To R. or Born to fly

... and everything will seem like a dream one day. The only things that will be left from these memories are the ability to sense the most important thing—kindred spirits—and the warmth that warms the soul.
I am acutely convinced that I was born to fly and that I will never be able to be earthly.
It scares me to think that I am like this, yet there is nothing I can do about it. I've done it many times before, but each time it caused me pain. This time, I'm simply not wanting to change anything.

The most significant thing is that I have finally started to embrace this situation as a sickness, from which I am working to recover, and as an addiction, from which I am working to wean myself. I feel like this reminds me of a sickness, and whenever I experience these symptoms, I feel unhappy.
I try to avoid loving the most important people in my life the way I want to in order to make it easier to let them go. I do this because I want to be prepared for it when it happens.
The thought of having to face what I have lost causes me to suffer beforehand.
I am aware that because I always plan forward, I am losing out on the opportunity to be happy now.
Even if I haven't completely understood the significance of the present, I am already ahead of speed for the future.
I genuinely think that the day will arrive, even if I have no idea what will happen next.
I was born to fly. The sky and a few more wings beside me are all I need.