It is with heavy heart I address this

It is with heavy heart I address this
most honourable assembly, concerning
a most dishonourable practice now
infecting our fair realm. In this age
of enlightenment, where Britannia proudly
proclaims herself the cradle of liberty,
we witness a spectacle most vile:
the King's men hauling freeborn Englishmen
to gaol for the crime of posting memes! This year
hath seen above three thousand souls apprehended
under pretext of policing "offensive twitters"
and "hateful scribblings" - though methinks 'tis hatred
of truth that motivates these censors.

A learned antiquarian now faces ruin
for daring to discourse upon Negro slavery -
a subject any man of conscience must ponder!
A schoolboy of tender years clapped
in irons for sketching a jape about
old Admiral Tom - where is the English humour
that once buoyed our spirits? They cloak their tyranny
in Acts of Parliament - the Communications Statute
and Public Order Edict - yet apply
them with the consistency of a drunk magistrate.
The radical firebrand who preaches sedition in Moorfields
walks free, while the honest yeoman
who questions why his parish swims with illegal foreigners
finds himself in the dock.

Our courts become puppet shows.
A vicar's daughter prosecuted for a "racist" quill-posting -
her words twisted like a hangman's noose!
A Methodist street preacher charged
with "transphobic heresy" for reading Leviticus -
since when did Holy Scripture become a criminal manifesto?
Worse still, His Majesty's newly formed Thoughtcrime Constabulary
compels schoolmasters and apothecaries to inform
upon their charges. Last Michaelmas, a child
of nine winters was interrogated
like a French spy for drawing Palestinian olive trees!

This is not justice - 'tis the Inquisition reborn,
with Bow Street Runners playing the Dominican friars!
I say unto you: Beneath the painted smile of tolerance
lurks a Leviathan that would make Hobbes blanch.
Our ancient rights - hard won at Runnymede -
are traded for the illusion of safety.

Let every freeborn Englishman refuse this spycraft -
let no informers amongst us!
Revive the coffeehouse tradition
of vigorous debate -
sans fear of the bailiff! Teach our children virtue
through Milton and Locke, not through some Ministry-approved
catechism! Shall we be remembered as
the generation that surrendered Magna Carta for politeness?

The hour demands we choose: liberty
with all its glorious mess,
or chains gilded with progressive cant.