The West to blame for everything...

Our people have been brainwashed with absolute genius. No matter what happens, no matter what problem arises, the West is to blame for it all. From economic failures to memory lapses after a night of heavy drinking; from a pimple on one’s skin to black holes in deep space—it’s all the West’s fault. They’re the ones who supposedly dismantled the USSR, discredited communism, sabotaged all our reforms, and even messed up the weather, leaving us now to face the threat of global warming. Naturally, they are also to blame for young mothers abandoning their children, the rising divorce rate, premature impotence, "non-traditional" sexual relationships, our poor leadership, and the muddled state of our history—in short, the accursed West and the democracy knocking at our doors are responsible for everything.

And before they arrived—well, honestly, was our life really so bad? Everything was as perfect as it could possibly be! Cows were multiplying, milkmaids were full of vigor, old men could father children well into their nineties, doctors were churning out dissertations one after another, and our literature and cinema—what a golden age that was! The country was hauling coal out of the mines by the ton, and the rivers were so teeming with *vobla* (dried roach) that you could practically cross the water by walking on the fish!

Those damned capitalists—they’ve ruined, poisoned, and destroyed everything, just to ensure we can no longer live the way we used to!