From childhood memories...

 When I lived in the USSR and looked around with wide open eyes, came into contact with life, I whispered in moments of delight:

 - I live in the best world on earth!

 Why was this particular feeling reflected in me?

  Very simply, I was calm and happy, I knew that no matter what happened to me in this world, the people around me would not leave me, they would not leave me to the mercy of fate, and the people nearby were different, but the overwhelming majority were kind... society  it was caring and sensitive... somehow it was a human thing...

 What now?

 Share with you honestly and frankly, without a drop of lies, everything as it is?

 Okay, I’ll take the risk, even if you don’t understand anything... because you’re all different...

 And now I have trouble falling asleep, pain and anxiety in my soul, because now this world turned upside down is bleeding every single day, and I never tire of repeating something completely different that is involuntarily born in me:

 - I hate this selfish world, I feel incredibly bad in this world, where can I hide from it, how can I not think about it, it haunts me day and night, I can’t calm down, black pictures of this world turn over before my eyes, believe  in this world, no one wants, especially, to open their souls, lies and deceit are everywhere, whoever is more cunning, whoever deceives is at the top, and whoever loses is fumbling around below, pulling his veins at several jobs...

 This world is terrible, no matter how you justify it, only the blind cannot see it, but what should the sighted, feeling, understanding into what abyss we are sliding into!?

 It is impossible for anyone with a soul and brains to live normally in this world... this world brings suffering in one way or another...

 Of course, you can not give a damn about this world and live your life, withdraw into your personal cocoon, rejoice, smile, laugh, but you are not an island, whether you want it or not, you still have to come into contact with this world... you look into its eyes, but  There is horror there - emptiness and death...

 There is nothing more I can do to please you...