Runtu I was really angry. F-ing Cult. I think

Runtu: /  http://proza.ru/2023/11/20/644 / I was really angry. F-ing Cult. I think I meant it. USA

Runtu : A few years ago, /  http://proza.ru/2023/11/20/644 / after I had my sudden epiphany about Mormonism, I was really angry.

2023 : Telegram : Runtu, Uri TikTok : ВТОРЯ СЛОВАМ Дмитрия Сергеевича ЛИХАЧЕВА: - ' Как заметил читатель, я, прежде всего, пишу о людях. Люди — самое важное в моих воспоминаниях. Стремясь восстановить их индивидуальность, я выполнял свой долг — сохранить о них память. Сколько же их было? Как они были разнообразны и как интересны! Какую ценность представляет человеческая личность! Мне надо было бы систематически вести записи, ибо ради этих встреч стоит жить. И в основном люди — хорошие. Встречи в детстве, встречи в школьные и университетские годы, а затем… не удалось удержать в памяти все целиком. И это самая большая неудача в жизни. Остается надеяться, что мои воспоминания о них — не единственные. Но когда подумаешь о том, сколько же хороших, душевно богатых людей не оставило о себе никакой памяти… ' / http://www.proza.ru/2016/03/24/221 / Celebrities Media TV Radio Russia / Canberra ACT Australia / : Hео-трансцендентальный театр : 2022.




 I felt like I had wasted 40 years of my life putting all my efforts and energy into something that wasn’t real.

And I wanted to blame someone for it.

I took to calling the LDS church a “fucking cult” fairly regularly, and I think I meant it.

I was pissed off, and I wanted everyone to know it.

My wife taught me something important a while back, and that is that anger is almost always a substitute for a deeper underlying emotion.

For me, it was sadness and hurt. I can’t describe how sad and hurt I felt to discover that the life I had devoted myself to was based on a lie, and a pretty big lie at that.

I remember the day that we went to talk to my bishop about my lack of faith.

I lay on my bed sobbing harder than I have ever sobbed, except for the day I learned my brothers were dead.

 I could not be consoled, and my wife didn’t even try. She knew that nothing she could say would help.

They say anger is a natural part of grieving, and maybe it was for me.

But I’m glad it passed. I’m glad I can drive past a church without flipping it off ...

(I’m embarrassed to admit I did that a few times driving past our stake center in Texas).

 I’m glad that I can be respectful towards things I do not believe.

I’m glad I can appreciate the good that the church does in my family’s lives and in the lives of millions of people.

That’s not to say that I believe in the church. I don’t. And I have solid reasons not to believe.

I think one of the other reasons I was angry was that I couldn’t really tell my family about what I was thinking and feeling.

It always ended up in hurt feelings and sometimes anger.

I’m again grateful that I no longer feel that need to convince anyone that I’m right (though I know I’m right, notch).


My goal is a live-and-let-live existence.

My wife has told me before that she backed away from her public forms of worship because she didn’t want to hurt my feelings.

I’d like to think I’m beyond that,
and it pains me to know that she ever thought that of me.

I have a long way to go,
 but I’m getting better every day,
at least I hope I am.


2023 : Telegram : Runtu, Uri TikTok : " Why do we need these? " - Rudolf Nureyev asked. "Because we need life experience from these people and only on the basis of life experience can we make predictions for the future without states self-destruction and international wars..." - he underlined. "I wish good luck for Russia, but I would like to know the true colure of the future for such a great civilization with over one thousand year’s historical record. Please remember..." - he said. "We have in Russia two-hundred-year-old theaters, two hundred and fifty years of ballet and music as well as a great and the most fascinating literature and poetry to be found in the world which is over five hundred years old. Think about and be proud to keep this tradition well and fruitful from the beginning to the end of such a fascinating cultural project. I wish you good luck and God be with you." This Rudolf Nureyev said to me in Armidale ( NSW : Australia ) on November 23, 1991 " / http://www.proza.ru/diary/yuri2008/2017-02-23 / Iouri Runtu: French : Rudolf Noureev : La Mort a Paris / Юри Рюнтю : Russian / Uri Runtu: English Yuri Ryuntyu / Celebrities RU : Hео-трансцендентальный театр : 2022.