Propaganda Supplements

Shcheglova Olga (Boris Bidyaga)

WARD №666: ORTHODOX MILITARY PUTINISM
 Album of satirical miniatures

MINIATURE ZERO-4
PROPAGANDA SUPPLEMENTS

Biologically active informational additives. Increase the bioavailability of state propaganda up to 100%. Active components effectively penetrate the blood–brain barrier (of critical thinking).

Product line:

• RT-Fake-Hallucinat, 100-500 mg tablets, extended release. Do not chew!
• Kremlin-Surrogate-Info-Syrup, standardized formula.
• “Simulacra of Christianity” Balm, with an odour of hatred. For external use only. Conditionally toxic.
• “Traditional Values” Alcohol Tincture, multi-component. Murky suspension with a cadaverous aroma. 40% ABV.
• RuMedia-FacTwister, powder for oral suspension. Hallucinogenic, with a taste of aggression.
• Kremlin-Ersatz-History, intramuscular injection kit, 100-500 mg. Versions 1.0–10.0 available.
• “Television-Past-Revision” ultra-gentle suppositories with a recto-informational itching effect. 100-500 mg.
• Bifilac-Info, 100-500 mg. An enzymatic medicine (bifido-lacto-Info-bacteria) to support the digestion of fake news, preventing indigestion and constipation.

Pharmacological action:

• Loyalty Stimulants: activate centers of submission and herd instinct.
• Hatred Agonists: stimulate the amygdala (center of fear and aggression). Boost norepinephrine to redirect anger toward external enemies, constructively relieving internal social tension.
• Analysis Inhibitors: suppress prefrontal cortex activity, responsible for critical thinking and logic.
• Empathy Blockers: deactivate the insular lobe and anterior cingulate cortex, suppressing all forms of empathy and compassion.

Not classified as medicinal products.

Standardized composition:

• Fakes – 50%
• Delusions – 20%
• Empty dreams – 10%
• Self-deception – 5%

Inactive ingredients:

U.S. president’s private life, celebrity gossip, African weather reports, UFOs.

Flavoring options:

Great-power chauvinism, ultra-right nationalism, flag-waving patriotism, ordinary fascism, blind hatred, “Obama’s a jerk”, “rotten West”, “Holy war”.

Colorants & enhancers:

“Traditional values” (premium), “spiritual bonds” (extra strong), “life’s become better & merrier”, “radioactive ashes”, “we will win.”

Administration and Dosage:

The daily dose is calculated according to the formula: IQ * 10 (mg). The maximum daily dose is 1300 mg.

Take before evening news broadcasts, V. Solovyov’s and M. Simonyan’s prime-time shows, D. Kiselyov’s “News of the Week”, Putin’s live Q&As, D. Peskov’s and the Ministry of Defense briefings.

Caution:

Hyperloyalty syndrome, sapio-deficiency. In case of acute outbreaks of common sense, doubts about the righteousness of state policy, or other forms of resistance to propaganda, “FORTE” version is recommended.

Vital signs monitoring:

Dopamine levels must remain within the state-approved range. Excessive emotional amplitude may cause euphoric loyalty syndrome.

Side effects:

Patriotic delirium, panegyrical logorrhea, uncontrollable vomiting with embedded slogans. A transient cloudy sediment (in the soul) may occur. In rare cases: ideological thrombosis, leading to acute cognitive failure.
To minimize side effects, increase dosage gradually. Do not exceed recommended amounts!

Special instructions:

Suspension recipe. Take 1/2 glass from any murky source, add 1 tsp of powder, stir. IMPORTANT: Thorough agitation of all kinds — required. Maximum bioavailability achieved in a state of controlled stupor.

Warning: not nootropics. Do not enhance cognitive abilities, only align them with state ideology. If accidentally ingested by an independent journalist or human rights activist, may cause an acute allergic reaction.

Shelf life: unlimited.