Guardian Angel. 3. 1. Boom!

"A GUARDIAN ANGEL"
a mistical novel
by Alexandra Kryuchkova

PART III. 7 SECONDS

3.1. BOOM!!!

19:32:00
the 53rd km of Moscow Ring Road

A lead cloud followed me onto the Moscow Ring Road. It was very stuffy, but I was driving with the windows open, not turning on the air conditioner. There were a lot of cars, almost all moving at the same speed and in all lines, it probably made no sense to change line to the usual extreme left. Or was it a strange premonition of something about to happen? The instinct of self-preservation, whispering in my ear, «The quieter you drive, the farther you’ll be», moved me in the center, in the third line alien to me, but even there, in a dense stream, the speedometer needle showed «120», periodically dropping to «115» and then sliding up.

Thoughts, one after another, flying out like bees from the humming hive of the Subconscious through the partition that was ajar by the sound of music, were drawing sad pictures of my mosaic fate and eventually led the Consciousness (or me?) to the rhetorical question, «What am I doing here?»

On the right seat, next to my bag, there was an old book of poetry by Alexander Blok, I had read to bits as a child, after my mother’s death. Why that day, so many years later, I had taken it with me? But the chain of thoughts was interrupted suddenly. A red spot of metal on the right in the window… instantly… perpendicularly…

BOOM!!!


***
19:32:01
Library of the Universe


I opened my eyes. In the misty haze, I saw rows of racks full of books up to the ceiling. I could hardly take a few steps towards the familiar hall — yes, I had already been there during the meditations at the seminars of R.A. Mansurova. Once she had offered us to get to the Library of the Universe and find a book… «How did I get here? Am I at a seminar?»

Feeling my head splitting there, on Earth, I slowly drifted into the distance along the racks. Suddenly, someone grabbed my hand, «ALICE!!!»

I turned around and saw a Green-eyed woman in a sea-green dress. I recognized her and tried to smile, but she yelled, «You don’t have time! You have to remember! Do you understand?»

A terrible headache. I didn’t understand anything. How did I end up there? However, I didn’t have the strength to think at all. I began to fall somewhere into the Mist. The Green-eyed woman shook me by the shoulders and didn’t let me leave.

«What to remember?» I asked her mentally, concentrating with difficulty.

«The reason! In order to come back! You should be there, not here!»

«The reason?»

«Alice, we have no right to tell you the reason for what is happening, but we really want to help you! Remember!»

«Remember what? What happened? What does she want from me?» I grasped my ghost hand on an equally ghost bookshelf, but my strength left me. I saw a Man in black robes with a white collar materializing in the hall. He picked up my thin body, slowly sinking onto the ancient parquet floor from helplessness. His face was very close, a familiar face…

«Alice, look at me! You have very little time. Come on, remember!»

I fell into his eyes.


***
sometime in the Past, Venice


The Sun was shining. Ray and I were drinking coffee on San Marco. Musicians were playing. Pigeons were cooing. We were silent. He put his palm down on mine and stroked my fingers, trying to somehow bring me back to reality, «Everything will be fine! Let’s take a boat ride to the old bridge!»

I nodded silently. We paid for coffee and slowly walked into the distance. How long had I been silent? Ray didn’t force me to talk and didn’t torment me with questions or advice, and I was very grateful for that. He helped me survive the nightmare I had found myself. I didn’t talk, lost somewhere deep, deep into myself. When someone called me, I didn’t answer. Besides, everything was bugged, including my phone, so I had been sent to live in Venice, my favorite city.

We got on a black boat, decorated with red artificial flowers. I glanced at Ray, pointing at the mourning combination of colors and closed my eyes, put my head on his shoulder and buried my nose into his neck, and he hugged me, swaying like a child, and reassured again, «Everything will be fine. You’ll see.»

We got off at the old bridge. The Sun was shining. We went up and stood on the bridge for a long time, and then Ray led me to a jewelry store, «Let’s buy you something!»

I didn’t want and didn’t need anything. Ray knew that, but we left the store with a ring as a keepsake for me and a chain for a cross for him, and we wandered through the narrow streets, getting lost in them. Periodically, Ray made me stop here and there, and asked me to smile in order to take a picture of me.

And the night came again. I couldn’t fall asleep, perhaps, being afraid of getting into another nightmare. I turned to face Ray. I had always wondered whom he reminded me of, and finally I realized that he looked like Blok! Yes, both in appearance and in character, but Ray wasn’t a poet.

Ray sighed, stroking my hair, and said, «Tell me, Alice…»

I forced myself to say it out loud, while resting my finger on his solar plexus, «You are Blok…»

«Are you Anna or Love?»

«I’ll die… here…»

«No, Alice, you won’t die in Venice! You’ll return home. Fall asleep, don’t be afraid of dreams. I’m nearby. Everything will be fine, you’ll see…»


My Venice in a crown
is deadly fragile, yet…
I got in Gothic Palace
a sudden call from you,
but neither joy nor tears,
nor shiver for my soul.
I will be surely cured
of all my empty dreams
by breathing Venice more…


***
Library of the Universe


The Nun flew into the Library through the Window into the World. The Green-eyed rushed towards her, «What’s there?»

«Front side door, 90 degrees. I threw her into another corridor, where there were no cars, but the belt didn’t work out. I held her neck. The car was turned to the left. Her body was thrown back between the front seats. A very hard blow to the head, to the back of the head on the right, a concussion, and her right ear…»

«What about the pillows?» the Green-eyed interrupted.

«I am not God,» the Nun said. «They didn’t open. Moreover, I didn’t hold her glasses kicked out the window. How is she here?»

«She has gone too far into the Past and is not aware of what is happening,» the Man said. «I talked with the guardian of Time. He’ll stretch every second for an hour, but no more, because she’ll have to work off every hour for years.»

I hardly opened my eyes and saw a ghostly male face in front of me, similar to Ray, which gradually became more and more distinct, and I heard a desperate female voice, «We haven’t thought of this! Look, the Space of Options for her Future has drastically shrunk. Scenarios are getting extinguished de-energized! They need to be fed with her energy urgently!»

The Green-eyed grabbed my hand, forcing me to rise from the floor, and we flew off somewhere into the distance. I didn’t understand anything. I had almost no strength. How did I get there? What were they doing with me? Why couldn’t I go back? We stopped abruptly at one of the bookshelves.

«Alice, this is your bookshelf! Look at it!»

I clearly saw the spines of my already published books, their titles and colors. But next to them, there were so ghostly books that I couldn’t read their titles.

«You have to go back, Alice! To finish what’s already waiting for you here! Let’s go! We don’t have time at all!»

I didn’t understand what was going on. My head hurt terribly… there, on Earth. I saw blood on my dress. Why?

«It’ll heal before your wedding!» the Green-eyed said, noticing my questioning look.

We passed through the door and found ourselves in the blue-black void of the Universe. I almost ran out of strength and closed my eyes. With an enormous speed, the Green-eyed flipped through the ghostly Book, big as a skyscraper, until she reached the right page.

«Jump into it! Come on, be brave!» she said in a commanding voice and pushed me inside.


***
sometime in the Future,
a flat on the Old Arbat street


Ray showed me his large rooms. Almost everything was black there — walls, furniture –only the floor was checkerboard black and white, and the ceiling was white. I looked around with interest. I had never been in that flat before. It looked like a palace.

«What do you think?» Ray asked, smiling.

«A lair of the black magician!»

It was very hot outside. I took off my shoes and slid barefoot on the floor. We went to the bathroom to wash our hands. I looked at myself in the mirror and didn’t understand anything. What was wrong with my right ear? It was in patches, completely filled with green medicine so that it looked black in some places!

«It’ll be healed until your wedding, Alice! Your stitches were removed only yesterday! Don’t worry! Let’s deal with your ear now. You’ll be the most beautiful bride!» Ray reassured me and added with a smile, «Don’t forget to invite me to your wedding!»

«Don’t do black magic, Ray!»

«Let’s go to the kitchen! I bought strawberries. Magic today will be exclusively white! Moreover, it’s your fault! You were warned on the eve by that man from Gelendzhik. First in writing, but you didn’t understand, then verbally — he dialed you. They said to you straight out, „Stay at home!“ and even announced the date! Oh you!»

I looked at Ray with a silent question, «What are you talking about? What happened? How did I end up here? Loss of memory! By the way, what date is it today?»

I carefully stepped onto the chess floor, as if walking in a minefield. I was afraid to make a wrong step and fell through it. It was hard for me to walk. I was limping for some reason, and my hands were bruised. I tried in vain to remember what had happened before I entered Ray’s flat. And I was scared to admit to Ray that I didn’t remember anything… Stop!

«Ray, I remember a dream of being buried in Venice.»

«You told me, yes. So did you get what had happened to you there, in Venice?»

«No,» I sighed weary.

«You have time to rewrite the script!»

Ray washed strawberries. He knew I loved them just like that — without milk, without cream, but with sugar, and he, on the contrary, preferred them with milk and no sugar. Therefore, he fed me from his hand first and then filled the rest with milk and ate himself. Ray tried to cheer me up kidding, but for some reason it hurt me to laugh. My body hurt at the place of the ribs… And my back… Every breath made me feel pain… Why?

I was sitting on a wide windowsill by the window facing the courtyard. The wind flirted with my airy dress. And I noticed huge bruises on my legs. My God! I tried to figure out what had happened, but in vain.

Ray sat down in a rocking chair, thinking about something. We kept silent for a long time, each thinking about something own. Then he told me with his glance to sit down on his lap. I sat down sideways, with my legs crossed. He hugged me and made me lie down with my sore right ear on his left shoulder so that my nose was stuck in his neck. Ray turned on the TV. I knew he wasn’t going to watch anything. He needed to fill the space with a monotonous sound to put me into a trance to work with my ear. Then Ray started slowly rocking the chair, stroking my back…

I fell into the Mist somewhere… From time to time, I teared myself away from his shoulder and whispered something from There. He looked straight into my eyes, or rather, inside me, somewhere in the very depths, hypnotizing again and again, gently returning my head to my shoulder and whispering, «Sleep, Alice, sleep. You need to have a rest. And your ear, too… Tomorrow it’ll be like a new and healthy one. You’ll see. You’ll be the most beautiful bride!»

An hour later, Ray brought me back to reality and turned off the TV. We came up to the door.

«You’ll live a long and happy life, Alice! A long and happy one…»

He opened the door for me, I stepped out, and…


***
somewhere in the Universe


…I found myself in the blue-black void of the Universe!

«Oh my god, what’s going on? Where am I? How did I get here?» I tried to concentrate in order to remember at least something, but everything was so mixed up in my mind that I didn’t understand anything at all. I saw a bloody stain spreading across the dress.

The Green-eyed instantly appeared in front of me and grabbed my hand, but suddenly, out of nowhere, a giant dial appeared against the background of the blue-black void, and one of its three hands moved loudly to the right… An invisible Force picked me up and carried me away.

Some centuries later, recall!
However, death still is a trifle.
Your karma is smoothed by the coin
of forgiveness.
By tenderness shooters are shot.
The tears will be sunk into silk.
Extremely lightweight in my heart,
I am boundless.

The city on water deep dark
is serving an ominous star.
The boats are mooring again
to disaster.
The feelings will paint all the cloths.
The bridges will tremble, collapse.
The news will awaken the posts —
a tsunami.

The wings got the trail of return.
A ticket was bought by the pain
reduced up to zero ahead
of its schedule.
I sprinkle your planet with rains.
I’m saving affection for dates.
I love even more, even more
in absentia.