Oh, cornflowers, cornflowers...

Русский вариант - http://proza.ru/2005/12/16-306

We are first-year students of the Semipalatinsk Construction College. We haven’t studied yet, we just entered and have not yet recovered from happiness. We are traveling in two autobooms to our first practice for potatoes and watermelons in the village of Nechaevka. We haven’t studied yet, which means we’re seeing each other for the first time, we haven’t had time to get to know each other yet. Here is the long-awaited village, located near the border, which means it is a border village. Here Kazakhstan ends somewhere nearby and China begins.

People are not visible, as if they have died out. I looked at the boys all the way on the bus, who should I have my eye on? But I liked them all, and I decided: none of them. Life will show who is who, the heart will tell him. Maybe this? What if he turns out to be an excellent student and starts to feel embarrassed to act like a fool with me? I’m here through connections, what if he’s not a criminal?

Naturally, I will learn something, and he will be an example to everyone? Then I found out that this boy’s name was Petya Fateev. Our buses stopped near the canteen, ate, the food was not tasty, so I had a suspicion: shouldn’t I immediately wash my stomach on the spot? When we left, there was no trace of the bus. There, in Semipalatinsk, it’s already autumn, the trees are already starting to turn yellow, but here everything is green, like in summer.

But the harvest was already ripe, so they sent us. There was only one young teacher above us, who led us girls to an empty house of three rooms. And he took the boys with him to the other end of the village, to a barracks-type room. In the first room there was only one bed, on which our eldest should sleep; we must choose it among ourselves. The eldest didn’t have to choose for long; she stepped forward and said:

- I will be the eldest, my name is Irina Muktanion, contact me with any questions.
There were no objections, because she said it so confidently that she immediately convinced everyone that she was the eldest. They began to occupy the beds; there were only iron beds. I didn’t have enough beds, I got one cot and that was in the aisle. You had to step over me or jump so as not to step on me.

And when I wasn’t lying on it, they simply stepped into the very middle and moved on. My suitcase could not be placed under my folding bed, then it would have been hard to sleep, since the folding bed would not fall through. I sat like that for some time, me on the folding bed and my suitcase next to me. Everyone left to get acquainted with the village, it was five o’clock in the evening, and it was still light.

I thought that I was left alone, I just sat and reasoned that I had never been lucky. They had all already met each other on the bus and became friends, but while I was looking at the boys I couldn’t find a girlfriend.
- You can put the suitcase under my bed.
- Oh, I thought I was alone. And why didn’t you leave?
- I don’t know anyone yet, I haven’t had time to make friends.
- Me too, but do you want us to be friends?
- Want.

The bed of the interlocutor turned out to be perpendicular to the cot, and if I put my pillow against the wall, and not against the door, then our heads would be close, and we could whisper at night. I pushed my suitcase under her bed and sat down next to her. She turned out to be so huge next to me, just mother and daughter.

- Oh, you're so small.
- I'll still grow up.
- No, don't. I envy you. You have a lot of chances to marry a tall man, an average man, and a short man. How I wish I could be like you.
- Don't grow up.
- It’s easy to say, I’m still fifteen, and everyone already calls me auntie.

I started looking at her, and my mouth even opened in surprise. Sitting in front of me was, well, a real pig. I have never seen such a resemblance before. She caught my expression, lowered her eyes and then her head.
- No one has ever been friends with me, I look like a pig, I know. Everyone is embarrassed of me, I’m even embarrassed of myself. If you don't want to, don't be friends with me, I'll understand. My nickname is Pig, my mom and dad work at a pigsty, and my last name is Khryusha.
- And everyone calls me Skvorchikha and my last name is Skvortsov. Look at me carefully, I look like a bird, my head is disproportionately small, see?

And I got up.
- Do you see how small my head is, my nose is like a beak? We have the same problems with you, the same trouble.
I extended my hand to her.
- Tanya.
She buried my little hand in her hand.
- Well, you compared: a pig and a bird. If my name was a bird, I would fly in the sky with happiness. I have cards, let's play?
- No, I can’t.
Olya started playing cards:
- And I’ll teach you, do you want to play the fool?
- I can guess.

She looked seriously:
- Yes?! Tell your fortune, I've never had anyone tell my fortune before.
-Are you from the village?
- Yes, are you from the city?
- From Semipalatinsk.
Olya looked at me appraisingly and grinned:
- That’s why you’re so dead, everything you eat there is not natural.
I immediately answered her:
- How do you eat here, I tried it today, I’m still sitting there stupefied.
Olga handed me the cards and placed her pillow between us.
- Why a pillow?
- I heard that it works better on a pillow. Do you want me to swap my bed?
- Quiet. Thirty-six cards and four suits... And which king are we going to guess, light or dark?

- I don’t have a king, guess what? You have a good party, last time they played a lot, we had guests, they played until the night and recently, these are the parents' cards.
- Thirty-six cards and four suits... Are you a girl?
- Of course, I'm still fifteen. And then, even if there were twenty, who would look at me
covet?
- Don't talk, you'll knock it down. Thirty-six cards and four suits, tell the whole truth, what awaits the queen of hearts in her future life?
The cards lay neatly around the queen of hearts. Olga sat quietly and, as if holding her breath, watched the situation.

- For her, for the house, for the heart, what was, what will be, how will it end, will everything be blocked?
- Well, why are you silent, because you need to say something?
- When I finish, then I’ll say, I concentrate and seem to see pictures, but you’re disturbing me, not even pictures, but as if knowledge comes from nowhere.
Olga fell silent again, you can see how worried she is and how my silence begins to anger her. The cards in front of me lay in an upside-down Christmas tree, folded in threes, and I looked at them carefully. Olya also bent over, trying to see reality there, pictures from the future. I began to casually pull out a card from the middle of the deck and throw it onto this “Christmas tree”.
- It will surprise, amuse, calm, and cover everything.

We looked at each other.
- Olya, you are about to get married.
- How! Am I married? It can’t be, but with my appearance?! You're lying? Look, this ace is the grave, and this queen of spades is death, you're lying to me.
- Olya, but the king of spades is the king, which means the ace, this is the registry office, and the queen of spades is coming soon.
- Tanya, what is it like: light or dark?
- Do you see the king of diamonds? That means fair, that means a boy, not a man.
- Aren’t you lying?
- Who am I? Yes, even adults turn to me, and even rumors about me spread throughout the city. First they went to my mother, and then they realized that more things were coming true for me, and now they come to me.

One of the girls came in, then we found out that her name was Sveta Fosenko. Olga hastily removed the cards and replaced the pillow. Sveta walked to her bed and fell face first into the pillow and froze.
- She's crying.
Olya objected:
- Why should she cry?
- I don’t know, but she’s crying.
Olya slowly walked towards the girl and leaned over:
- Her shoulders would tremble. Maybe she died?
Sveta stirred and put her hands under her face so as not to suffocate.
Olga straightened up and immediately asked:
- Hey, are you crying?
- No.

Here I began to find out the reason:
- No, you're crying. Olya, she’s definitely crying. Has anyone offended you?
- No.
Olga asked more sternly:
- What's the matter?
- I want to go home.
- So you got acquainted with the village. It’s good that we didn’t go, at least the mood didn’t spoil.
Sveta sat down.
- I want to go home, I want to go to my mother.
Her eyes were red, and her whole face looked like a red lantern turned on.
- Olga, she’s only going to ruin our mood now with her whining. Let's go for a walk, even if we stand in the fence.

The girls began to get ready, some were already saying goodbye to our guys at the gate.
Olga leaned towards me and whispered conspiratorially in my ear:
- Look, people don’t get lost, they’re already walking around in pairs.
The fence was large, at the end there were sheds for livestock and firewood.
And she spoke louder, sighing:
- Well, I ran away from the village and found myself in the village again.
I just have to calm her down:
“It’s only for a month and a half, and then we’ll be blown away from here like the wind.” When I get old, I’ll go to the village, but not this one, this one is kind of boring, like everyone else died.
- Everyone is in the field during the day and sleeps at night. And in the city they hang out in the streets day and night.

Gradually, not only our guys, but also local ones began to approach our gate. We had a rule, as Ira Muktanion established: not to let anyone in at the gate. If you need to call a girl, stand at the gate and ask the first person you see to call whoever you need. We worked in the fields, sometimes on potatoes, sometimes on watermelons, sometimes on tomatoes. In the evening we lit the stove in the first room and cooked potatoes in a large saucepan.

Before going to bed we ate potatoes and snacked on tomatoes so as not to go to bed hungry. I also liked our two guys. First, Petya Fateev began to call me, this is the one whom I especially singled out among the others on the bus. He hung around me during the day, in the field, sat next to me in the dining room, and then called me in the evening. I put on a sweater and walked to the door. Lariska Dalyatova blocked my path.

There was so much pleading in her brown eyes:
- You love him?
- Whom?
- Petya?
- I, no, but I like him.
This is a really very handsome guy, tall with gray expressive eyes and waves of bangs.
- If you leave with him now, I will commit suicide.
- Why?
- I love him very much, don’t go with him, I beg you!
- Then let's go together.

Larisa stepped aside, and together we approached the gate.
- Petya, I like another boy, don’t be offended, I won’t tell my heart, but that’s how it is.
Petya lowered his eyes, it was clear that it was very difficult for him to hear this, but he stood there and listened to the end.
- Petya, I don’t want to walk with you, if I walk with you, then the other one won’t look at me. Do not be offended. Yes, I beg you, please take Larisa to the teacher, she has some business with him, and then take her back, she’s afraid. OK?
- OK...

This “okay” was squeezed out somewhere from the inside, not by voice, but by soul. Then Volodya Lanionov called me, I didn’t have any feelings for him, but I went together just to take a walk before going to bed. We were walking. And then suddenly Volodya turned me by the shoulders and tried to kiss me, I turned away and ran. It rained and since there was clay soil, the road seemed to be plowed, I slipped. Volodya ran after me.
- Are you fool? Why are you running away?
- Do not come to me!
I was sitting in the dirt.
- Give me a hand.

I threw a handful of dirt at him.
- Stupid, really stupid, and I also got involved with this crazy woman.
He turned and walked away. I crept up to our window. There were couples standing near the gate, fortunately the fence was small, a sparse picket fence, she crept up from the side of our window and knocked. Sveta looked out.
- Light, call Olga? Olya, I'm covered in dirt.
- Did he push you?
- No, I fell on my own.
- Wait, I’ll go out now, let’s go to the pump together, otherwise the conversations will start.

- Tanya, are you awake?
- No.
- Didn’t you lie about being married?
- No, the king of spades with the queen of spades and the ace of spades, this is happiness, but what if
next to you and Diamonds, this wedding means everything together. You saw everything yourself, right?
- Why doesn’t anyone call me to the gate because I look like a pig?
I turned on my side and tried to whisper as convincingly as possible, looking into Olya’s eyes:
- Fool, you're pretty. We all look like some kind of animal.
- Well, why did my mother marry my father, because he had the same problems and the same face and last name? She hoped that the children would like her.

- You see, it was found for my father and it will be found for you.
- He has a good character, he himself did not think that his mother would marry him. Her friends have had their fill of grief with their handsome men, and ours lives like God’s in his bosom, behind my father. He is so dumb, hard-working, he agrees with everything.
I sat down on the cot and, clasping my knees with my hands, leaned almost right up to her face so that the girls wouldn’t hear:
- Why did you go to technical school?
- I don’t have a personal life, at least maybe I’ll be lucky in my career?
- What kind of cross did you get?

- Oh, this one, he’s my neighbor, I really liked him and like him, he knew it and
hurt me the most. Do I know how much I cried? Every day with girls and always with different ones, he rocked them on my swing at night, right under my window. Moreover, they deliberately cackled so much that my father came out to drive them away. And I specially hung a thin curtain so that he could see me at night, as soon as I turned on the light. I undressed slowly, thinking, what if I fall in love? Actually, it was because of him that she left. I can’t see how he is with others.
A voice came from the middle of the room:
- Girls, that's enough, go to sleep.

Lariska Dalyatova spoke up:
- Let them chat, they’ll be quiet.
And Lariska became friends with Petka and now she stands up for me like a mountain. When she returned from that walk, she even came in with Petka’s jacket on her shoulders, and then she caught herself and ran to catch up and give her the jacket. She returned after twelve, Irka Muktanion scolded her outside the door and took her word that it would not happen again.

On Saturday there were dances at the local club in the village of Nechaevka. Everyone gathered except Olga and me. During this time I did not have time to fall in love - the time had not come, and Olga did not even think about dancing. I sat down on a cut tree in the fence, Olga next to me.
- Shall we sing?
- Olya, what if the locals think that we got drunk?
- And in our village even non-drunk people sing in the evening.
- No, it’s somehow not usual. Oh, it looks like a mosquito bit me. As soon as they start to overcome us, we’ll go home.
- I have mosquito repellent ointment.
- So bring it.

Olya ran off to look for ointment in her suitcase, and I remained sitting. A blond guy of average height approached the gate.
- Why aren’t you at the dance, I was looking for you there, but you didn’t come?
- Don’t wait, I have no interest in you.
- What is your name?
- Olya.
“Olya” just came out of my mouth, and I called him Olya. Why, I don’t know myself?
- Olya, shall we go dancing?
- Listen, leave me alone?
I turned away.
- Olya, Olya-ya-ya.

Olga came up.
- Why is he calling me?
- He asked what your name is, so I answered what your name is.
- Shall we go dancing?
It came from the direction of the gate.
- Why did you tell him my name?
- He asked, I answered.
- For what?
- Look, he’s blond, which means diamonds.
Olga turned, took the rod and walked up to the gate. She started waving the twig in front of his face, trying to reach him.
- I'll take you to the dance!
- Is she mad? Olya, shall we go?
- Get out, disappear!

We went into the house, the guy stood there a little longer and slowly, still turning towards our house, he left. We watched him through the window through the curtain.
- Why did you do that? Olya, he’s a diamond, isn’t he?
- If you seriously fall in love, then he will come again. And if you deceive with a thought, it won’t break him, that’s a fig. Although I'm not beautiful, I'm not stupid.
Olya said this, and she herself glowed with happiness. I understood: she simply did not know how to behave in this case, she was not ready.

- “Oh, cornflowers, cornflowers-and-and,
 How many of you grew up in the field,
 I remember how cornflowers-and-and you were,
 We collected for Olya-i-i...”
Everyone sat down on their beds, just turned off the lights and lay down, and here you are... Everyone sat and looked at Olya. And Olya sat and cried, and the longer he sang, the more her shoulders trembled. The guy stood opposite our window in the fence and sang, playing the guitar.
- Olya, this is a serenade for you.
- Olya, why are you crying?
- She's out of happiness.

Then he sang five or six more songs and everywhere in the songs he inserted the name Olya instead of a woman’s name. Everyone lay and listened. I climbed onto Olya’s bed and sat next to her, whispering:
- Bubnovy... Bubnovy...
- Tanya, what did he see in me, he’s so handsome, isn’t he?
- He's not handsome, he's simple. And then, did your mother find something in your father?
Irina Muktanion entered.
- Hey, artist, maybe that's enough? It's time for the girls to go to bed, and so does your Olya.
He went to the window and held out a net of apples to the window.
- Please tell Ole?

Ira extended her hand and took the net.
- I’ll tell you, you sing well, but we need to sleep.
- Ask, will Olya come to the dance next time?
- Olya, will you come to the dance?
- I'll come.
Olya whispered. I shouted loudly:
- He will come!
I went to my cot and thought: I need to somehow bring them together. What if it turns out like with Petya and Lariska?

By the following Saturday I caught a cold.
- Tanya, maybe I won’t go to the dance, I’ll stay with you?
- What chance do you have, are you crazy?!
- Yes, you’re right, but won’t you be offended? You know, I’ll go buy you a bottle of Cahors, our whole village is treated with this wine for colds.
- Go.
- You drink it as much as you can, cover yourself under two blankets and try to sleep, you will sweat, and it will all take off. You really won't be offended?
- No, I won’t be offended, I’m happy for you, I wish you everything - everything with him.

Olga went to the store to buy wine. I gathered the girls and started talking to them:
- Do you think Olga has a chance?
They started grinning and giggling.
“That’s why she needs to be given this chance.” Who knows how to cut hair?
- Yes, she will never part with it, although the braid only spoils it.
- Slicked like a pig.
- She has her hair down, like a piglet.
Shurka said:
- I can cut hair, my mother is a hairdresser.
- Do you want to make a Firebird out of a pig?
- I can’t, but if we all do it together. We’ll put on what anyone has, cut it, color it and off we go.
- Quiet, he's coming in.

Olga agreed to part with her braid, without hesitation, she agreed to wear someone else’s dress, someone else’s jewelry. Irina Bukova turned out to be a makeup artist, Shurka did an amazing haircut. We all liked it so much that we immediately made a list - one haircut every day.
- Oh, girls, why do you care about me so much?
- Olya, this is your first date in your life, and how many of us have already had one?
- Girls, I love you all so much, I’m so happy that I have you! Tanya, start drinking Cahors and when you get drunk, go straight to bed, we’ll lock you up. I am so happy, Lord, as never before!
I kept telling her:
- Olya, you must meet his eyes, or better yet, don’t take your eyes off him. Where he goes, you go with your eyes.
- Is this how they attract guys?
- But of course!

Olya came home from the dance, not very happy.
- Tanya, Tanya, wake up, he’s calling you to talk.
- Who?
- Seryozha.
- What does he need?
- I don’t know, he accompanied me and asked everything about you, and now, through me, he calls you. How do you think why?
- Now he wants to ask me, like a friend, about you. It's always like that. You have to talk about something when people are walking next to you.
- Do they talk about friends when they first meet?
- About the weather, about friends, about everything. Okay, I'm getting dressed. And what is his name?
- Seryozha. Tanya, when he asks about me, don’t you tell me about him?
- About whom?
- Well, about the Crusader, that I loved him. Let him think that I love for the first time?
- OK.

- What do you need?
- You.
- For what?
- I liked you. And it turns out your name is Tanya.
- So what?
- Let's go for a walk?
- And a childhood friend is waiting for me in the city, I love him, I won’t go for a walk with anyone else. You don't have a chance, you know?
- What, none at all?
- None at all. Olga fell in love with you at first sight and forever, go with her.
- Well, I'll go.
- Here you go.
- I will harm you.

- Do me a favor. Should I call?
- Call me. But yours will leave you anyway, he doesn’t love you, I feel it.
- Go away, croak here. Olya, yours is calling you!
Olya appeared from behind the door.
- I heard everything.
- Let's go Olya, I stopped loving her. Now I know why you don’t come to the gate and don’t go to the dances, you can smell wine a kilometer away. Let's go Olya, I stopped loving her.
- Is it true?
- Is it true.
And they left.

Olya learned how to do her makeup herself, I remade her dresses with deep necklines and shorter ones. From a village girl, she gradually turned into a city student. She even began to change in character, became cheerful, gained self-confidence, told us fresh jokes from Seryozha, and in general, became like everyone else.

How can love change a person, how can love turn an ugly girl into a pretty girl?! This miracle, this transformation of Cinderella into a princess happened before our eyes. How Olya looked forward to every evening, and then they walked until eleven at night, after which Seryozha sang songs to us and passed apples in a net through the window for Olya.

- Tanya, do you want me to give you my bed?
- Why?
- In gratitude.
- What are you thanking me for, you fool? I gave Lariska Petka Fateeva and I don’t regret it, but I don’t want your village for nothing. Olya, how old is he?
- Sixteen.
- Tell me honestly, are you a girl?
- Not anymore.
- Crazy!
- Not at all, I want a baby. I know that no one will marry me anyway, but now is the chance to have at least a child.
- And where are you going with him?
- Home, my parents will only be glad, they also don’t hope that I will get married, at least I will have happiness - a child.
- You're an idiot! Does that mean I was still an accomplice in this scam? Thanks Olya...

The buses came for us at lunchtime, we ate in the cafeteria and drove off.
- Why didn’t yours come to see you off?
- He works in the field, we visited yesterday.
- What kind of woman approached you?
- His mother.
- How, why, to understand?
- No, I’m marrying Seryozha.
- Pregnant?
- No, he invited me and introduced me to my parents.
- When?
- Three days ago.
- What if he stops loving you?
- Who will he exchange it for? There are no girls here?

- Olya, you’re fifteen, and he’s sixteen, isn’t it too early?
- No, there won’t be another case like this. And career, to hell with it, personal life is more important. My parents liked the fact that I was from the village, and they considered the city people to be fidgety. His mother works on the board, and she will sign us up. He’s still two years away from the army, I’ll give birth to two quickly and they won’t take him into the army. His older brother didn’t join the army either. You know what's going on there.
Everyone was sitting in pairs, only Olya and I were alone. I because the time never came for me to fall in love, and Olya because she fell in love and was already a bride. Petya and Lariska sat in front and kissed all the time.
- What about the technical school?

- So I’m going to pick up the documents and go back. Tanya, I will send you letters for my parents at first, and you will forward them from Semipalatinsk. Then I’ll notify them about everything myself, Seryozha and I will come home already registered.
- Crazy.
- This is a chance, you know, a chance, and I won’t have another chance like this.
- What’s his last name?
- Good.
- I’m asking about his last name, not how good he is.
- Last name is Good.
- So will you be Good now?

- It means this: my children will be Good, and my grandchildren and great-grandchildren too. Tanya, and you
Is your childhood friend really waiting at home?
- No, of course there was a friend, but I was disappointed in him.
- Tanya, let’s sing?
And we sang:
- “Oh, cornflowers, cornflowers-and-and,
 How many of you have grown up?"

And a year later, a nine-story student dormitory was being completed, where Olga Khryusha - Good, but she would never live there - was supposed to live. We, already second-year students, removed garbage from the floors; this was our summer practice. And two of the healthiest of our guys even poured crushed stone for the flooring. Petya Fateev did not work with us, he was probably at another facility, or was completely released from practice?

One day Petya came in at the end of the working day. I was sitting in the foreman's room. I didn’t pick up the trash like everyone else, since I was the smallest in the group, I had to keep the foreman’s room clean, wash the decanter and fill it with water. Petya called me outside, we moved away from the foreman
- Tanya, I have to get married.
- Congratulations.
- Lariska is pregnant.
- Congratulations twice.

- But I don’t love her, I still love you!
- I like the other one.
He looked into my eyes the whole time, and when he got to this phrase, his eyes were already full of tears.
- Little bird, you don’t know who you like? What have you done?!
He turned and walked away. I looked at his back. I felt sorry for him, sorry for myself, he became smaller and smaller, and I stood and thought:
- Why dont know? I like you, I like you more than anyone, but if I had gone with you, Lariska would have committed suicide at the age of fifteen. And now it’s too late to change anything, Lariska is pregnant, and you have to get married.

And in the fall there was a wedding, the whole group gathered, but I was not there. Ira Muktanion came and began to persuade. I lay in bed and told her:
- Yesterday at a bus stop a guy knocked me down, I lost consciousness and now, as soon as I get up, I feel dizzy.
- And I’ll hold your hand the whole time.
- No, I have a concussion, I need to lie down, otherwise there will be consequences.
I won’t tell her that Petya loves me and that’s why I can’t be there?

After graduating from college, a year or two later, Peter and I met by chance on the street.
- Oh, Petya, how many winters are there, how are you?
- I hate her, I can’t see her, but I have to live with her, we have a daughter, and I love my daughter more than life itself. Do you know how pretty she is?! I caught Lariska with a neighbor in my bed when I returned from a business trip.
- Are you married?
- No.
- Little bird, you little bird, you will definitely be lucky, because it’s impossible not to love you. I love you still. What have you done?!

He turned around and left without even saying goodbye. I know why he didn’t say goodbye, he cried and didn’t want me to see his tears. It just dawned on me: What a good couple we would be! I wouldn’t change Petya’s mind. She turned her back on everyone, buried her face in the store window so that no one could see, and the tears flowed naturally. Behind the glass hung a large painting; it turned out to be an art gallery. She wiped away her tears and began to look at the picture; it shows a clearing with cornflowers and daisies. In the foreground these flowers were large, but then they became dots and completely merged into a blue line.
- Where did he find such a clearing?!
I fell in love and somehow it blurted out:
- “Oh, cornflowers, cornflowers,
How many of you grew up in the field?”

1999