In a different existence

You see, overthinking is a treacherous game, 
with a delicate ego left bruised and battered. 
I confess, I’m infatuated with the sting of suffering, 
and I’m not one to shield others from it. 
You know this truth, 
having felt the weight of my boot, 
pressing you down, unveiling your hidden yearnings, 
the raw emotions that made you tremble. 
This is your toll for careless choices, love.
You shouldn’t have summoned me to ignite the flames together. 

Your hands—oh, how they enslave me— 
always reaching the sacred secrets of mine, 
drawing tears of ecstasy from my eyes. 
I still long to cradle your palm against my cheek, 
to kiss it reverently, as if you were divine. 
What can I say? I’m a captive to your words, 
sensual and unforgettable, 
perhaps you're even more than a saint in my eyes. 
You are the fire that ignites my soul, 
a spark from a glance, a sigh, a casual word. 
Who else can caress and plunge me into the depths like you?.. 
You are my soft, sweet darkness, 
the embrace from which I rise to the light. 

"You’re the only one without a mask," you said, 
"You're such a rare sincerity, and that’s why I desire you... so deeply." 
I was at a loss for words, 
for you’ve woven yourself into my very being. 
"Will you do all those things you told me, 
if fate allows us to meet one day?" 
I can picture you, eyes closed, 
lost in the fantasy of that peculiar yet yearned-for encounter. 
Nothing will stand in our way: 
not time, nor distance, nor the years that separate us. 
Meanwhile, your fingers glide over the screen, as you imagine how desperately I melt beneath your touch. 

And yet... 
And yet... 

Because of me, a woman who once sought something real, 
walked away from you. 
She left, only to return, 
burning the bridge behind us. 
But those years of mutual obsession were better 
than all the moments that came before. 
Because of me, you bear too many burdens, 
and intense climaxes that come unexpected.
And I bear all this too, let’s not kid ourselves. 

Does it bother me that just a single ember lingers from our blaze? 
Not at all. 
Does it trouble me that another woman finds solace on your shoulder? 
Not in the slightest. 
(Yeah, I'm your little desperate liar!)
Am I really sure that our paths may rarely cross again? 
Maybe. 
Do you still send a thrill through me, gazing wistfully from those fresh pictures of you? 
Absolutely. 
Perhaps there’s a sequel waiting... 
But in a different existence.

[2020/2022]