Chapter II. How They Were Making A Junkie of Me

I opened my eyes and realized that I was lying on a bed. I didn’t know how much time had passed since the surgery. It was bright, but I couldn’t see anything clearly without glasses. I only noticed that everything around me was white. I thought: ‘Is this heaven?’, but then I smelled alcohol and realized: ‘It’s not heaven’. I made my brain work, and I also realized that it was possibly Monday. I remembered about the surgery, but I didn’t feel anything. Only smell of alcohol. Later I got to know that I was in the intensive care unit, but it didn’t mean anything to me then.

After some time I tried to move. But I realized that I couldn’t because my arms and legs were tied to my bed. ‘What the heck?’ I thought and decided to call for somebody. But I spent a long time wondering whom I could call. Many different thoughts flashed through my head: ‘Waiter!’, ‘Hey!’, ‘I’m here!’, ‘Duckwort!’, ‘Chip and Dale!’, ‘Comrades!’ But then I found a suitable word: ‘Doctor!’ At first I wanted to ask for something to drink or eat but when I saw the doctor’s face, I changed my mind. I realized that not everything was O.K. with me. ‘I’ll undo your hands, only don’t pull out the tubes from your stomach’, said the doctor and put up a blanket. I was amazed. I was impressed as I had never been before. All my stomach was wrapped in white bandages, add comma here and in my right side there were TWO PLASTIC TUBES full of dark red liquid. I realized that it was blood. I was in panic. But later this feeling changed into another one. The nurse came to me and gave me an injection. It eased my pain and I turned my head to look and I was amazed to see – there was a little blue plastic tube right in my arm. And she put the needle right inside it. But after the injection I felt calmness… relaxation… I could think about Paris or fall asleep. I chose the second option. I thought, thank you very much, and I fell asleep.

When I woke up, add comma here I was very thirsty. My mum came to me, but they didn’t let her come into the ICU. She gave me a bottle of water; I drank a bit and some seconds later I vomited. I didn’t want to drink anymore. And I didn’t want to eat because I had been feed with the dropper. Later, I had one more injection – and more dreams.

So the whole day passed like this: sleeping – an injection, sleeping – an injection. I was waiting for something new, but they were not going to treat me with anything else.

Then somebody came to me. I didn’t see who it was, but I waved my hand meaning that I was OK and there was no need to worry about me. All in all, I was out of my mind – even Eddie Murphy or Stephen Segal would have come to me.

The day had passed and the night came. I woke up again when it was dark. I heard the music from the next room and I was irritated by it. Just imagine – the ICU and music. Nice. But I asked nurse to give me one more injection, she did, and I fell asleep again.

Tuesday was almost similar to Monday. They did more testing on me, and in the evening I was sent to an ordinary room. But I was still lying down and couldn’t get up.

The guys in my new room were kind. They gave me a glass of tomato juice. And it was good that I didn’t drink it. A nurse said to me later that if I had drunk it, they would have to cut me again and take out juice with spoons right from my stomach and gut.

The second night was coming. I had an injection again and as usual fell asleep. And that evening I found out the reason of the surgery. For doctors it was nothing special, but it was a little bit unpleasant for me. I had a tear in my liver. They told me that they saved my life. I was very thankful for that, but I still wanted those tubes out of me. But everything happens in its own time.