Aiko. Tales of Full Contact. Part 2 2. Rapist

2.

Rapist.


Manila. Tanny and I. Having fun. Not a care in the world. Laughing at our past. Two tables away, a guy looks familiar.


- That’s Al, I tell Tanny

- Al? Who’s Al? Al Pacino?

- No. No. Just Al now.


He used to dress as sharp as Al Pacino in the seventies. Then moved to the States. Now he is in shorts, a tank top and flip-flops. He has a belly. So now… he’s just Al. There’s no Pacino.


Al notices Tanny, smiles and waves. As we keep on laughing he walks over:


- I knew it! The girl from the Nissan. You smoked weed in the university parking lot. Every time you opened that door, a cloud followed you out. When the guards came, everyone ran.

- It was me, Tanny laughs. But the Nissan guy brought the weed.


Al goes back to his table and returns with a friend:


- My friend knows you from college, too. Engineering department. He wants to meet your friend.


Tanny recognizes him immediately:


- Hi! I remember you! You were the most handsome guy in Engineering. You want to meet my friend? You dated her in college.

The friend says hi and offers his hand. I shake it. Tanny interrupts:

- Done with the hi-hi. Give me a kiss and a hug.

Al asks to join us and Tanny knows I don’t like that:


- Sit at the table beside us. Jap and I are talking. What happened when you two dated? I remember the four of you going to the movies. I drove the girls there to meet you.


The friend doesn’t answer. They sit at the next table and order drinks.


- Cheers!

- Cheers!


He looks at me, then at Tanny:


- How can I forget her

  The one that got away

  I saw her

  I was with her

  And boom!

  She’s gone. Totally gone.

  Never saw her again.

  And the next time I see her. It’s tonight here with you, Tanny.

  And until now I couldn't talk to her without you being there.

  Same way. Back in college.


His face is straight. He looks at me now:


- Why were you gone? Where have you been? You have no idea how I really liked you. That time in college I wanted you to be my girlfriend.


I don’t answer. I’m searching my memory. Tanny speaks for me:


- That time? You mean… you... are... being... serious? You wanted to be her boyfriend?

- Yes.

- We were just playing back in college.

  Drinking.

  Drugs.

  Partying.


Then I suddenly remember the drugs:


- Tanny said you are a rapist.


The table goes silent.


- What?! What do you mean? Rapist?! Me? Rapist?!

- Yes. You. Rapist you.

- Who told you that?! Where on earth did you even get that word?

- From Tanny. Tanny said you are a rapist.


The Rapist looks at Tanny:


- How could you say that!! For God’s sake, I have a mother! And a sister! I just... wanted... her... to be... my girlfriend! How did I become a rapist?!

Tanny searches for words. She glances at me for help, then back at him:

- That was years ago. I can’t remember anymore. Here… we need to refresh our memories. Let’s drink!

We lift our glasses. The Rapist does not move. His eyes go from Tanny’s face to mine, then back again. He sets his glass down.

- I need to go to my car, he says. I need to change my shirt.

He comes back wearing a red shirt. Tanny points at it:


- Your name is Red.

- No, I’m not Red.

- Yes, I said. You are Red. Your eyes were so red that afternoon before the movie theater.

- You are into weed, Tanny added.

- That was college life.


He’s staring at me now. Steely glint.


- Why were you gone?

- That afternoon we bumped into each other. No words. We just smiled. Your eyes were so red.

- You have the most beautiful and cleanest looking feet I’ve ever seen at our university.


Tanny nearly spills her drink laughing. Al slaps the table. Red doesn't move.


- Not true, I laughed. I have chicken feet.


I liked sandals in college, but they weren't allowed. I used to put band-aids on my toes and pretend I was injured so I could wear them.


- Why were you gone? He asks again.


I remember that afternoon on campus. Tanny asked me and my classmate if we had a movie date. I asked her why his eyes were so red.

- Weed, she said.

- What’s weed?

- A light drug. Like a cigarette. You saw the smoke in the Nissan? That’s weed.

- We have a date later. What will happen if he’s on weed?

- Oh. It’s kinda dark in the movie theater. You kiss or touch, maybe he’ll rape you.


The word ‘rape’ stayed in my mind all afternoon.  Then later, around the time we were all supposed to meet, my classmate came by:


- Hey Jap, let’s go now! Our double date!

- Please don’t leave my side. Do you think the boys will do something bad to us?

- Of course not, we are just dating. But… we don’t know what’s next.

- What’s next?

- May be some kissing

  Hugging.

  Some touching.

- No rape?

- Why rape?

- That’s what Tanny said.

- He likes boys so… anyway, is this your first time going on a movie date?

- Yup.


On the way to the date, Tanny whispered in my ear: It’s dark. If he jumps on you, just close your eyes and cherish the moment.


When I entered the cinema — it was dark and cold. He asked me if he could hold my hand so we don’t lose each other.


- Ok, you can hold my hand.


We sat down. I looked for the other two and couldn’t find them. I told him I needed to go wash my hands before touching popcorn. He said sure.


Then I ran.


Across the street, to the pizza house where Tanny and friends were drinking.


- What happened?! The movie has already ended? Where’s the other girl?


I told them, I didn’t know.


- Why are you here?

  What about the kiss?

  The hug?

  The touch?

  The moment?


I whispered to Tanny:


- I’m still a virgin.

  I can’t be raped.

  It should be one good memory.

  Right?

  And not at the movie theater.


- You like him, right?

- Yes, I do. But not this way. Cannot be. I want to have a boyfriend, not a rapist.


The Rapist is quiet for a moment. The ice is swirling in his drink:


- The movie started. 30 minutes — still no you. Waited another 15 minutes—still... no you.


Then he left my popcorn and my apple juice and went to his friends’ house to smoke more weed.

- She’s a goddamn CASPER, he told them. A friendly ghost.


Al’s drink nearly goes up his nose. He looks at me, then at Red:


- You call him Rapist. He calls you Casper.


Tanny is doubled over. I smile at my glass. The bar noise swallows the college ghosts.


- Please. Please. Please! I’m not a rapist! I’m a one-woman man!


He slides a card across the table:


- I’m a pilot. And may I ask for your real name. I only know ‘Jap’.

- I’m ok. CASPER is cute.

- Maybe someday? When you don’t think I’m a rapist anymore?

- Let’s see. Some day.

- And you know my name?

- Yes, it’s RED.


Then Tanny looks at him:


- Do you still smoke weed?

- Only if there’s no flight coming up for a long time. Can’t be the same way as it was back in college. There are always tests before flying.

- So you are still RED. Even if it’s sometimes.

- Yes, but I’m not... a... rapist.


Before we left there was a moment when I found myself seated with just him in front of me. Tanny and Al went to the bar to get something and stayed there for a while drinking and laughing. We were alone at the table.


- If my eyes weren't red that time, would I have had a chance?

- Yes. You were such a hunk that time. I liked you back then.

- If we had that chance, how long would I have had to chase you? Days? Months?

- No months.

  No days.

  The moment you say you wanted me to be your girlfriend

  I would’ve said ok.

- Really? No hard time?

- No.

  No need to waste time. Courtship is fake time. It’s all positive. I will never see the real you. If it’s us, it’s us.

  How to know if we will last?

  It’s up to us.

  If it works out then we’ll be ok.

  If not, then it’s just another story.


- So if I asked you that time to be my girlfriend. Would you be? Even for a day?

- Yes.

- For a week?

- Yes.

- For a month?

- Yes.

- For 6 months?

- Yes.

- ……more than 6 months?... A year?

- No. That’s more than a semester.

- The talk at the uni was that you were impossible to date. Driver, security, nanny. Always with friends. Expensive alcohol. Blue Seal cigarettes. We were just students. Who could afford you?

- You only saw what’s around me. You didn't see me. Those bottles - those were just gifts to my father I grabbed on my way out. I was just me.

- Who’s the real you?

- The one who ran.

He looked at his drink.

- Yeah, Casper.


He lifted his glass.


- I should’ve been brave enough to look you in the eye and talk to you back then. Ego is heavy. And it was heavier that time.

- What do you gain from it? The ego. When you want something

  Do it,

  Say it.

  If you win, you win.

  Keep it.

  If you lose you lose.

  Learn from it.

…

  Be man enough.

  Only you can make yourself win or lose.

  All is up to you.


Then we disappeared for each other. Yet to be seen again. Or not. Never got close enough. Each one is like a vague smoke from two distant mountain tops. Shying further and further away. Visible enough to violate the red in the sky at sunset.