Malicious and Inadequate

Olga Shcheglova (Boris Bidyaga)

WARD №666. THE GRAND ALBUM OF SATIRICAL MINIATURES

Miniature №59
MALICIOUS AND INADEQUATE

February 2026.
Russia, Moscow, the Kremlin. In the office at the desk: Russian President Vladimir Putin and Presidential Aide Nikolai Patrushev.

Putin:
— Yesterday, the minister reported to me that we are launching two thousand drones a week against the Ukrainians. We are methodically destroying their energy infrastructure, heating networks, and water supply. Entire neighborhoods are living without gas, water, and power. In my opinion, it's an excellent motivator. So? How is Ukrainian society reacting to this?

Patrushev:
— According to intelligence data, malice and hatred are mounting within Ukrainian society.

Putin (rubbing his hands with satisfaction):
— Well, and how much has Zelensky’s rating dropped?

Patrushev (grimly):
— Their hatred is directed not at Zelensky, but at us.

Putin:
— That is because we haven't squeezed them hard enough. When it becomes a matter of life or death, they will break. I order you to deploy our secret weapon.

Patrushev:
— We have ALREADY deployed it. Ever since the first days of December. Frosts like these have never been recorded in Ukraine in the entire history of observations. Weren't you briefed? For two months, the temperature has consistently remained 10 to 15 degrees below the climatological norm. Heating radiators in apartments are bursting, and repairs are forced to be put off until spring. You can take my word for it, true arctic cold has set in across Ukraine.

Putin:
— And they are ready to endure this? Fools! For what? For the sake of a few ruined cities in the Donbas? For the sake of a dozen hectares of devastated land?

Patrushev (with vexation):
— Who the hell knows what those Ukrainians want! They must have all lost their minds over there from this war. Once we seize the Donbas, we’ll need to run all the locals through filtration psychiatric camps. Set people’s minds straight, calm their nerves. Haloperidol will bring them back to reality in no time.

Putin (with a sigh):
— Ukraine was invented by Lenin, that's a well-known fact. But who on earth populated it with these malicious and inadequate creatures?

#OrthodoxMilitaryPutinism