Work Study - 1. The Summer Term

        It was noontime. The campus barely stirred. Those few who stayed behind
to take advantage of the summer term offerings were looking for respite from
the oppressive Florida heat. Only a handful of tenacious souls were crisscrossing
Plaza of the Americas, a prime hangout spot for the university students. Even
the Hare Krishna bunch who are a perennial fixture at every lunch hour doling
out vegan food to a relentlessly carnivore student body were now gone. The
vacant look of the Plaza put more pangs into Ann’s stomach that’s been
grumbling dourly for the past couple of hours. She didn’t have time for breakfast
in the morning and now seem to have do without lunch until her classes end. Not
that there was nowhere to grab a bite – the campus was a Mecca for all sorts of
fast food joints – it was cash that was in short supply. There was none, not even
loose change that could buy her a snack from a vending machine. She didn’t have
any other options since she ditched plastic upon the painful realization that her
lack of discipline was the culprit for the embarrassing mount of credit card debt.
        ‘On the bright side,’ she thought, ‘it does not hurt to lose a few pounds.
I hate my thighs. I hate my thighs.’ She kept on mumbling the self-depreciating
mantra as she trotted to a water fountain hoping to quiet her stomach with a few
sips, and then ventured into the sun praying that the stifling heat will take an
edge off her hunger. Her next class was ten minutes of a brisk walk away at the
Psychology building. Hardly anything was less suited to her mood now than a
lecture on eating disorders. She signed up for this class to fulfill the psychology
requirement for her Masters in English Education. Scheduled right after lunch the
class induced her with that rare feel-good emotion about herself. Most often than
not lunch was followed by a sense of remorse that her mindless eating habits were
to blame for the womanly silhouette that set her apart from waify-looking undergrads.
What got to her most is how she looked in short shorts and flip-flops, the unofficial
year-round campus uniform. But what would one expect of a 30-year old mother of two?
A few months ago she could not fathom dragging her sorry ass across the university
campus in the ninety degree weather with a backpack laden with textbooks.
        Going back to school arose mixed feelings in Ann. She was acutely nostalgic
about the years she spent as a sorority drifter, which now was a closed chapter.
Yet it was undeniably invigorating to see some semblance of direction entering
her vastly disarrayed life. For the past several years Ann felt at odds with her own
existence. It all started when her father passed away. All the missteps thereafter
she interpreted as a sign of succumbing to some wicked power that could not be
satisfied with her great loss and kept on demanding more sacrifices. Her college
years were probably the best time of her life, but she could not graduate. Her
father’s death caught her in her junior year. By the time Ann got over her
depression her mother seemed to had gone through a transformation of her own,
she became bitter and irrational refusing to handover the money that was set aside
as Ann’s college fund. To escape abuse and humiliation Ann rushed into a marriage,
which tuned out to be no less abusive or humiliating.
        Travis was from her high school. They hadn’t spoken until they bumped into
each other during the summer following her father’s death. By then Travis had his
own construction business and looked far more mature than horny college kids she
dated back at school. Although he wasn’t an intellectual he was a passionate jazz
aficionado and that added to his mystique. Blinded by grief and desire to escape
she was slow to realize that Travis was one of those macho types for whom women
were a disposable commodity. But then they had Courtney. Courtney had an angelic
face with striking blue eyes and a halo of golden curls. She seemed to have absorbed
the best from the two genetic pools. Yet Travis didn’t have any warm feelings toward
her. Every time she cried he’d put on headphones and cranked up the volume trying to
drown his daughter’s voice in the dense cacophony of jazz improvisations.
        After the breakup and a year spent in therapy Ann went back to school to
finish her degree for which she had to take out a student loan. The realization
that her English major would hardly help her land anything more significant than a
receptionist or an admin position only added insult to the injury. Her stint at a
dental practice led her to an affair with a cute dentist, a pregnancy and a yet another
hasty marriage. When Dennis was born, he was a colicky little boy who cried a lot.
Unlike Travis, her new husband was a softy and didn’t mind fussing over his son.
Nonetheless the softest spot David held was for his mom, who was infuriated by the
fact that her son got tricked into marrying a shiksa, instead of getting himself
a nice Jewish girl. The marriage didn’t last. Ann wasn’t as heart broken as just
simply broke with two kids and no decent job. Although David’s child support was a
sizable sum and the check arrived regularly, it wasn’t enough for the three of them.
Inevitably she racked up a credit card debt hoping to pay it off once she finds a better
job, which never happened. While trying to work out a more forgiving arrangement
with the credit card companies, she had to go through financial counseling. A girl who
was assigned to her case was a business school graduate from her alma mater. She
helped Ann to devise a plan that eventually was supposed to help Ann gain financial
independence. And this is how she ended up here back on campus.
        Ann arrived five minutes early for her lecture and took the front seat.
Students began to file into the classroom. They were primarily female, grads and
seniors, mostly psychology majors. There were a few from her program with whom she
began talking not paying attention to the movement around her. When she turned her
gaze to the instructor’s desk she was almost shell shocked to see Brain a few feet
away in front of her. It’s been six years or so. Brian was her therapist when Ann
was recovering from depression and a bitter divorce from Travis. At that time she
was so vulnerable that it did not take her long to fall for Brian. Alas, he was
married. Regardless of the marriage, his professional ethic code did not allow him
to become involved with his clients. Pretty soon he ended their sessions referring
Ann to his less charming colleague.
         Brian seemed to have gained weight over the years. He also wore his hair
longer and had almost a cherubic look about himself. What pleased her most was
absence of the wedding ring. There wasn’t even a tan line that might have suggested
forgetfulness or mischief. He didn’t notice Ann as he was scanning the classroom
and announcing that he’d be a substitute for the day. She looked away hoping that
this ostrich maneuver would help her to stay incognito at least for a while before
she’d be ready to look into his eyes. Ann was rather grateful that of all
circumstances she saw him here, in the classroom. It bought her fifty minutes to
rehearse her part. "The summer term is promising to be rather exciting," she noted
sinking into reverie.