Dreams Of The Dnieper

Shcheglova Olga (Boris Bidyaga)

WARD №666: ORTHODOX MILITARY PUTINISM
 Album of satirical miniatures

MINIATURE №15
DREAMS OF THE DNIEPER
 
The Russian president, Vladimir Putin, dreams, as though he and the Russian defense minister, Sergei Shoigu, were fishing on the Dnieper River in Ukraine.

Shoigu:
— The fishing here is excellent… Since time immemorial… Our river, Old Rus’… Mother Volga and Father Dnieper — all the waters of Rus’ came from them… As the great Russian poet once said: “The Dnieper is wondrous in calm weather…”

Putin:
— Indeed. By the way, a thousand years ago, right on this very spot, Prince Vladimir caught a giant Perch weighing over 100 pounds! It’s recorded in The Tale of Bygone Years!

(Putin awakens: drizzle, a nasty gray fog drifting over the Moscow River. He dials Medinsky.)

Putin:
— Vladimir Rostislavovich? Urgently include the Perch in the new history textbook! Yes, that very one… As a symbol… of Russia’s greatness. And make sure it has an illustration!

*V.R. Medinsky is a “history maker” on the Kremlin’s order, including for school education.