The Best Gift for an Intelligent Lady

I’ve known Kirsten for many years. She now teaches a piano course at our conservatory, but once upon a time she gave music lessons to my children—who, of course, have long since grown up. Kirsten is a very pleasant, intelligent lady, and she’s still quite cute, even though she’s nearing sixty. We’re not close friends and don’t meet very often, but from time to time we get together for a cup of coffee—sometimes even with a splash of liqueur or cognac—at a caf; in downtown Victoria.

Recently, Kirsten had a birthday, and I spent quite a while thinking about what to give her. In the end, I decided that the best gift would be a book. Considering her creative nature, I chose The Master and Margarita, the mystical novel by the Russian writer Mikhail Bulgakov, in English translation. These days, there are many different editions of the novel available in bookstores, so I had to spend some time picking out what I considered to be the best translation—one that would convey, as faithfully as possible, all the subtleties of Bulgakov’s work.
Kirsten seemed to appreciate the gift. She thanked me and said she would definitely read it.

About a month and a half later, we met again for coffee, and I asked her,
“Well, Kirsten, how did you like Bulgakov?”

“Sorry—did you just ask about my vibrator?” she replied.

“Oh, nothing,” I said, “you must’ve misheard me,” and quickly steered the conversation to another topic.


October 31, 2025