
The woman smiled, and somewhere in Alpin's heart stung again, and a lump rolled up in his throat. The mind understood everything, but the eyes still saw the mother, and everything inside refused to believe that this was not the miracle that one so wanted to believe in, only a cruel delusion. Estella went up to Alpin and held out her hand to him.
'Come with me...'
The boy did not fully realize how quiet it was until the moment when a strange pop was heard, as if something had exploded very far away. Then dozens more of the same claps. However, nothing was visible. Just clapping repeatedly.
'What is this?' Alpin asked, looking anxiously at Estella.
'It's time for us...' the woman insistently said, holding out her hand even closer to Alpin.
He got up and put the mug on the ground, took Estella by the hand.
'Let's go to the wall...' she continued, taking the boy out from under the shed.
'But where?' Alpin asked. 'Shall we go on foot?'
'You don't have to go anywhere. We're already here,' the woman threw a strange phrase and, having taken only a dozen steps from the shed, she stopped, leading Alpin to a wasteland where there was nothing at all, not even dead bushes. Only all the same dried land.
'What does it mean, here? What's happening?' the boy muttered.
But the surprise only grew when Estella waved her hand in the air, as if with one movement she wiped invisible glass with her palm, and at the same moment, from nowhere in front, literally at a distance of five steps, a solid stone wall appeared, so large and majestic that it was not visible no end no edge. The wall went left and right, and the height was such that any bird would have crashed against a stone obstacle, unable to overcome it.
'What is this?' Alpin said, not believing his eyes.
'It's the Endless Wall,' the woman replied, as if the name of this wall could at least explain something.
'Literally endless?' asked Alpin puzzled.
The woman laughed. She did not explain why this wall was called that way, because really now this information was not so important. Alpin has fixed in his mind Estella’s promise that behind the wall he will finally have all his questions answered. The boy also understood that he had no choice here. As, in fact, there is no way back. He breathed out, suppressing his desire to ask Estella again. However, it was hardly easy.
'What are we going to do now?' Alpin continued to ask in confusion. 'Shall we climb through the top? Shall we bypass it somehow? Or is there an entrance or a kind of that?'
'In order to immediately dispel your doubts and let you understand what this wall is all about, I’ll say that it’s impossible to climb over, fly over, bypass and generally overcome this structure in any way. It is irresistible and indestructible. That is why it is called Endless.'
'How do we get through this wall if it's really endless?' Alpin got even more confused.
'You'll have to learn a few things to get past the wall,' Estella continued. 'Listen carefully, because what I’m about to say is going to come in handy in a few minutes. There is an entrance in the wall. Only one. Nevertheless, he's not exactly ordinary. In order to pass, you must be inside the wall. Do you understand what I mean?'
'No...' the boy mumbled uncertainly, honestly and briefly.
'Fine. I mean, I know it sounds crazy, but it’s not that complicated, even a monkey can do it. Now you will need to go straight through this wall. You will be right inside it. There you will see an altar, tall, white. There will be an old, old book on it. All you have to do is touch the pages with both hands. The book will let you through. Then you will appear on the other side of the wall. There are already waiting for you. Be patient with the people who will meet you. The world behind the wall may seem complicated to you, but this is your world, your new home. Do everything exactly as I said, don't mistake anything, Alpin. Have you got it?'
'You want to say,' Alpin took a breath, 'that I should enter this wall???'
'Yes!' Estella answered so simply, as if she were talking about something taken for granted. 'And hurry up. Others also need my help, and it’s time for me to get going. You will keep going on further alone.'
Finally realizing what was required of him, Alpin still did not move. Two desires mingled in him: to surrender to chance and do everything as Estella said, or simply refuse to do it. And not just because what was happening seemed to sheer absurdity, but because now, at this very moment, Alpin was able to hold his mother’s hand, giving himself to oblivion and self-deception, yet she was so real, of flesh and blood, her skin was warm, the voice was exactly the same as the boy remembered. 'Maybe ask to stay with her?' Alpin thought, holding the woman tightly by the hand, as if afraid that her fingers would slip out like a fish at any moment. 'It may not be my mother, but there is nothing left in my life except this face. I lost my father, friends, home. I have nothing left in this world. To go into the unknown or to stay here until the last? To let go of her hand or to try to pick up something important from the shards of the past?'
'Why can't we go there together?' Alpin asked, desperately looking for a solution.
'We can't do that, no way. As I told you, they are waiting for you behind the wall. Just for you, not for me,' Estella answered with imperturbable seriousness. 'Go on, Alpin. And do as I said.'
Alpin looked the woman straight in the face. Tears welled up in his eyes again. Large drops rolled down his cheeks, betraying pain and longing. Then the boy turned around and hugged Estella tightly. She hugged him back, gently stroking his hair. No matter how much he wanted the moment to last forever, Alpin parted his arms and let go of Estella's hand. He was wholeheartedly grateful to this woman for such moments, for these seconds, for an incredible chance to return to the past and again feel the warmth of his mother's hands.
'I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to lose you again, mom...' a boy whispered through tears, feeling his heart bursting out of his chest. It was, oddly enough, the most intense pain Alpin had experienced in his short life.
'I’m not your mother,' mercilessly, but gently answered Estella, smiling incessantly.
'I know, I know...' nodded the Alpine. 'But will we see each other again? Please promise me I’ll see you again...'
'I come when you need help,' said a woman. 'I’ll come when you need me, boy. Now, go, don't delay.'
Having taken a few steps towards the wall, Alpin found himself very close to the red stones. Right, the closer the boy stood to the wall, the more reddish the stones from which the wall was made of acquired. Stopping, Alpin looked back at the woman who was staring fixedly at him.
'Good luck to you, Alpin,” Estella whispered. Alpin smiled bitterly in response, unable to stop the tears.
Step. Another step. A strange cold tingle covered the body for a split second. From the sudden frost, the boy closed his eyes and held his breath. Surprisingly, everything happened exactly as Estella said. The stones suddenly became soft, like sour cream, and tangibly absorbed Alpin, taking him into their domain.
Opening his eyes, Alpin realized that he was in some separate world. The boy was standing on a long grassy path going forward, and on both sides of this road was a forest. The sky above was dark and strewn with numerous bright stars, which seemed incredibly beautiful and bewitching. For about a minute, Alpin simply looked around and reservedly, silently admired this unrealistically magical place. Then, slowly stepping forward along the path, he spotted ahead, apparently, the same white altar that Estella spoke of. The target was about a few hundred meters away from the boy and emitted a silvery light.
'This is the place…' thought Alpin, remembering every word from the instructions received a few minutes earlier.
The fresh, elastic grass literally springed underfoot, and the bewitching sounds of crickets and birds was coming from the forest. Everywhere one could see the lights of fireflies, like they was sensing the arrival of a guest in their possessions and crawled out onto the road to greet him. Alpin walked slowly, looking at this amazing place and trying to understand how the whole world could get inside the stonewall. There was even magic in the air here, and the boy could bet he smelled magic like no other. Alpin clearly began to hear a whisper in which it was impossible to make out a single word, but this whisper definitely belonged to someone with human speech.
Once again, what did Estella say? Go to the altar, put your palms on the book, and the wall will let the boy go further. Alpin remembered again the promise of this kind woman: behind the wall, answers to all questions await him. Quickening his pace, the boy quickly approached the altar and saw an old shabby book lying on it, which was open exactly in the middle, and for some reason the pages in it turned out to be completely empty. Strange book. In addition, a very strange pass system of this wall. Not wanting to think about anything else, Alpin pressed both palms tightly against the pages of the book and waited for something to happen.
The paper was thick. Very rough. That's all Alpin felt at that moment. Then nothing else happened. A minute or two - nothing. Maybe he should say something? The boy wondered if this book could talk? After all that he had seen, Alpin would hardly have been surprised by a talking book.
'Do you hear me, book?' he said in a cautious, low voice.
And suddenly the pages began to move. The boy was frightened and pulled his hands away from the book at the same moment. Where the hands had been just a second ago, bumps and irregularities began to appear, which gradually formed figures, or rather, two paper faces, one on each page. The mouths of these faces opened, as if unsuccessfully trying to say something. Only now Alpin realized that the very whisper, which had seemed to him until that moment an obsession, came precisely from the pages of the book and belonged to these terrible paper faces. They enveloped and absorbed the boy's consciousness. Alpin fell into them. Probably, now he will open his eyes and find himself, as Estella promised, behind the Endless Wall.