Distorted Confessional

Shcheglova Olga (Boris Bidyaga)

WARD №666: ORTHODOX MILITARY PUTINISM
 Album of satirical miniatures

MINIATURE №56
THE CONFESSIONAL OF DISTORTED MIRRORS
 
Russia. In the confessional of a Russian Orthodox church.

Penitent:
— Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned… I am… a bit of a paeanist.

Priest (alarmed):
— A pacifist?! That borders on treason, my son!

Penitent:
— No, no! I mean… I am an exhibitionist.

Priest:
— So you love being the center of attention? That’s admirable.

Penitent (whispering):
— I am sinful, Father! I walked in the park, showing my rising cock at a garden party…

Priest (beaming):
— You are the cock of the walk, a party rising star? May your career be long and blessed, my child!

Penitent:
— I repent, Father! My sin is great! It was… a children’s garden party…

Priest:
— Early exposure to our traditional spiritual values? A brilliant pedagogical method, my son!